我囝 2歲, 點解成日打人推人??點教佢 >?

萬樂豬

我囝一直有返 PLAYGROUP , 近依一個月, 我見佢成日推同學, 又偷偷踩人隻腳, 我已經鬧過佢無數次, 又試過打佢腳仔......

今日爸爸同佢去公園, 又係推個妹妹, 爸爸說推了4, 5次, 我買完餸搵佢地, 見到便大大力打佢手仔......同埋即場掉左佢枝玩具手槍....

佢當然喊啦, 但.......我真係唔知可以點教佢唔好再打人.....

仲有, 就係做錯事唔認, 講大話.......我又係唔知點教..唉.........好煩....

式柔

細細個就咁真係要嚴懲, 否則大個仲難教。

係會辛苦D, 努力呀! 做得好就讚, 做錯要忍心罰, 佢先會明白對錯既觀念!

motherotk

Hi,

Do you have any guess on why he is doing so?

Usually kids may have some reasons to exhibit behaviours , since 2 year old is stil difficult to verbalize himself, need parents to observe and understand more on why he has such behaviors?

原帖由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-5 22:23 發表
我囝一直有返 PLAYGROUP , 近依一個月, 我見佢成日推同學, 又偷偷踩人隻腳, 我已經鬧過佢無數次, 又試過打佢腳仔......

今日爸爸同佢去公園, 又係推個妹妹, 爸爸說推了4, 5次, 我買完餸搵佢地, 見到便大大力打佢手 ...

PhiloSophie

對子女都係要先小人後君子，唔罰佢好難改正

rchchan0505

原帖由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-5 22:23 發表
我囝一直有返 PLAYGROUP , 近依一個月, 我見佢成日推同學, 又偷偷踩人隻腳, 我已經鬧過佢無數次, 又試過打佢腳仔......

今日爸爸同佢去公園, 又係推個妹妹, 爸爸說推了4, 5次, 我買完餸搵佢地, 見到便大大力打佢手 ...

我記得你話個囝係敏感孩子，係咪呢個囝囝呀？
我以前聽個一個“心連心”ga 黃醫生講點樣幫助愛“攻擊”的孩子，不過我吾係好記得！最重要後幫孩子解決他的恐懼/憂慮 etc.  步驟大約是：
1.  停止他打人 （抱走他，但不需要罵他）
2.  先耐心了解他打人的原因 （可能是有些野刺激了他）
3.  教他用打人以外的方法解決自己的不快（最好role play 練習）
4.  與他預先講好，不可打人，如果打了，就會有乜後果（就係呢點我吾多記得，不過吾會係重罰果d）
5.  見佢小小野做得好，就狂讚（要讚得實質具體，吾係淨係話佢乖/叻）

而且，如果你個係敏感孩，仲要小心d

萬樂豬

係呀, 我個仔係敏感兒, 所以鬧佢, 佢個樣係會特別可憐同驚慌.......我有時好想忍住唔鬧, 因為怕會刺激佢敏感特性, 但發現唔得.........仲要愈來愈嚴重...

我留意到, 佢係好怕人地搶左佢既玩具咁, 若係公園, 佢見人一齊玩, 佢會推開人, 怕小朋友爭左...

另一原因, 個小朋友唔小心撞到亞囝, 亞囝居然會記仇到, 每次見到佢, 都要推他, 偷偷踩同學仔的腳.....

唉....我唔想以暴易暴, 我明白我阻止仔仔打人, 我便不應打他手仔......但......我每次同佢講道理, 佢總係答 " 知道, 唔再推人..." 但轉個頭又重做.........

婆婆說一定要嚴懲, 如果只說道理唔可行, 又話依家咁多港孩或咁多小孩經歷唔到挫折, 就係因為父母成日唔鬧唔打喎........

咁的確....近依 2 , 3 年...真係問題小孩嚴重左....

好煩好煩呀 !!

原帖由 rchchan0505 於 11-11-6 23:18 發表


我記得你話個囝係敏感孩子，係咪呢個囝囝呀？
我以前聽個一個“心連心”ga 黃醫生講點樣幫助愛“攻擊”的孩子，不過我吾係好記得！最重要後幫孩子解決他的恐懼/憂慮 etc.  步驟大約是：
1.  停止他打人 （抱走他，但不需要罵他）
2 ...

motherotk

Friend of mine has a kid similar to your kid's sitation. She tried play therapy with the kid, worked quite well in the following two ways:

1) help the kid to express his emotion in a accommodating way, so he is able to express through play.

