傾下==> 有冇人後悔到外國留學或移民

Nillie_Mami

Xother,
yeah! at 2000 and 2001, the temperature in Melbourne ran up to 42C.. and many elderly were found dead at home..

In NYC, weather much worse than in Melbourne.. at least, in winter, Melbourne won't snow.

that is good, enjoy life in Canada. I don't think that kids in HK will be happier than our kids. especially when I think about those 中中嘅學生... 做晒governement 嘅白老鼠..
I don't even dare to think about it.

Amanda... was recommended by the coming school( she will attend K this year but teacher would like her to skip 1/2 year of pre K and 1/2 year of K and go strick to Grade 1 this Sept) we refused. we only agree to let her take the GATE, if she is clarified as gifted, this Sept, she will attend the special school, even not, her coming school teacher is going to give her special care (as the teacher got children like Amanda). she is a trouble maker.. but she is only 4.5 years old, we wish to keep her in her soical group.. All her classmates are older than her, but she is happy.
now she can count up to 2008, ２位加數減數, 讀story, 作story..  under her requested, we finally set up her piano class from last saturday and we bought her the very first piano today. I hope, that will help her to use up some of her energy beside her music class, ballet class and gym class after school.
I already felt gulity that I went back to work and I can't spend more time for her.

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-17 05:16 PM 發表
Nillie,

My nanny has 6kids and it is AUD 3000mth for just welfare plus free university. Shesaid she has such a great life in Australia but the skin problem isreally the reason to take them back to Ca ...

xother

Nilliemami,

wow...I really didnt pay attention and 42C is really high! How you survive those days? Did you have air conditioning? I guess New York wont get that hot, right?

Yes, I do enjoy my life as I have a very good husband. I am just a simple C9 and happy to see him having a fair chance to develop his career here. Regarding on school in HK, I dont think they are that bad and I wont say kids are not happy in HK. It sounds like "Moon is better in western world"! What I see about being HK kids, parents are competiting to get into good schools and kids are suffered because of that. Other than that, HK kids are well train work under pressure and their brain can think very fast  if compare to western kids.

You mean Amanda taking the GATE? Is it suppose for older kids? I am not sure if it is common in western world or schools are lack of funding, they do put kids into higher grade regardless. ie, K1 kids mix with G1. G2 mix with G3. I dont think it is a problem for Amanda to get to G1, especially if she is ready to that level. You mentioned she has given too much problems, what is it? Talk too much? Disturb other kids?

Just wonder are you going to teach Amanda Chinese, I mean writing?
For school, do you have good school in your area? I dont know anything about your area, but it sounds very remote to me, is it? Is it like Discovery Bay in HK which you need to take ferry? Have you ever thought to move out in order to find a better school?

[ 本文章最後由 xother 於 08-3-19 15:19 編輯 ]

xother

kidslittle1,
Not everyone has positive thinking like you and that's why this topic was formed. I can see many people do regret but they just not posting here.
Yes, it is a decision we made in life and there is no point to regret.




章由 kidslittle1 於 08-3-19 09:37 AM 發表
有冇人後悔到外國留學或移民???

I finished my study in Canada a long time ago, but then I got married and settled in the UK.  No, I don't regret.  I don't think I studied abroad in the past or have imm ... [/quote]

Nillie_Mami

Xother,
I don't know anything about the GATE, Amanda was recommended by the catholic school teacher, so we took her to take the exam, GATE is started from 4 years old, and Amanda turns 4 at Jan, so the teacher suggested her to take it. We lived in the best school zone in Staten island(the reason why we buy this house), so sure no problem to find a school for Amanda, but my husband insisted to send her to catholic school because they will be very strict and lots of homework.
42C is very hot, but if you stay at home with air cond. or go to the beach, that is really a good relief in melbourne.
In new york, at summer time, it always hit 100F.. and really feeling always over 100F.. but I found that  is fine for me and my kids.. Amanda loves summer, and she always have her tanned skin.. haha.. because she runs outdoor all the time.
Although it is hot in Melbourne and NYC, but it is not humid as in hk.. so that is fine.. how about in Canada?
Amanda sometimes got timeout at school .. haha.. because she plays too WILD.. she even able to knock the big kids down.. because she is big.. like on Monday, she was a good job girl in the morning, and she got the chocolate from teacher, but at music class, she played too wild, she got timeout lor.. haha she will tell us everything what happened at school, she even told me, glad that she ate the chocolate at play time, she was afraid, teacher may take it back from her.. you see.. a 4.5 years old girl will tell you something like that..
about teaching her chinese.. I am not good with that.. I am really bad with chinese.. I don't want to be a bad model for her, she better learns it when she goes to HK at summer time. anyway, she only interested in speaking cantonese and mandarin (learn from the program Kai lan online), she doesn't interest in the word.. I am not going to push her.
I believe in Montessori's method, Amanda should learn everything from experience, chinese is not that important for her right now. she is only 4.. let her manage her Russian, spanish and English.. chinese is just something for her to talk to her grandparents, and show off in front of her little friends at school.

