我仔成日講大話...懷到透...點算好

j-ma-ma

Three weeks before, I found that my daughter did not do the supplementary Math exercise but copy answers directly.  I know that because there is no draft work.  I scold her.

A week later she did the same.  This time she put is draft work.  I know she is telling lie because the draft work was not correct either.  This time I cry in front of her.  I told her how much I care of her, how much time I spend to help her.  But result, she is thinking of all methods to trick me.

It seems that she get my message now.

Mami_mi

佢解釋唔刷牙，唔洗頭就係因為懶。
唔做功課又係因為懶，
我一路有陪佢做功課
睇住佢用電腦
老師都話我跟到佢好好
但係我個仔就成日想自已去做，自已去闖
但前排試過放手佢自已做，點知係亂晒大龍
又唔做
所以我就話佢依家未獨立到，要媽咪跟番功課。
連刷牙我唔睇住，佢可以即刻閃左去訓教

Mami_mi

[quote]
Yesmee 寫道:
非常同意wunma的見解 !!

我們可能係用錯方法 !

我大仔 (11歲) 以前都係好像 mami 個仔咁, 一個大話 cover 另一個大話, 永不悔改, 最離譜係一件好小既事, 如:問下佢擦左牙未, 佢都可以講 大話...好多次激到我咸      

我諗: 長此以往下去, 對佢對我都唔好, 後來我真係好好咁反醒下自己, 唔再咁惡對佢, 同佢約法三章, 無論佢做錯咩事, 冇做功課, 比老師罰...佢都一定要同我講, 我答應佢我一定唔再罵佢, 當然, 與此同時, 佢都要答應我, 好好約束自己, 唔好再明知故犯.  總之, 萬事有商量, 一定要大家亙相信任, 建立一個良好的關係.

之後, 佢既表現都好令我滿意.


[quote]


我舊年用過依個方法，跟住佢每次做完錯事返黎就說：我做錯左，對唔住，你俾機會我喇。
我俾機會佢去改，冇鬧，後黎試多幾次佢又犯，
我就罰佢冇得睇電視....
依家我會再試過叫佢乜都要講出黎，
但真係唔追究佢犯既錯？ :cry:

我俾佢激到cry 又試過我想離家出走
都係想下，點會真係想離家唔理佢

polarbear22bear

Hi Mami_mi,

Do you always nag on him? If that's the case, you should give me some freedom or privacy.  Trust him and update his work by just checking it yourself. List down all the mistakes he has done wrong during the day and let him sort out by himself.

Hey do you know his favourite things? Like things he always wants you to buy?  Make compromise and he will follow your way.

Mami_mi

KK 寫道:
想問下他是獨生子嗎？是否周圍有好多野吸引住佢？e.g遊戲機、單車、電視、……
可以嘗試去學校接觸社工、班主任協助嗎？
一定要認真正視問題，五年級了，程分上中學的！
大話=逃避，上學唔開心嗎？

係呀，得一個仔，
但weekday 一向都冇得踏單車，睇電視。
佢有時話我樣樣要睇住佢，所以唔鐘意，
但唔檢查佢既野，佢又真係唔會自動去做
我都好擔心報分既試
依家又行為上咁
我人都顛，
擒晚又訓唔著
老公剩係識話唔好 o咸 :cry:

Mami_mi

j-ma-ma 寫道:
Three weeks before, I found that my daughter did not do the supplementary Math exercise but copy answers directly.  I know that because there is no draft work.  I scold her.

A week later she did the same.  This time she put is draft work.  I know she is telling lie because the draft work was not correct either.  This time I cry in front of her.  I told her how much I care of her, how much time I spend to help her.  But result, she is thinking of all methods to trick me.

It seems that she get my message now.

