Hello, Dr.T speaking...

人魚公主

Dr. T,

我囡現年3歲, 有次無影踪比我見到佢以下情況, 請教我如何處理 :
每晚我囡都會抱住抌頭睡覺, 每當就入睡時, 夢夢濃濃地拿主抌頭放在下體, 仲有擺動, 但我發覺唔都對路, 於是乎我叫醒她問, 妹妹你仲乜事啊, 點解你會攬住枕頭咁樣既, 佢答我有細菌, 咁樣會好舒服囉! 我諗以前都有類似情況發生, 但我沒有留意. 現在我自己解決係盡量分散佢注意力, 等佢唔好有這個行為, 但我想問你小朋友只得3歲 , 就這樣是否正常, 我要帶她睇心理醫生嗎? 還有都唔知點算好.............

Dr.T

人魚公主 寫道:
...我想問你小朋友只得3歲 , 就這樣是否正常...

是正常的(見下列可能原因)-希望以下文章幫到你,老實說我未必能夠解釋得那麼清楚扼要-

***
[源自台灣勵馨基金會,一個類似香港護苗基金的志願機構]

兒童經由碰觸去瞭解環境，也經由碰觸身體來認識自己。

當我們發現兒童有碰觸自己性器官的情況時，一般的猜測有以下幾點供您參考：首先是娛悅，兒童在偶然間或許是騎木馬或許是攀爬椅凳時發現，碰觸到兩腿之間的感覺和碰觸到手、腳的感覺非常不同，不但不同，還會有一種娛悅的感覺，為了能經常擁有這種娛悅，於是兒童會主動的、刻意的碰觸兩腿之間，目的很簡單：讓自己喜悅；其次是細菌感染，兩腿之間是「大大」和「尿尿」的地方，若擦拭不乾淨，很可能會滋生細菌而發癢，小朋友有可能為了止癢而去碰觸性器官。

另外的可能聯想是兒童穿得小褲褲，小褲褲太緊了會造成兩腿之間的不舒服，為了趕走這些不舒服的感覺，他/她有時會拉扯兩腿之間的內褲或外褲；再來的多點猜測是模仿，意思是小朋友可能看見了別人碰觸性器官而覺得有趣於是依樣畫葫蘆的模仿；最後的可能，也是比較令人擔心的可能是有人曾經碰了小朋友的性器官部位，也就是小朋友遭受了性侵害。

如果兒童是因娛悅而碰觸性器官的話，教導的重點在隱私處的觀念，例如公開碰觸性器官的適當性等；如果是因細菌或小褲褲太緊帶來的不舒服，那麼大人該進行的是就醫或更換鬆緊適合的衣褲；而如果小朋友是因模仿而出現的行為，則家長和老師們得多去注意和瞭解。

建議老師不論學生是因為什麼原因碰觸他/她的性器官，大人的態度都以不驚嚇兒童、不造成兒童的罪惡感為原則，學齡前的兒童對性不瞭解、需要大人適性、適發展的協助，或許這是老師教導學生認識身體、認識性別、認識自我保護的好時機。

Dr.T

你打了...yahoo."d"om.hk

原件打回頭,已修改地址再寄出

caroleks 寫道:
[email protected]

人魚公主

Dr.T,

我己在家庭計劃指導會買左一套德德家家的性教育, 給她睇, 及解釋給比聽, 但情況沒有幫助, 我需否帶她睇心理醫生嘛! 或者我可以從什麼途徑去做?

Dr.T

1. 沒有幫助的原因是有關教材的目的是令小朋友得到正確的性知識,而非減低或終止家長們心目中的不當行為

2. 我覺得約見心理學家/輔導員的主要目的並非針對小朋友的行為,反而是協助你處理小朋友的"問題"...因為可能只有親身觀察你和孩子的互動,才能告訴你在細節應如何做才能"改善"孩子現時的行為.

