Is international shool suitable to shy & quiet children?

hangkeelong

MY son is 2.3 years old. He is still refuse to play with other children. He would not play the slide if some children are playing. He seems very nervous when there are many children in the playgroup, espeically the children are running or dancing.. However, when he is in a small group, he feels more comfortable and may answer the teacher question. He like to line up. He like to sit still and read books. He is very shy. Do you think it is more suitable to put him in local school? As I know, Local school is more concentrate to the exams. His memory is really good and he is very patient. I believe he can get a good mark on his study. He may feel more comfortable that he doesn't need to talk much. However, I want put him in international school because the ratio for teacher and children in international school is about 1:8. The teacher may have more time to care my shy child. Their teaching method is more active. May be my son would be more confident and talkative after this education. But the performance may not very good. It is the time to think about which stream should I choose. Please give me some advice. Thank you.

SYMAMI3

Dear hangkeelong,

My daughter was also very shy and quiet when she was at the same age of your boy. However now she is very active, talkative.  Last month, her only full mark in the monthly accessment is Confidence.  Kid changes very fast. You just cannot label him at his early stage.  I think it may not be a good idea to choose type of school based on it.

heratang

Symami3,

My daughter is also very shy. Does your daughter change after going to kindergarten? Is she going to local or international kindergarten?

Hera

Jackie

I hope I can express my own upbringing and see if it helps.  I was also a very shy girl and I always refused to play with other kids because I was shy and I feared I would lose.  I had local education.  I had very good marks (1st in class every year).  I had my Masters degree now in engineering management.  But I don't want to go to MBA studies because I know I would not do good because I can't speak up in class with more than 20 students (which counts a lot in MBA).  
So, for a smart kid, I think he would pick up materials eventually and good marks does not mean good future.  But if he is already smart, must train on confidence which will give the world to him combined with his smartness.  Whether international studies will give confidence to him is the issue you would have to consider.  The environment must encourage her to talk.  But he/she must feel that he/she fits in with the classmates in whatever language.
My husband does not have good marks.  But he has super confidence and can talk in front of people, so he can manage people with authority and ease.                                                                                      

hangkeelong

多謝你們的分享, 前几天帶我仔仔到朋友家玩,個小朋友一拖我仔仔的手, 他就大哭了半個鐘,最後因哭到賴尿, 要立刻返屋企換褲. 我真的很擔心, 他己見過那小朋友好几次了, 謮國際學校的小孩通常也比較活躍，玩得比較癲，擔心佢會便加驚其他小朋友，而且比其他同學dominate

heratang

hangkeelong,

你不如帶佢去d playgroup, 你可以報d比較local的, 和一些外國人教的, 你就可以比較一下你囝囝鐘意邊樣, 我都係這樣就選了國際學校給她.

Hera

ALAL

enrol international school that is more disciplined and stress on Christian learning like ICS

or else

traditional school that encourage children to speak up like Chan's Creative

hangkeelong

Thank you for your suggestion. My son has tried local playgroup and the playgroup hold by English native speaker. He likes the local one. He like to sit properly and listen to the teacher.
I've visited ICS and very impressed. I think this is a very good school.

SYMAMI3

Dear heratang,

My daughter is studying at HKPS KLN, she is in the int'l class.  The change in my daughter starts nearly at the end of KI, now she is at K2.  I think the school helps.  But it just happens naturally.   I think parents' support is very important.  Admit whatever your kid is, support him, even he is shy or behaves not at your expectation, don't express your anger or unpatience.  Try to let him know that you understand him, will always with him and support him.  Give chance for him to let go himself gradually.  Give encourage sometimes even candy or toys.  Hope advices are helpful.

heratang

SYMAMI3, thank you for your sharing. You made me feel better, because at least I know my daughter will change some day.

Yes, I agree that security for "shy' child is very important. I'm still learning to accept my daughter's everything without being angry of unpatient. I've read a book "Highly Sensitive Child", recommended by another BK mum. It said that most "shy" children indeed are highly senstive, not a kind of shy. They observe and think before acting. There are some suggestion for helping those children to cope with changes, such as towards kindergarten. It's a good book, available at public libraries.

Hera

ALAL

What is HKPS? thanks.

yyyy

I have a shy girl now studies in international primary school. A few years ago I also thought about whether I should change her study environment.  She was very welcomed by her local Kinder teachers and received some kinds of awards every year.  She was quiet, sit aside and saw others to play, obedience...I am sure if she studies in local school, she will get high marks as she really very sensitive about the marks.

Lastly, I changed her to international school, she showed her independence and got use to the new school life (she never cried when she went to school even in her age of 2). I was very touching when I saw her put up her hand to volunteer herself to stand in front of other classmates to sing and dance in her first year of Kinder.

Now, she enjoys to play with her classmates, speak out her opinions easily. She likes Show and Tell very much.  But she is still a shy girl. She doesn't like talking telephone but will listen when her classmates call her. She just enjoys what she likes to do that makes her usually plays with boys.