個日佢又俾老師寫手冊，我都冇出到聲，但眼淚就係咁流出黎
佢都有拎面巾俾我，但第二日又黎有投訴

cameo

其實又唔洗真係要陪住佢做功課,我女由k.1開始我已嘗試由佢自己做好,完成左,先俾我對,或有問題先搵我......
而你個仔都話想自己去做,你可以"放手",但又唔可以"放晒手"囉,始終你知佢程度去到邊,"放手"之餘都要有適當協助,否則佢"自己攪到亂晒大龍",久而久之真係會無心再做落去~
其實佢未必真係懶o既,或者佢對某d事欠缺左信心所以無衝勁去做好~
有時留番少少d空間俾佢可能效果會好d都唔定,但又唔可以一下子放得太鬆,正如刷牙,你可以先提晒佢幾點鐘前刷牙,到時到候咪望吓佢有冇做到囉,冇做到咪再提囉,唔洗真係要望住佢刷o既,總之要佢閃入房前做左咪得囉~~個道理其實同做功課一樣~~~
佢唔係無得教o既,只係等緊你去俾信心佢,等你俾到認同佢啊!

Mami_mi

polarbear22bear 寫道:
Hi Mami_mi,

Do you always nag on him? If that's the case, you should give me some freedom or privacy.  Trust him and update his work by just checking it yourself. List down all the mistakes he has done wrong during the day and let him sort out by himself.

Hey do you know his favourite things? Like things he always wants you to buy?  Make compromise and he will follow your way.

佢話做晒先俾我檢查，唔好陪佢做功課，咁 ok la
擒晚檢查完，我摷下書包，原來又收埋本中文唔做，
重係欠埋前次既，有幾版之多，
如果我唔摷，佢又會欠……
我放鬆 d 佢又欠多 d .....
佢每星期如果冇犯錯我都會獎佢小禮物
咁點解佢重要咁....
我都想搵社工傾下

Mami_mi

cameo 寫道:
其實又唔洗真係要陪住佢做功課,我女由k.1開始我已嘗試由佢自己做好,完成左,先俾我對,或有問題先搵我......
而你個仔都話想自己去做,你可以"放手",但又唔可以"放晒手"囉,始終你知佢程度去到邊,"放手"之餘都要有適當協助,否則佢"自己攪到亂晒大龍",久而久之真係會無心再做落去~
其實佢未必真係懶o既,或者佢對某d事欠缺左信心所以無衝勁去做好~
有時留番少少d空間俾佢可能效果會好d都唔定,但又唔可以一下子放得太鬆,正如刷牙,你可以先提晒佢幾點鐘前刷牙,到時到候咪望吓佢有冇做到囉,冇做到咪再提囉,唔洗真係要望住佢刷o既,總之要佢閃入房前做左咪得囉~~個道理其實同做功課一樣~~~
佢唔係無得教o既,只係等緊你去俾信心佢,等你俾到認同佢啊!

係呀，我都盡量想做到平衡點，
我好想做到好 d ..
你講得岩，佢自已有興趣既野就會做到好妥當
今日接佢留堂放學我都唔會鬧佢
試下平心聽下佢有乜野想講我知

Mami_mi

To all..

好多謝你地意見
我講晒出黎都舒服好多
之前鬱住鬱住好辛苦

KK

或許你可能太過(由細到大)都幫佢做埋佢果份，
養成>>都有亞媽理，自己唔洗做，依賴！
可以同佢一齊改變下，要佢知道讀書是佢既責任，唔係亞媽去讀書，欠交得多，老師唔會找你(家長)傾咩？佢唔找你你找佢囉！相討下佢在學校的情況！家校合一，大家有溝通先有進步麻！找學校社工並不是一個嚴重的行為來架，大家傾下，或許對你自己都有一個洩氣的途徑呢！

問下亞仔：亞媽用真心去對你，你都要用真心去對人！講大話是唔好架，我成日對你講大話，你又有咩感想呢？
一家相處要坦誠！
或者同佢約法三章：放手俾佢做一個時期(一星期、二星期、一個月)看看由佢自己處理的野好D,還是由媽咪經手處理的野好D！大家比較下！
生仔容易，教養難！不要氣餒！努力呀！     