2) help the parents understand the emotion of the kids, and know how to work with the kid's emotions.

3) help the kid and the mum to inerate in a relaxing way..

I saw the improvement of the kid. You can find play therapy session offered by lots of public and private services..., worth trying as you kid is very young, diffiuclt to express emotions in verbal way, play will be a good way to help him verbalized in kid's natural developmental pace..

Dont's ask me where, play therapy is very common in counseling and social service agencies, one nearby your home will have one.

原帖由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-7 00:00 發表
係呀, 我個仔係敏感兒, 所以鬧佢, 佢個樣係會特別可憐同驚慌.......我有時好想忍住唔鬧, 因為怕會刺激佢敏感特性, 但發現唔得.........仲要愈來愈嚴重...

我留意到, 佢係好怕人地搶左佢既玩具咁, 若係公園, 佢見人 ...

萬樂豬

謝謝你的意見呀, 我會嘗試下, 希望可以改善到....><

原帖由 motherotk 於 11-11-7 00:07 發表
Friend of mine has a kid similar to your kid's sitation. She tried play therapy with the kid, worked quite well in the following two ways:

1) help the kid to express his emotion in a accommodating wa ...

cherryeung2002

你好！希望下面的意見能幫助你。

1. 他最主要的問題是不會用言語上表達需要，令想做的事困在心中。不宜再
打他，因為他會心生恐懼，他更會抑壓他的需要，不敢表達，所以，沒有人明白他，他更生氣，真是惡性循環呢。正如你所說情況愈來愈差。

2. 當他打人的時候，應即時處理，我在你寫的文章中見到他爸爸說bb已打人4，5次。爸爸有沒有立刻處理？我認為可以立即帶他走，告訴他爸爸很傷心，因為他打人。在我的教學經驗中，家長什至可扮哭（原因是用小朋友的方法表達不快，小朋友會更易明白）

你說你曾跟bb說道理，又在事後拿了他的玩具，我看出你已用盡你所知的幫他，是一個盡責，有心教導他。

兒童在不同歲數有不同的發展，而2歲的小孩只能知道即時身在的情況，未能有完整的邏輯推理，他不能明白：因為我剛才打人，所以媽媽來了很生氣，後來更拿了我的玩具，而且媽媽之前說了不可打人呢。

可以只簡單說明：你打人，爸媽傷心，我們哭了，然後帶他走。

在家中，用一些手偶，爸媽，bb(他自己）和一個小朋友，介紹他們，請bb跟手偶握手，向bb上演一套好bb故事。讚故事中的bb和小朋友開心玩，沒有打人，爸媽開心，接著，爸媽貼貼紙在公仔bb身上。然後，請bb拿手偶，說我時bb,今次我跟小孩玩得很開心，沒有打人，爸媽開心。然後重演故事一次，飾演好bb.

平日多培養和讚賞，用獎勵計劃，儲星星，擺在bb可生到的高度，每天跟他回味一下為何父母會送星星給他。

稱讚最微小的進步，不要力求完美。





2.

motherotk

Sometimes, we as parents were really emotional when handling our kid's behaviors (same as me as well)

Play is a more relaxing way to communicate.

Or use other methods that work well for you and your kid. My kid love eating, we communicate the best when talk about "eating", about "food", and they tell me things that I did not know..

Try different ways, and find out the best ways that suit you and your kid, other people's ways are not "bible", but only for reference only..don't feel frustrated if you find other people's way not working, because every family is different and you can find your own way for your family.

原帖由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-7 00:16 發表
謝謝你的意見呀, 我會嘗試下, 希望可以改善到....><

rchchan0505

昨晚太趕，現在再作些補充：

我記得你話個囝係敏感孩子，係咪呢個囝囝呀？
我以前聽個一個“心連心”ga 黃醫生講點樣幫助愛“攻擊”的孩子，不過我吾係好記得！最重要後幫孩子解決他的恐懼/憂慮 etc.  步驟大約是：

1.  停止他打人 （抱走他，但不需要罵他）

2.  先耐心了解他打人的原因 （可能是有些野刺激了他）

3.  要明白他的感受，說些同理心的說話（e.g oh!你怕他搶你的玩具，所以你想先打走佢...你好擔心啊...）。同理心很有用，可以幫助佢釋放情緒，明白自己的感受，肯與你合作！我即使用在公園裡的小孩身上，也很見效。

