有沒有地方(政府醫院)驗到小兒的身體含重金屬是否超標?

mrsphcheung

Dear  kawai,
Can you tell me what kind of behavioural therapy you are adopting?  My child often argues with us endlessly.  壹言九頂, 頂心頂肺. My husband may hit this little monster, but I try to persuade him to be well-behaved.  I always find it highly difficult to keep my temper when I teach him. Both hard and soft methods are used.  We always rectify his inappropriate behaviour immediately.  He often 明知故犯, 挑戰我們的容忍度.  It seems that this game is endless.

Can you suggest some effective ways to 糾正偏差行為?  Thanks a lot.  :-|

HayBMum

mrsphcheung,

from your message, your son's speech ability should be quite good in order to be able to 壹言九頂, 頂心頂肺.  

稚言治語

Dear Kawai,

I am glad to here that Ja is doing well.  

Yes, if I were you, I think I would try everything that is not harmful to my child and hope that some of these methods success.  I also agree that there are so many things in the world that we don't/can't understand but this doesn't mean that they are not useful.  People in the very old days even don't believe that the Earth is round.

Thus, let's work hard and wait.  

思佳媽咪

Dear Mrs Cheung

BTW, I have met some teenaged a-feature boys in Heep Hong and Caritas. They can speak fluently. However, the content of their conversation is highly inappropriate --- doesn't fit the situation. It seems that even if my child can speak well and has normal IQ, it doesn't mean that he can communicate and behave appropriately.

It's definitely true with autistic kids.  They keep talking on certain topics in inappropriate situation.  However, since your son is '壹言九頂, 頂心頂肺', that means he can read your reaction which also means he is not very autistic.  Did any specialist ever mention that he might be asperger?

Comparatively, my son can behave appropriately but cannot communicate well.  That's another problem.  I am extremey worried about his future.  I learned from the big kids in Caritas that they have great difficulties in finding jobs or in further studies.  My son is 16 and and the problem is coming nearer & nearer.

Guess we have to accept our kids no matter how they behave & what their future are.

mrsphcheung

Dear 思佳媽咪,
My son is son is '壹言九頂, 頂心頂肺' with his limited language (still 6 months delay in speech).  He is not smart to 睇人的眉頭眼額, but he knows what is right and wrong.  His problem is 明知故犯, 故意挑戰我們的容忍度.  He does not follow instruction if the trainer is 林善; he just behaves well in front of 惡死的 trainer.  He can communicate and behave very appropriately if he likes.  If you just have lunch / dinner with him, you may not know his problem.  You can notice his problem only when he attends a lesson conducted by a 林善的 teacher--- does not pay attention, talks to the others and disturbs the others, always 嬉皮笑臉.  

Up till now, no specialist has ever mentioned that he might be asperger.  My S.T. comments that he is just delay, but I don't think so.  Although my child plays with other children and enjoys talking to his classmates (sometimes even talk during the lesson), he is so stubborn that he always applies his way to do everything --- does not follow our instructions.  I think that he may be mildly autistic.  

Right now, the most headache problem is his attention.  I have consulted a child psychiatrist from the government.  His comment is wait and see.  Maybe, my child must take medicine when he goes to P.1.

"I am extremey worried about his future. I learned from the big kids in Caritas that they have great difficulties in finding jobs or in further studies. My son is 16 and and the problem is coming nearer & nearer.

Guess we have to accept our kids no matter how they behave & what their future are."  

I fully understand your feeling, 感同身受.  Your problem today will be my problem tomorrow.  To the worst scenario, my child may not go to work and just stay at home or go to 庛護宿舍 when I am too old to look after him.  My child's classmate's mum says that she has prepared to 比層樓佢收租渡日.  I think that it is also not so easy to 收租渡日 as there are so many 惡租客, our children may not know how to 保護自己.  Sorry for 呻.....  I can't sleep well during these few days just because of my child.  

思佳媽咪

Dear Mrs Cheung

There are not much choice of jobs for low academic & low skill people in today's job market.  So many normal teenagers are becoming 雙失青年.  I just can't imagine what the future of my son will be.  I have attended talks & visited 明愛綜合職業訓練中心.  They give job training & will help the students find jobs.  However, the social worker there gave us advice that we parents must be prepared psychologically that the job nature will be 清潔員、快餐店店員、速遞員之類.  (Frankly speaking, I need time to prepare that psychologically.)  Clerical job is not impossible but not much vacancies.  Salaries tend to be low since they are treated as MR people.  For some big kids who have finished secondary or tertiary education, they have difficulties in finding jobs in the open market.  Even if they can find jobs, they will be layoff easily.  The reality seems to be harsh for us!

sjmama

Dear both,
My case is even worse. I have two kids....     

思佳媽咪 寫道:

  The reality seems to be harsh for us!

mickeyma

Dearest mummies,
Let's prepare for the worst and hope for the best!
cheer up!        never        
with energy      
be happy        

mrsphcheung

Dear friends,
Are church or charitable organizations the only places which may accept our kids?  Caritas has recruited some a-feature young people.  

