A luck to escape from a direct subsidy school

chanpa

My son studied P.1 in a private traditional school.  I found him having problems of losing his temper, losing his belongings, not tiding up his belongings, running out of the classroom and not doing part of the examination papers.
       I thought I should find another school for him.  
       With attractive advertisement, I changed him to study P.2 in a direct subsidy school.  This school is a through-train school with two teachers a class and thirty pupils a class.  Besides, this school has a psychologist.  I guessed that my son would have better caring in this school and my son might suffer from certain kinds of disabilities.
        In the first term, no conduct was given.  But in the second term, D+ was given to my son.  At that time, he was diagnosed to suffer from a mental problem and started to take drug.  The teacher isolated him by arranging him to sit alone at the back corner of the classroom.  After hot discussion, my son was arranged to sit alone at the back of the middle classroom.  My son had no academic problem.  In the last term, he was given C in conduct.
        Before the start of P.3, I discuss his problem with the P.3 classteacher as well as submitting the letter of a Psychiatrist for sitting in front of the classroom.  Though the school had serious staff conflict in the summer of 2007, I was not aware of this and let my son study P.3.
        In P.3, the school system was changed.  There was only one classteacher in P.3 and the pupils of P.3 and P.4 were split into four groups under the care of four teachers.  Though the SGT and the classteacher informed me of two disturbing behaviour arising among my son and other classmates, they had no follow up action (just informing me).  I just took notice on these incidents.  I also gave a recommendation letter from a Psychologist of how to handle my son at school to the classteacher.
        Again, my son was given D+ in conduct in the first term.  I appealed to the head principal immediately.  I requested to have a case conference.  
        The school was very protective and just informed me of no change of conduct.  The headmistress told that the teaching staff had a prior meeting and she listed out his misbehaviour at school.  They just found justification on conduct of D+(focusing on his weakness but not his strengthens).  I was very angry.  Someone had to trigger my son such as asking his nickname.  Later, this case was known to Educational Psychologist of Education Bureau.  In the second term, the school gave him C- in conduct.  In the last term, the school gave him C+ in conduct.
        Definitively, I should change another school for my son.  I wrote the true facts to some principals.  With his good academic performance but poor conduct, only one kind and concern principal accepts him to study P.4.  My son plays the piano in grade four and gets second divison in the final Olympic Mathematics Competition against Hong Kong and Mainland students.
         I am lucky to find a suitable school to start anew for my son.

pamam

chanpa,
my son has asperger, just wonder what's your son's diagnosis, would you mind pm me about which school you son has switched into? I think I know which school your son has 'escaped' from!
pamam

pumbaa

Your topic has some problems that it stereotypes ALL DSS.

You may frankly tell us the school name.

原文章由 pamam 於 08-7-17 08:46 發表
chanpa,
my son has asperger, just wonder what's your son's diagnosis, would you mind pm me about which school you son has switched into? I think I know which school your son has 'escaped' from!
pamam ...

yhma

Could you PM the DS school name to me.
Thank you.

mingming04

My son has the same problem and i want to find a school that suits for him

mingming04

My son has the same problem and i want to find a school that suits for him
e-mail : [email protected]

3lamma

I believe all schools don't have enough resources for SEN students.  Even they have resources for SEN, they might spend it to hire another TA to help out the school matters, not specifically on SEN kids. Almost all teachers (perhaps only attend a course) don't have any training or even knowledge in dealing with SEN kids.  I helped a P.4 boy with SEN to have an exam after school.  I asked him 'How old are you?' He said '關你屁事!'.  As I have knowlege in this field and I understand that perhaps he did not mean what he said(he just can't stop talking).  However, the school insisted that that boy should apologize to me and his mom was asked to see me with his son and the panel.  I feel very sorry for his mom because he said terrible things to his mom too, '你為什麼這個面口? 是否未出糧? ' etc...we remained silence for so long.  The panel would not let him go until he said sorry.  

As parents, it's really '有苦自己知'.  I hope chanpa's kid is happy after he's switched school and schools have more communication with parents. It's also hard for teaching staff to understand all the characteristics of SEN: asperger, autism, ADHD, dylexia etc in a class of over 30 pupils.

[ 本文章最後由 3lamma 於 08-7-18 13:47 編輯 ]

chanpa

On 19.1.2008, my wife and I saw the classteacher to collect the first term assessment report.
Oh No!  What happen!  Why D+?  I am extremely shocked.
The classteacher said," This is the decision of the conduct meeting from the headmistress and the teachers involved.  I think your son's conduct grade may be higher."
Nothing I could do but left the classroom.
I was very angry.  After all my things done in this weekend, I write a letter to the principal and the teachers committee at mid-night of 20.1.2008.
The letter was as follows.