人魚公主 寫道:
1...買左一套德德家家的性教育, 給她睇, 及解釋給比聽, 但情況沒有幫助
2... 我需否帶她睇心理醫生嘛!

人魚公主

Dr. T,

唔該晒你!

ALAL

Thank you Dr T for your advice on schooling. I have not met any professional so far that is so nice, helpful and able  as you.

Longlongmom

Hi Dr. T,

Would you please send me the article on Omega 3?

My email address: [email protected]

Thousand thanks.

  

pamam

Dr. T,

Thanks for your info re omega 3.

Are all these supplements the same thing as the S brand fish liver oil in the old days?

I started to wonder one thing, when I was a child, I have some white spot on my arms, the govt dr. gave me some fish oil and asked me to take it everyday, I hated it and didn't take it at all.  I know it may be a silly question, but would it possible it's the mom who lacks omega 3 which cause her children to be asperger or something? I am concerned because my younger son(2.5 yrs old) also is speech delay, lack of eye contact and do not like playing with other kids. I am worried sick that he may also be asperger! Any advice?

Pamam   

Dr.T

由於我並非醫生,只是一個教育心理學家,不敢越俎代庖回答這些問題...但我也對這個題目有興趣,所以會搜集一些研究資料稍後向各位匯報

pamam 寫道:
...Are all these supplements the same thing as the S brand fish liver oil in the old days?...would it possible it's the mom who lacks omega 3 which cause her children to be asperger or something?  

Dr.T

同李生同場出現,真係"該煨" ...但老實說今次佢又講得幾有sense...

***
無力控制情緒易有過激反應 (太陽報  26/04/2005)

【本報訊】臨床身心行為學家李寶能稱，成績好亦未必懂得管理情緒，當孩子承受壓力，而家長及老師未能察覺，到其情緒壓抑至頂點時，只要受到些微刺激都可能會失控，以大叫大跳來發洩。李建議，家長和老師應先找出孩子的壓力來源，再教育部導他們如何協調情緒和行為。

教室育心理學家鄧澔明博士則表示，孩子面對不太嚴重的處境，卻有過分激烈的反應，可能與其情緒智商有關，控制恐懼和憂慮等情緒的能力較弱，受到壓力時比一般人容易失控。鄧指出，這類孩子在平日處事應會露出端倪，例如比較衝動和容易發脾氣，老師在他們犯錯後，應向他們明確指出錯在何處、受甚麼懲罰及如何改過，以免他們胡亂猜度，因太過擔心而情緒大爆發。

dleelm

Dr.T,

我女女現在2歲9個月, 在2歲時做了評估,除了speech delay 大約1年外,其他表現正常, 我女由兩歲3個月開始見語言治療師, 每月見一次30分鐘, 另外我比女女返幼兒園, 現在女女可講短句, e.g.我食橙, 媽咪陪我, 我要玩車車, 我唔開心…, 不過好多字發音不準, 但語言治療師話已有大進步.
雖然女女語言有進步,近來三四個月,我又發覺有其他問題:-
1. 女女好像對事物的專注力不太長久,好快被其他事物吸引,
2. 好細膽, 對聲音極敏感, 顯得十分害怕, 有時不太大聲都會話好嘈.
3. 做任何事不太主動(包括說話),一般要有鼓勵才做.
4. 唔知女女是否無安全感,就算去公園亦不主動興其他小朋友玩, 要我陪伴左右, 對我非常痴身,
5. 對藍色又十分執著, 如果物件有得選擇的話,女女一定選藍色, 有時會因為無藍色而哭鬧. e.g. 要穿著藍色衣服.  
對於女女近期的表現, 請問算唔算有問題?

Dr.T

Dear Pamam,

關於Omega-3的功能的研究,尤其針對自閉症的,可在以下網頁的資料庫找到:
http://www.autismwebsite.com/ari/index.htm

至於你擔心會否因為你當初怕吃魚肝油,而引致小朋友有Asperger的可能性,相信暫時不會有研究可以証明此點--老實說,有多少人小時候會自動自覺吃那麼腥的東西??相信吃/不吃魚肝油但有自閉症/Asperger的小朋友的家長機會是均等的.