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-19 02:09 AM 發表
Nilliemami,

wow...I really didnt pay attention and 42C is really high! How you survive those days? Did you have air conditioning? I guess New York wont get that hot, right?

Yes, I do enjoy my life  ...

kidslittle1

xother,

Yes, I do think my thinking is so positive.  In my opinion, it's our own decision we made, so we should not regret what we have done.  I was lucky that my parent got a house and could take care of me when I was studying in Canada in the past.  So, I did enjoy my studying life over there.  

On the contrary,  I dislike the education system in HK now(teach in Chinese if the students can't be accepted by English school).  It seems that many parents are so nervous to apply for good schools for their children.  So, pressure and competition are coming up.   I think kids and parents get so much pressure too.  Also, I can't stand for air pollution in HK.  My sister's children who live in HK always go to see doctors because of flu or other diseases.  She got few kids, so she said seeing doctors so many times really make her lose much money.  I know that some of my friends are also saving money for their children to study abroad in the future too.  Sometimes, it's quite interesting that one of my friends regretted to stay in Canada in the past and then she went back to HK after her study.  When she is in HK now, she starts to regret why she came back to HK and plans to go back to Canada again in the future.  It just likes a cycle.  Maybe, she will regret again later.  

[ 本文章最後由 kidslittle1 於 08-4-17 07:36 編輯 ]

xother

kidslittle1,
I am not sure what is your reason to migrate to UK, but I think if you have to give up all your money or career and found out the life is not easy at overseas, then you may look back and question why you made such a decision. Yes, it is our decision but if all people keep saying how great to live overseas and how wonderful to bring up our children, then more people will fall in the trap. Moon is exactly the same whenever you look! There is no perfect land to live or study and the best place to live is the place you can get your career and made money.


Nilliemami,
Just wonder if you have second opinion from other teacher at other school? I can understand if you test a Grade 3 student but what you can do for a 4yrs old girl ? Is it too early to test? I google it and it said the best is grade 3 or 4 when kids are more developed and tend to be more accurate.

Vancouver is a cold place, but it is the warmest among Canada. We do have snow about twice a year and summer is about 80F or less. It is rare to see house has aircon and summer time has very long long sunlight, from 4am to 9pm and very low humidity..about 50%.

Is it normal for kids to knock out each other in States? I asked my daughter and she said no one ever fight in school. Yes, kids do got time out but usually it is because they do some naugty thing...ie, disturbing others while in the class or talk too much. Just wonder what did you say to her about being time out by teacher? Will you correct her for such behavior?

Regarding learning Chinese. I guess your Chinese is not bad at all. If you can teach her Chinese as same as how you teach her on English and maths, then she may already writing letter to grandparent!

I saw you mention Amanda very often, but how about your son? I guess he must be very active at this age, right? Does Amanda like to knock him down as well?

Nillie_Mami

Kidlittle1,
100% agree with you.. if you chose to study abroad, should better not feeling regret, personally, I have no regret at all.. it is wonderful life experience.