cameo

我會好明白你.....
我個女細細個都已經係一個大話高手~~~
兩歲時,佢講一個大話,我知道係大話,咁第一個反應係會好認真咁問佢"係唔係講真??"....佢會笑住話自己講笑~~
所以由細我自己有以身作則,因為我知自己都做唔到,咁後果會好嚴重呢~~~
有時我地對小朋友有期望真係好自然,我發現自己間中都會不自覺俾左壓力個女.
當然諗得要講大話咁梗係做錯左事,或者我地做父母o既真係不自覺咁俾過唔好o既反應佢(唔係單指鬧,有時一個失望o既眼神都可能對佢好大影響呢)~
我而家個女p.1,放學第一件事我問佢今日開唔開心?食唔食得晒d野?等等等等開心事,氹佢慢慢打開話題,佢有試過因為嘈被人記名,我只係問問佢點解,佢話自己嘈,咁我問完成件事唔會"只教佢下次唔好嘈",而係以佢角度去諗吓,係咪當時真係太開心所以玩得過份左呢??跟住教佢試吓控制下自己情緒,有時未必真係為左教佢"唔好嘈",而係俾佢知道"我係幫佢o架",所以佢會有心機同我講佢o既事,,,,
有時間中唔單止可以o係佢自己事情上俾適當決定權,我自己o既事,有時情況許何吓都俾女女參與意見~~~

Mami_mi

KK 寫道:
或許你可能太過(由細到大)都幫佢做埋佢果份，
養成>>都有亞媽理，自己唔洗做，依賴！
可以同佢一齊改變下，要佢知道讀書是佢既責任，唔係亞媽去讀書，欠交得多，老師唔會找你(家長)傾咩？佢唔找你你找佢囉！相討下佢在學校的情況！家校合一，大家有溝通先有進步麻！找學校社工並不是一個嚴重的行為來架，大家傾下，或許對你自己都有一個洩氣的途徑呢！

問下亞仔：亞媽用真心去對你，你都要用真心去對人！講大話是唔好架，我成日對你講大話，你又有咩感想呢？
一家相處要坦誠！
或者同佢約法三章：放手俾佢做一個時期(一星期、二星期、一個月)看看由佢自己處理的野好D,還是由媽咪經手處理的野好D！大家比較下！
生仔容易，教養難！不要氣餒！努力呀！     

我係由細到大都跟到佢好貼...
因為我同佢講過每件事都要盡晒力去做
要做到最好，唔好是是但但咁完成
可能咁就係俾左無形壓力佢
多謝你呀，我會抹乾眼淚再努力

Mami_mi

wunma 寫道:
[quote]

個日佢又俾老師寫手冊，我都冇出到聲，但眼淚就係咁流出黎
佢都有拎面巾俾我，但第二日又黎有投訴

Mami,

看來你個仔對你又不致於太差. 你有冇問過佢點解要咁激你? 乜原因要做到神憎鬼厭, 放棄自己? 試下傾下計, 了解下佢既所須所想.[/quote]

佢話忍唔住犯錯，
控制唔到，
我響佢本手冊每天都寫幾隻字鼓勵佢...

eg  : 努力改善
          三思而後行
         不要逃避責任
          要守規律

Mami_mi

cameo 寫道:
我會好明白你.....
我個女細細個都已經係一個大話高手~~~
兩歲時,佢講一個大話,我知道係大話,咁第一個反應係會好認真咁問佢"係唔係講真??"....佢會笑住話自己講笑~~
所以由細我自己有以身作則,因為我知自己都做唔到,咁後果會好嚴重呢~~~
有時我地對小朋友有期望真係好自然,我發現自己間中都會不自覺俾左壓力個女.
當然諗得要講大話咁梗係做錯左事,或者我地做父母o既真係不自覺咁俾過唔好o既反應佢(唔係單指鬧,有時一個失望o既眼神都可能對佢好大影響呢)~
我而家個女p.1,放學第一件事我問佢今日開唔開心?食唔食得晒d野?等等等等開心事,氹佢慢慢打開話題,佢有試過因為嘈被人記名,我只係問問佢點解,佢話自己嘈,咁我問完成件事唔會"只教佢下次唔好嘈",而係以佢角度去諗吓,係咪當時真係太開心所以玩得過份左呢??跟住教佢試吓控制下自己情緒,有時未必真係為左教佢"唔好嘈",而係俾佢知道"我係幫佢o架",所以佢會有心機同我講佢o既事,,,,
有時間中唔單止可以o係佢自己事情上俾適當決定權,我自己o既事,有時情況許何吓都俾女女參與意見~~~

咁你女女依家係咪已經改變晒呢？
我都學下你，佢放學後要關心下佢學校既情形
唔好催促佢做功課先...

