失去對子女教導的耐性了

cmama

FK,

If your kid has a poor attention, try to consult an educational psychologist and also consider whether the current school is suitable for him.
All the best!

cmama

ykwong

KC,

Here comes my one and a half cents; I can't disagree what you mentioned. Nuturing a child is not an academic achievement, but more the proper growth of a human.

I have a little bit change when my son from kinder to primary. From happy learning to a little bit harder into the academic. Why?

Most of the parents appear here, are fall into the local education system. Some of them are  traditional-minded that: elite kinder, then primary, secondary at last HKU. The past successful way in our society.

First of all, I don't recognise the past way is suit for nowadays situation, but this is  another topic. In my own view, going to a desired school allow a better environment to the kids. Academic achievement are actually not important.

But the fact is that, most of us fall into the local system. All I concern is that, I want a good school. Not for good result, but for the environment. Think about the Sheung Sui La Salle. I absolutely don't want my son studies in these kind of school. How to avoid? Make sure he (I) could have the chance of selection.

Under this constraint, I can only try to make sure that he enters into the band one category so as to have a better range of choice. Have you ever seen my previous posting

"只愛band one，不愛rank one!"

That's what my goal!

Side track: I know you learn violin together with your daughter, did you try piano? I learn both (without tutor). I can't agree to what you said if she can achieve grade 8, why can't you. I'm sure I cannot, not because without a tutor, the fingers of mind don't allow it actually. It is due to my age together with the stubborn right brain. But of course, it didn't reduce the idea to your point of view.

warrrren

Hi ykWong

"只愛band one，不愛rank one!"  That's what my goal

This is of course a valid goal.  And I certainly agree that band one schools generally provide better learning environment.  Yet, I doubt whether getting into a band one school should be one's ultimate goal.  Isn't it true that there are other goals that are of equal or greater importance?

Side track: I know you learn violin together with your daughter, did you try piano? I learn both (without tutor). I can't agree to what you said if she can achieve grade 8, why can't you. I'm sure I cannot, not because without a tutor, the fingers of mind don't allow it actually. It is due to my age together with the stubborn right brain. But of course, it didn't reduce the idea to your point of view.

There is one thing that I cannot agree with you - achieving grade 8 should not be beyond the ability of an adult of normal intelligence.  It's true that children get more flexible fingers.  But isn't it also true that we adult are more capable of doing abstract thinking and apprehending matters that are too complicated for children?  Are we not supposed to be less easily distracted?  My daughter started to have violin lessons about a year ago.  I went to my daughter's lessons, picked up a few things and became interested.  As I knew not a thing about music, I started with books like music theory ABC, violin for a true dummy and so on.  I then buried my head in more advanced books like Simon Fishcher's Basics, Galamian's Principles of violin playing and teaching, Erdlee's Mastery of the Bow, and started teaching myself.  After having enough fun in torturing my wife, my girl and my cat, I got a teacher about two months ago and started having private lessons.  I am now at Suzuki Book 3 (Humoresque, Dvor

chong

am concentrate on attracting her to read books. So far, she has read more than 1,000 books from Jan 2004 to now in which about 40% of them are English picture books.

Hi, Eviepa

May I ask how to attracting her to read books?  Please advise.  My daughter used to like reading but lately seems lacking the interest even when I suggest to read with her or read her a story.  She'd rather choose to play.  When she was younger, she would ask us to buy her story books but now she only wants toys instead.  I don't want to force her reading as it makes no fun at all for both parties.  Could you share your experience?  Thanks.

ykwong

Fathers appear here seems have similar interests but different opinions. Sorry to all for our side tracking the main topic.

Philip, never heard you about talking about music here, we and our kids may form a chamber group later.

Why quotating my message? sorry I have bad comprehensive skill. But learning myself through my son just like looking at the mirror, I found it years before, and I must say that I improve lot during my son grow up. But still room for improvement!

