五歲女兒的心聲

iantsang

親愛的爸爸媽媽，

謝謝您們多年來為我的選校籌謀，還記得爸爸不止一次問我，是否相信你去為我決定。爸爸我想跟你説，我是真心的相信你為我的選擇，因為在我心中，你是我最信任的人。

爸爸媽媽，我很清楚您們一早為我確定了小學的路，我亦很支持這個決定，因為我也有份參與這個決定。所以我自從一年前開始，已很努力嘗試改變自己的生活習慣，希望能夠在上小學前適應不同的上課時間。我一直都不敢跟爸媽您們說，因為我害怕您們會失望，但是已經一年了，我不見得可以早一點睡、也不能少睡一點。我很害怕到上小學時，會睡得不夠，沒精神上課。

另外稚氣的妹妹，也是我們一家人很擔心的事。幸好有天父的眷顧讓我們今年可以一起上學，希望妹妹在這一年能有所進歩，不然的話，我很擔心妹妹將來會找不到適合的小學。爸爸媽媽，您們能了解我的疑慮嗎？

作為一個剛滿五歲的我，其實那會想到能跟您們一起討論自己的選校？雖然在我兩歲半時，您們亦曾經徵詢過我的意願來選幼稚園，但是當年大家的想法一致，所以我的意見並不顯得那麽重要。

可是，選小學的決定比幼稚園更重要，所以我一直埋藏着自己的憂慮，因我明白要對自己的選擇負責任，所以我亦盡力準備和努力配合。可是，我想這次我真的辦不到。

感恩的是爸爸媽媽您們在暑假完結前一天，意想不到的跟我一起談談我對小學選擇的想法。感謝您們不會像一般父母那様，只當我是一個小孩般看待，而只用自己的主意去決定我的將來。讓我可以盡情的跟您們分享自己的看法和喜好，您們更用心的聆聽和協助我去學懂怎樣去表達自己的思想。謝謝您們給我這一個機會，去分享我的憂慮，好讓我抒解這一年來的困擾。

爸爸媽媽，多謝您們最後選擇去尊重我的意見，更重要的是，您們一同支持我這小小無私和有點幼稚的想法，好讓我去尋找和等待一所直正適合我和妹妹的學校。就如我對您們說，對於我們最後的決定，我已做好心理準備去接受這漫長的等待，就算最後無法達成這個願望，我也願意接受天父的安排。

因為有您們和妹妹在我身邊，一切就已經足夠了！

                               您們的女兒上

crystal媽咪

吓 !!!! 你囡囡係講出黎定寫出黎, 好成熟同好叻女喎 !!!!!!

iantsang

原帖由 crystal媽咪 於 11-9-27 16:36 發表
吓 !!!! 你囡囡係講出黎定寫出黎, 好成熟同好叻女喎 !!!!!!

of course she is only able to express these in words and I have helped to put them together.

I would not be glad if she can write this at this age.  

janettsui

你真係一個好父親!  冇幾多人會詢問女兒既意見, 尊重女兒既意願, 而放棄一早已預備好大人認定光明既前路. 佩服佩服!!

以我所知, 你囡囡係讀緊聖心, 我有d好奇, 佢唔想升聖心小學? 可以知道點解嘛?

[ 本帖最後由 janettsui 於 11-9-27 18:37 編輯 ]

Christi

thanks.由你囡囡的說話中學多一樣野.

ps/ 囡囡好成熟啊!

iantsang

Actually for what I have done is no special.  Basically for how serious she expressed her ideas (I didn't disclose them in such detail), I believe any parents would have to respect that.

Concerning her choice, I guess I owe many parents here an answer.  Will do it real soon.

iantsang

原帖由 Christi 於 11-9-27 23:19 發表
thanks.由你囡囡的說話中學多一樣野.

ps/ 囡囡好成熟啊!

Hi Christi,

I am interested to know what you have learned!

The purpose of this post, is to give everyone of us a chance of self-reflection.  There will be more such sharing later in my own blog.

Christi

好簡單,就是明白了5歲孩子也會有他們的選校憂慮. 本來心想,5歲孩子最多會發表[喜歡]VS[不喜歡],但談到他們的擔心,其實已是more than喜不喜歡了.可能我囡囡仍小,我沒想過,原來5歲已有這種思維.

