發現自己心理唔平衡

aryee

小朋友已上小學，但間中亦會走黎8下，當見到呢度d家長或身邊朋友為小朋友入好學校而鋪路，心裡面都有啲戚戚然...

我小朋友算smart，讀得下書，但因為種種原因，最後都係揀左一間過氣地區津校band 1，成績keep住三甲。爛船仲有三斤釘，但真係得三斤，呢間學校升band 1中學有60%，但相對大家所講既英小呀，名校呀，一條龍呀，升中靚網呀，就差左一大截....

個心1516，有時想同佢轉校，但怕一轉，只會得不償失，而家間學校，個仔讀得好開心，成績又好，校風都ok.....如果唔使同人比較的話，其實一切都唔錯。但人在江湖，好快又煩升中，到時你唔同人比，人地都會擺你上枱比一番...

轉校，名氣較好既，我怕自己高攀不來，仲辛苦左小朋友，因為我buy愉快學習，而且我無錢offer私人補習/外藉老師比佢，只係靠佢自己上堂吸收，呢種學習方法，地區band 1還可以，但應付唔到當今一眾名校。如果只係轉d六斤釘既學校，又覺得一動不如一靜。

我唔知自己想點...只係想上黎舒發一下。最近又有朋友為入名校鋪左條靚路，我又受刺激，真係人比人，比死人。教我如何平衡心理﹖如何是好﹖

[ 本帖最後由 aryee 於 10-5-25 23:03 編輯 ]

aryee

原帖由 InitialD 於 10-6-1 21:11 發表
Go ahead to change.. otherwise ou will regret for whole life.(no one can predict the future).

哈哈，咁峰迴路轉，暫時我傾向majority既講法，留響現校，再磨返兩把刀 anyway，thanks

InitialD

Go ahead to change.. otherwise ou will regret for whole life.(no one can predict the future).

原帖由 aryee 於 10-6-1 17:28 發表


Thanks for your advice. 週身刀，haha, 會練返一兩把

[ 本帖最後由 InitialD 於 10-6-1 21:47 編輯 ]

aryee

原帖由 yypapa 於 10-6-1 14:36 發表
Aryee,

I think it's too risky to change school.  It is hard to tell how well your kid will adapt the new environment and the competitions.   If I were you, I will let him/her to develop other non-ac ...

Thanks for your advice. 週身刀，haha, 會練返一兩把

yypapa

Aryee,

I think it's too risky to change school.  It is hard to tell how well your kid will adapt the new environment and the competitions.   If I were you, I will let him/her to develop other non-academic skills and interests .......  sports, music, dancing etc.   How nice to have "周身刀,張張利".   

原帖由 aryee 於 10-6-1 09:44 發表


我睇過呀，謝謝！對升中部署，確係得益不少！

aryee

原帖由 CHIULHJ 於 10-6-1 09:33 發表
以下個案可能會給樓主一點啟示:

http://tkk88.com/index2.htm

我睇過呀，謝謝！對升中部署，確係得益不少！

CHIULHJ

以下個案可能會給樓主一點啟示:

http://tkk88.com/index2.htm

aryee

原帖由 mingb 於 10-5-31 02:39 發表
唔係卦, Band 1 學校考三甲仲要不安? 真係冇野諗搵野黎諗.

可能你覺得我庸人自擾，但我又覺得，咩程度既人，都可以繼續追求進步空間。

mingb

唔係卦, Band 1 學校考三甲仲要不安? 真係冇野諗搵野黎諗.

Longan

Thanks for your consensus. A lot of parents do not understand its importance.

原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-28 13:09 發表


咁你而家係咪四處叩門﹖希望你快d搵到適合既學校。品德既要求絶對不能下於成績，呢樣野，比成績影響仲要深遠。

Longan

Thanks to all for the sharing n advice.

Frankly speaking, my character is strong esp when taking care of issues of my kid, n I'm not that kind of mother that just sit there n do nothing, and blame the whole world. I had talked to teachers, principal, and to the parents of those kids myself in order to tactfully handle the issues without causing too much harm also to these kids, because they are still small. However, I can no way teach these kids in 品德 esp in front of their parents. It is easy to understand that 良好品德 always starts fm home. Eg, if parents speak strong language, no matter how the school puts effort, it is difficult to prevent the kids from following. I always believe in 身教.
The principal also know the problem n tries to resolve all cases, but prevention is better that correction. My boy is shy but not weak, n there is never a fight which is much more serious. He understands and tries to forgive, n learn fm experience.

I believe your case is very worse n that's why u use such kungfu as a 非常method which should never apply to us. U are right that I have to train my boy to be independent n solve issues by himself, we are doing this. But there are so many such kids in a school. The main point is whether the parents can 配合 the school's mission n views, n do something at home. Changing school is pessimistic fm a certain point of view, but optimistic from the good sake of my son.