Lovely媽咪

Mami_mi 寫道:
[quote]
KK 寫道:
或許你可能太過(由細到大)都幫佢做埋佢果份，
養成>>都有亞媽理，自己唔洗做，依賴！
可以同佢一齊改變下，要佢知道讀書是佢既責任，唔係亞媽去讀書，欠交得多，老師唔會找你(家長)傾咩？佢唔找你你找佢囉！相討下佢在學校的情況！家校合一，大家有溝通先有進步麻！找學校社工並不是一個嚴重的行為來架，大家傾下，或許對你自己都有一個洩氣的途徑呢！

問下亞仔：亞媽用真心去對你，你都要用真心去對人！講大話是唔好架，我成日對你講大話，你又有咩感想呢？
一家相處要坦誠！
或者同佢約法三章：放手俾佢做一個時期(一星期、二星期、一個月)看看由佢自己處理的野好D,還是由媽咪經手處理的野好D！大家比較下！
生仔容易，教養難！不要氣餒！努力呀！     

agree, 就算佢做得唔好,你都要試吓放手俾佢做,你吓吓都跟住佢,只會令佢越嚟越依賴,所以首先由你自己開始學吓放手,同要學吓放鬆自己呀!
:wink:

heifamily

Mami_mi 寫道:

我響佢本手冊每天都寫幾隻字鼓勵佢...

eg  : 努力改善
          三思而後行
         不要逃避責任
          要守規律

呢D好似唔係〔鼓勵〕喎？？似責備多D喎

eg. :好, 很好, Well Done, excellent 似D

Anyway, 你真係一個好媽媽，為個仔費盡心神，Excellent 加油呀

cameo

Mami_mi ,
我個女暫時都唔覺佢對住我講大話~對其他人就未必囉~
我會接受佢暫時忍暪我,就當俾少少時間佢諗吓點同我講自己做錯事呢~但就唔會接受佢講大話囉~有時小事佢會放學就頭dum dum同我講,大事可能都要小小時間先敢講o既!將心比己,我都會體諒要做得到都要多少勇氣o既!
其實如果可以嘗試唔以長輩語氣去同佢講野,咁會好好多,就當係識左一個年紀比自己細o既朋友吧,咁只會關心朋友,指導同鼓勵呢~因我相信小朋友慢慢大個仔大個女(特別你小朋友已經五年級了),會以朋友為先,唔止係一齊玩,亦會傾心事,亦會互相影響,若果父母同仔女都能夠似朋友方式相處,其實係好好o架,但要做得到都要花心機去多d留意小朋友喜好,正如我個女鍾意某個公仔某件衫,我唔一定要話好靚,.但只少我會知佢鍾意個公仔&件衫d乜野,唔一定要認同,但只少可以將大家喜好傾得到,就如同朋友傾偈一樣,!有時可以留意點解小朋友唔鍾意同你講呢,咪就係佢會覺得"同你講你都唔明o架啦!"~~~
我覺得你真係花左好多時間同心機o係個仔身上,其實只係可能用錯方法去溝通,唔好嘥左自己用o既心血,只要搵到一個好好o既溝通方法,相信好多問題都容易解決得多呢~努力啊!

Teresa

Mami_mi 寫道:

我都同佢講，你欠功課我會罰冇單車踏(佢最鐘意)，但掩飾罪行我會雙倍罰，已經講到口水乾.............

你講到口水乾.  但係, 你有冇真係"雙倍罰"??

你真係要講得出就做得到, 仲要清楚比佢知道"雙倍罰"有雙倍"代價".  我仔幼稚園時上個家長班, 導師話, d家長閙仔話"你信唔信我掟你出街"呢佢句, 如果係根本家長唔會咁做, 即係靠嚇, 咁個細路就一定唔會再聽你支笛架喇.