早前在BK看過一個家長(孩子已讀中學)說過,孩子所走的路,一直都是他自己的選擇. 這話,我一直記住.

我有時會想,小朋友真的懂得選擇嗎? 然後我又會想,當我這樣質疑的時候,可能是(1)我不了解小朋友的發展,不明白小朋友真的已能作出選擇了;或(2)我仍放不下父母的[架子],話聽他們意見其實只是假諮詢,像港府在某些事的做法一樣.

well,我還須多多向小朋友學習學習...

iantsang

Hi Christi,

Honestly, it was a valuable learning experience for my wife and I.  At that moment, we were actually at a cross-road and couldn't figure out what schools are really suitable for us.  And so, I decided to turn to my daughter and tried to see if she can give us some hints.  Turned out, we were shocked by how detail her thinking is and to a point, amazed by her integrity through this conversation.

This is originally just a private and family matter which happened 4 weeks ago already.  The reason why I decided to share it is because, when I discuss with other parents and realize we all share this common thinking that  they couldn't express their ideas so clear and precise.  As I shared with a few parents, and learn that they also had such special encounter with their children.  So this is why I think may be it is time to awaken the mind of us as parents.  That we should never look down on our own children.

I do hope this is something useful for everyone.  But one thing to remember, the development of each children are different.

janettsui

你女兒肯同你講佢既想法, 因為佢知道你真係會聽, 會尊重. 如果唔係, 佢根本唔會同你講. Only係尼一點, 已經知道你係一個好爸爸.

你囡囡既心聲, 提醒左我要好好聆聽小朋友既意見. 祝你囡囡能夠入到一間適合佢既小學!

anteater

咁現在會跟她選擇什麼小學呢?

iantsang

原帖由 janettsui 於 11-9-28 01:26 發表
你女兒肯同你講佢既想法, 因為佢知道你真係會聽, 會尊重. 如果唔係, 佢根本唔會同你講. Only係尼一點, 已經知道你係一個好爸爸.

你囡囡既心聲, 提醒左我要好好聆聽小朋友既意見. 祝你囡囡能夠入到一間適合佢既小學! ...

Thanks for the good wishes!

I would say there is a strong trust built between us.  Whether I am indeed a good father, I would hope I could do better.

Ian

iantsang

原帖由 anteater 於 11-9-28 07:30 發表
咁現在會跟她選擇什麼小學呢?

Hi anteater,

The choice is no longer in our hands now!

Basically she has expressed her preference on gov't aided schools.  So, we have applied for DP which probably have tiny little chance.  We will let God lead our way through lucky draw.

We may choose to move late this year if we failed all three private schools applied (sorry, one less than the four I told the reporter in my magazine interview, for those who still remember it).  And sorry, we didn't apply to any of those top schools as my daughter has a very clear idea what sort of schools she prefers.

Ian

[ 本帖最後由 iantsang 於 11-9-28 08:33 編輯 ]

lyhv

好登你高興有個咁乖同咁明白事理嘅女!  Cong & Best Wishes to her!

iantsang

原帖由 lyhv 於 11-9-28 12:39 發表
好登你高興有個咁乖同咁明白事理嘅女!  Cong & Best Wishes to her!

We are thankful for that too.

Thank you very much!

IRK

Dear Ian,

Very touching, thanks for your kind sharing.

Even though I haven't posted too much message in BK (due to a bad experience which make me learnt to keep slience here), I have read your posts over 1 year. As you've said, God will guide your family. All children are His treasure and we are only His appointed "treasure keepers". (I always keep this in my mind to warm myself) He will pave the way of your girls. This is what I have experienced in last year N1 hunting.

BTW, god bless and hope to hear your good news soon.

iantsang

原帖由 dienalitie 於 11-9-28 15:49 發表
咁細個就咁明白事理，叻女
多謝你囡囡為我上左一課

Thanks for the compliment to my daughter.  She is just a regular child.

Hope you do enjoy this sharing.

iantsang

Interesting, this is something I just heard from my Catechism class yesterday!  Actually I didn't relate to this during the class but seems everything just tie together.

Thank you but again, it will be quite a while before we will have good news.

btw, it is difficult to discuss here but we should always find a way to face our fear.  If my 5 yrs old daughter can do that, so can you!  Hope to hear from you more often!  God bless.

[ 本帖最後由 iantsang 於 11-9-28 23:16 編輯 ]

小K

Thanks