心如刀割

joenjac

"唉"酒店房內,女兒突然幽幽的一聲嘆氣,聲音很小,像怕別人聽到似的.
"怎麼了?"我問,雖然我知道為什麼.
自從來到英國,父女兩人突然變得沉靜,說話總帶有一點陌生,大家都知道離別在即,都不想去觸動大家的痛,所以就儘量少說話.
"我...."女兒哭得腫起的眼眶,又滿滿的一眶淚,豆大般就在眼肚直滑下來.我馬上緊緊的把她抱緊在懷.想把時間就夾緊在我兩父女之間.

"你捨得讓你女兒出國啦?"
"小孩子,受太多呵護,要學會獨立..."一年來多少次回答親友的提問,心情總覺輕鬆.孰料,上飛機後,我才感受到這個十四年來一直在我身邊的女兒將要真的走出我私羽翼.

於是我一直用肩膀充當軟枕,讓她好好的在狹窄的機倉中安睡.酒店中夜裡總是睡不好,看她把被褥推到床沿,推到地下,我又趕緊為她蓋好.白天帶她四處閒逛,不想讓她太想家.

她哭的時候,就儘挑輕鬆的字眼安慰著.

但抱著女兒時,四天來的積壓,終於也崩潰了,原來我也沒有準備好.眼淚一滴滴的落在女兒膊上.

"回家吧"心裡直呼喊著,"你回香港再用功一點,離開這裡吧"
人到這時候,竟會脆弱到這地步!

哭過了,大家都靜了下來,我開始了講故事,自己年少的輕狂,我父親的奮鬥,對她的期望與鼓勵.

"爸不要你考到很好的成績,祗要你學會獨立思考"

這一個和香港完全相反的要求,就將我父女分隔兩地.

她到了宿舍的第一夜,我看著空著的另一張床,錐刺那倘血的心,淚,沒有得我同意就洶湧而出.

一夜無眠,天一亮就趕到機場,務求儘快逃離現場,那讓我心如刀割的屠場.

lasalleps

我也有你的經驗, 看著空的睡房, 他的物品就淚如雨下。希望時間可以舒緩你的傷感, 日後當你回望今天, 你會覺得值得, 等待女兒帶給你喜訊吧, 你一定會感到安慰。

ming@ming

[quote]原帖由 joenjac 於 09-9-10 11:17 發表

明白的. 我也是過來人.

我仔仔也在8月尾時到英国.  由他將入機場閳口時, 我的眼淚就自自動動的流下來.  

由8月尾到現在一直心情不佳, 上班有工作在身就比較好,
但一下班或在家裡, 想下想下, 眼淚又再次不聽話....

我也希望讓他到外国讀書是一個正確的選擇.......

kkbbkk

I felt sad when my son attended summer school for 5 weeks last year.

He left us for boarding school in the States this summer. I spent 10 days with him there. We were all so busy to prepare for his schooling there to feel sad.

Back to HK, I was busy at work. I have no time to miss him until every day end at home.

I sleep early in the evening and wake up early in the morning to chat (msn, facebook) with him.

So far, no tears.

DoReMi媽媽

心如刀割的感覺, 只有為人父母才會有切身之感,所以我很鼓勵身邊朋友生孩子, 有了孩子才會對人性的認識更深更廣, 作為父母, 看見子女受到無論是心理或生理上的痛苦, 父母所承受的折磨不比小朋友輕, 更妄想希冀上天可把一切痛苦折磨轉到自己身上, 為子女承受免卻他們受苦, 這就是父母, 這種天職, 人性, 是大自然奇妙的恩賜.

但 ~ 返回現實, 出國讀書是誰的主意? 如果是孩子的意願, 那就不礙事, 孩子適應能力很強, 俗語說得好, “自己挑, 自己扛”, 路是自己選, 沒得怨沒得悔, 更苦也得啃, 因是自己挑的路.
如果是父母的意願, 小孩是千百個不願, 那就要小心看着辦, 留意她/他的情緒.


還記得跟女兒在宿舍分別那一刹, 堅強的她雙眼湧出豆大的眼淚, 堅強是因為她一直都表現輕鬆, 縱使在酒店裏一直都沒有任何情緒, 直至面臨真的要分別父母, 要獨自面對一個陌生的國度, 陌生的宿舍, 陌生的語言, 陌生的人面, 對於一個十多歲的少年, 那種徬徨, 是可以理解的, 看見她的眼淚, 心酸得難以形容, 切膚之痛, 大概就是這樣吧!
往後的日子, 每天一電是小不了, 孩子經歷過分離, 更珍惜父母的關愛.
幾年下來, 可能見過世面, 人也變得包容大體, 處事大方, 對很多事情會有多角度的想法, 這就是得着.

放心吧! 將來看着女兒的成就, 你就會覺得 ~ 一切都是值得的!