Xother,
I don't really care what they did to Amanda for the GATE, that is the exam from the Department of Education, if the expert believes that 4 years old can be able to show the talent, therefore they have the exam for them.
For some child with mis-behavior, you gonna time out them, for some, you need to ignore them.
For Amanda, we talked to her, why she did that, and is that right for her to do so. she is 4.5 years old, when she has time out, she knows she made a mistake.
When she knocks the others down, she doesn't even know she did it.. haha.. she certainly knock down Gabriel all the times at home.. then, she will give him a hug and kiss.. as she doesn't mean to.. she is a very sweet girl with a very warmth heart.. therefore, her friends love her so much at school. Amanda doesn't fight with anyone.. she doesn't need to. their teachers are very strict, no kid dare to make big trouble.. only Amanda.. sometimes.. she thinks too fast and advance, and she may do something different from the others..
my lil one is still young, not causing any trouble.. compare with his sister, he is a really normal child..
Sure.. every one said that I do care more about Amanda.. because she reaches school age. that is normal.
once my lil one reaches the school age.. it will be his turn.
both of babies are 75% of my life.. (I leave 25% for my hubby la).. therefore, in real life.. I set up play group every month, sometimes every 2 weeks, invite most of the BK mom from new york and new jersey to come and share our experience.
Chinese.. not an issue for Amanda right now.. I would like to wait until she interested in.
nowaday.. after she finished her homework, she needs to practise piano.. and she is so happy about it.. 2 more songs to practise before next class..
when a child learns something which she loves it and interests in.. you can see.. it is a pleasure. not like the kids in hk.
wanna see Amanda's funny movie.. hee hee.. after she learns ballet for 6 months, we took an video.. which made us laugh with tears.. haha

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-20 01:46 AM 發表
kidslittle1,
I am not sure what is your reason to migrate to UK, but I think if you have to give up all your money or career and found out the life is not easy at overseas, then you may look back and  ...

kidslittle1

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-20 14:46 發表
kidslittle1,
I am not sure what is your reason to migrate to UK, but I think if you have to give up all your money or career and found out the life is not easy at overseas, then you may look back and  ...

Xother,

The reason why I have settled in the UK is because my husband lives in the UK from the time when he was few years old and he has a job which he works for a long time here.  Yes, I gave up my career in HK and came here.  I still remembered I came here during the period of SARS and I could occupy three seats on a CX flight.  Yes, some people went to other countries and they will not regret but some will regret.  It depends on their real situation or ability of fitting in another place.  BTW, do you have any regret at all?   I know that Canada is a competitive place.  One of my friends who immigrated to Canada with her family in 1988.  Her sisters and brothers can work for good companies but she couldn't find a decent job there.  Later, she got some mental problem.  I felt sad to know that she wanted to commit suicide one day and she told me she is on treatment now.  Last time, I asked her about any regret of her immigrated decision.  She answered me: NO, it's because Canadian government treats her illness very well.  
My relative owns a restaurant in Canada.  There were only few that kind of restaurants twenty years ago, but now that kind of restaurants are everywhere in Canada.  Don't you think it's a competitive world???  In order to survive, you have to compete with others.
Yes, there's no perfect land in the world.  Not only such kinds of things happen in overseas, but also happen in HK too.  I know you love HK.    I also love the past HK but now I love HK lesser than before.  Some unhappy things happened when I went back to HK last year.  1.  I visited my relatives in HK last year for one month.  My relatives moved to another place where I didn't really sure the location.   I was pushing my daughter's pushchair and asked two people about the directions, but they ignored me and run very fast away...just looked like I was invisible.  At that time, I thought why they were so impolite.  Then I phoned my relatives on the street and talked very loudly that I couldn't find where she lived.  At last, I thought an old woman heard what I said.  She suddenly talked to me and showed me where the direction was.  I talked with her and she told me that some people asked for directions and those people who answered them got unconscious and lost all their belongings.  It's unbelievable as I was pushing an infant's stroller at that time.      2.  When my sister, me and my daughter who I was holding her stroller in a cabin of a MTR.  Suddenly, a woman who spoke Mandarin walked from another cabin came to us and asked my sister to let her take my daughter's photo (she thought my sister was my daughter's mother, btw, my sister doesn't know much Mandarin).  I answered her NO (in Mandarin)...but she kept asking my sister to let her take photo and said my daughter looked like her daughter and she wanted to take my daughter's photo to let her daughter had a look.  Then, I was very angry and said NO.  She left and walked to a group of women. Around seven or more people I think.  They all looked very angry at us.  I talked to my sister and she said they might be the group of people who cheated people about what wrong of my daughter and asked for money to buy medicine.   Other than that, I don't think anyone will let a stranger suddenly comes and takes a photo of you.  Also, my baby was facing my sister's legs, how could the person saw my daugther's appearance.  It's really a question.  3.  When my sister, me and my daughter travelled to Tung Chung, we walked on a pedestrian path and there were a lot of people walking.  Not a quiet place.  Suddenly, three guys who looked like mixed walked facing us and half surrounding us and stopped.  They didn't say anything but looked like a bit scared.  My sister and me were talking but we were very sensitive to things.  My sister was very scared, then she walked through the gap very fast and I also strongly pushed my baby's stroller faster and ran away from another gap.  When I looked back later, I found that they stopped at that place and looked at us from that distance.  It seemed that there was a forth guy walking around that area too.  I think they thought that we were talking on the road and couldn't concentrate what they would do.  One day, when we bought something from a jewellery shop and I talked about that.  The shopkeeper said they may be some pickpockets from Xinchiang.  Some of them looked like mixed.  

