Any bad feeling about your children's teachers?

smlsml

My son is studying in an ESF kindergarten. I read my son's diary book/ notebook every day 'coz it's the only way I can know the news from his class. But for many times, I feel that his class teacher is not very friendly. For example, last Friday, she wrote that my son's eyes were 'teary', 'his health is not 100%' and so he should stay at home and avoid passing diseases to others (children and teachers)!'

Maybe it's cultural difference, I think she's too mean. If I were the teacher, I would tell the parents that the child seemed to have cried before arriving at school. If he doesn't feel well, it's safer to let him stay at home. Otherwise, as he has become weaker, it's easy to get even worse...

This Tuesday, I asked her if she could help my son give some Easter eggs (with some Jelly Beans inside) to his good friends in class. She replied, "We shall help." But perhaps my son didn't take the eggs out and/or she forgot it, they were still in the school bag when he came home. Then today, the last day of school, I sent her a msg again. Her reply is even more discouraging or even frustrating than before. She wrote: "You thought that it's generous, but it's not that simple" and then mentioned that she had to spend time writing on the receivers' handbooks to inform their parents why there was an egg in their child's school bag, "it was troublesome".

Have you ever got any similar experience before? Is it racial discrimination or cultural difference? I don't know if you have similar feeling or I should change my mindset and accept the way foreign teachers express themselves.

ahk019

smlsml,

Don't be so upset.  Perhaps the teacher is not as worst as you think.  Not sure if you did talk to her over the phone regarding the "easter egg" issue, or just using "msg".    One of my daughter's teacher is very straight forward and sometimes her wordings are very strong.   She is the most unpopular teacher in the school.  e.g. she criticized my daughter not wearing the proper uniform while all other students are doing the same and even no complaint from the principle . However, I graspe every chance to talk to her, no matter it's related to my daughter or chit-chat.   Gradually,  I understand it's her style and my daughter did learn alot from her.   

How does your son comment her?

alexlui

I can't judge the teacher but being a teacher she need to consider the benefits  of the whole class.  

Food may cause allergy and hygiene problems.  The feeling of other students is also a concern.  She may be rude but she is not wrong.  You may talk to your son to find out whether the teacher is good or not, trust him.

We cannot pretend racial discrimination does not exist, always thinking about that does not help either.

Regards.

smlsml

ahk019 & Alex,

Thank you very much for your response. In both the 'Easter Eggs' and 'don't-spread-disease' cases, we just communicated through my son's diary books.

You may suggest that I talk to her face to face. But my husband and I have to work early in the morning till 7-8pm. We hardly ever have the time to visit his school. Besides, in the last 2 times when I accompanied my son to go to school, she blamed me for not making an appointment. But one of them the first day after the Chinese New Year holiday. How would anybody stay at school to wait for parents' call? Besides, I explained to her that I didn't want to go with my son, but he didn't get enough sleep and therefore cried a lot at home(of course, luckily I didn't have to work that day). Then she said I should have the power but not my son. Frankly, I didn't want a lecture. I guess she didn't want me to stay in the kindergarten, not to mention her classroom.

My son seldom mentions her. But he would pretend the Putonghua teacher to teach me songs. He often asks me where the teaching assistants live, or says that he wants to invite the teaching assistants to go to Ocean Park with him. Sometimes, at the end of the list, he remembers his class teacher, but obviously not one of his favourite teachers.

I talked to the school bus driver before. She also said that this German lady is not friendly at all. That's why she couldn't be promoted to be the principal...

Anyway, I'm glad that she's going back to German at the end of this year.

ccy4921

I had the same feeling as you, because my son also studying in ESFTY. My son also doesn't like his class teacher since last Sep. I haven't seen the concept of a kindergarten such bad. So I will switch my son to other international school this coming Sep. I can say this year is a horrible year.

lenglengma

Probably they think that there are loads of people out there waiting for a seat....even if you leave, that doesn't really make a difference.  Not to mention discrimination...they tend to treat Caucasians better than other nationalities.  
I have experience in these kinda situation.  I think sometimes you have to be firm in telling them how you feel.  Tell her, "Yes, i understand the food situation but I would appreciate if you can talk to me in a nicer way."  Show her that you are able to express your feelings and you will not prefer to go blind because you are afraid that they will not treat your son right at school.  Everyone deserves equal opportunity.
There are tons of good international out there which offer wonderful education to your kid.  Besides, talking about manner, your son's teacher definately don't show a good role model to her students.
Teachers should always be kind and patient.  Not only with children but with parents too.  Has she ever took any time to really talk to you or may be call you on the phone?  My daughter's school teacher calls me after school personally to see if my daughter is okay (she didn't go to school because she was sick).  
I think parents and teachers should always have a good partnership in order to raise well-balanced kids.
Lenglengma

lenglengma

There's a kid at my son's class suffer from food allergy and one time my son brought a peanut butter sandwich to school.  His teacher just gently told him not to bring the peanut butter sandwich because his classmate will get really sick if he touches the peanut butter.  Then the teacher told my son to bring fruit jelly sandwich or cheese sandwich because we want to be considerate.
My son came home to tell me with no hard feelings.