But I have to emphasis that achievement in school is also part of nuturing the child. Not only to obtain band one, but to study self-discipline and responsibility. In contrast, I don't force my son in any ECA practice, I let him find his interest, if he interests in music, let him play music. Or sport, chess whatsoever, provided that I think it is healthy.

mattsmum

here is my experience teching my son to read:

1. take him to public library every week for about 1.5 hours since he was four. he read his picture books and I read mine, he usually goes around trying to find out what is interesting.

2. find out what he likes, dinosaur, spaceman, castle, fighting, etc and look for such books in the public library for him. they are usally large size picture books, very colourful and interesting.good starting point with such picture books. I don't require him to understand the words.

3. put these books everywhere in the house so that he can read anywhere, anytime if he wants.

4. read with him at night or whenever he wants to read, point figures to those big pictures. never beg him to read or force him to read, just treat these books as toys and read books purely for joy.

5. I read my own books whenever I got time, so he knows that mum is reading too.

6. TV is always on lock. only watch TV on scheduled hour.if he found interesting TV programme, buy those books for him, I bought "beasts we met", " sea monsters" and "walking with dinosaurs" for him after we watched these TV in the Pearl. he is very proud that he got such interesting books and he read them all the time.

7. whenever he said he want a book from a shop, i never stop him and usually buy these books for him.

i found that my son was not very keen in fairy tale stories but loved dinosaurs, so i borrowed a lot of such books for him in the library and read with him.

later, suddenly in about 6.5 years old, he loves to read not just picture books but books with words.

he is now almost 8, and his most favorite books are " ORT", he is now reading stage 8. quite a good achievement for P2 student.

I still read with him now at night.

so.san

Same question as cmama.

eviepa所講很令人羨慕! 我個仔讀緊K2, 但因開始有功課做, 已開始感受到這些壓力了! 不過我明白佢好細個ja, 絕對唔可以令佢討厭返學和做功課, 我絕對唔會發火, 唔做就算, 反而我試過打電話俾老師, 叫佢唔好俾咁多, 或者俾佢在學校做多D, 返屋企要休息和玩, 或者睇書才對!!

不過看完這個forum才知"好戲在後頭"! 如果我個仔到時考唔入eviepa這類小學就慘了!!

話說回來, 點解傳統小學雖然係傳統教法, 可唔可以俾少D壓力, 例如, 可唔可以不公布學生的排名? 我自己小學時讀傳統名校, 當時是沒有公布排名的, 有時老師會在年尾透露頭10名是誰, 以示嘉許, 其他一律不講, 咁唔好咩? 如果有同學的成績唔好, 老師會個別輔導, 甚至見家長, 但好少會"人比人, 比死人". 回想我當時唔覺得有壓力, 但校風好所以多數同學會自動努力讀書的. 請補習更加無想過!

點解而家D學校要排名次, 有甚麼好處? 請問有沒有官/津校不排名的? 請告訴我?

so.san

warrrren 寫道:
Hi ykWong

[quote]"只愛band one，不愛rank one!"  That's what my goal

This is of course a valid goal.  And I certainly agree that band one schools generally provide better learning environment.  Yet, I doubt whether getting into a band one school should be one's ultimate goal.  Isn't it true that there are other goals that are of equal or greater importance?



Hi KC,

You are very "high-sounding", I admire your thinking but I agree with ykWong more!

Just like what I said before, since my school provided an excellent environment for us, there was no need for ranking and unnecessary pressure. We just thought that learning and studying was our main duty in life. It was just like breathing and eating. There was no need to push us to study and everything was just so natural.

If a kid can enter such kind of school, it doesn't matter how high or low his ranking is, isn't it?

eviepa

lamba 寫道:
eviepa,

could you suggest some good books ( both chinese and english ) for reading for k3 students, thank you ?

Hi lamba,

Chinese books - too many good books.  You can choose a lot that is suitable for your kid from the library.

