依然快樂 - 鄭丹瑞

talktime

原帖由 irischowys 於 13-02-11 發表
坦白說，若個老豆係有$人，D仔女做咩行業都可以少顧慮，做唔掂咪再讀其他科或子承父業。一般家庭，要諗埋份 ...

samuel89

laorenjia 發表於 13-3-13 21:04
我讚成Annie123所講嘅，以搵工嚟講，除非醫生、律師、工程師等職業，如果唔係，大學讀乜有乜所謂。講嘅一啲 ...

揾唔到好工係有人好過你，唔關你讀乜嘢事。但一般人卻倒果為因。呢句正

laorenjia

提高自己能力，英文叻啲，外型執正啲，講嘢得體啲，經歷有趣啲，全部同你讀乜冇關。

laorenjia

我讚成Annie123所講嘅，以搵工嚟講，除非醫生、律師、工程師等職業，如果唔係，大學讀乜有乜所謂。講嘅一啲都唔係風涼話。想喺商業世界撈更如是，揾唔到好工係有人好過你，唔關你讀乜嘢事。但一般人卻倒果為因。

annie40

她確是有說過林要做好學業成績才打球之類的話。其實我也覺得這樣說沒有什麼不對，是常理。
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不, 她是说做好學業成績,否则要调节练习量和练习时间!  
这点我是非常赞同的!!!!  

喂! 阿女, 你做事已经是裙拉裤掉, 忙到自顾无暇, 大想头是要努力培养实力的, 做人总要按部就班.  如果某方面是非常出色, 第二方面的学习便是举一反三, 用75% 时间就可以做得不错, 如是者, 第三样学问又更容易上手了.

问题是唔该首先搅好第一样有点'耍家'的学问, 如果凡事无呢耍家, 怕者打波都打唔到去边处烙?  这是正常逻辑, 不是阿妈看扁你?

annie40

我想我濫用了虎媽這詞，其實我只是想說她很嚴厲而已，對不起。  
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我周时四字成语都用错, 没关系的!  说得有文有理的, 通常是抄回来的.

能教养Jeremy 这样的孩子, 是爸妈的功劳, 不管方法何如, 必定有值得学习的大学问!

Jackieson

awah112 發表於 13-3-13 13:29
你所講的＂球王＂例子，我覺得球王和他父母都不對，應學下林書豪父母，＂你讀好書之後至可以打波＂。 ...

同意, 有時要衡量輕重, 緩急先後.

annie40

回復 awah112 的帖子

Thank you Awah!  It is a fantastic sharing!  I'm not religious, but really love to see people embracing to what they believe.  They are lucky.

The whole interview doesn't stress on  puting school work above playing basketball.  Instead, Mrs Lin reminded Jeremy to have a backup plan in career and still support him to chase his own dream at the same time.  

I don't believe Mrs Lin is a 'Tiger Mom'.  More likely people loves to use such derated negative title to describe those mommies having very successful sons/daughters so they would feel better and comfortable in their nutshell.  For me even Mrs Lin confessed that  she is a 'Tiger Mom', I would still say she is not an Ordinary Tiger Mom.  

annie40

回復 awah112 的帖子

你所講的＂球王＂例子，我覺得球王和他父母都不對，應學下林書豪父母，＂你讀好書之後至可以打波＂。
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记忆所及, 林書豪父母从没有这样说过, 在高考前两年, 只是提出林書豪打少一天练习波而已, 专心发力集中精神应付大学入学考试. 取个平行, 不是讀好書之後至可以打波, 非常八股的.

甚么是'你讀好書'的定义, 等到当上Adam Smith 乎, 发表经济规律的伟论后, 才去打'篮球乎?

如果林伯伯,林伯母真的这样说过, 就大大让我失望了!  

annie40

本事是靠双手創造出来的, 不是盘古初开的既定物事, 没有必要说定是谁有本事, 谁没有? 眼高手低的人如果肯改变(改变是最最难度高), 循序渐进, 有日亦可眼高手高吧.......Remember, test scores and measurement of acheivement tell us where we are , but they don't tell us where we could end up......

除非是眼高手低的人+逃避困难的性格, 这类人根本没理想, 跟积极有梦想的人是差天共地的. 绝不可混淆不清.  梦想....理想于他们, 只不过是为人惰懒, 逃避责任的借口......

家有女儿的父母, 记住教阿女看清楚, 不要選错郎, 男人名字叫李安的 是十分罕见啊!

cheung_chit

原帖由 annie40 於 13-03-13 發表
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Bill Gate is not my tea.  Being a very successful famous person, he must ha ...