暴龍媽咪

Thank you Dr.T

佢係思考型, 相信會適合佢, 但佢比較難捉摸佢心路, 例如上星期才發現佢打左900個D電話, 十幾廿次, 成千幾蚊呀(條肋骨依家仲赤赤痛!!!), 我當佢面撥電話, 比番佢聽, 問佢知唔知要比錢, 佢個樣好有悔意咁話知, 但係我 FEEL 佢未服, 而佢平時見到電視既親熱鏡頭, 佢會掩住對眼(我覺得佢係比我地睇), 由於佢同哥哥既性格,思想好迂迴, 而且又係女仔, 今年才得10歲, 我驚教得過火, 應該點教, 又擔心自已反應過急, 可能我唔知佢地係高人會無咁大反應架, 因為我好擔心佢地領悟既速度。

多謝 Dr.T 教導

Dr.T 寫道:
似乎小朋友的問題是衰衝動,一諗到就要做,而並非單純"資優"人士獨有的情況
除了日哦夜哦外......

pamam

Thanks Dr. T.

Pamam

HelenMrs.Lau

Dr.T 寫道:
無力控制情緒易有過激反應  

我阿女就係多數衰哩樣。成日同我講話明白個道理，但係控制唔到自己，所以經常犯錯     

gigi2

Dear Dr. T,

I have received the call from my girl’s kindergarten again which made me very depressed.  The teacher said that my girl still turned on the kettle without switching off to make the floor wet.  She kept on scribbling or drawing in mess when doing the writing exercise in class.   Much worse, she drew the color on table.  She kept on falling down while queuing so that the classmates behind her all fell down at the same time.  The teacher scolded her and told my girl that she was not happy about her behaviour in this way but my girl seemed did not know or was aware about her anger.  The teacher thought that my girl did not understand what the anger was but I said no.  I told the teacher that the current problem between the school and the family was exactly like this.  Her performance was bad at school which the teacher all knew but we did not see that.  Her good performance at home which we all knew but the school did not see that.  The teacher said that she was not going to complain but she wanted to tell me about her bad behaviour for these several days.

Honestly, I feel very much stress with this.  I am very tired about the call again and again.  The teacher said that my girl should be in small group and that’s why she believed that her performance was better in Heep Hong or at home because of the tutor ratio was higher.  I really don’t know how to respond to her teacher again.  She is good but I feel very stressful to receive the calls from kindergarten or maybe I am so sad to hear about her performance in class again.

I only can say a word finally to the teacher,’Then let the school meet Heep Hong fellows in May and tell me and my girl what we should do next step!’

Any comments from you?


:cry:  :cry:  :cry:    

Sing

Dear Dr. T,

Could you please send Omega 3 info to me, I hve pm my email address to you.  Pls check pm

Many thanks
Sing

Dr.T

1. 只有2歲多,專注力是不會太長久的
2. 可能只是吸引注意而學習得來的反應,要多觀察一段時間才能決定是否異常的行為
3&4 自信心是與身體各部肌能發展相輔相成的,可能她自覺口頭表達不如人,便會出現你描述的情況
5. 這便是她表現主見的機會...外國人話齋-terrible two嘛!

dleelm 寫道:
1. 女女好像對事物的專注力不太長久...
2. 好細膽, 對聲音極敏感, 顯得十分害怕, 有時不太大聲都會話好嘈.
3. 做任何事不太主動(包括說話),一般要有鼓勵才做.
4. ...就算去公園亦不主動興其他小朋友玩,...
5. 對藍色又十分執著...有時會因為無藍色而哭鬧...

pamam

After reading the omega 3 article, I have started feeding my son cod liver oil today, since it would not be harmful to him, it's worth trying.