值得看看！希望有你共鳴∼∼∼

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maxnew
Please let me know your mobile phone no. by pm. thanks!  

HayBMum

Dear Mrsphcheng,
Is 天主教總堂區學校 the exact name of the school?  

Is it located in Caine road?

Haybmum

[quote]
mrsphcheung 寫道:
天主教總堂區學校 (in Central) (excellent teachers)

mrsphcheung

Dear HayBMum,
Yes.  However, it is located at Sheung Wan.

HayBMum

mrsphcheung,

thank you for your reply.  I find it is located at Rutter street.

Although my son is only 3 now, I always read your and other mummys' messages on choosing the primary school.  The information is very useful.

mrsphcheung

Dear HayBMum,
Although the school is willing to accept our children, we have to spend plenty of time to keep our eyes on them to quit their strange behaviour and way of thinking.  My current task is to train my boy to be 'normal' in his way of thinking and his social skill.   

mickeyma

－－－－－－－－－－希望與限制－－－－－－－－－－－
我在報上看到了一則舊聞，有個植物人自殺了。

說植物人自殺其實用字不確，大家都知道植物人是「睡眠人」，除了安樂死，不可能有「自殺」的方法。我們所說的這位對象，是「前植物人」。他是難得的，長年昏睡後，居然甦醒的例子。

男孩成為植物人時，只有十九歲，正在念大學，有一位要好的女友。他因為腦溢血，轉成中風，成為了植物人。在他陷入昏迷時，他的女友沒有放棄他，一直來醫院探望。據報上所載：這時間接近一年。

之後是因為病者的母親覺得不應該耽誤女孩子的青春，所以力勸她不要再去探視自己的兒子。而女孩離開時，還要求男孩的母親：萬一男孩醒了，一定要通知她。

一年後，男孩居然真的醒了，母親將他接回家中。由於昏睡了一年，身體機能受到影響，肢體似乎退化了，男孩變成了半殘廢，靠輪椅輔助生活。母親為他在親戚開的相片沖洗店找了工作，但是男孩的社交和生活圈縮小，沒有朋友，看不到未來，意志始終十分消沈。

女孩子這時候回頭來找他，而由於男孩的情形，母親認為兩人在一起不會有好結果，再度「為了那個女孩好」，也希望自己的兒子「不要害人」，所以要求兩人分手。兩人是何時分手，報上沒 寫。但是透露說男孩的意志益發消沈，多次起厭世之語，因此家裡一直擔心他會自殺。依此也許可推斷這不會是太久前的事。自殺的直接原因是男孩接到了同窗好友的喜帖，看到別人能正常的結婚生子，而自己一生無望，於是在自己臥室內割腕而死。

而他終於棄世時，離他甦醒已經七年，他的死實在是令人扼腕。將心比心，就從報上所提供的這些資料，其實也可以推理出許多事情來。這位母親顯然是有良知有道德的好人，不願意耽誤兒子女友的青春，不願意害別人家女孩子守著自己殘廢的兒子終老。也或著她整個出發點只是為了保護自己的兒子，擔心兒子萬一被女友拋棄後會受不了打擊。但是，無
論哪一種理由，其實都只反證了她對自己兒子的看法，她覺得她的兒子沒有用，不可能有未來，不夠資格與正常人平起平坐。

無論是因為愛，還是因為無知，這位母親在他兒子甦醒後所做的唯一的一件事，就是剝奪他兒子的生機。

他醒來後還活了七年，植物人甦醒是多麼大的奇蹟。而這個母親沒有看到奇蹟，只看到限制。她所做的是要他安於這個限制，而不是突破這個限制。這七年，我以為正是這孩子從掙扎到屈服的過程。他的死等於完全 贊同了她母親對他的看法：他沒有未來，他的生命只是個拖累，他沒有資格做正常人能做的事，唯一應當有的生存方式是無聲無嗅，不要害人的活下去。

當有人讓我們相信了自己的生命毫無價值的時候，我真的不知道除了就死，他還能有什麼想法。

我決無意要懷疑或譴責這母親對孩子的愛。但是忍不住要想：腦痲痺患者孫嘉梁的母親如果也只看到這孩子的限制，那麼孫嘉梁不會成為聯考狀元。日本的「熊寶寶人」乙武洋匡，一生下來就無手無腳，如果他的母親只看到他的限制，那麼他不會成長成這樣富朝氣有幽默感的人。

你把你的子女當成什麼樣的人，他們就會變成什麼樣的人。

你用限制教導他們，他們就會學到限制。

HayBMum

mickeyma,

this is a very good sharing.  it leads me to reflect myself.

mickeyma

maxnew,

It is a great pity I missed the gathering with all of you! Hope you can arrange another gathering soon.  :
I have been terribly busy recently with the two kids and my work here in the office. My maid will come around mid of Feb. and I hope then things will be better then.
My boss and I had an annual talk last week, and I did not negotiate with him too much for the salary increase as before as I did not want to restrict myself to work too much. If he increases me much, he will expect more from me. But I need more time and energy for my son now. He was very supportive since July when my son's problem coming out, but still he spent 5 minutes to talk about my negative point in working: too punctual working hour. He could not point out any other negative point  
I asked him to spend 1 minute to appreciate my positive point such as bringing 2 million HKD profit to the company with only one particular customer.    And I told him for year 2005, I would go home very punctual still before 7:00pm (my working hour is 9:30am to 6:30pm). And he said nothing, but smiling and nodding his head.. Boss is boss, no matter how good they treat you...still...  

mickeyma

Maxnew,
I totally agreed with you reg. the long working hour vice efficiency in work. I stressed with him many times already every year when we have talking. By the way, my boss is German.
On the otherhand, when he talked to another really good colleague who worked here everynight till 8-9pm, he commented his overtime working was no use as not productive enough...    
They are just trying to find the weak pionts of staff in order not to increase too much salary. But at least, this little increase can cover my 2.5 times private ST training for my son, better than nothing.  :
I also tell him to appreciate staff's working instead of telling negative points only... But still : BOSS IS BOSS...  I am longing to run the Orphan House with Gigi2 and other mums here  

mickeyma

This is the dream of us! :