原帖由 talent2000 於 10-5-29 13:29 發表
To fight or arguement among primary schools is frequently occurred. I am very typical and crazy, perhaps. Just look into your case, firstly, have you tried to settle these fights in school or reflecte ...

sa_sallychan

其實好多父母都好像你,因為我都係其中一個呀

aryee

原帖由 Longan 於 10-5-28 10:51 發表
No parents want to make wrong decisions for their kids. Understandable that aryee has such struggle as same for me.

In my opinion, school culture and standard of parents are equally important. My ki ...

咁你而家係咪四處叩門﹖希望你快d搵到適合既學校。品德既要求絶對不能下於成績，呢樣野，比成績影響仲要深遠。

aryee

原帖由 中山人 於 10-5-28 00:52 發表
我小時是讀一間學術程度深嚴的天主教小學，記憶中老師很嚴厲，我的成績中下，因此沒有自信，性格很文靜內向，不喜愛上學讀書，學校亦沒有課外活動供同學參與。到了小四那年，我全家搬進荃灣區新屋邨，在屋邨樓下新校讀小四，可能新校程 ...

thanks for sharing.  you're a good example.

Longan

No parents want to make wrong decisions for their kids. Understandable that aryee has such struggle as same for me.

In my opinion, school culture and standard of parents are equally important. My kid's govt school has good academic results, but 禮貌&品德很弱 even for being a class monitor. We found that the teachers have been trying their efforts in teaching students 品德, but the result is far from satisfactory because the families cannot 配合. My son has been  hit by classmates, and schoolmates on school bus for 5 times during 9 months. That is also why I hope to source for better schools, not because 虛榮 but for my son's long term values and development, and safety. My son is relatively shy and not the targeted students of popular schools. His language abiliies are outstanding but still difficult to get a seat from these schools because of his characters. As parents, 試問怎樣心理可以平衡, as I feel so helpless!

原帖由 kschow 於 10-5-27 11:54 發表
aryee,

睇完你的發表, 很感動, 因為俾我感受到你的確係一個偉大的媽媽, 真真正正係為小朋友着想, 並不是以滿足一己私慾及虛榮

小朋友的自信心真係很難培養到, 假若當時入到名小學, 但人上有人, 小朋友在某方便比了 ...

中山人

我小時是讀一間學術程度深嚴的天主教小學，記憶中老師很嚴厲，我的成績中下，因此沒有自信，性格很文靜內向，不喜愛上學讀書，學校亦沒有課外活動供同學參與。到了小四那年，我全家搬進荃灣區新屋邨，在屋邨樓下新校讀小四，可能新校程度淺又多課外活動，我年年考第二，自此性格突然變得開朗活潑好動，還很有自信鬥志，時常參與學校上台表演，又受同學歡迎，投票選我做班長，中學當然被派去地區Band one中學，此中學無論校風及公開試成績都比名校不相伯仲。現在我是專業人士，回想起如果我仍然在第一間小學就讀，我肯定不會派去Band one中學，而且亦沒有現在的成就！

[ 本帖最後由 中山人 於 10-5-28 01:02 編輯 ]

aryee

原帖由 milka 於 10-5-27 14:09 發表
Hi aryee,

我忍唔住入嚟, 想比你掌聲 !
你好清醒亦好顧慮孩子 , 其實做到咁已好難得!:loveliness:

二星期內分別聽了二個有关話題的二個個案:
1) 朋友親友的兒子(沒有問多大呢..):-
孩子在地區 ...

首先多謝你既掌聲，其實我無咩值得讚，因為我都有一份虛榮，想小朋友成績好，入名校，呢份虛榮感得閒無事就黎騷擾我，攪到個心1516，好彩暫時仲係以理智取勝，上黎聽埋大家講，我就更加安於現狀，知道自己唔應該跟住人後尾追。我地會努力keep住而家既成績，同時亦將省下來既時間心力好好裝備自己，將來考到心儀學校就好，考唔到都練得一身好武功，讀其他學校相信都會有幫助。

你既case 1正正係我既顧慮，我怕成績大落後之餘，連刻意經營為小朋友建立既學習興趣同志氣都無埋，到時咩名校都假。但我都認為，不能怪case 1既媽媽，佢都估唔到會咁，有時d野，都係好難估計。希望佢小朋友快d重拾返讀書既意志，做個積極快樂既小朋友。

[ 本帖最後由 aryee 於 10-5-27 14:35 編輯 ]

aryee

childrenfirst, kschow, DD仔,
好多謝你地既鼓勵，令我覺得自己方向正確，將來無論入左咩學校都好，只要繼續努力，我相信都一樣咁光彩。希望我唔好再成日迷失，做一個理智既媽媽。

bobo1314，叫你姨甥仔唔好放棄，自強不息，努力呀！