小學雞，港童和職業學生，是誰之過？ - 備戰大學

途人

複式洋房

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回復 ppatzhu05 的帖子

一個很好的分享

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Part 2

2. Value system
Different person has different value system, my personal value system come from the teaching from my parents, teachers, peers, books, social classes, exposures, personal experience & mistakes and Christianity……… then massage together. It’s pretty unique to different person and not so easy to repeat. We can’t request others to follow or repeat our unique value systems.

Be open-minded, self-reflection, receptive, explore and validate different scenario, learn from experience and mistakes – that's what I learnt in the last few decades…..

Some decisions may reflect our value system:
a. Become church goers or baptized to get extra score;
b. Use false address proof;
c. What’s the real meaning of education?
d. What’s the real meaning of a family? Roles of father and mother…….
e. ………

My boy faced a moment of truth to pick one school out of two in an interview, he knew the answer from the teachers’ mind, he provided an honest answer and he was not selected in due course. After the interview, I asked him one question: Do you know the consequence of your answers? He said yes; and I am proud of him …….. He knows the true meaning of “Narrow door”……..

3. Walk the walk vs Talk the talk
As I mentioned in Part 1, our kids are our mirrors, their attitudes and behaviors reflects our parenting and values. If we want to be role models for them, we need to walk the walk, it may mean sacrifice, persistence, honor our promises…….

This Christmas I received the best gift I never have; my university awarded my higher research degree to me on 23rd [The main reason I delayed the reply to TMT]. I started the research degree years ago, in between I had many good reasons to quit, even my Professor told me that quitted the study may be the best scenario to me and my family at certain stages, I can come back later if the timing is right. I took year leaves in the courses and finished the thesis this year.

The professor sent me the email about the good news with an important remark, “you are a role model for your son and your family, never give up….” I am so glad he understood why I keep it going, because he doesn’t have a kid………

“Never give up” may be a special meaning to my son, not from a book, not from an influential speaker or pastor….. demonstrated by a closed friend – dad.

點評

One-Mama Congratulation! Your family must be very proud of you! What a wonderful & admirable family! 發表於 11-12-30 12:38

Sumyeema1

發表於 11-12-28 22:31

awah112

發表於 11-12-28 12:22

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

khmama

男爵府

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回復 ANChan59 的帖子

ANChan59,

Congratulations! 你確係一個人版, 相信你一家必為你自豪.

khmama.

點評

ANChan59 受之有愧發表於 11-12-27 23:47

One-Mama

大宅

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我相信 "如何的父母, 教育出如何的子女". 在不同的年代和社會, 各位父母都用不同的方式演繹其對子女之愛. 其結果如何.孩子品行如何. 旁人不盡能定論是否成功.失敗, 更遑論是哪一方/誰人負全責. 每個個案都有不同因由, 何需一概而論.
父母擔當的角色, 所謂'身教'尤其甚者. 希望在變幻莫測的時代, 成人追逐風氣都喘不過氣之際, 社會上能多些正面風氣, 好為艱辛的父母們打打氣, 為孩子們立個榜樣. 所謂"幼吾幼以及人之幼", 請勿再為孩子掛上LABEL, 有偏差便提出更正之冶本良方吧, 相信在濁流中仍有很多盡心盡力之家長在努力中. GOD BLESS!

點評

ANChan59 Agreed. In Him. 發表於 12-1-4 22:54

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回復 ANChan59 的帖子

Anchan,

You should consider to write a book about 'fatherhood.' I would be happy to buy some and send to friends.

annie

bbJP

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本帖最後由 bbJP 於 11-12-28 14:17 編輯

ANChan59 發表於 11-12-27 13:13
Part 2

2. Value system

“Never give up” may be a special meaning to my son, not from a book, not from an influential speaker or pastor….. demonstrated by a closed friend – dad.

ANChan59,

Congratulations!!

We share your happiness!!

You are really a GREAT DAD. Your son and your family are blessed.

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發表於 11-12-28 16:58 |只看該作者

annie40 發表於 11-12-28 12:00
回復 ANChan59 的帖子

Anchan,

annie40
Your idea is terrific, but its not easy to write a book for my parenting method; moreover, I need to wait for my son to finish his IB first according to our gentleman agreement.

