發現自己心理唔平衡

bobo1314

很同意以上大家的意見！但我想講一句，名校有些老師很不負責任！樓主想小朋友讀QC,我姨甥仔正是QC生，由屋村小學，到小四跨區讀九龍小學，到跨區讀QC中一...由小學top1-3,到QC 考中上，我見到好多drawbacks....小朋友自信心大跌！無曬方向，同姨甥仔溫習，都發覺名校都有唔少無曬熱誠的老師。。。。

我個小朋友仲細，k1,但未來我都會同大家一樣，係happy learning vs " branded-school" learning掙扎！

milka

Hi aryee,

我忍唔住入嚟, 想比你掌聲 !
你好清醒亦好顧慮孩子 , 其實做到咁已好難得!:loveliness:

二星期內分別聽了二個有关話題的二個個案:
1) 朋友親友的兒子(沒有問多大呢..):-
孩子在地區小學名列前矛 (第一名, 不知全级/班), 母親替小孩轉到跨區名校, 之後考最尾. 小孩變得很反叛, 在學業+操行都差的情况下,"被邀" 轉往別的學校.
轉往的是一間個人覺得不是特別"優秀"的學校, 但聽说因操行的問题, 再次"被邀" 轉往別的學校.
個人覺得這個孩子很可憐!

2) 在職同事個案:
同事在北角地區小學成績優異,他媽媽為他報考港島名校成功, 在那校裹他仍然成績優異, 之後畢業於HKU 及再升學英国.

我不知該说些什麼....但本人丈夫覺得個案1反映母親高估小孩能力, 低估學校程度.....但我連小囡的能力有多少及將入讀的小學程度有多高也未清楚....

我想也不能怪個案1的媽妈.......沒有一個不为孩子好的母親吧?  但我會量力而为!

aryee

childrenfirst, kschow, DD仔,
好多謝你地既鼓勵，令我覺得自己方向正確，將來無論入左咩學校都好，只要繼續努力，我相信都一樣咁光彩。希望我唔好再成日迷失，做一個理智既媽媽。

bobo1314，叫你姨甥仔唔好放棄，自強不息，努力呀！

aryee

原帖由 milka 於 10-5-27 14:09 發表
Hi aryee,

我忍唔住入嚟, 想比你掌聲 !
你好清醒亦好顧慮孩子 , 其實做到咁已好難得!:loveliness:

二星期內分別聽了二個有关話題的二個個案:
1) 朋友親友的兒子(沒有問多大呢..):-
孩子在地區 ...

首先多謝你既掌聲，其實我無咩值得讚，因為我都有一份虛榮，想小朋友成績好，入名校，呢份虛榮感得閒無事就黎騷擾我，攪到個心1516，好彩暫時仲係以理智取勝，上黎聽埋大家講，我就更加安於現狀，知道自己唔應該跟住人後尾追。我地會努力keep住而家既成績，同時亦將省下來既時間心力好好裝備自己，將來考到心儀學校就好，考唔到都練得一身好武功，讀其他學校相信都會有幫助。

你既case 1正正係我既顧慮，我怕成績大落後之餘，連刻意經營為小朋友建立既學習興趣同志氣都無埋，到時咩名校都假。但我都認為，不能怪case 1既媽媽，佢都估唔到會咁，有時d野，都係好難估計。希望佢小朋友快d重拾返讀書既意志，做個積極快樂既小朋友。

[ 本帖最後由 aryee 於 10-5-27 14:35 編輯 ]

中山人

我小時是讀一間學術程度深嚴的天主教小學，記憶中老師很嚴厲，我的成績中下，因此沒有自信，性格很文靜內向，不喜愛上學讀書，學校亦沒有課外活動供同學參與。到了小四那年，我全家搬進荃灣區新屋邨，在屋邨樓下新校讀小四，可能新校程度淺又多課外活動，我年年考第二，自此性格突然變得開朗活潑好動，還很有自信鬥志，時常參與學校上台表演，又受同學歡迎，投票選我做班長，中學當然被派去地區Band one中學，此中學無論校風及公開試成績都比名校不相伯仲。現在我是專業人士，回想起如果我仍然在第一間小學就讀，我肯定不會派去Band one中學，而且亦沒有現在的成就！

[ 本帖最後由 中山人 於 10-5-28 01:02 編輯 ]

Longan

No parents want to make wrong decisions for their kids. Understandable that aryee has such struggle as same for me.

In my opinion, school culture and standard of parents are equally important. My kid's govt school has good academic results, but 禮貌&品德很弱 even for being a class monitor. We found that the teachers have been trying their efforts in teaching students 品德, but the result is far from satisfactory because the families cannot 配合. My son has been  hit by classmates, and schoolmates on school bus for 5 times during 9 months. That is also why I hope to source for better schools, not because 虛榮 but for my son's long term values and development, and safety. My son is relatively shy and not the targeted students of popular schools. His language abiliies are outstanding but still difficult to get a seat from these schools because of his characters. As parents, 試問怎樣心理可以平衡, as I feel so helpless!

