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教育王國 討論區 備戰大學 小學雞,港童和職業學生, 是誰之過?
樓主: tongyimtong
go

小學雞,港童和職業學生, 是誰之過? [複製鏈接]

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120178
41#
發表於 11-12-21 14:00 |只看該作者
回復 tongyimtong 的帖子

Learning of investment is neutral, depends on the objective - True value of money, saving, investment, asset protection, giving.........
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


23819
42#
發表於 11-12-21 15:05 |只看該作者
回復 701003 的帖子

701003,

我都遇到这类的课外老师, 谈不上的人, 我会马上讲拜拜, 唔好浪费时间!  讲起音乐, 想到Tiger Mom 个女Lulu 的violin 老师, 是非常优秀的音乐啟蒙老师, 可惜我找遍七八年都找不到, 最终跟音乐画上句号.  其实'Battle Hymn of Tiger Mom' 本书 佷好. 记述妈妈和孩子的成长!

annie

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


23819
43#
發表於 11-12-21 16:27 |只看該作者
回復 tongyimtong 的帖子

Tong,

養育子女,誰沒經歷摸索、錯誤、反思和改正的道路?我仍在不斷學習,盡量把錯誤減少。
***    ****    ****
我也是同道中人啊!  我跟外子和朋友谈起今天教育的缪误, 比你写的还要激昂啊, 或许是我常跟小女的玩伴相处,看着孩子成长,  今天有是越大越乖俏, 也有的变得佷浅薄, 当初每个孩子也是小精灵啊, 我真的不忍听到或看到任何对幼童含有贬意的用字.

来这边从仔仔爸的言词我学懂一点中庸之道, 本是万恶沉闷的公文练习, (我个女都唔种意), 落到仔仔爸的儿子手中, 变成有效的学习功具而已.  我们无需系甘猜测仔仔爸的儿子做人有几辛苦.  EQ高的孩子自有其学习之道.

记得你的第一篇原文是给Anchan 的, 不知有否特殊含意?  曾几何时我以为Anchan是妈妈, 看他这么细心地为孩子铺排出路, 都好想问他如此多关注, 孩子好易变左'裙脚仔'乎? 后来知道他是位爸爸, 倒觉得他很合适地当上儿子的mentor吧!  (小女最听爸爸的口水).  总之是阿爸种意参与而阿仔又听教就是最佳拍挡.  (听教不代表听话, 孩子应有其独立思维的).

「身教不及言教」是教育的金科玉律.  谢谢多番提点.  也是当头棒喝, 然而一些父母是受各方面因素未能及时配合和領悟, 大家也该予以同情和协助. 把孩子放到合适的稻田里, 也会进步的.  

annie










Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


23819
44#
發表於 11-12-21 16:37 |只看該作者
回復 awah112 的帖子

我也是上来跟大家学吓如何少D紧张!


12651
45#
發表於 11-12-21 21:08 |只看該作者
提示: 作者被禁止或刪除 內容自動屏蔽

Rank: 3Rank: 3


194
46#
發表於 11-12-21 21:09 |只看該作者
annie,

因為ANCHAN59的要求,我開了這個帖,在下仍等他的回應。

他是BK少有的家長,有學識、理性和有見地。在他的帖文內學了很多東西,希望他多給意見交流,當然更歡迎其他朋友。

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194
47#
發表於 11-12-21 21:14 |只看該作者
回復 ANChan59 的帖子

如果只存求知的態度學理財當然很正面。只怕大多數家長不是抱閣下的態度,只是想用錢解決自己的責任。我認識不少人一邊要子女上理財班,一邊對子女無理的奢侈品要求有求必應,上堂又有何用?

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194
48#
發表於 11-12-21 21:56 |只看該作者
回復 701003 的帖子

看到閣下的回應,真心感受到一個懂得愛子女的父母該有何態度。領我想起很多可憐孩子「被音樂折磨」的心酸故事。
例1︰一個父親是事業有成人士的男孩,他爸爸自己有8級鋼琴,家規定明,他一定要「最少」考到8級鋼琴。但他全無音樂天份,最後對鋼琴更恨之入骨。為了逃避,小孩患上「發展性障礙」﹐他拒絕長大。十多歲人,心智仍在幾歲的程度。

例2︰一個媽媽小時幻想當音樂家。媽媽因為家貧,自己無學過樂器。  長大後,雖然沒有大富大貴,總算小康之家。她強迫女兒學小提琴,但女孩對音樂全無興趣 。媽媽不斷把女兒和別人的子女比較,不停要她讀樂理、考音樂試和操練。家中成了母女二人的戰場,而音樂是導火線。母女二人更是仇敵。

音樂是良性娛樂,是陶冶性情、洗滌心靈的美事。上帝讓人類認識音樂,是對我們的祝福。

可是有幾多要子女學音樂的家長,會陪同子女欣賞音樂會;聽聽香港電台第5台的古典音樂 ;甚至一同討論音樂知識?