Dear XXX, the Principal
21.1.2008
& the teachers committee,
        Appeal for amendment of my son’s conduct

Thank you for your assessment on my son during the first term.
In early September 2007, I approached for setting individual education profile (IEP) for my son, XXX, as he is diagnosed to have suffered from XXX.
The case was then known to Ms XXX, SGT.
So far, I did not hear serious problems from my son and classteacher.
However, my wife and I are shocked by his conduct D+.
There should be some measures among teachers and parents helping my son before his getting such a miserable conduct which seriously affects his personal growth, self-confidence, friendship and trust towards classmates and teachers and presentation towards outside parties.
             During this term, my son attended an intensive social group two-hour once a week run by Ms XXX, a psychologist, at XXX from October to December.
Ms XXX also wrote a letter of recommendation and suggestion to the school authority of how to deal with my son.
This letter was given to the classteacher in October.
             Once again, I appreciated Ms XXX, his classteacher, to have given much encouragement and support to my son.
Yet, did other teachers and school members know my son’s situation, characteristics of his disabilities and know how to deal with my son?
In fact, my son has disabilities that certain part of his brain is lost, resulting in a short attention span and weak mood control.
In other words, his inhibition ability is low.
The best treatments are medication and behavioural modification.
I spoke to my son at once and he told me that he was unhappy by other classmates’ noise and intentionally speaking nickname (XXX).
He then lost his temper by throwing his school bag and things and crying in the first two months.
Fortunately, he has been making some improvement since November not throwing his belongings and trying his best to hide his tears.
There should be a cause of his outburst of temper, not just viewing the end result of his losing temper, focusing on his weaknesses but not his strengthens.
Someone must involve in his conflict.
             For better handling of my son, may I request a case conference with teachers concerned to discuss his conduct, the strategies of teaching my son, IEP, to foster an effective communication channels among teachers and parents, and to enhance ways of co-operation.
In fact, my son is a straight, simple-hearted and lovely boy and listens to explanation.
              I object that his conduct is terribly given D+.
I trust your school and seek for all possible solution.
It is unfair to justify my son with a normal standard.
              For case conference arrangement, I should be grateful if you would contact me at XXX in your early convenience.

                                                           
To be continued.....

chanpa

原文章由 3lamma 於 08-7-17 15:24 發表
I believe all schools don't have enough resources for SEN students.  Even they have resources for SEN, they might spend it to hire another TA to help out the school matters, not specifically on SEN ki ...

I share with you (有苦自己知).  At first, I do not understand what happen on my son.  Is he disobey or uncontrol?
I try all methods; shouting, beating, losing temper, crying myself...  Now I learn to be patient and speak softly with steps by steps.  Importantly, I forcast the results of his action and making positive reinforcement.  I express much thanks to social workers of BGCA and Heep Hong Society, psychologists of Heep Hong Society, Project Aspire and Chinese University, two psychiatrists, his phonics teacher, Professor of Chinese University and an occupational therapist of Kowloon Hospital.  Two psychologists also write recommendation letters to explain against the conduct of D+.  There is a team of professionals working with me.  
In fact, my son gets prizes of Mandarin, piano and Mathematics outside for this miserable school.  Yet, this miserable school posts the prizes on its website.  How many prizes the school gets.  In fact, it is the effort of all parents but not the school itself.   

When I lose my temper, I try to control myself.  I speak to myself that I am the only one in the world to help my son.

friedawc

原文章由 chanpa 於 08-7-18 22:13 發表


I share with you (有苦自己知).  At first, I do not understand what happen on my son.  Is he disobey or uncontrol?
I try all methods; shouting, beating, losing temper, crying myself...  Now I learn t ...

Oh chanpa

You are such a nice papa. I read your letter and totally
agree with your statement and reasons. However, I really don't understand how come most of the principals have
not concerned and considered an individual student's
abiltiy and the impact of their behaviour. They only
concern the student's acedamic result or any referrals.
Luckily at least there is one principal who did concern and
he/she is a real professional educator. Never give up and
I am sure you son will become better and better with your
selfless love and assistance. Wish you all happy forever!

eemay

Hi! Chanpa,

I understand how frustrated and stressful you are when facing the problem occured at school. Your boy was sensative to noise and serious to other kids making jokes on him. It's understandable. However, the school staff only concerned your son's reaction but failed to understand him,and educate other classmates.

Hope your son can have a good start at the new school. The Headmaster of this school must be a real educator who desired our repect.

You are such a supportive parent and I believe your son will grow up with happiness.

God bless!