English books - My daughter started with "英文小讀者", a series of books in 6 levels, each level contains 9 books.  The characteristics:
1. Most of the books are one picture one sentence.
2. Each book with one or two key words to learn, repeat and repeat the theme.
3. With a set of common words throughout all the books.

about HK$120 to HK$150 per level.

In January 2004 when my daughter started reading English books, she was struggling with simple words like there, this, themselves, cross etc.  However, after finished reading these 54 thin books within 2 months, she was very familiar with the most common words.

The other series worth mention is "Oxford Reading Tree"  - stage 1 and 2 are suitable for beginner readers.  They can be borrowed from library.

eviepa

mattsmum 寫道:


he is now almost 8, and his most favorite books are " ORT", he is now reading stage 8. quite a good achievement for P2 student.

Hi mattsmum,

Magnificent achievement for a P2 student!

My daughter started reading English at mid-primary 2.  That is, she had her first English reading Jan this year, starting at extremely simple books.  Now, less than 1 year, she can read ORT (Oxford Reading Tree) for about stage 9.  So what will be her English reading ability when she read for few years.  I don't worry about my daughter's English if she follows this path.  Equally important is that when she reads books every day, she enjoys them.

Why bother to learn difficult grammar in this age?  Why bother to spell words without really knowing their meaning?

Why so many parents force their kids to learn unhappily and ineffectively?

AQMum

I also found problem with getting my daughter to read books. She is 5 now. We bring her to library every 2 weeks. She enjoys borrowing books and selecting books by herself. But not really want to read the books. She would like Daddy or Mummy to tell her the stories but not willing to read by herself. I always try to read with her by pointing at the pictures and words but she is very resistent to this. Sometimes she will go away immediately when I do this and show me her temper to let me know she doesn't like this.  Really don't know how to arouse her interest in reading.

Her another problem is too attracted by TV programs. Every night when I come back from work, she must be watching TV, no matter she is taking her dinner or just sitting on the sofa. And when she is watching TV, she never hear your words. Every time I try to persuade her not to watch TV (I usually allow her to finish the program she is watching and not stop her immediately), but it usually ends up with an unhappy ending. Just want to know, how can you mummies control the kids not to watch TV all the time ?

eviepa

chong 寫道:
[quote] am concentrate on attracting her to read books. So far, she has read more than 1,000 books from Jan 2004 to now in which about 40% of them are English picture books.

Hi, Eviepa

May I ask how to attracting her to read books?  Please advise.  My daughter used to like reading but lately seems lacking the interest even when I suggest to read with her or read her a story.  She'd rather choose to play.  When she was younger, she would ask us to buy her story books but now she only wants toys instead.  I don't want to force her reading as it makes no fun at all for both parties.  Could you share your experience?  Thanks.

[/quote]

Hi chong,

Before I answer your question, mattsmum already write to you.  Her methods are fantastic, a lot better than mine.  Read her passage and you will get good ideas.

For me, I took a conservative approach.  I prefered late than absent, i.e., wait patiently until time was ripe.  

When she was younger, I usually encouraged her to ask more questions, told her stories.  By doing these, she enjoyed stories, she enjoyed knowing the environment.  I waited and waited, until she had basic Chinese reading ability, then I read with her every evening.  After few months, she preferred to read by herself.  Part one done.  It was Jan 2004 when my daughter is in primary 2.  Then I shifted the attention to read English books, which will be a long project.

I tried every step carefully, didn't force her to read anything for fearing that she would dislike books.  She finally fell into my trap - reading becomes part of her daily routine.