UK-Riko

I think your son's class teacher is quite rude.  I think she is sick of her job & be lazy, that's why she didn't want to do any extra work to give the easter eggs to the class & write a note to the children handbooks about the eggs.

I think there is nothing to do with cultrual difference, it is only her personality & manner.  My daughter's teachers are also foreigners but I have never been treated so badly by her teachers.  

If she is racist, just tell her to go back to Germany asap.   

smlsml

Dear All,

I think she may have her reasons (students may be allergic to sweets, writing notes on the students' diary books takes her time away from the children, the kids who take school bus may have eaten the Jelly Beans before getting their parents' permission).  BUT she can present them (reasons or excuses) in a more friendly way. It's really frustrating to read her notes. I told my foreign colleague my experience. She commented that it was not racial discrimination. It's her personality and "she's a cow!", "making a mountain out of a molehill".

I don't feel my son (and myself) is welcome because she has called us to take him away from school for a few times. Why? Not because he's naughty, screaming or sick. It's just because he cried after getting some mosquito bites.

Fattymom

   terrible!

alexlui

Believe it or not? A bad teacher can teach your son a good lesson.  I want to share my son's experience with you.  When my son was studying in a nursery (Fanling Good Time), the class teacher was more or less the same as the teacher you have mentioned.  My son called it Bad Time.  After this horrible year, he loves every teacher (because all others are much better); he is obedient and willing to help his teachers.  

As you have mentioned before, the teacher is going to leave.  You may teach your son how to deal with this situation and talk to other parents at the same time to find out whether this kindergarten is worth to stay.  

Regards.

chuchuma

I agreed with alexlui.  My son will go to ESFTY this Sept although I have not much confidence on their teaching approach.

I think it is a good experience for them to deal with those tough, long face and unreasonable people.  This is a very good training for them on the interpersonal skill as we cannot ensure everyone they met or would meet in their life are generous, polite, reasonable, nice, friendly etc.  

Don't be so nervous, our kids can handle it.

Of course, if one day I meet with this "rude" guy, I will definitely make a complain on this attitude towards me.

smlsml

chuchuma 寫道:
I agreed with alexlui.  My son will go to ESFTY this Sept although I have not much confidence on their teaching approach.

I think it is a good experience for them to deal with those tough, long face and unreasonable people.  This is a very good training for them on the interpersonal skill as we cannot ensure everyone they met or would meet in their life are generous, polite, reasonable, nice, friendly etc.  

Don't be so nervous, our kids can handle it.

Of course, if one day I meet with this "rude" guy, I will definitely make a complain on this attitude towards me.

Dear Chuchuma and Alexlui,

Thank you for your response. First, I won't complain about her, because from the past experience, she will have all the 'reasons' to prove that she's doing right. Second, I also worry that she'll treat my son even worse. Third, the new headmistress is not very friendly either. Since she came last year, quite a number of teachers have left. At least another 3 will retire or go back to their home countries.

I agree that it's also a chance for my son to learn. But I believe no parents want to send their children to a school where they won't feel being loved by their class teachers, right? If she were just a teaching assistant, I wouldn't have felt so upset.

By the way, my son has been offered a place in the Christ Church Kindergarten (CCKG). In view of the bad experience in ESF and the potential big increase in its tuition fees, we may consider leaving. Any advice?

alexlui

<<By the way, my son has been offered a place in the Christ Church Kindergarten (CCKG). In view of the bad experience in ESF and the potential big increase in its tuition fees, we may consider leaving. Any advice?>>

Congratulations, your son must be very bright.  But CCKG is the gateway to local elite schools; many parents said that local elite schools are for very clever, very hardworking and obedient students.  If your son fulfills the requirements then I must congratulate you again.

Regards,

Newton

chuchuma 寫道:
I agreed with alexlui.  My son will go to ESFTY this Sept although I have not much confidence on their teaching approach.

I think it is a good experience for them to deal with those tough, long face and unreasonable people.  This is a very good training for them on the interpersonal skill as we cannot ensure everyone they met or would meet in their life are generous, polite, reasonable, nice, friendly etc.  

Don't be so nervous, our kids can handle it.

Of course, if one day I meet with this "rude" guy, I will definitely make a complain on this attitude towards me.

