Too nervous, need consultation

leavetogod

My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that we don't even very familiar with). He has very good academic results. However, after gone through the P1 interview process. His results at this moment is not as good as I expected. Two schools have announced the 2nd interview result and he only got one. Even though the one he got is a pretty famous school, but I feel very frustrated as the one he failed is the one we think he is no problem to get in. What's wrong with him? I ask myself many many times and no one can answer me even myself. However, after attended  the 2nd interview, I have some idea. He feels nervous too and therefore he cannot perform naturally. I heard at the end of the interview that the principal told my kid " relax, don't be nervous" and laugh. Even though my kid told me that he did answer all the questions correctly, I feel depress at the spot as most of the school would like to choose those kids with confidence. He is confident but cannot show this during the interview? How come???How can I release my kid and let him performs who he is?Actually, all the 1st interview were passed and I can only wait for the results. One hand, I want to know asap and on the other hand, I'm afraid to know too.

[ 本帖最後由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 21:50 編輯 ]

makmak615

Your name is the answer you need.

Leave to God.   I will pray for you.

The problem is not with our kids, it is the system and our expectation.   

So far, we have not secured a place in any school, I still trust God will have the best arrangement for us.

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 16:03 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

smartmatt

原帖由 semideaf 於 09-11-11 14:23 發表
There is nothing much I can say except to share with you my own thought.  

I am currently undergoing the same P1 process.  So far news have been disappointing.  I applied 5 schools and so far only on ...

So true!  The whole process is draining on parents and kids.   I try very hard not to hurt my kids in anyway now or later.  

Getting into a famous school does not mean automatic great job / career, etc.  I've worked with and hired people from famous schools and my experience has been so and so.  I've colleagues with so and so backgrounds but do very well and go on to do extremely well by continuing their education and striding to do their best.  

Giving kids the right attitudes is probably more important.

littlefaith

原帖由 semideaf 於 09-11-11 14:23 發表
There is nothing much I can say except to share with you my own thought.  

I am currently undergoing the same P1 process.  So far news have been disappointing.  I applied 5 schools and so far only on ...

有學校取錄，已經比好多人好(有些朋友到現在連一個offer都未有)，何必強求？

很多時，我們會認為自己的小孩子很smart(基於自己、身邊的人等等)，但當眾多「smart」的小孩子都一窩蜂擁向熱門學校時，自然會出現「一山還有一山高」的情況。我報了三間學校，亦只有一間學校取錄。

若真的很想很想入讀某心儀學校，唯有叩門。但一切皆以平常心面對，就算叩門失敗還有退路，無謂令自己太緊張，不值得﹗

盡了己力，問心無愧。

semideaf

There is nothing much I can say except to share with you my own thought.  

I am currently undergoing the same P1 process.  So far news have been disappointing.  I applied 5 schools and so far only one accepted my son and that that one was originally a back up.  I tried to tell myself to take it easy thru out the process but it is really not easy.  It was just like a coach seeing his player performing really bad during a big event when he could have finished first.  (I am biased of coz.)

Yet, the more I understand the game, the more I think getting to whatever school have plus and minus.  In longer run, which outrun which is still hard to tell.

Good famous schools nowadays are all DSS or private and demands high tuition.  They did not turn DSS until recent years.  The tuition part, I am very please to pay if they accept me.  Yet, I sometimes do feel odd with the upbring of my kid in such environment.  For instance, my dream school will cost probably $10k per month.  To be able to avoid this tuition will mean whole class will be from middle class or up.  Will this create an distortion of what the real world is during their upbring?  (For this same reason, I did not apply for one of the most famous school around.)

In addition, most famous schools are competitive in learning but at the same time try to achieve fun learning.  Many of them have lesser homework and try to keep "studying" fun.  Yet, when I saw the pupils' work, the level of output and input does not match.  This implies parents have to actually teach themselves and do the "dirty work".  Will this be too much pressure for me to handle?  I am not sure.

Yet, again, I am not saying famous schools are bad.  If my dream school now accept my kid, I will be celebrating with fireworks.  However, I just hope to point out that what seems good now may not be really good in longer run.  What seems bad now may be good in future.  Only time can tell.

Now, I really leave the destiny of my son to who ever up there.  The more I look into current system, the more I know there is no black/white answer.  

I am hoping for the best and if the best don't come, it may be a blessing.

Take it easy.

Cheers.

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 16:03 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

mattsmum

after all these exercise and years after your child attending your dream school or non-dream school, you would find that it just does not matter. school only plays a part in children's education, your play a part and your children play their part.

cutekiddy

阿仔第一次面試後我同佢做賽後檢討,突然之間他眼睛紅紅,跟住眼淚就不斷流出嚟!我嘗試問佢点解唔開心,但係阿仔最終都話唔知道原因!嗰一刻我真係好心痛,係唔係我無形之中比咗壓力佢?就算我地大人去見工都會緊張有壓力,何況係一個5歲嘅小朋友?