Other ideas popped up my mind a couple years ago, my wife and I may start up something to help kids and parents for studying, parenting, career advice, not for profit, may be for under-privileged families. We don't have anything solid right now. Write a parenting book can be a good start......

ANChan59

點評

One-Mama Support!! I can't wait to reading it... 發表於 11-12-30 12:33

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

cherubic

男爵府

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發表於 11-12-28 17:06 |只看該作者

本帖最後由 cherubic 於 11-12-28 17:07 編輯

ANChan59,
You may consider opening a blog which is not very demanding. Parents, with young kids, will benefit a lot.

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本帖最後由 ANChan59 於 11-12-28 18:05 編輯

cherubic 發表於 11-12-28 17:06
ANChan59,
You may consider opening a blog which is not very demanding. Parents, with young kids, wi ...

Thanks cherubic
Let me discuss with my family and I need my son teach me how to open a blog.

BTW, start a blog - you mean in BK..... If yes, I can do it right the way.....

ANChan59

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

tongyimtong

複式洋房

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發表於 11-12-31 21:24 |只看該作者

本帖最後由 tongyimtong 於 11-12-31 21:27 編輯

各位朋友

因公私兩忙，相信會有一段時間沒空上BK，這個帖是在下開的﹐回應到此為止。

在子女教育的立場上，我知道自己並不孤單。

生活應由每人自己作出獨立的選擇，父母最後都要尊重子女的決定。

ANChan59

閣下是罕有的父母，你的行事方式，可供參考，但相信難以仿傚。令公子是資優生，然而資優生都分不同範疇。閣下是有心人，但「言者諄諄，聽者藐藐」，有多少人會暸解你育兒背後的真正苦心？只怕都是東施效顰，徒勞無功者居多﹗

我的帖題，答案原來早已有人解答。

以下著作今天在書店看到，並一口氣看完。

我已找到答案，希望其他人一樣找到︰

《不看後悔－－學校霸權的真相》

作者 : 古永信
出版社 : 生活書房

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回復 ANChan59 的帖子

ANChan,

我想每位家长也会是育儿专家, 或育儿失败者, 或甚么也不是, 只是.快活的普通人吧.

多月前感于兄台乐于助人, 曾盖叹只有一孩,未免可惜……. 仲有盖世武略而后继不多呢? 而背后的我在黑心地想, 多几个孩子你就知难度.
哈哈! 随时要用三四套功架来应付三四个孩子. 得出的效果更会是因人而异, 那时ANChan,还需每天跟孩子争战, 通常叫大仔教细仔, 那有精力出书?
因此每次见另一家长Samuel讲述给两个儿子弄到欲哭无泪的处境, 有血有肉, 是真实的乐事也! 真佩服他的能耐!

我也是个一孩妈妈, 女儿很易教 (相对是我易满足),
常怀疑独身子女是容易被父母操控而变得易于调教而已, 所谓独到秘诀, 多两个孩子, 绝技就被化解, 要重新学习, 想唔謙卑都唔得.

至于你的经验, 我是崇服你的想法和做法而未必可以跟随的. 是性格和环境使然, 学也学不来的. 记得你曾带儿子参观工作上的流程, 让他更理解何谓爸爸的工作, 大家非常赞赏! 我多年前也试过带小女往出差, 生意人勢利, 当正她是’天之骄女’, 仲话提名大个去’選美’, 吓到我几乎从椅子上掉落地, 而外子就’面黑黑’, 是夢魘! 孩子年纪少, 很难明白事实与谎言, 大害也.

育儿的理论和实践是让人太沉重, , 有见地之人如能出书, 我手写我心, 写经验, 写过错, 写顿悟, 写爱
, 写忧虑, 也是保证快,靓,正的,(tiger mom 话她用两星期写了三分二, 应该是不吐不快心里话, ), 还可整合成一本作品,留给儿子作’’家传之宝’. 多好!

然您和妻子的良好的理念, 想法, 行为是值得推崇的, 希望能按心中的一把尺来欣赏, 来妨效, 来互勉吧!