Hi chuchuma,

It is really another angle to seeing thing. I have been worrying to much about the new school I might switch my son to but after seeing your opinion, it seems that it is quite reasonable and I am kind of agree.

weeweewet

Dear smlsml,

What you really want?

Put your son in International school, he can enjoy school life, no pressure, going to school happily.  You only need to find a good after school Mandarin & Math. class.   It's a good choice for Working Mom!
But don't stay in the kinder again.   So many int'l kinder with good reputation.     

Going to local school, there are tons of homework everyday, lots of reading and memorizing of chinese characters & english words.  Can you handle it?  Seems you & your husband both have long working hours.

But, honestly, CCKG is a key to the famous local school.  Consider you got so many bad experiences in ESF kinder, why stay?  

I vote CCKG.  You have two years time to consider local or international again!

loupou

I sent both my kids to CCKG. It's a great school and they were very happy there.

However, for us, it did not prove to be a gateway to the best local schools. We had few points, no "old boy" status so we ended up having to use ESF.

Still, maybe if my kids Chinese was better, we would have succeeded.
smlsml 寫道:

chuchuma 寫道:
I agreed with alexlui.  My son will go to ESFTY this Sept although I have not much confidence on their teaching approach.

I think it is a good experience for them to deal with those tough, long face and unreasonable people.  This is a very good training for them on the interpersonal skill as we cannot ensure everyone they met or would meet in their life are generous, polite, reasonable, nice, friendly etc.  

Don't be so nervous, our kids can handle it.

Of course, if one day I meet with this "rude" guy, I will definitely make a complain on this attitude towards me.

Dear Chuchuma and Alexlui,

Thank you for your response. First, I won't complain about her, because from the past experience, she will have all the 'reasons' to prove that she's doing right. Second, I also worry that she'll treat my son even worse. Third, the new headmistress is not very friendly either. Since she came last year, quite a number of teachers have left. At least another 3 will retire or go back to their home countries.

I agree that it's also a chance for my son to learn. But I believe no parents want to send their children to a school where they won't feel being loved by their class teachers, right? If she were just a teaching assistant, I wouldn't have felt so upset.

By the way, my son has been offered a place in the Christ Church Kindergarten (CCKG). In view of the bad experience in ESF and the potential big increase in its tuition fees, we may consider leaving. Any advice?[/quote]

smlsml

Hi loupou,

Can you tell me more? I'm still struggling. All my friends whose children are studying/ studied in ESF before highly recommended me to let my son stay in ESF because his critical mind and analytical thinking can be developed, which is not likely to be achieved in local schools, probably not even in the elite ones.


Weeweewet said that I could choose to return to an international school 2 years later. But is that so easy? I was told that int'l schools are getting more and more popular. Some local Forms 2 or 3 students successfully got a place in King George V but couldn't catch up. It's not only the language proficiency that matters but also the way they think!

I don't think my husband and I can squeeze much time teaching my son Chinese (and other subjects). So, loupou, can you tell me more about your experience? I'm afraid we'll turn out going the same way.

loupou

My oldest got into a local girl's school in the general allocation for P-1 places. But she had a hard time and after 2 years we decided to try and switch her to an ESF. At the same time, my son was rejected by some famous boy's schools and wait listed by some nice DSS Cantonese medium school and we were a bit desparate. However, we were lucky that some places opened up in the ESF primary school near us and the kids were able to get in.

I had another friend whose mother-tongue is English and she sent her daughter to a local govt. primary school and after almost 4 years had to remove her from the school, because her grade's were not very good and she HATED school and was convinced at the age of 9 that she was stupid.

Her daughter had to wait several months to get a place and was out of school for a while, waiting for a place.

It's a real problem, with no clear solution. Some kids do OK in a good local school and do their homework at a bo-jaap centre. Others need tutors.

My eldest is now very happy in P5 at an ESF school and is doing well in  Mandarin (she has 3 days a week). My second child is also pretty happy, but not as good in Chinese, but I hope will overcome that.

smlsml 寫道:
Hi loupou,

Can you tell me more? I'm still struggling. All my friends whose children are studying/ studied in ESF before highly recommended me to let my son stay in ESF because his critical mind and analytical thinking can be developed, which is not likely to be achieved in local schools, probably not even in the elite ones.


Weeweewet said that I could choose to return to an international school 2 years later. But is that so easy? I was told that int'l schools are getting more and more popular. Some local Forms 2 or 3 students successfully got a place in King George V but couldn't catch up. It's not only the language proficiency that matters but also the way they think!

I don't think my husband and I can squeeze much time teaching my son Chinese (and other subjects). So, loupou, can you tell me more about your experience? I'm afraid we'll turn out going the same way.

play

Which ESF have 3 times Chinese?