If we have a sum of money left to our kids, we must educate them how to keep their money.  I have encountered a mum in Heep Hong who teaches her son not to spend a dollar without her permission.  The child is very very rigid indeed.  He completely follows his mum's instruction --- even not to spend his money on Heep Hong's raffle tickets....  



:cry:  :cry:  :cry:

HayBMum

Not only the career issue, I think our kids may also have some problem in psychosexual development.  My friend's son is now 18 and is mild autistic.  According to her observation, her son does not have any interest in female (but definitely not homosexual).  He likes reading very much and spend most of his time on books.  He has few friends and none of them is girl.  When she asked him why he does not make friends with girls, he just answered "no interest at all".  My friend worries very much on him as she feel that this is very abnormal.       

mrsphcheung

Dear HayBMum,
There is a grown up boy (around 25) graduated from my child's current school.  He has got a computer degree in Australia and gets a job.  When he speaks, no one can stop him.  He just speaks his own interest.  He says that he has no interest in women.  It seems that a-feature men have no interest in opposite sex.  Anyway, I don't really mind this as many people are single nowadays.  His career and study are my major concern.

Does your friend's boy study or work?  Can he lead an independent life?   

kawai

Hi Mrs Cheung,

It’s a good sign that your child can argue with you and is able to 壹言九頂, 頂心頂肺.   My son is having similar problems like your son. He’s a kind of 反叛 and stubborn.   Sometimes he’s very tricky to test my patience by making the same mistakes.
I did hit and frighten him before but it seems not working anymore.  Sometimes I thought he did something wrong on purpose in order to draw my attention.  He is actually jealous of his little brother who is 5 months old.   He always asks me to read the story book for him or play with him when I’m busy with his brother.

Regarding the behavioural therapies for my son 都是離不開那些孖T (ST & OT)   

Don’t worry too much as it’ll be a long long way to go no matter your son is autistic or not.  Keeping yourself in good sharp is important because you need very much energy to handle him.

mrsphcheung

Dear kawai,
"He’s a kind of 反叛 and stubborn. Sometimes he’s very tricky to test my patience by making the same mistakes. ......... Sometimes I thought he did something wrong on purpose in order to draw my attention."  
EXACTLY THE SAME AS MY MONKEY BOY!!! Our sons belong to the same type of people --- highly rebellious.  My son is 明知故犯, 故意測試我的容忍度.  有時更會嬉皮笑臉咁問咁樣做o岩唔o岩呀?  明知故問,專登激死我.  I am afraid that he may cause a lot of troubles when he goes to P.1.  

mrsphcheung

Dear mickeyma,
Thanks for your encouragement.

mickeyma 寫道:
Dearest mummies,
Let's prepare for the worst and hope for the best!
cheer up!        never        
with energy      
be happy        

思佳媽咪

Hi friends,

I also agreed that whether our children are interested in opposite sex or not is not a big problem.  If they have problem looking after themselves, how can they look after the spouse?  In a recent '家長分享會' in Caritas, most of the parents agreed this point.  They better remain single, 以免累己累人。

From my son's development, I am sure he can look after himself in daily life.  However, I am not sure whether he can develop a career or earn a living. In fact, I will be most satisfied if he can get a simple clerical job.   

Talking about your kids' future may seem a bit long long way ahead for you all.  But I told you, time passed very quickly, especially after they had entered primary.....

Seems we are quite free today, chating the whole day on the net.

HayBMum

Mrsphcheung,
My friend's son is studying in pre-U level in New Zealand.  His academic result is quite good however his social relationship is really bad.  When he studied in HK's secondary school, he has no good friend at all as his personality is so straight ->  死牛一邊頸凡事只有黑同白。As his school life was so difficult and unhappy, my friend therefore sent him to New Zealand.  He is studying there much happier.  He commented that people there are friendly and not that nonsense as HK people      (are we really nonsense?)

Anyway, there must be a place accepting our kids.

mickeyma

I share the same opinion.

mrsphcheung 寫道:
  Anyway, I don't really mind this as many people are single nowadays.  His career and study are my major concern.
   

mrsphcheung

Dear HayBMum,
Your friend's boy is a bit similar to the old boy of my son's school.  When he goes to Australia to study university, he lives with a priest from the church as he can't manage his personal life (he is messy, except his studies).  Does a family member or a close relative / friend live with him when he goes to New Zealand to further his studies?  Just want to collect more information to prepare ahead.  Thanks.   

:

HayBMum

mrsphcheung,

My friend's son was initial living with the auntie who is a close friend of his mummy.  After the auntie returned to HK, my friend's husband retired from work and lived aboard with him.  So my friend is now the "astronaut" of the family who still works in HK and can only visit the husband and son in long holidays.

My friend's son can manage to take care himself.  He needs assistance on house keeping only.  But this seems to be the common problem of most of the kids nowaday.