Maybe, some people may not have such experience but I am really unlucky that I only stayed for one month in HK and such things happened to me.  Anyway, I am lucky that nothing really bad happened during that period.  Thanks god.

[ 本文章最後由 kidslittle1 於 08-4-17 07:43 編輯 ]

kidslittle1

原文章由 Nillie_Mami 於 08-3-21 00:24 發表
Kidlittle1,
100% agree with you.. if you chose to study abroad, should better not feeling regret, personally, I have no regret at all.. it is wonderful life experience.

Xother,
I don't really care wh ...

Nillie_Mami,

Yes, studying abroad was a great experience to us.  Actually, people like to have a challenge and get more experience in their life should have a try.  Study abroad is not a bad idea in my point of view.  As for immigration or not, it depends on which living style would suitable to them most.  It's really hard to say good or bad at all, but I disagree what Xother said it's a trap.  Not that serious.  Ha!

xother

kidslittle1,
I dont regret to migrate as it is my husband's dream to come to Canada. I just accompanish his dream and be his supporter. Let me tell you my story. I met my husband when we were in Australia back in 1997 and I left him after graduation. He came to HK after 6mths and we get married. He is Indian and he has hard time to get a job as well as  daily life due to racism against him. Anyway, I agree to migrate as I can see him suffered in HK. I didnt choose Australia as I dont like there and appreciated he didnt against my wish, however, till now he still miss Melbourne!! We have no extend family in Canada and the worst, my husband never been to Canada. Anyway, we came with my daughter with 4 big suitcases and stay at the hotel when we landed. My daughter was 10mths old at that time and we struggle to survive. Imagine how hard to travel with a baby and we were totally new to Canada.

Once we settle down and rent a place, we sent out thousand of resume. Very lucky, I got a job within three month and my husband got it in 4mth..next problem, find a daycare. Everyday is a racing day for us as we have no car!

Competitive? It is competitive every where. The worst thing about migration is no one recognised your qualification and working experience. We were just lucky to get a job and move up our life, otherwise, we may be the one complaining how bad to migrate to Canada...hahaha!

May be it is too harsh to use the word "trap" but why people migrate? Please except yourself as you have no choice(I mean it is normal for you to join the husband due to his job situation). Many of them will say..."doing that because of my children". Many of them are not familiar with the life to live overseas. Most of them are middle to higher class and they cannot adapt to new country as there are too much misconception as well as sterotype about western education.

If I describle life is a journey, you are very lucky as you have the map already and you just need to follow the way. There are many people has no map like me and we have to find our way out.



Nilliemami,

Just wondering if I understand correctly about being "knock down", is it similar to wrestling which Amanda pyically  push down another boy or girl? Will that hurt? And she only got time out for such behavior?

I have a 10mth son and 5yr old daughter and very often, I feel guilty because I dont spend enough time with my school age daughter! I thought the younger cause more trouble while older one can understand what is right or wrong. I do think you really favor Amanda as she is smarter. Just wonder when did you realised her talent?

From what I learn from your posting, I feel that Amanda is quite busy. She has to go to a private school which is very strict and lots of homework, then home school with university student, then she needs to attend gym, ballet and practice piano. Speak English to you, Spanish to daddy and Cantonese to grandparent, plus Russian, Mandarin and attend GATE exam. I wish you didnt prepare her for that. What is different from a HK kid?