What's the good points to send these kinds of children to international schools:
1. provide balance environment to their shy attitudes
2. reduce their nervous about marks
3. enjoy school life more due to less homework and less exams.
4. more chances/encouragements to speak out
5. have more cares by their teachers
6. more acceptances for their indepentent/critical thinkings
7. more time to develop their hobbies
8. more chances to be compulsoried to learn swimming, dance, solo which need more confidence

hangkeelong

Dear yyyy,
Thank you for your sharing. Yes, I think the local school teachers like the children that is obedience, quiet and eager to learn. My son has had a interview at St. Catherine local kinder. The teacher asked me the weakness of my son. I told her that he is very shy and quite. My son can answer her all the questions. She said that is not a problem. We love the boys like this. I'm very afraid to teach the active children. They are very trouble. However, at the bottom of my heart, I really want the school help him to be a active child.

Dear haratang,
May I know where can I buy the book? It is chinese or English?

heratang

Dear hangkeelong,

The book "Highly Sensitive Child" is an English one. You can borrow it at public libraries. You can browse the catalogue first, and then request online to send the book to the library nearby. You can also buy it at amazon.com

Hera

kw_kung

大家好 !  我個小朋友又係非常怕醜嘅, 現就讀於一間國際幼稚園. 有一次俾我見到佢原來入課室後, 一個人坐在一角垂下頭沒人理會, 當時我覺得佢好可憐! 經了解後, 老師話我個小朋友每日都係咁, 老師係唔應該理佢, 應該由佢自己主動去活動, 但當群體活動時, 老師就會要求我小朋友參與. 你哋點睇呀?

Hilary

kw_kung 你講緊邊間呀？我知道九龍塘有一間又係咁做喎！讓那小朋友自己坐在一角！群體活動時, 老師都沒有要求我小朋友參與。我見到後有些反感，不過間學校老師好好，只不過可能唔試處理小朋友既情緒呢！所以，有些學校而家有請心理學家羅！

wewangwang

Kw kun,

我覺得有問題喎.你將小朋友放入國際班,無非想訓練佢自信心和獨立性,但我相信須要老師配合喎.如果無人理佢,常常自己躲在一角,課堂上俾D活躍嘅小朋友dominate 晒,咁點訓練到個你小朋友呢.學唔到野之餘仲會有反効果.我個小朋友又係比較怕醜嘅,但佢幼稚園老師就自動自覺將文靜嘅小朋友group埋做小組,等佢地有機會表達到.現在p.1老師都話佢會咁做,又叫我帶Ｄ新聞俾佢上堂報告,總之大家配合俾多D機會佢企出來做presentation.所以你不妨和老師認真傾傾,反映你的意見.

paramount

  International school teachers tend to be more supportive in the sense that they are prepared to look at the bright side of the kids. For instance, if a kid get 49% right, the teacher would praise the kid for achieving that 49% and encourage the kid to outperform himself next time.  It helps child to build up confidence.

kw_kung

Hilary, 係 Kingston.

wewangwang,

我唔知應該再點同個老師講, 其他當時情況係咁 :

其實校方係唔想家長進入課室, 並希望送完小朋友返學後馬上離開, 所以每次我都即刻離開. 有一日, 課室門沒有關上, 於是好奇望入去睇吓我小朋友mug, 只見佢行入一角但冇行番出嚟, 而我又唔敢行入去睇, 啱啱老師出嚟, 於是我就細細聲問佢我小朋友做緊mug, 咁老師就行入課室睇住佢, 我見個老師唔出嚟於是我行入課室, 見到佢獨自垂低頭坐在一角, 後來老師突然(都幾大聲)叫我小朋友:"XX, 你呀媽問你做緊mug 呀!", 嘩! 我小朋友即刻俾佢嚇一跳, 只係望住老師冇出聲, 跟住我同老師嘅對話 :
我     : 佢每日都係咁?
老師 : 係 !
我     : 咁會唔會叫佢自己攞嘢玩或同其他小朋友玩?
老師 : 唔會!
我     : 由得佢呀 ?
老師 : 係, 唔應該叫佢, 由佢自己主動去做.
我     : 我覺得佢好可憐呀!
老師 : (冇出聲)
我     : 我覺得佢好可憐呀!
老師 : (冇出聲)
期間個嬸嬸已拖咗我小朋友埋張枱同俾咗塊 puzzle 佢玩, 我為咗想鼓勵佢等佢冇咁驚, 於是見佢完成一片後就讚佢, 跟住老師就叫佢 : "同媽咪 say goodbye 啦!", 咁我就走喇.

Vaseline

kingston 給我的印象一向不錯, 想不到會發生這種事.
不如你約個 class teacher 認真傾一次,
問清楚他們對於你小朋友有什麼對策.

My son is now a talkative and self-motived 5-yr-old. But he was a shy kid when he's in K1. He enjoyed reading and playing alone.
Luckily, he met good teacher.  
She said" it happens to only child because they can't find a proper way to express themselves. Most kids at this age don't know how to share, and it's quite normal."

She assigned playmates for each kid in the class during free time. My son's playmate was a very talkative and caring girl.

She said kids grow at different speed and she also offered me many suggestions to help my son more open up himself. Like:
1) take him to various kinds of gathering with kids at his age, eg. parties, library/bookstore story time....
2) arrange regular after school playtime with 3 or 4 classmates, eg. once a months. Mommies would also have a chance to get to know each others.
3) practice "show and tell" at home with his favorite stuffs to build up his confidence before really doing it at school.
4) encourage him to order food in a restaurant.
5) mommy and daddy, as a model, make new friends in front of him. Say hi and bye to those whom you don't even know. (it's quite embarassing at the very first moment but you'll get used to it)   

I noticed his changes a few months later.