chanpa

In the morning of 21.1.2008, I gave the appeal letter to the head principal.  The classteacher did not know the progress.  In late January 2008, this head principal gave me the interim reply.
In February 2008, a case conference was held.  At first, I expected those in the conduct meeting would appear.  At mid-night before the case conference, I prepared the information of how to handle my son's disabilities.  I am open-minded to share and just want to find a solution.
The case conference was full of fire and started at 3:30pm.  The headmistress of the primary section chaired the meeting.  The secretary, SGT, the classteacher, 輔導主任, my wife and I attended the meeting.  The headmistress said that the case conference would be ended at 4:00pm as the headmistress and teacher staff would have another meeting at 4:00pm.  The headmistress did not respect us because both of us took a leave for this meeting.
In the meeting, the headmistress first pointed that SGT and the classteacher had phoned to us as the communication channel.  After that, the headmistress sounded that the teaching staff had a prior meeting and listed out my son's misbehaviour one by one as reported by other teachers.  I consider this was minor such as walking away in the PE lesson.  The most important two incidents were as follows.
1) my son screamed in the classroom and other classmates screamed back.  My son said that the classroom was noisy.  The teacher and other classmates said that there was no loud noise.  Might my son be sensitive?  The classteacher considered that the classmates and my son played together in the later stage.  
2) My son lost his temper and used a ball pen to draw on his school bag.  Every part of the school bag was drawn with lines.  I guess that my son needed at least fifteen minutes to do such behaviour on all the surface of the school bag.  SGT did not stop my son drawing on the school bag but allowed him to continue to draw.  Why did not SGT stop my son's behaviour but SGT just let him destroy the school bag?  My son told me that the student who ranked the first in next class said the nickname of my son.  My son lost temper as he thought that such a good student also said nickname on him.
Lastly, the headmistress concluded that D+ was the final decision without amendment.  I exploded and was very angry.  I suggested that you should give D+ with the explanation of my son's disabilities.  This headmistress rejected as it was 個人私穩.
Then I also suggested to report the range of conduct that those who involved in the conflict.  The headmistress replied that she had dealed with these students.
At this moment, I was very angry and wrote on my paper that 閉門做車, 離晒譜, 岐視 to calm me down.  
The classteacher kept silent.
The headmistress instructed the classteacher to write down what she talked with me. (白紙黑字 black and white)
輔導主任 reported that she found my son could control himself despite his disability.  This woman was so powerful that she opposed the opinion of psychiatrist and psychologist.
SGT said "Is D+ so important?"
At 4:00pm, the headmistress claimed to have another meeting with other teaching staff.  They did not respect us who wanted a solution of helping my son.  They left the conference room, leaving the classteacher to talk with us.  SGT came to help the classteacher and the classteacher went out.  SGT talked for a while and left.  We waited until about 6:00pm and SGT came to tell us that the headmistress and teaching staff would not see us today.  I insisted on having another meeting two weeks later.  SGT promised and we left school.
Absolutely, my son needed to change another school as this school was not loving, not supportive and not 包容 but rather fault finding to justify their wrongdoing.

I try to be calm down and think my action plan......

Parcoleung1234

我很明白你的感受，但這個社會就是這麼不公平。我曾經有位朋友的兒子，他的遭遇比你更可憐。他所讀的小學有自己我直屬中學。他每年都考第一，獲獎無數，但他有過度活躍症，所以他的直屬中學以他的品行太差為理由拒絕收他，因為他在小學期間常常搗亂，影響其他同學，遭其他家長嚴重投受。最後他祇好把兒子送到外國升學。
我這位朋友在學業上和事業上都有很出色的表現，所以他不太接受現實，他常常被約到學校見老師和校長，他覺得學校針對他自己的小朋友。我常常勸告他叫他不要太介懷，我還提議他幫自己的兒子轉到一些Special School，但他太愛面子了，他覺得自己的兒子是醒目仔，所以他真的害了自己的兒子。
這件事已發生在10多年前，可能現今的教育制度已改進不少，但自私的人實在太多，試問有幾多家長能接受自己的小朋友在上堂時常常受某一位同學搗亂而不投訢?
最後，我真的希望你的小朋友能真真正正找到一所適合他的小學。

原文章由 chanpa 於 08-7-20 03:38 發表
In the morning of 21.1.2008, I gave the appeal letter to the head principal.  The classteacher did not know the progress.  In late January 2008, this head principal gave me the interim reply.
In Febru ...

breefan

Did your son study in HKUAPS?

Charlotte_mom

PLEASE唔好亂估, 港同成績表根本無conduct呢一樣野

原文章由 breefan 於 08-7-20 06:50 PM 發表
Did your son study in HKUAPS?

lingchuling

我都很想知是那間學校，請問可否告知是香港，九龍或新界，因為９月要選小學了，因我都怕選錯這類學校，因為剛剛去了一個小學的暑期活動，我都看見一位老師對於一些比較活潑的小朋友出現不耐煩的反應，請問那位好爸爸可否PM我告知是那間小學

Thanks a lot.

chanpa

My son does not study at HKUAPS.

多謝大家支持，大家的眼睛是雪亮的。

BillieBug

chanpa,

Really feel sorry to learn how that school ill-treated your son and hope he can study in a caring and supportive school in the new school year!
btw, can u pm me the name of that DSS school? I will not recommend to my sister's son who will soon apply for P1.

Thanks

原文章由 chanpa 於 08-7-20 21:15 發表
My son does not study at HKUAPS.

多謝大家支持，大家的眼睛是雪亮的。

iwff

chanpa,

希望你小朋友在新學校很快適應, 有更好的成長。我估計你小朋友讀的DSS School 是在沙田的。

iwff

原文章由 BillieBug 於 08-7-20 23:48 發表
chanpa,

Really feel sorry to learn how that school ill-treated your son and hope he can study in a caring and supportive school in the new school year!
btw, can u pm me the name of that DSS school?  ...