If you dont mind, I am curious to know if your net salary is higher or lower compare to similar position in HK? How about the workload, more or less? How about school fee for kindergarten? Do you need to pay deposit and how much ?

Nillie_Mami

kidslittle1,
same here again.. haha.. seems, we are on the same boat.. haha.. My husband just exactly like your hubby.
we met each other for a while.. that time, I still stayed with my ex-bf.. my hubby is just my friend. he is kind of quiet and just wait at the corner for me. until I went to australia for studies. arrange married doesn't work on that situation, so we broke up, end up, my hubby kept coming over from NYC to do his business (actually, he came to visit me and kept my time occupied.) and after almost 2 years.. he kept propose to me.. I agreed..
I told myself, I growth up in hk, and I should able to overcome with the stress to stay in a new place.. NYC is my hubby's home town.. as I am married, I am willing to stay and adapt the life here.

Xother,
I guess.. you kind of misunderstand what is happening here.
From what I learn from your posting, I feel that Amanda is quite busy. She has to go to a private school which is very strict and lots of homework, then home school with university student,
she is in day care right now, and will attend private school this sept if she doesn't get a seat in Gifted program, then we will hire an university student to do home study for her. as you said. I am not a native, how can I teach her to do her homework??
then she needs to attend gym, ballet and practice piano.
All music class, ballet class, gym class occur at 4pm to 5:30pm after school. she is the one who requested to attend it, we did not insist to let her go, you know how much we have to pay beside the school fee, that is not cheap at all.
Speak English to you, Spanish to daddy and Cantonese to grandparent, plus Russian, Mandarin and attend GATE exam.
yup, she speak Cantonese and English with me, cantonese, english, spanish with dad, cantonese with 62,99, and my parents, she does speak russian, spanish, and english at school (she is the one who requested to take the extra spanish class after school). about mandarin, she only learn it from ni hao Kai lan program, she likes it and follow what they say.. she doesn't really "put a foot" into it yet.
GATE is recommended by the current school teacher and the private school teacher. just a test in one of the morning and that is finished at Jan already. still waiting for the result.
I wish you didnt prepare her for that. What is different from a HK kid?
one thing is different between Amanda and kids in hk..
is .. all those activities are requested by Amanda..
not like the kids in hk, they are pushed to study because they need to fight and their parents want to compare their kids with others.
My lil Amanda learns everything on her own wish, she wants to learn piano since she was 3. but we did not let her learn it as she was so young.
now, every lesson, she learns 2 new songs every times, her teacher said that she is very smart too. the second lesson, she knows what is bit.
If you dont mind, I am curious to know if your net salary is higher or lower compare to similar position in HK?
net salary... haha, I have never counted that at all.. that is really new concept for me.. as we have tax return.. don't know how much is it. Certainly, salary is higher than in hk and work load is lower than in hk.
How about the workload, more or less? How about school fee for kindergarten?
School fee for Amanda..
Day care is $600, ballet class $150, Piano class $75, Gym class $25, Music class $50.
Do you need to pay deposit and how much ?
dear.. what is deposit.. what do you mean by that??

about her talent, since she was 10 months, the gymboree play group teacher told me that she is different. but I don't really pay any attention to it. until she attends day care when she was 2, on the next day, principle told me, Amanda in 3 years old class.. they said that she is too smart, she knows things. since then, once she reaches another level, principle got our permit to send Amanda to the next class. Now, she plays with the pre-K friends, studies some subjects with K students( her work books for 5 -6 years old). we get used to it.. and I have never known anything about Gifted before (until we took her for kindergarten interview this Jan).

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-21 02:39 AM 發表
kidslittle1,
I dont regret to migrate as it is my husband's dream to come to Canada. I just accompanish his dream and be his supporter. Let me tell you my story. I met my husband when we were in Austr ...

Nillie_Mami

Xother,
about the knocking down other kids, doesn't really HURT.. haha.. she got time out.. is a correct decision, because she needs to learn to be a fair lady.
she studies in a Russian day care, not an American school. disciplant is very important. rule is very strict.

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-21 02:39 AM 發表
kidslittle1,
I dont regret to migrate as it is my husband's dream to come to Canada. I just accompanish his dream and be his supporter. Let me tell you my story. I met my husband when we were in Austr ...