原帖由 kschow 於 10-5-27 11:54 發表
aryee,

睇完你的發表, 很感動, 因為俾我感受到你的確係一個偉大的媽媽, 真真正正係為小朋友着想, 並不是以滿足一己私慾及虛榮

小朋友的自信心真係很難培養到, 假若當時入到名小學, 但人上有人, 小朋友在某方便比了 ...

aryee

原帖由 中山人 於 10-5-28 00:52 發表
我小時是讀一間學術程度深嚴的天主教小學，記憶中老師很嚴厲，我的成績中下，因此沒有自信，性格很文靜內向，不喜愛上學讀書，學校亦沒有課外活動供同學參與。到了小四那年，我全家搬進荃灣區新屋邨，在屋邨樓下新校讀小四，可能新校程 ...

thanks for sharing.  you're a good example.

aryee

原帖由 Longan 於 10-5-28 10:51 發表
No parents want to make wrong decisions for their kids. Understandable that aryee has such struggle as same for me.

In my opinion, school culture and standard of parents are equally important. My ki ...

咁你而家係咪四處叩門﹖希望你快d搵到適合既學校。品德既要求絶對不能下於成績，呢樣野，比成績影響仲要深遠。

sa_sallychan

其實好多父母都好像你,因為我都係其中一個呀

Longan

Thanks to all for the sharing n advice.

Frankly speaking, my character is strong esp when taking care of issues of my kid, n I'm not that kind of mother that just sit there n do nothing, and blame the whole world. I had talked to teachers, principal, and to the parents of those kids myself in order to tactfully handle the issues without causing too much harm also to these kids, because they are still small. However, I can no way teach these kids in 品德 esp in front of their parents. It is easy to understand that 良好品德 always starts fm home. Eg, if parents speak strong language, no matter how the school puts effort, it is difficult to prevent the kids from following. I always believe in 身教.
The principal also know the problem n tries to resolve all cases, but prevention is better that correction. My boy is shy but not weak, n there is never a fight which is much more serious. He understands and tries to forgive, n learn fm experience.

I believe your case is very worse n that's why u use such kungfu as a 非常method which should never apply to us. U are right that I have to train my boy to be independent n solve issues by himself, we are doing this. But there are so many such kids in a school. The main point is whether the parents can 配合 the school's mission n views, n do something at home. Changing school is pessimistic fm a certain point of view, but optimistic from the good sake of my son.

原帖由 talent2000 於 10-5-29 13:29 發表
To fight or arguement among primary schools is frequently occurred. I am very typical and crazy, perhaps. Just look into your case, firstly, have you tried to settle these fights in school or reflecte ...

Longan

Thanks for your consensus. A lot of parents do not understand its importance.

原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-28 13:09 發表


咁你而家係咪四處叩門﹖希望你快d搵到適合既學校。品德既要求絶對不能下於成績，呢樣野，比成績影響仲要深遠。

mingb

唔係卦, Band 1 學校考三甲仲要不安? 真係冇野諗搵野黎諗.

aryee

原帖由 mingb 於 10-5-31 02:39 發表
唔係卦, Band 1 學校考三甲仲要不安? 真係冇野諗搵野黎諗.

可能你覺得我庸人自擾，但我又覺得，咩程度既人，都可以繼續追求進步空間。

CHIULHJ

以下個案可能會給樓主一點啟示:

http://tkk88.com/index2.htm

aryee

原帖由 CHIULHJ 於 10-6-1 09:33 發表
以下個案可能會給樓主一點啟示:

http://tkk88.com/index2.htm

我睇過呀，謝謝！對升中部署，確係得益不少！

yypapa

Aryee,

I think it's too risky to change school.  It is hard to tell how well your kid will adapt the new environment and the competitions.   If I were you, I will let him/her to develop other non-academic skills and interests .......  sports, music, dancing etc.   How nice to have "周身刀,張張利".   

原帖由 aryee 於 10-6-1 09:44 發表


我睇過呀，謝謝！對升中部署，確係得益不少！

aryee

原帖由 yypapa 於 10-6-1 14:36 發表
Aryee,

I think it's too risky to change school.  It is hard to tell how well your kid will adapt the new environment and the competitions.   If I were you, I will let him/her to develop other non-ac ...

Thanks for your advice. 週身刀，haha, 會練返一兩把

InitialD

Go ahead to change.. otherwise ou will regret for whole life.(no one can predict the future).

原帖由 aryee 於 10-6-1 17:28 發表


Thanks for your advice. 週身刀，haha, 會練返一兩把

[ 本帖最後由 InitialD 於 10-6-1 21:47 編輯 ]