我依家面試前唯一會做嘅,就係同阿仔講'老師問嘅問題你未必全部都識,但係只要你係盡咗力,爸爸媽媽都會好開心!有一樣嘢你一定要記住,就係爸爸媽媽永遠都o甘愛你!'

無論結果如何,我都會欣然接受!因為對我嚟講,最重要嘅係阿仔可以有一個快樂嘅童年!下年就到阿女報小一了,有咗今次經驗,希望下年同阿女可以從容面對!

tracytang

Very very touching!!!  Thanks for sharing.  

原帖由 SmallTungmama 於 09-10-22 09:16 發表
leavetogod,

當年我二少考小學時我同你一樣甘緊張, 因為我家大小姐已經入了一間我地的dream school, 而二少的資質比大小姐好(我自認為), 但當第一間學校出2nd In result 時, 榜上無名, 我當時與你一樣, 不斷問自己, ...

SmallTungmama

leavetogod,

我當年因自己的壓力在無形中給了囝囝, 雖然最後他都不負眾望入了心儀學校, 但當我每次見到有人post 出來關於這些問題時, 我便再次想起我囝囝當年的眼神, 我真的很後悔, 一個五歲小孩了為何要承受這無形壓力. 五歲小孩不是要開心的嗎? 我真的很心痛. 我不想這壓力再給我細女, 所以去年我輕鬆面對任何結果, 雖然結果有未盡如意, 但我和囡囡都好開心, 無壓力.

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-22 12:04 發表
Really thanks to all the advices. It's so touch and warm to have so many responses even though we don't know each other. It's a good platform to release myself.

I feel better now and will try my bes ...

leavetogod

Really thanks to all the advices. It's so touch and warm to have so many responses even though we don't know each other. It's a good platform to release myself.

I feel better now and will try my best to stay calm as I really love my son.

I learnt a great lesson. My son is a very mature and considerate little boy. How come his mother, me, is so emotional. Therefore, I will always remind myself that the most important things I can give him are love, care and guildance. Let's him walk his way.

I grow up with my son and he is my treasure forever.

Million thanks.

[ 本帖最後由 leavetogod 於 09-10-22 12:32 編輯 ]

andrewpapa

Leavetogod,

I think I know which school you have just gone thru the 2nd interview. (coz you can hear and watch your son, right?)

many friend here have told you how to calm yourselves, all those are correct.

One point I need to point to you, this small step is the start, everyone has a different started line, but the most important is who can run thru the finished line eventually.

I have heard so many kids in famous school end up with poor academic result.  Why? Too nervous both parents and child.

you have many years to walk with your childred, if you are panic, how can you lift up your son? don't question his ability.  

remember there is a poster with footprint on the beach.  God with lift you up when you have difficulties, so does you have to lift up your child.  the most important message in this poster is ---- confident and trust

work hard, hope your son can get into a school that he can live with.

If possible, see you in the school function you have just finished the 2nd interview lah

SmallTungmama

leavetogod,

當年我二少考小學時我同你一樣甘緊張, 因為我家大小姐已經入了一間我地的dream school, 而二少的資質比大小姐好(我自認為), 但當第一間學校出2nd In result 時, 榜上無名, 我當時與你一樣, 不斷問自己, 在那裡出錯, 就是因為自己的緊張, 加上姐姐入了一間女校, 而囝囝考政府學校跟本沒有分, 更加令我的壓力大增, 囝囝都感受到壓力, 在這日子真的很辛苦, 不斷叫自己放鬆, 但做唔到, 你的心情我很明白, 當年幸好我身有很多好朋友支持, 經常陪伴我, 最終都度過這些日子, 不要被一間學校把你嚇怕, 每間學校有自己的要求, 可能這不適合你囝囝, 不代表囝囝不標青, 重有很多選擇, 當年我囝囝除被這一間reject外, 其他間間都收他, 如今他已入讀了我地的dream school. 去年到我細女, 我已經董得放鬆, 雖然未能同姐姐同校, 但我地都已經努力左. 不要放棄, 希望在明天, 好消息會陸續來.

ETdad

Suggest jamesbond007 to go to church for more information or discuss religious issues in other post.
We are here to help one another for P1 interview parents.
Let’s encourage one another.

原帖由 jamesbond007 於 09-10-21 00:31 發表
Wootaitai:

I suppose you're a Christian coz you said you pray to God just now and I also suppose a Christian should love his or her enemy. Do you love your enemy or me?

Could you teach me how to pr ...

childrenfirst

leavetogod

Please take good care of yourself since this is quite a long battle. I think what you can do is trying to relax and maybe you can go out for a movie, have a day out in the countryside - anything that is not related to P.1 interview. When you are relax, your son will feel it and when he feels comfortable, he will has a better performance.

My son can read my emotions very well, no matter I am happy or not, he knows it at once. what i am doing now is completely put aside all the P.1 stuff until i receive the 2nd interview letters.