仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向 - 自閉寶寶

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教育王國 › 討論區 › 自閉寶寶 › 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

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樓主: 匿名	go 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向 [複製鏈接]

sstreet06

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發表於 06-6-1 14:55 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

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pamam

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發表於 06-6-1 15:40 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

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pamam

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發表於 06-6-1 15:41 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

You are not insensitive, you are just discriminating family with special children.

You come to this section(special education) to talk about adoption, of course you will come across more family with special children, whether they want to adopt or not. This is kind of oxy-moron.

I can answer honestly that I wanted to adopt even before I gave birth to my first child, but what do you care with your wicked mind. Believe what you want to believe.

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思佳媽咪

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發表於 06-6-1 15:42 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

I would like to point to you a fact that other than childless couple who want to adopt, many application cases came from family with "difficult-child" and all of these applications are turned down .........

不知這資料從何而來？抑或只是想當然？社署從不可能向外披露申請人資料，除非閣下是社署人士。暫時來說，我未識得有特殊孩子的家庭申請過領養，kawai 是第一個提出這想法的，她也未付諸實行，請別帶有色眼鏡看我們。

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Stockinette

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發表於 06-6-1 16:00 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

<QUOTE>
If they do not have a difficult child, would they still consider adoption? Answer to yourself honestly.
<QUOTE>

YES YES YES, if I choose to adopt a child it will have nothing to do with whether I have a special boy.  My love does not divide amongst my kids, rather it multiplies.

The "decision-marking party" has their own set of criteria but that can't be use to labelled parents with special child are incapable of having another kid.

I hate to see you use the word "difficult-child", we parents here do not have "difficult-child" so perhaps you posted to the wrong forum.

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hinhinmummy

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發表於 06-6-1 16:12 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

當初生左大女(正常)之後, 我同我老公都決定生多一個, 為的, 都係希望我兩佬去左之後, 有多個伴, 等佢兩姊弟/妹分擔, 做野可以有商有量, 雖然, 兩姊弟/妹感情可能吾會太好, 但都叫做血肉相連, 亦可能係大人的一廂情願, 但自覺, 如果諗得灰d, 生仔都係我們大人的一廂情願, 個小朋友大左, 亦可能會怪父母, 點解要生佢地出黎(吾好意思, 今日天氣麻麻, 個人好灰).

無論點都好, 每個人都有佢地自己的諗法/決定, 硬要將自己的諗法套去人地身上, 再歪曲原意, 實在無恥, 即係自己自私, 亦諗其他人一樣係自私..................

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稚言治語

別墅

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	661

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發表於 06-6-1 21:36 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

雖然我明白你所指的，一個家庭如果有一個需要特別照顧的小朋友，要領養小朋友未必獲批。不過從你兩篇留言的語調看來，似乎較帶負面的意思，而非好意的提醒。如果我誤會了你，煩請指正。

kawai的為人如何，我相信作為陌生人的你，並不符合任何批評的資格。我也不明白，為什麼要質疑別人的用心呢？我認識這對夫婦，絕對相信他倆不會自私地只為自己/子女的好處而領養孩子。事實上，他們知道大仔有問題後，仍選擇多要一個孩子，這是非常勇敢及有承擔的決定。

坦白說，我自己也不只一次告訴朋友：如果我有能力照顧一個小孩，我會選擇領養而非自己生一個(除非丈夫很堅決一定要有自己的骨肉)。理由是，我認為在這個世界生存太辛苦了，與其多帶一個人來這個世界受苦，何不盡力為一個已存在的人帶來喜樂？(我知道我這想法和教會的角度不同，但這是真心話，請各位兄弟姊妹多多包涵﹗)

我很同意hinhinmummy的話，人通常會以自己為reference，用自己的想法套入其他人身上。但我一直堅信，這個世界有很多好人，他們願意貢獻自己的所有，希望能為其他人帶來幸福。這樣的話，這個世界將更可愛﹗

sstreet06 寫道:
If they do not have a difficult child, would they still consider adoption? Answer to yourself honestly.