[ 本帖最後由 DoReMi媽媽 於 09-9-10 18:25 編輯 ]

joenjac

沒有人知道這一定是正確的選擇,祗認為這是一條相對合適的路.打從她小六開始,就透露了去英國的計劃,所以她心理建設是已完成的,無奈啊,到真正的關口,才知自己也過得很辛苦.

幾天的相處,更體會到"珍惜".
我,她,她妹妹,仍在化學作用中,想一段時間後,一家人的感情,會進入另一個層次.

cwy808

看完也在流淚,我女兒也會在2011年往英國
讀書

[ 本帖最後由 cwy808 於 09-9-10 18:58 編輯 ]

bplus

家中寶貝也在8月離開生活了16年的香港, 起飛到遙遠的異地, 用別人的言語生活, 陌生的文字讀書; 盡管是她的意願, 她的選擇, 機場臨別, 她靜靜地落淚, 不想我看見 ..

無錯, 樣孩子獨立生活是出國讀書的其中一個因素, 不過, 我還有一個未能告訴她的動機, 就是讓她一嘗和至親分離的滋味, 終有一天, 我和她的爸爸都會永遠地離開她 ....

由她離開香港的那一天開始, 我都沒有因她不在身邊而不自在, 因為通訊實在非常方便, 直至讀到樓主的心聲, 不得不承認, 牽腸掛肚的滋味一點也不好受, 更可況遠在異地的她, 是否又靜靜地在床上落淚 ...

JChan

Yes, my eldest son got 24 marks (as in HKCEE) in GCSE (should be more marks because he took higher level exam).  He started at 11.

Now, is my youngest son's turn ...  Apologies sent to school many times but still have to go.  No more chance.

I forgot everything but no tears at that time.  Now ...

原帖由 DoReMi媽媽 於 09-9-10 18:24 發表
放心吧! 將來看着女兒的成就, 你就會覺得 ~ 一切都是值得的!

Gracewu1219

原帖由 vic.pretty 於 09-9-20 13:44 發表
我的兩個兒女, 都在外地讀書, 大的在英國, 細的在澳洲, 兩個都讀了4/5年了.
讀到你們的文字, 都令我回想最初送他們出國時的感覺, 知道是為他們前途著想, 但又十萬個不捨得. 更有無數想像出來的擔心. 但經過一些時,  ...

Totally agree with you.  Yet, still feel depress especially at night time.  

It's the 1st weekend that my son's not here, nothing to be rush, no Eng. lessons, no Maths lessons, or piano lesson.  Time past very slow....lack of motivation.  Long for his phone call or MSN but the time difference always keep us wait.

Hope the sad feeling will vanish very soon as you said.  Good luck to all parents and kids.

choima

I miss my daughter too, she just left to UK in Aug

原帖由 Gracewu1219 於 09-9-20 16:33 發表


Totally agree with you.  Yet, still feel depress especially at night time.  

It's the 1st weekend that my son's not here, nothing to be rush, no Eng. lessons, no Maths lessons, or piano lesson.  Ti ...

Gracewu1219

原帖由 choima 於 09-10-1 01:08 發表
I miss my daughter too, she just left to UK in Aug

You're not alone, come to share your feelings in this forum - lots of parents there!

放洋的小孩生活篇 ,

G-Ma

我自己16歲就出國, 當時的確有淚在心裡流, 離開父母去到陌生地方, 每一天都是新挑戰, 不過這亦是我人生當中最美好既時光,  我好感謝父母安排左呢個機會比我, 令我學識獨立, 自己解決困難, 同人相處, 真係終生受用.

到宜家自己有小朋友, 每當想到有一天她也會飛出去闖, 自己又好唔捨得.

Edsie

I also have a son who is 4 years old now.  We also plan to send him to England when he turns 13.  However, our plan is to live in the UK with him and let him become a weekly boarder or a day boy instead of a full boarder.  I will not just leave my son there alone.  

As I went to study England when I was 13 myself, it turned out that I didn't like it there at all until I went to university.

Even though it was my own choice to go to England!!!  My parents told me about this idea since I was in P.1 and so I was all prepared for that since I was 6!!!  

I would never let my son to experience that by himself all alone!!!

My brother was sent to England when he was 12 and he didn't talk to my parents until he went into university.  He always blamed my parents for sending him there although he admitted that it was good for him many years later!!!

[ 本帖最後由 Edsie 於 09-12-5 18:44 編輯 ]

salvatorefiori

原帖由 Edsie 於 09-12-5 18:39 發表
I also have a son who is 4 years old now.  We also plan to send him to England when he turns 13.  However, our plan is to live in the UK with him and let him become a weekly boarder or a day boy inste ...

Well, especially when you had such abundant experiences of studying abroad, you knew how tough it would be of sending your kids overseas at teen.  It is better to send them abroad when they know how to take care themselves.