Nillie_Mami

之前病咗.. 老公去唐人超市買咗"柚子蜜".. 以前我病, 係我爸爸買俾我沖水飲.. 而家老公代勞.. 突然好掛住佢老人家..
Xother,
唔好覺得好多人移民係以為外國好啲, 好多人移民係reunion嘅呢.
見你個個message 咁怒氣沖沖, 死好多細胞架

原文章由 Nillie_Mami 於 08-3-21 09:37 AM 發表
Xother,
about the knocking down other kids, doesn't really HURT.. haha.. she got time out.. is a correct decision, because she needs to learn to be a fair lady.
she studies in a Russian day care, not  ...

xother

Nilliemami,


I guess.. you kind of misunderstand about me. I am not angrynor upset at all. Or Why should I?
I amjust telling you my story and how I struggle in life.

I am not sure if it is coincident, my daughter also went todaycare which run by Eastern European and Spanish ladies. They also hireChinese ladies and I can hear Chinese and Spanish very often, however,it doesn’t mean my daughter is learning all languages there as for kids level,they all speak English. Yes, they will teach them to sing some songs which arein Chinese or Spanish, but it doesn’t mean my daughter can speak Spanish andChinese. Or I should say it??


Regarding of discipline, I never seen kids doing any wrestling in daycare. Besides hugging, I dont find any excuse for them to have any close inter-action? Or Canada and American have different way of bring up kids?


In the past, I also put my daughter in ballet, gym, piano,swimming, golf, trampoline, jazz.....as long as I have time and money.
I finish work by 4pm but by the time I reachdaycare, it is already 5pm and I need to cook.....put her in sleep by 10pm. Atthat time, I only have my daughter as my son is not yet born. All those activitiesare in weekend and mostly courses are just 10 sessions of time or golf is only2 sessions. On top of it, I struggle to put her for Chinese class and becauseof that, I have to pull her out from Chinese for 1 semester as I want her toenjoy what she likes to learn.

What made you think HK kids are suffered with all those activities?
In the past my daughter loves to ask meto buy toys whenever she saw it on TV and does it mean I have to buy it all? Iwish I could. In reality, I have to screen what I can afford and what is goodfor her. It applies to extra curriculum as well. I screen what she reallyinterested and narrow down what I can afford. Currently she is doing herChinese class and will sign her up for swimming class soon.


Home school? In here, it means you teach your child at homerather than attending school as some parent believe they are better teacher.However, you have different interpretation, another word of tutor and from myeyes, it is no different from kids in HK.
I can understand tutor when they are older butnot in kindergarten level? Besides, your husband is native and he should beable to give her guidance, right?

We all know taxes are very high in western world and in Canada, it isstarted around 30% and higher if salary is higher. From a migrant’s point ofview, I like to compare if I can make more or less. I ask net income becausethat is the actual income you can spend. Yes, we all get tax return, but howmuch you can really get at the end?

Does private school ask for deposit? Or they call itvoucher, donation… it is a big lum sum of money on top of your monthly fee.

If Amanda has mixed with older kids, then it is common forher to pick up their level of knowledge. But is the daycare very big in yourarea? My daughter’s daycare is max 21kids and they all play together as
only accept kids above 30mths. In general,daycare or preschool will only separate 2 groups of kids and 2.5 – 3yrs is the lineto separate them.

You are another example of migrate through marriage. Yourlife is easy as your husband has drawn the map for you! It may be unique inStates as skill immigrants are not common and reunion is the best option formigration. In Canada,you can only use reunion for spouse or direct relatives.

Nillie_Mami

woo..
you really like to compare with everything that you can.. I am so tried with those la.. Xother..
why you want to question every single point?
Amanda's day care is a school, they have kids up to Grade 5. even in Amanda's class with 28 kids (preK with 2 classes... in total.. there is over 50 kids for 4 years old class). they have kids from 2 years old thru finish PS. it is different to your daughter daycare.
they play at day care only. Amanda's one is academic. they play and they learn things. they have class which is with teacher.. not a lady. they are all licensed by NY state.
I don't think that to have a second child, then I have to take away Amanda's class..
when we plan to have a second child, we think about finance first.. we have to make sure, Amanda will able to have the same or almost the same life style. Amanda still able to attend private school, able to have a live in nanny and all our family issue. After that, we asked Amanda's permit to have another child. it is something really affect her life. we are friends.. and family. so Amanda should have the right to vote, to have a sibling or not. and she said yes.. and now, she really loves her bro.
home schooling.. I don't planned to. I don't believe that.. kids need social life. I will have a person to come to teach Amanda's homework.
I would rather when me and my hubby come home everyday, .. will have some quality time with Amanda and Gabriel.. not struggling with the homework..