4.  教他用打人以外的方法解決自己的不快（最好role play 練習，剛剛看到霍玉蓮的書，她教女兒用手掌包著拳頭來阻止自己打人。）

5.  與他預先講好，不可打人，如果打了，就會有乜後果（就係呢點我吾多記得，不過吾會係重罰果d）。會先與孩子夾好，用一些身體語言來提醒孩子不要打人（要有趣些，千萬不要用言語“你記得吾好打人”），而且比他3次機會，如果打了，就要離開公園。

6.  見佢小小野做得好，就狂讚（要讚得實質具體，吾係淨係話佢乖/叻）

打同鬧係最差ga辦法，吾好用呀！我見過一個5歲小朋友就係越打越差，已經自我放棄啦！

2歲仔係好多恐懼憂慮ga，因為佢未有能力處理情緒和環境，所以有trouble two，你也可看看“如何教養2歲孩子”呢類書。你看到他的行為，怕他變惡霸，但其實他很害怕、很無辦法、很激氣...

你試下呀，效果點樣講比我知呀！比心機呀

萬樂豬

前天, 我囝係搖搖馬到跌低了, 好少好少事啫, 點知佢走左 lego 枱到, 一手攞起 lego 想打落個小妹妹到, 比對方既工人姐姐制止了, 我忍唔住大聲鬧佢....真係好嬲.......

我就要佢刻番屋企, 無得繼續上堂, 同埋回家把所有玩具收起佢, 同佢講係懲罰, 直至佢唔再打人為止.....

其實佢只得 2 歲人仔, 佢完全明白架, 晚上佢爸爸回家, 以為無事, 居然偷偷攞玩具出黎, 仲話媽咪原諒左佢, 可以玩玩具......當然最後我唔比佢玩, 因為要堅持 ........

到今天, 佢又再遇到小妹妹, 佢無出手打佢, 但...做了打功夫既動作....握實 2 個拳頭, 好似兇人咁.....

真係嘔血, 但起碼, 佢知道....打人要受罰...

其實我咁樣正確嗎 ?? 我每日唸經咁日哦夜哦佢...提醒佢...希望有幫助佢打人念頭啦....

[ 本帖最後由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-9 00:44 編輯 ]

萬樂豬

曾經將佢 d bb 仔衫同鞋仔留起，好想生多個　ｂｂ, 但...發現....確實生一個細路, 係要好多好多心機, 耐性, 要 EQ 好高, 要識去管教.....我自問做唔到....

所以....已經被嚇怕了, 唔再生, D 衣服鞋仔比哂心好過 LU ......

萬樂豬

謝謝你分享, 我也試下用星星貼紙用作奬勵....及講下故事先, 其實我聽你咁講, 我都有扮喊同佢講, 媽媽好唔開心, 你又打人, 你打人媽媽好唔開心...嗚嗚, 佢反應係眉, 一樣唔開心, 但轉個頭又唔記得了.....

原帖由 cherryeung2002 於 11-11-7 07:18 發表
你好！希望下面的意見能幫助你。

1. 他最主要的問題是不會用言語上表達需要，令想做的事困在心中。不宜再
打他，因為他會心生恐懼，他更會抑壓他的需要，不敢表達，所以，沒有人明白他，他更生氣，真是惡性循環呢。正如你所說情況愈來 ...

萬樂豬

我係用睇圖書講比佢聽....點解要珍惜水呀, 點解可以浪費呀, 點解唔可以蝦人呀....我希望透過圖書令佢明白...不過, 成效不大, 但我會堅持, 因為...佢總有明白一日...

MOTHEROTK 先謝過你的分享 ^^

原帖由 motherotk 於 11-11-7 07:57 發表
Sometimes, we as parents were really emotional when handling our kid's behaviors (same as me as well)

Play is a more relaxing way to communicate.

Or use other methods that work well for you and your ...

萬樂豬

RCHCHAN : 你小朋友幾歲　？？我都知 2 YRS 開始反叛, 有一段時間叫佢行東, 佢行西, 叫唔聽....好左了, 就變到打人...

其實我好衰架, 我以鬧為多....因為好聲好氣同佢講, 佢就笑笑口, 嘻皮笑臉....唔理我....搞到我成日惡...><

我都好怕佢自我放棄...雖然現階段未係．．．．．＞＜

原帖由 rchchan0505 於 11-11-7 18:05 發表
昨晚太趕，現在再作些補充：

我記得你話個囝係敏感孩子，係咪呢個囝囝呀？
我以前聽個一個“心連心”ga 黃醫生講點樣幫助愛“攻擊”的孩子，不過我吾係好記得！最重要後幫孩子解決他的恐懼/憂慮 etc.  步驟大約是：

1.  停止他打 ...

motherotk

I think stories are good for kids, and you are doing good to him using stories for small kids as long as he is interested and willing to engage with you on the stories. My two kids also enjoy the stories, but they have their own preferences than my choice sometimes, using their stories to teach them emotions, feelings is pretty effective .