有幾多個每天勤練樂器的孩子懂得分什麼是「洛可可」、「古典」和「新古典」?

我每次欣賞香港管弦樂團的表演,總可惜有大量的空位。他們都是香港政府用納稅人的錢津貼的全職專業音樂家,在外國聽相同份量和級數的表演,是很貴的。

可借,我們的家長只把音樂作為考入名校的工具,錯誤扭曲音樂對兒童發展的意義。套用作家鍾祖康的說法︰「化神奇為腐朽」就是中國人的特性。   

Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14


120178
49#
發表於 11-12-21 22:53 |只看該作者
tongyimtong 發表於 11-12-21 21:09
annie,

因為ANCHAN59的要求,我開了這個帖,在下仍等他的回應。

You put me on the hot spot, I was working on a critical and personal issue and delay the sharing that I promised.
I spent two hours this morning to summarise different views from different contributors. I will conclude some views from you all and comment/share my views based on that. I also divide into different topics like:1. Value system;
2. Walk the walk vs talk the talk
3. Expectation management (Comparison)
4. ......
5.......



God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14


120178
50#
發表於 11-12-21 22:58 |只看該作者
Annie and Tong

Why you say so 「身教不及言教」?
I prefer 「言教不及身教」, because most people「講就天下無敵、做就有心無力」。

ANChan59
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Rank: 3Rank: 3


194
51#
發表於 11-12-22 11:09 |只看該作者
回復 ANChan59 的帖子

手文之誤,多謝指正。
正確應是︰言教不及身教

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


23819
52#
發表於 11-12-22 14:32 |只看該作者
回復 ANChan59 的帖子

tong 是手文之誤, 我是懒人, copy tong之句, 致错上加错!  请谅!

Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14


120178
53#
發表於 11-12-22 15:10 |只看該作者
Good, we are on the same page...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


23819
54#
發表於 11-12-22 17:27 |只看該作者
回復 ANChan59 的帖子

講就天下無敵、做就有心無力
***    ****  
有些家长会强调自己的孩子愚不可及, 教极都不懂, 间单实况是父母从未认真施教, 父母讲的是地球人行为, 过的是外星人生活,  孩子不患上精神病已是万幸.


Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


23819
55#
發表於 11-12-22 17:50 |只看該作者
回復 awah112 的帖子

十多年前我侄仔的情况跟你的也雷同, 还好去了英国, 爱上了science.  今天在我跟前还是像个小宅男, 但总算在大学做研究, 勉强是个科学家.
如留港连入大学也应有难度呢! 今天的孩子的選择真广阔. 要算是幸福了.

Rank: 6Rank: 6


5537
56#
發表於 11-12-23 20:42 |只看該作者
我想介紹這講座
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v ... outube_gdata_player

聽了後,不知大家會有什麼其他感想?

Rank: 5Rank: 5


1126
57#
發表於 11-12-24 09:07 |只看該作者
ppatzhu05 發表於 11-12-23 20:42
我想介紹這講座
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXxfdiBzPsU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

多謝!看完,教授實在道出了現今家長們的困局.

Rank: 6Rank: 6


5537
58#
發表於 11-12-24 10:39 |只看該作者
bbpj,
別客氣。
我看了之後,自己也了解多點。也很想跟其他家長分享內容的。
其實香港的家長及小童生活在現今的社會環境,都影響著我們,無論是家長的行為及小童的表現。作為家長,真的是要不斷學習及了解,再自己衡量如何帶領著我們的孩子一同的成長及生活。
之前的提供的link, 只是講座的第一部分,還有其他的我都會放假時再看

Rank: 5Rank: 5


1126
59#
發表於 11-12-24 11:03 |只看該作者
ppatzhu05 發表於 11-12-24 10:39
bbpj,
別客氣。
我看了之後,自己也了解多點。也很想跟其他家長分享內容的。

"作為家長,真的是要不斷學習及了解,再自己衡量如何帶領著我們的孩子一同的成長及生活。"

對!!社會環境真的轉變了很多,今天的家長面對的衝擊也不小,我們要好好反思如何帶領孩子成長,同時對別人亦多點體諒,其實很多家長都面對着一個很大的困難,還未找到出路.
係,link只係1/7,我昨晚看到6/7,教授將這個社會現象解讀得好詳細.



Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14Rank: 14


120178
60#
發表於 11-12-24 14:39 |只看該作者
本帖最後由 ANChan59 於 12-1-5 00:09 編輯

Part 1

I encourage tongmingtong (tmt here and after) to restart this post, as I know his remarks will redirect the whole discussion to different scope. Personally, I prefer not to hijack others posts, if I anticipated the discussion may be off-topic.

I planned to reply on most remarks from all web pals early this week, due to other engagements and I need to delay the reply. Moreover, I try to answer tmt’s remarks one by one, as time goes by, other web pals echoed or provided different views to address tmt’s remarks and frustrations. So, I will share my views in a more general perspective to echo, share different views or provide some practical tips based on my personal or friends’ experience. I am not an expert in parenting and education, but we love my son, we are willing to learn, listen, analyse, decide, action, review and move on…...

Here we go…..

1.        Parents duties and responsibilities
Proverbs 22:6 - Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
箴言 22:6 - 教 養 孩 童 , 使 他 走 當 行 的 道 , 就 是 到 老 他 也 不 偏 離 。

In my previous posts, particularly on EMI vs CMI and PDCA, I used certain paragraphs to address the importance of parents in the development of our dear children. Open communication, unconditional love and family relationship……… are crucial to our children’s development. From the news and mass media, I have the feeling more and more parents pass the “Royal Responsibilities” to school, teachers, maids, educational officials, internet, tuition centres, churches, pastor ….. and not ourselves.

I took some seminars related to parenting, emotional management…. from Professor Wong Chun Kwong (黃重光教授) before his private practice. Through his series of seminars, I learnt a few insights from him and his research:

a.        Our children are our mirrors (Self-reflection) – if I feel my son has some bad habits which upset me, before teaching or punishing him, I need to review my habits, he just followed my habits that I don’t realize……. Or from other family members, peers, school environment……
E.g. Once, I complained to a utility company, the customer service couldn’t catch my issue, my voice getting louder and louder, my boy pull my hand and whisper to my year “Don’t be mad, if he can anticipate your issue, he may be a manager. Talk to his supervisor instead.” I was shock, my misbehavior in the public was a terrible example, his soft remark made me felt bad and on the other hand, I am joyful of his maturity & EQ ……

b.        Empathy (同理心) – 「the identification (識別,一體感) with or vicarious (同理的) experiencing of the feeling, thoughts, etc. of another」、「the imaginative ascribing to an object of one’s feeling or attitudes」.
Seven steps of Empathy
1.        Ask open questions; 2. Slow down; 3. Don’t jump into conclusion; 4. Pay attention to body language, 5. Learn from experience and mistakes; 6. Story telling; 7. Boundaries
The 2nd example in [c] demonstrated part of empathy.

c.        Concrete brain (石屎腦) of kids – Kids below certain age, it’s difficult for them to comprehend certain concept. E.g. we can ask a kid about two glasses of milk with different liquid levels, they have the same volumes but in two glasses with different diameters, the kid will pick the glass of milk with higher liquid level. Another example, when my son was at P5, one day after the English teacher gave back his exam paper. During paper review, my son and 5 other boys discovered that some model answers are either wrong or may have alternative answers ….. They were aggressive and cornered the teacher in the classroom, she couldn’t manage them until the discipline master stepped in and penalized all 6 boys ……. My son really upset and called me once back home, we discussed about the whole case with him after dinner. My wife tried to explain to him, the poor standard of exam model answer was an important issue, but he needed to complain in a tactful manner and respect the teacher in whatever circumstance, don’t just focus on the right or wrong of the model answer. Then, my wife drafted a polite and comprehensive letter to the English teacher and English subject master to explain the whole case from different angles (model answers, student behavior, quality assurance of papers, classroom management….), we would like to meet with them after the Parents Day. Next day, the principal called my wife in the evening and explained the case and accepted some fair suggestions from us and also counter-proposed other alternatives. So the next day, my son and other boys said sorry to the English teacher on the misbehavior after class and stood firm about the model answers…….. We know he learnt a lot from this case and reflected in other cases in different scenario.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
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