Just be relax.. not just only you struggle with your life.. at least, you have your hubby sits on the same boat with you.
those parents who migrated because of their child, I would rather say "proud" of them.. because they put their child on the 1st place, not themselves.
in fact, I really feel that you are very unhappy with everything surrounding you from your words and message.. that is my personal opinion lor.
you thought my marriage is easy.. I will show you my first chinese message in BK later.. that is my real story.
but I overcome it. because I believe that I am married and NYC should be my new home town.

原文章由 xother 於 08-3-22 07:09 AM 發表
Nilliemami,


I guess.. you kind of misunderstand about me. I am not angrynor upset at all. Or Why should I?
I amjust telling you my story and how I struggle in life.

I am not sure if it is coinc ...

Nillie_Mami

2003年6月初,那天晚上,在JFK機塲下機,提著大包小包的行李,跟在丈夫的背後,是懷着快二十七周身孕的我.,帶著有點不安和疲累的我..心想..終於到達美國了.之後便要在這裡生活,心裡帶着的只有忐忑不安四個字。
一到奶奶的家只看到被排於門外的眼光,當時已感到不妙,但我實在太累..無時間再去思索過中因由,便放下行李只帶着隨身的小衣箱和丈夫離開,心想..剛回家幹嗎又要離開,丈夫說家人話我不方便留下,所以,在新澤西州book了酒店給我 “落腳” 我心裡便明白,他們怕我有 SARS, 真無知。算吧! 住酒店怎樣說也比住奶奶家好呢!
當家居隔籬後, 丈夫說已落訂的新居還沒法入伙, 所以我們便要跟他哥哥一家五口分住一間屋, 當時我便心知不妙了。以後下來，你們可要有心理準備才好看下去呢…
日子實在難過, 因為丈夫哥哥 (二伯 )不容許我用雪櫃和厨房煮食 ,原因是他只應承給我們住, 所以不准開伙煮食和用雪櫃 , 要求呵克得很….但丈夫也答應他…原因… (又是原因啊！) 是因為以為新居可以很快入伙, 和有二嫂和我照應…實際上我是他們３小孩的無價.. (免費 )保母…
在家四個月,從來不准我配門匙，因為怕我放賊入屋，，說的話可真克薄…
8月, 小生命誕生 , 遇上美國立國以來第二次大停電 , 下身的傷口還在痛 ,又要餵人奶 (冇雪櫃用 ,唔食人奶 ,亞 B 咪餓死？) 覺得自己好殘好賤 , 連基本俾ＢＢ的有嘅生活質素，我都無法提供。
還大肚時,到奶奶家 ,丈夫必把我推入廚房, 因為奶奶愛鬧人, 開口埋口便說如果唔係佢殷淮二伯 {收 容 我 }, 我便要 “瞓街” ..時時提醒我 ,佢有幾關照我….一知BB係女仔就話腰骨痛 , 唔可以幫我坐月..
又唔幫我坐月, 又唔准我用廚房….到BB 出世後,丈夫只有晚晚留定隔夜飯於飯盒內… 我便等第二日日間食 , 因為唔准用爐頭 , 所以 ,生咗 BB成4個月都係食凍疍煎飯加豉油… 食到怕就食腸仔飽… 因為怕ＢＢ冇營養 , 我日日飲4公升水 (每半公升水加七匙羮葡萄糖 )..甜到苦… 體重由有 BB 前的 126磅, 到產後四個月, 只得 102 磅, 醫生話我嚴重營養不良, 唔明 BB 點解會個個禮拜增磅….紅着眼的我實在說不出口.
十二月…. 好凍..下雪了…二伯一家去旅行，竟然把暖氣關上，房內温度只有31F…攝氏零下一度…. 我和BB差點凍死….只有在房內開 warm mist 和小暖爐, 我實在支持不到了 , 男家不愛我丈夫 , 可以說 是討厭他…. 因為奶奶十五出世 , 丈夫初一出世, 所以奶奶話我丈夫會一世克佢, 所有兄弟姊妹都睇唔起佢…. 但係又關我和 BB 乜 嘢事？ 點解要咁對我同BB….？
終於 , 我留下眼淚問丈夫可唔可以搬走….咁差嘅環境我都未死….出面租屋一定冇事….
於是…我哋等二伯一家回來當日便搬走…..走時, 我同老公講…我希望由到美國至今日,
“折墮” 嘅日子會離我而去……..也告訴我老公…..你家以後發生乜事都唔好叫我幫手。我成世女都未試過咁慘. ..人哋坐月, 我坐月…連一口熱飯都冇得食….你呢世係你同你家人欠我同 BB o架!!!
但恐怖曰子仲未過, 04年父親節 , 好憎我丈夫的大姑奶上公司 , 提醒晚上要一家人食飯…在我去洗手間前, 把十個月大的囡囡放回 BB 車, 便去洗手間。那時,大姑奶便把用貓沙 (貓貓便便用的吸味沙)入的豆袋放在我女女手中, 女女便開始咬豆袋.. 十個月的ＢＢ多數都在出牙仔…幸好被大姑丈發見….. 在她被她老公駡的時侯, 我便剛回來, 一聽到對話巳嚇至半死…..好心毒手辣的大姑奶….十個月大的 BB 也不放過….
當我哭着失訴丈夫時, 怕事的他竟說多一事不如少一事, 明天送ＢＢ去醫生那裡吧！ 他..正一冇用鬼！
當我哭着告訴老爺時 (他是家中唯一對我和 BB好的人)..他嚇得抱着 孫女看又看,第二天, 還只有他和我同 BB去看醫生呢!
老爺一句,嫁入佢家門係害, 苦, 咗我…. 我眼淚流下.. [老爺, 有多苦, 我唔怕…因為仲有你和老公對我好!!!]
現在, 有自己的家, 我又開始温書, 3月8日 婦女節, 我去考紐約州蘐士執業試…新生話正式開始!

