Is it unreasonable to ask "How was my kid today at school"?

Susu922

IS. Kid is approaching 3 yr old.

My boy has been with this teacher for 4 weeks.

This morning after I sent him to school, his teacher stopped me and asked whether I had one minute to talk.  I said yes. Then she said:"Can you tell your helper that, when picking up your kid, don't ask how he is at school?"  

I was shocked by this request.  I told her we as parents would like to know how our kid is.  Teacher replied:"I have 24 kids so I can't answer this type of question. And your helper is asking us - either me or the other teacher every single day."  (2 teachers, 24 kids)

Yes, the school has a communication book and Teacher would write once every two weeks, e.g., when my kid pushed another kid at school. But does that mean the parents shall not ask again when they see the teacher face to face?  

I also noticed for weeks that this teacher seldom has a smile, but I was told that she is very "strict" and good at teaching naughty boys. So I tried to convince myself don't bother.

In addition, 2 weeks ago, she told us "don't let your kid wear pants that has a button on it. He doesn't know how to button his pants after potty". I was not very happy at that time -- aren't teachers supposed to guide a 3 yr old how to improve his independent skills?  At least, she could have delievered this message in a nicer way, e.g., "please teach your kid how to button your pants at home" -- that's what we have been doing at home, and we hope his teacher can reinforce this at school too, as opposed to advising us to avoid buttons!

Am I too harsh on this teacher? I wanted to complain to the school - at least I hope this teacher could offer a smile when she sees the kids, but would that really help? Or apply to transferring to another class?  But there is no guarantee that the next teacher will be better. Besides, every kid sooner or later would meet some teachers that are not suitable for him - we can't transfer class every time so we probably need to face the problem.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?
   

菠蘿媽媽

日日問，係你工人自己想問或是代你問? 如果唔係你叫嘅, 咁就直接同工人姐姐講, 有咩事你會自己問老師/write in the communication book which is very easy and efficient way.
扣扭問題，簡單方便就最好, 快DVV完就洗手snack time.
我/老公每日都親自接送個囡, 但都唔會捉老師問野, 除非有特別事, 我會先寫在communication book, 等老師先了解我有咩問題, 到接放學時老師就會主動答 (其實老師亦已在communication book回應咗).
P.S. 我個囡成日著鞋都著錯(因為玩完sand pit), 成日因為咁跌親... 我親到老師會提我個囡, 但唔會幫佢手... 我覺得老師做得好好... 要小朋友自己學識!!
Hope you can find a better way to comminciate with school and teachers... cheer up!

elmostoney

Chinese parent don't complain??? That's a first.  I think the concerns of Chinese parents might just be different from Western parents, so the complaints might probably be of a different nature.  

hedonist

原帖由 caa 於 15-02-04 發表
其實樓主長篇大論只有投訴老師令她個人不快，而完全沒有提及孩子本身上學是否開心或是有任何問題，還想進一 ...

My friend who is a teacher at an international school here tells me, Chinese parents are so different from Western parents. They almost never complain and always think their kids have rooms for improvement. Honestly many times the problem rests on the other side.

hedonist

原帖由 Susu922 於 15-02-04 發表
本帖最後由 Susu922 於 15-2-4 09:51 編輯

IS. Kid is approaching 3 yr old.

I think the teacher is pretty rude. She probably doesn't like kids much and is clearly in the wrong career. That question is as normal as how are you today, and her answer can be as simple as "fine".

sharons

哈哈，有共鳴?

caa

其實樓主長篇大論只有投訴老師令她個人不快，而完全沒有提及孩子本身上學是否開心或是有任何問題，還想進一步指點老師

joys2334

有communication book 己足夠

caa

Susu922 發表於 15-2-4 19:06
Haha, yes:)

The previous teacher is American, very talkative and out-going. So completely differe ...

感覺樓主看老師是抱着顧客心態, teacher's job is not to entertain the parents. Whether the teacher being talkative with parents has nothing to do with he/she being a good teacher or not.

birdbird

<可以提醒家长在家多训练，而不是“避免穿带钮扣的裤子”。>

訓練小朋友用鈕扣, 是在家的訓練. 你給孩子上學3小時, 老師不是全程單對單照顧你的小孩. 老師亦不想因為個別小朋友執著要扣好褲子的鈕扣而延後整班的上課進程.  你還是給小孩一條橡筋褲子上學去... 直至你小孩運用鈕扣自如.

小兒上小學, 學校的西人PE老師跟家長說 有關鞋子的事. 大意如下:

"如果小朋友不會綁鞋帶, 就讓小朋友穿魔術貼的鞋子上學. 雖然老師很樂意幫小朋友綁鞋帶, 但我們沒有足夠時間照顧每一位小朋友. 而且, 我們怕小孩因為沒綁好鞋帶而摔倒"

當你站在老師的角度看事情, 你所看到的會不一樣.

964000

原帖由 sharons 於 15-02-04 發表
請問老師係英國/倫敦人嗎？

Haha, 重點

Susu922

sharons 發表於 15-2-4 18:10
請問老師係英國/倫敦人嗎？

Haha, yes:)

The previous teacher is American, very talkative and out-going. So completely different style.  

sharons

請問老師係英國/倫敦人嗎？

happy-kid

原帖由 Susu922 於 15-02-04 發表
本帖最後由 Susu922 於 15-2-4 09:51 編輯

IS. Kid is approaching 3 yr old.

每天問，仲要係every single day & every teacher, 真係有點煩。
當我小朋友以前上幼稚園，我會特意向公司一個月取半天年假，然後向學校報做parent helper. 自自然然便可留在課室，故小朋友K1~K2 的上課情況，我很瞭解。

964000

2:24師生比例其實很忙，真的不能要求太高。
至於老師態度，真係人夾人，我都希望自己小朋友會遇到錫佢嘅老師，遇吾到都冇法，但求小朋友不會攪到害怕番學就算了。
至於工人，人地跟本吾想招乎佢，不過個老師吾好老脾，最緊要對小朋友ok就算。

lui

原帖由 Susu922 於 15-02-04 發表
谢谢大家从不同角度的回复。

今天早上确实没有站在老师的立场上考虑。我想我今晚会在communication book里 ...

我想是老師的回應方式令你難受了，比着我也心裡不悅。觀察孩子是否愛上愛，愛便不用想轉班了。

Jane1983

至於笑容和擁抱，每個老師的style吾同，外國有些學校有hugging policy，好煩的....比較嚴肅的老師，亦可以係好老師。

Jane1983

工人日日咁問，似傾閒計多d，老師吾想entertain，好合理。放學咁多學生，老師又忙，家長識做都吾會日日問。

有鈕褲，小朋友未識扣，咁著無鈕的會方便d，上學半日3個鐘，個個小朋友用5分鐘搞條褲，仲點教學呢...