以上全属妇人之见,请于指正 ----

annie

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本帖最後由 ANChan59 於 12-1-5 00:36 編輯

回復 annie40 的帖子

ANChan,

我想每位家长也会是育儿专家, 或育儿失败者, 或甚么也不是, 只是.快活的普通人吧. (Excellent conclusion.)

多月前感于兄台乐于助人, 曾盖叹只有一孩,未免可惜……. (Give and take) 仲有盖世武略而后继不多呢? 而背后的我在黑心地想, 多几个孩子你就知难度. (Not your style....)

哈哈! 随时要用三四套功架来应付三四个孩子. 得出的效果更会是因人而异, 那时ANChan,还需每天跟孩子争战, 通常叫大仔教细仔, 那有精力出书? (Even one boy, also very demanding. *****Deleted*****)

因此每次见另一家长Samuel讲述给两个儿子弄到欲哭无泪的处境, 有血有肉, 是真实的乐事也! 真佩服他的能耐! (Yes, agreed....)

我也是个一孩妈妈, 女儿很易教 (相对是我易满足), 常怀疑独身子女是容易被父母操控而变得易于调教而已, 所谓独到秘诀, 多两个孩子, 绝技就被化解, 要重新学习, 想唔謙卑都唔得.(In general, I agreed with your comment. I told you before "one can be more than enough.....)

至于你的经验, 我是崇服你的想法和做法而未必可以跟随的. 是性格和环境使然, 学也学不来的.记得你曾带儿子参观工作上的流程, 让他更理解何谓爸爸的工作, 大家非常赞赏! (Correct, it's easier for me, as I am the partner of the company. But other parents can do different things based on their resources, connections....... my experience is most people are ready to offer helps in parenting, further studies and career decisions...... Depends on you want to do it or not.) 我多年前也试过带小女往出差, 生意人勢利, 当正她是’天之骄女’, 仲话提名大个去’選美’, 吓到我几乎从椅子上掉落地, 而外子就’面黑黑’, 是夢魘! 孩子年纪少, 很难明白事实与谎言, 大害也. (I will debrief him after those occasions....... For business occasion, I will screen the appropriateness before bring him along....... )

育儿的理论和实践是让人太沉重, , 有见地之人如能出书, 我手写我心, 写经验, 写过错, 写顿悟,写爱
, 写忧虑, 也是保证快,靓,正的,(tiger mom 话她用两星期写了三分二, 应该是不吐不快心里话, ),还可整合成一本作品,留给儿子作’’家传之宝’. 多好! (She is a professor........... I am a 'P' driver.....)

然您和妻子的良好的理念, 想法, 行为是值得推崇的, 希望能按心中的一把尺来欣赏, 来妨效, 来互勉吧! (My favorite comment - Expectation management.)

以上全属妇人之见,请于指正 ----

(I always open and accept lady's comments..... good training from my wife. )

annie

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

friendlyguy

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ANChan59 發表於 12-1-4 21:08
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ANChan,

ANChan,

Could you tell me more why you and your wife need to help your son in revising his academic stuffs? What make you think you can't just let go for him to do so? How you do it? How much time is needed per week?

I know very little about IB although my son most probably needs to take this curriculum a few years later. I always think that it requires a self-motivated student and parental involvement will be minimal as for other high school curriculums.

Friendlyguy

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回復 friendlyguy 的帖子

Hi friendlyguy
Your understanding of IB learning are correct...... Sorry may confuse other parents, I deleted the said remarks.

I am kidding and making excuse not to write the book

, but we are ready to help him if needed.

For Maths, he may need my assistance in two sections, he is too quick to get the answer in mind-maths mode and difficult to present steps in tests and examinations. The Maths teacher can't solve the problem, so I need to step in. Score 7 in Maths at HL, very thin margin to make mistake or lose some step marks..... For Physics and Chemistry, just in case only.

TOK, he is doing extremely well; my wife assists him to select the EE topics and transfer some tips to him for literature review and research methodology.........

ANChan59

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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回復 friendlyguy 的帖子

原来Friendlyguy仲系到, 果然是明天会更好!