It seems to me that your kid is still young.  Nurturing her curiosity is very important.  Don't force her to read books.

warrrren

HI AQmum,

We bring her to library every 2 weeks. She enjoys borrowing books and selecting books by herself. But not really want to read the books

Seems that your girl is having a good time at libraries.  How about going to libraries more often and spending more time there?  If your girl likes going to libraries, use the libraries.  Chance is that your girl will pick up a book and start to read when she sees other kids reading.  There is a good collection of the Oxford series at the Central library.  Go to the not for loan section (near the escalator), and you'll find a few sets of Oxford Reading Tree, Oxford Story Tree and the poems and plays supplements there.  My is girl is a big fan of Oxford Reading Tree.  She has covered all the books up to grade 9, and can now finish a grade 10 book all by herself.  The Berenstain Bear series children books (http://www.randomhouse.com/kids/berenstainbears/catalog/) are also very good.  You can also find them in the Central library.  

When reading to your girl, remember that you are reading a children book.  A 5 year old is perfectly capable of telling whether you are interested or not.  She will become interested if she feels that you too are interested.  Make reading fun.  Do not ever try to make your girl recognise each and every words.  Trust me, once your girl becomes interested, she will pick up all the words in no time.

Her another problem is too attracted by TV programs.

There are at least two different approaches - a more "military" approach and a guided approach.  Seems that you have already tried the first approach.  Try this instead - take your girl out for concert/show/drama, for a walk in the park, to visit a friend, go to the library, or do whatever that is interesting for a few consecutive evenings.  Do not go back home until your girl's favourite TV programmes are finished.  Let she feel and accept that the programmes are not indispensable and that she can live happily without those programmes.  Then replace the TV with some activities (not toys, toys only work for a short time) she enjoys doing.  Make sure you give her a lot of encouragement and support.

Quitting TV, like quitting any habit, is not easy.  I have met parents who are very concerned about TV.  Some of them however are not very determined.  We should know that a 5 year old can tell and say no to double standards.  If we want the children to quit TV, we parents should give up our favourite TV programmes.  I appreciate that I may sound "high sounding".  But, isn't it true that there is a price for everything?

Regards,
KC

ykwong

Philipwhau 寫道:

Good idea! Any concrete proposals?

Sorry, 又大口了!我與兒子都是沒天份的喜愛者，學習進度比較慢，相對來說起步亦比人遲。我想讓我們到四、五級水平時才算吧！總不成你們在拉四季，我們在拉 Lighty Row吧!

mattsmum

a bit deviated from this topic,
for chinese books, I can't find interesting series books which could built up a range from easy to diffulty levels, if anybody knows, please tell me.here are the books that i bought for my P2 boy:

The Little workmates series from ladybird – this is the set that he starts to read by himself, very colourful books and easy to read.
Oxford Reading Trees-, the adventure-type tales are his favorite, he would beg for one from time to time,
Children’s Bible story – the stories in Bible are attractive to him, he also gets to know these stories in his school and in Sunday school.
Step-into-reading Series – from simple stage 1 to stage 4, lots of good stories, last night we read Trojan Horse together, he also likes the Pompeii tale,
An I can read series – the stories are a big longer than step into reading, but got some funny tale like dinosaur goes to school with kids,
DK reader series- the lego books in this series are really made for boys who love to play lego toys.
Scholastic Series – range from Magic School Bus which my P2 boy could barely understood to mouse Mr. little which is easy to understand.

these are all series books and there are many good books in the market. the library is a good source of books.

each of these series books are just about US3.99, a bookshop in lee garden two-bookazen sold it for 3.99x7.8=32 or so.

any body got recommendation for chinese series books?

ykwong

About TV and reading habit,

Kids are copy machine, actually they are doing what their parents often do. If you enjoy TV, how can you persaude them not to do so?

I never try to teach the reading habit, but me and my wife used to read before sleep. My son urged me to the book shop to buy a book that is purely only words when he was five and a half. Just like what we read.

Habit-forming couldn't be forced. It should be influenced. My two cents.

mattsmum

"閱讀不是在搶分數,不要把閱讀成果導向學業成續的表現.這會讓孩子對閱讀產生壓力,甚至反感."

just pure happy reading together. you would see a surprise result when the time is right for him.