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本帖最後由 ANChan59 於 12-1-5 00:09 編輯
Part 1
I encourage tongmingtong (tmt here and after) to restart this post, as I know his remarks will redirect the whole discussion to different scope. Personally, I prefer not to hijack others posts, if I anticipated the discussion may be off-topic.
I planned to reply on most remarks from all web pals early this week, due to other engagements and I need to delay the reply. Moreover, I try to answer tmt’s remarks one by one, as time goes by, other web pals echoed or provided different views to address tmt’s remarks and frustrations. So, I will share my views in a more general perspective to echo, share different views or provide some practical tips based on my personal or friends’ experience. I am not an expert in parenting and education, but we love my son, we are willing to learn, listen, analyse, decide, action, review and move on…...
Here we go…..
1. Parents duties and responsibilities
Proverbs 22:6 - Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
箴言 22:6 - 教 養 孩 童 ， 使 他 走 當 行 的 道 ， 就 是 到 老 他 也 不 偏 離 。
In my previous posts, particularly on EMI vs CMI and PDCA, I used certain paragraphs to address the importance of parents in the development of our dear children. Open communication, unconditional love and family relationship……… are crucial to our children’s development. From the news and mass media, I have the feeling more and more parents pass the “Royal Responsibilities” to school, teachers, maids, educational officials, internet, tuition centres, churches, pastor ….. and not ourselves.
I took some seminars related to parenting, emotional management…. from Professor Wong Chun Kwong (黃重光教授) before his private practice. Through his series of seminars, I learnt a few insights from him and his research:
a. Our children are our mirrors (Self-reflection) – if I feel my son has some bad habits which upset me, before teaching or punishing him, I need to review my habits, he just followed my habits that I don’t realize……. Or from other family members, peers, school environment……
E.g. Once, I complained to a utility company, the customer service couldn’t catch my issue, my voice getting louder and louder, my boy pull my hand and whisper to my year “Don’t be mad, if he can anticipate your issue, he may be a manager. Talk to his supervisor instead.” I was shock, my misbehavior in the public was a terrible example, his soft remark made me felt bad and on the other hand, I am joyful of his maturity & EQ ……
b. Empathy (同理心) – 「the identification (識別,一體感) with or vicarious (同理的) experiencing of the feeling, thoughts, etc. of another」、「the imaginative ascribing to an object of one’s feeling or attitudes」.
Seven steps of Empathy
1. Ask open questions; 2. Slow down; 3. Don’t jump into conclusion; 4. Pay attention to body language, 5. Learn from experience and mistakes; 6. Story telling; 7. Boundaries
The 2nd example in [c] demonstrated part of empathy.
c. Concrete brain (石屎腦) of kids – Kids below certain age, it’s difficult for them to comprehend certain concept. E.g. we can ask a kid about two glasses of milk with different liquid levels, they have the same volumes but in two glasses with different diameters, the kid will pick the glass of milk with higher liquid level. Another example, when my son was at P5, one day after the English teacher gave back his exam paper. During paper review, my son and 5 other boys discovered that some model answers are either wrong or may have alternative answers ….. They were aggressive and cornered the teacher in the classroom, she couldn’t manage them until the discipline master stepped in and penalized all 6 boys ……. My son really upset and called me once back home, we discussed about the whole case with him after dinner. My wife tried to explain to him, the poor standard of exam model answer was an important issue, but he needed to complain in a tactful manner and respect the teacher in whatever circumstance, don’t just focus on the right or wrong of the model answer. Then, my wife drafted a polite and comprehensive letter to the English teacher and English subject master to explain the whole case from different angles (model answers, student behavior, quality assurance of papers, classroom management….), we would like to meet with them after the Parents Day. Next day, the principal called my wife in the evening and explained the case and accepted some fair suggestions from us and also counter-proposed other alternatives. So the next day, my son and other boys said sorry to the English teacher on the misbehavior after class and stood firm about the model answers…….. We know he learnt a lot from this case and reflected in other cases in different scenario.
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發表於 11-12-21 14:00