Agree. Thx a lot.

cheung_chit

我明你的意思，有本事當然冇問題，行行出狀元，創一番事業。

但唔係個個話要追尋理想的人都真係有本事，很多是眼高手低的，很不幸，我所認識的家庭就「一門兩杰」，我不說他們真實的情況，因為他們的行頭細，費時陣間俾人identify倒，我打另一個譬喻，講佢地的情況：鍾意踢波，有本事可以踢歐洲頂級職業聯賽，但亦有人日踢夜踢都係本地業餘水平，但業餘水平人士認定足球才是他的理想同興趣，做唔倒職業足球員，其他工即使是兼職也不做，因為會影響他練波。如是者十幾年依然固我，咩都唔做，認為只要繼續練波自己終有一日做球王。佢父母就為了成就他的理想，早年積蓄已俾晒佢去外國學踢波，依家六十幾歲都仲要做，否則屋企飯都冇得開。如果呢位人士的屋企大把錢，當然冇問題，但現實唔係咁，最終此人把自己的快樂建築在家人痛苦身上，我不知有多少人認同呢種做法？

所以我覺得呢個「依然快樂」論，做唔做到，有時唔關乎係咪明個道理，仲要睇家庭情況，自己本身才能等因素是否配合。所以以鄭生背景講呢些說話固然輕鬆，我唔會覺得有咩咁特別。相反，若果有父母屋企環境唔係咁好，但不計回報成就子女，好似蘇樺偉媽媽咁，我會肅然起敬。你話我雙重標準都係咁話。

另外，如果本身有本事，跟著自己的興趣走，最終也會成功的。相反一些眼高手低的人，我認為屋企條件許可冇負擔佢大可以繼續，否則過左一段長時間都係沉沉下冇浮過上水面，應該諗下係咪要向現實妥協，除非佢諗住食綜援，否則生活問題都要解決。要堅持冇問題，但請不要身邊的人長期為你的快樂付出代價，這是十分自私的行為。

annie40

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Bill Gate is not my tea.  Being a very successful famous person, he must have widsom to share.  I did copy below to my daughter.  Probably it's good to share it to your children too.  #####

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

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最喜欢Rule 7, 这边不少妈妈也是如花似玉, 原本只得九十五磅, 有了孩子, 无情情多了三十磅,真冤枉!

annie40

Just copy something from the book I'm reading.  It's not my idea exactly.  But good to see other point of view.
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Question: With all your belief in effort, are you saying that when people fail, it's always their fault - they didn't try hard enought?

No!  It's true that effort is crucial- no one can succeed for long without it -- but it's certainly not the only thin.  People have differenct resources and opportunities.  For example, people with money (or rich parents)  have a safety net.  They can take more risks and keep going longer until they succeed.  People with easy access to a good education, people with a network of influential friends, people who know how to be ain the right place at the right itme -- all stand a better chance of having their pay off.  Rich, educated, connected effort woks better.

People with fewer resources, in spite of their best efforts, can be derailed so much more easily.  Teh hometown plant you've worked in all your life suddenly shuts down.  What know?  Your child falls ill and plunges you into debt.  There goes the house.  Your spouse runs off with the nest eff and leave you with the children and bills.  Forget the night school classes.  

Befor we judge, let's remember that effort isn't everything and that all effort is not created equal.  
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cheung_chit

原帖由 Annie123 於 13-03-13 發表
其實，我覺得鄭先生和梁校長，只是希望給孩子機會，發展興趣。
一個有本事的人，自然可以將自己的興趣，發 ...

俾孩子機會，發展興趣冇人會反對。我都覺得讀書唔應該只為搵錢，搵到自己興趣發揮，唔使發達一樣可以活得開心。所以我自己唔會諗住老左靠小朋友養，以免成為佢的負擔，希望佢可以無顧慮做自己喜歡的事，但前提係佢起碼要搞掂自己的生活需要，這是最基本的。

我唔係話佢地的講法唔岩，只係覺得你有條件梗係講乜都得。正如講話錢搵唔晒，做人唔應該淨係將時間用係工作，應該多些時間陪家人，有自己的興趣，享受生活，呢啲嘢冇乜人會反對，但唔係話你想做就做到。如果你將呢番說話同個每日做十幾個鐘，一家五口靠晒佢份糧開飯的清潔工講，等於問人何不食肉糜？