Yau_Cheung

原文章由 Nillie_Mami 於 08-3-22 21:36 發表
2003年6月初,那天晚上,在JFK機塲下機,提著大包小包的行李,跟在丈夫的背後,是懷着快二十七周身孕的我.,帶著有點不安和疲累的我..心想..終於到達美國了.之後便要在這裡生活,心裡帶着的只有忐忑不安四個字。
一到奶奶的 ...

You are very strong!

If I were you, even I forgave them but I would not forget what they did! :;pppp:

Nillie_Mami

yau_cheung,
日子係會過.. 我唔會俾仔女見部份老公嘅relatives to pay safe. even 99,62 都驚.. 因為佢哋宜家見到, 我2個小朋友係最有教養,乖同和善. 佢吔好錫我仔女..
老公嘅部份兄妹一有求於佢, 嚟我屋企, 我第一件事係dress up 小朋友出街. 因為佢哋會扮好メ, then "meet"我小朋友嘅面同手腳. 無必要嘅physical 接觸, 可免則免..
Amanda +Gabriel 只會同老公一個同樣被孤立嘅妹妹(因為佢嫁越南人俾99同兄弟姐妹bias)啲小朋友玩.
我巳冇嬲99, 因為老吾老以及人之老.. 佢係老公嘅媽咪..
我都想立好榜樣俾Gabriel 睇
好多過埠新娘為maintain 個family 都付出好多..
我唔認同有老公就等於有個map, 有個方向..
而家我喺NYC, set up BK gathering group, 幫所有媽咪, set up resource center 回收baby gear 同借出我有嘅物資去幫新移民or 喺NYC生BB嘅BK 媽咪, 平租去幫讀药劑學同nursing 嘅大學生, 因為我行過條艱難嘅路, 我宜家可以做嘅就係幫其他HK人(who landed in NYC)易啲落地生根

原文章由 Yau_Cheung 於 08-3-22 11:18 AM 發表


You are very strong!

If I were you, even I forgave them but I would not forget what they did! :;pppp:

virgokaren

Nillie_Mami ：

睇完你的故事，好佩服你的勇氣、毅力和胸襟呀！