Try to get familiar with him on feeling words in children's langague, such as "嬲", "傷心", "唔明", "驚" etc..

Every time in handling "small kid" (not for bigger ones), I will use the following three steps: ABC

1) A-Address feelings = mom see that you are angry, or sad, confused etc...

2) B- The behavior is not allowable= this need to be stop as this will affect other people or hurt other people or destroy .....xx

c) C- Choice  for the child: = stop this behavior or  facing "punishment" e.g. time out or any other things that will made him stop

If he decided to choose the punishment, then you have to be consistent, the punishment can be time out, can be withdraw something from him..

You can modified with your own words to suit your family culture. I use this for kids below 6, and long term effect is good, don't expect short term outcome.

This has to be persistent and consistent in order to get a long term effect..

Outcome:
1) kids learn about emotions, more easier to verbalize, then as a mom you are able to identify what's happening behind these feelings.

2) kids know he has choice and learn to discipline through choices...

原帖由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-9 00:44 發表
我係用睇圖書講比佢聽....點解要珍惜水呀, 點解可以浪費呀, 點解唔可以蝦人呀....我希望透過圖書令佢明白...不過, 成效不大, 但我會堅持, 因為...佢總有明白一日...

MOTHEROTK 先謝過你的分享 ^^

...

[ 本帖最後由 motherotk 於 11-11-9 08:13 編輯 ]

samuel89

原帖由 萬樂豬 於 11-11-9 00:48 發表
RCHCHAN : 你小朋友幾歲　？？我都知 2 YRS 開始反叛, 有一段時間叫佢行東, 佢行西, 叫唔聽....好左了, 就變到打人...

其實我好衰架, 我以鬧為多....因為好聲好氣同佢講, 佢就笑笑口, 嘻皮笑臉....唔理我....搞到我成日惡...><

我都好怕佢自我放棄...雖然現階段未係．．．．．＞＜

其實你知唔知2 YRS 小朋友明唔明打人系唔"岩"既行為......我想你先同個仔溝通下佢"明唔明"先, 然後再同佢"商量"下點樣下次唔再"打人".....

motherotk

yes, totally agree with your point.

If parents hit them, they learned from you, using the same kind of strategies.

Kids learn from parents, so you should model for the kid how to handle conflicts and how to handle emotions.

原帖由 samuel89 於 11-11-9 12:24 發表


其實你知唔知2 YRS 小朋友明唔明打人系唔"岩"既行為......我想你先同個仔溝通下佢"明唔明"先, 然後再同佢"商量"下點樣下次唔再"打人".....

debbieip

AGREE!!

因為類似情況在我仔仔2-3歲是都有發生! 小朋友真你未必會明!
因為: 佢做錯野, 父母都有打佢!
所以, 佢覺得其他小朋友唔啱, 佢都有權/允許打佢地!

我仔仔都係敏感兒, 佢小時我打佢手仔, 佢即刻學識打番我! 所以我知道佢唔打得.....有D小朋友就算父母有用打來罰佢, 但佢地係唔會因此而去打人, 但有D小朋友就唔係。

建議樓主平日唔好經常提住佢打人的事, 唔好LABLE佢, 亦唔好打佢, 教佢用一個正確的方法解決問題! 例如, 如果下次發生同樣事情, 佢可以點做而唔係打人....當然你自己都要用一個正確的方法去解決問題, 而唔係打...好明顯, 你打完都係唔WORK....

講故事係一個好方法/ 平日多鼓勵佢同人分享/ 多用同理心對換立場, 講下如何有人咁做你會點? /平日讚下佢有禮貌友善等等, 媽咪見到好高興....

以上建議, 都唔會一時三刻有用, 要時間慢慢改善, 始終2歲幾都係好細...再者, 每個小朋友對不同的方法的接受性不同....我仔仔當年就對"讚"好WORK!   

原帖由 samuel89 於 11-11-9 12:24 發表


其實你知唔知2 YRS 小朋友明唔明打人系唔"岩"既行為......我想你先同個仔溝通下佢"明唔明"先, 然後再同佢"商量"下點樣下次唔再"打人".....

[ 本帖最後由 debbieip 於 11-11-9 15:24 編輯 ]