稚言治語 = 一個很喜歡治療小朋友語言問題的言語治療師﹗ ;-) 不要怕，只要信﹗希望在人間吖嘛﹗ 你今日微笑了嗎？

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HelloMelody2007

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發表於 06-6-1 21:49 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

Melody :sleep:

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kawai

別墅

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	725

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發表於 06-6-1 23:27 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

多謝大家丈義直言,沒想到那位路人甲會是如此這般歧視我們的孩子甚至家庭.事實上,領養兒童一事我們是抱著隨緣的態度.亦沒有考慮到社署會對有自閉兒童的家庭的審核資格竟跟路人甲有着相同標準.可能他真是在社署工作吧!其實路人甲的發言正正反映出有部份社會人仕對特殊兒童及家庭的歧視與誤解,我們明白現實是殘酷的,相信我們要再謹重考慮這計劃,免致拿出愛心卻被人作狗肺來踐踏.

pampam,

考合地也跟你一樣,收養兒童這念頭是我們未有大仔前已有,當時我們出外旅行,看見很多洋人夫婦手抱着名中国娃娃,感覺那些孩子很幸福啊!

思佳媽咪,

所為賽翁失馬,幸好您不求人,才會生了一名乖巧女兒.

chanchanboy,

當我知道仔仔有問題時,我即打电話比住美國家姐傾訴,她當時給我的安慰有如雪中送炭般温暖.此乃血脈相連,互相照應.最近收到這位家姐來电,她竟有如此勇氣再度有BB,女兒快7歲,她將會以44歲高齡再為人母.
聽到她及她女兒那興奮的声音,從此刻心信愛是天下無敵.

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HayBMum

別墅

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	646

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發表於 06-6-2 00:07 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

我相信我們這些有特殊孩子的父母更加懂得愛和尊重孩子們發展上的差異，可悲的是社會上多的是路人甲這類人，為我們、我們的孩子生活上蒙上陰影。

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katyfok

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	217

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發表於 06-6-2 01:37 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

After reading all of your ideas, I suddenly feel really glad. I'm glad we are in a free society where we're allowed to express freely ( not attacking).
I have no opinion about adoption since I've never given any thought about it... but I feel some of us can soften our choice of words a little bit here.
Like I said, we are here to say what we believe and everyone is entitle to their own opinion... we can either agree, or disagree.. and that's what makes our society so great, but there's really no reason for hostility.
Personally, after reading sstreet06 's , I don't think she 's ( or he's) discriminating against any one here. Is it because we are a little too sensitive here? Her points maybe controversial, and she maybe over generalizing "special moms" but to me, it takes a lot more to be considered discriminatory.
Anyway, it's just some of my thoughts!
Oh.one more thing,
Perhaps it's just coincident,
1. My friend who has a " A" boy in the States has finished her adoption process and is now waiting for a Chinese girl.
2. My sister -in- law in Canada who has a delayed child ( now 3 .5 but only in 1 yr old level) is now considering seriously about adoption too!

Just some facts here!

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gigi2

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發表於 06-6-2 09:17 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

Dear kawai,

I feel so touching with your thoughts and stories.

Sstreet06,

After reading messages, you are imprudent to jump into the final conclusion about the intention of kawai by your unproven record.  It is also very naive to generalize the purpose of a family with special need child to apply for another child adoption is to take care their own special need child. You seem don't understand that in this world there is nobody can guarantee whether the child will take care you in future when you are getting old – no matter they are adoptive or the child you born.

Your question from the 2nd message -  If they do not have a difficult child, would they still consider adoption? Answer to yourself honestly.

I also want to ask you how well you treat your parents?  Answer to yourself honestly.

那時我為得到這孩子祈禱，上主就賞賜了我所懇求的，所以我現在把他獻於上主，他一生是屬於上主的。（撒上：２７－２８）你教導孩童應行的道路，待他老年時也不會離棄。（箴２２：６）

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jj06mum

洋房

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	45

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發表於 06-6-2 18:00 |只看該作者

Re: 仍然無法接受仔仔患有自閉傾向

i hope i wont being adding fuel to the tension.  perhaps we dont have to be too judgemental or defensive over the adoption motive.  i assume quite some of the adoptions start off as a need for the adopting family, be it childless or some other reasons. its unfair to be judged simply because we have challenged children. but then maybe thats life. reality does bite.

i also thought about adoption before but dropped the idea largely because i dont think i am competent enough to look after 3 kids.  the responsibility involved would be far too overwhelming. so anyone who dare take the challenge should deserve a big applause for the courage. just think about the energy involved in terms of time, mind and money! even a selfish motive to begin with can not justify such a big input. i thought having some expectation of return is fairly natural.  being unselfish is noble but being selfish is also human nature and it does not necessarily make us a bad person. confucius says " ren bu wei ji, tian zhu di mie".  life progresses because of that.

i have never met kawai in person. my impression only comes from the biomed thread and one phone conversation. i am very impressed by her generosity and effeciency in sharing information and giving advice. lots of parents have been benefited.  she does come across to me as someone with a big heart.