Highly sensitive person

Dr.T

Following is a summary of the new book from the author who coined the phrase "highly sensitive person." Apparently this term (HSP) came from Carl Jung (楊格-與佛洛伊德齊名的心理分析學鼻祖)'s original theory and might not be scientifically valid.

AUTHOR: Aron,-Elaine-N
TITLE: Revisiting Jung's concept of innate sensitiveness.
PUBLICATION YEAR: 2004
ABSTRACT: Jung suggested that innate sensitiveness predisposes some individuals to be particularly affected by negative childhood experiences, so that later, when under pressure to adapt to some challenge, they retreat into infantile fantasies based on those experiences and become neurotic. Indeed, this probably innate tendency is found in about twenty percent of humans, and, in a sense, in most species, in that about this percentage will evidence a strategy of thoroughly processing information before taking action, while the majority depend on efficient, rapid motor activity. Given this thorough processing, sensitive individuals readily detect subtleties--including whatever is distressing or threatening. Hence, as Jung observed, given the same degree of stress in childhood as nonsensitive individuals, sensitive persons will develop more depression, anxiety, and shyness. Without undue stress, they evidence no more of these difficulties than the non-sensitive-- or even less, being unusually aware of supportive as well as negative cues from caregivers. Given this interaction, one treatment task is to distinguish the effects of such childhood difficulties from what does not need treatment, which are the typical effects of the trait itself on an adult without a troubled developmental history.

***
To Faith:

Your topic is far too interesting and I can't help throwing away all my other work and findi out what exactly is HSP. My opinion is it is a term invented by a social psychologist based on psychoanalytic theory (Jung). I think it'd be more helpful to explain a child's problem through using commonly understood terms.

[問題1﹕我的孩子除了數學方面較突出...但他好像卻沒有很多gifted的特徵...又有冇一些數學能力超前如my son但結果不是gifted 呢？]

I think human brain functions in a mysterious way. It's not uncommon (especially in the university setting) to find people who are only specialize in their own areas but know nothing about the outside world. Their social life is a mess (but some of them manage to get married!) Also your son might just be too young to show his other talents as he's only 3+years old!

[問題2，如果到他五六歲時，咬字發音仍不清，會否很難做iq test？可怎辦？]

3 years are a long time. With suitable training it shouldn't be a problem. Kids improve VERY quickly!

[問題3，咬字發音問題和腦部缺損有關嗎？會自己好嗎？]

I might not be the best person to answer this question as I'm not a ST. But I think it's more likely due to insufficient use of vocal muscle (STs forgive me for using the wrong term) than actual brain damage.

[問題4，他學琴也很快，才學不到四個月便可以彈貝多芬的給愛麗絲了，只是彈得不太好聽而已，但他真的"曾"很愛彈琴，。他視譜能力以3歲多的孩子來說真的很不錯了。音樂是右腦，數學是左腦，會否增加了他的情緒矛盾？音樂才能是否無法用iqtest？]

The left/right brain division is only a myth. In real life both side compensate each other. Einstein was a good example (he's maths wizard and also an avid violin (?) player.)

Faith, I know that at times parents want to find an answer for their children's "problems" but most of the time it's impossible. I once met parents kept pressing me to label their son as autistic as they could not explain his behaviour. I don't think label is very useful, especially for terms like HSP (for reason I explained in the beginning). It's not really a scientific term but a left over from an old psychoanalytic theory.

faith

"I don't think label is very useful, especially for terms like  
HSP (for reason I explained in the beginning). It's not
really a scientific term but a left over from an old psychoanalytic theory."

也許真的並不科學化，但我想，正如信仰一樣，無多少人見過神，但有部份人依然相信神吧。靈性或創造力的事情，根本不容易用很科學化，循著一定的邏緝或程序可以真正的測知，而人性這回事，也不是單單九型人格這類東西可以一一說清。但至少，我這麼一把年紀，追尋和了解自己和內省了這麼多年(其實不是很老)，困擾了這麼多個年頭，當發現HSP這個"東西"，再做完個唔科學化TEST(100條)，再看完ELAINE--HSP本書，她簡直就是我的再生父母，多年來的疑團解開了八成......正如讀過ELAINE的HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON的人都會發現，原來我們並不孤單，而且以前心理學上或外間(那80%-85%)的人認為在我們身上的負面特徵，現在都變成正常，甚至是恩賜﹗

我的孩子的行為，作為滿有直覺的母親來說，先撇除了他是自閉和ASPERGER(政府評估後)，他的行為和情緒問題，都跟HSC極相似，既然有人為這些"問題行為情緒"將其變成正面、正常，不是病態或甚至是GIFT，又教你如何去適應和照顧自己和那樣的孩子，和適應世界，我想如果再等"科學化"，那DEPRESSED只會如影隨形的跟住我們這些自以為有很大缺憾的人身上了。

我在HSP的一個GROUP看到他們HSP的投票--有關HSP與九型人格....大多數都是4、5型號的，這兩型號都是在藝術創造和智慧上有才華的型號，因此，HSP的種種問題，我想和
Dabrowski 所提出的overexcitabilities有一定程度的共通，只是elaine能更深入的研究和統計而已。

雖然hsp在香港並沒有很多人知，但我知真的有人比我知得早，楊震有個社工聽到我說這個名詞，立即說:你問負責的另一位社工，她會十分清楚(因為她就是)。

另外，只要你小心留意身邊的朋友或人，你不難看出他或她是或非hsp，而奇怪是，那些你覺得他是hsp的人或朋友，當介紹hsp的資料給他們時，你會發現他們和自己一樣都感到極有興趣和欣喜，而且從未想過有 "人"會如此瞭解自己。

如果我有這個機會和經濟(不用為衣食憂)和時間，我真的也想做個心理學的研究者或助手(助手少壓力)，完全不會基於賺錢考慮(hsp have a rich and complex inner life，對於物質上的東西我想一定不放在首位呢)

老實說我真的很喜歡這個"hsp"label，而不是害羞、怯、緊張、神經質、孤僻、脾氣差......一堆負面的詞語呢。
同樣我知道hsp便也不會用我阿仔身上了。也諒解更多人的行為和情緒問題。正如我朋友說自從知道九型人格後，對這個世界少了批評，多了體諒.....(九型人格也不科學化吧？)

真抱歉，浪費了你很多寶貴時間，不過十分十分謝謝你和我分享....真的，真的很多謝你﹗) 我不知你是不是我估到的那位dr.，但在我於yahoo設立的giftedgroup裡，有位家長很早前曾提及(可能是你)<因我們都會問及那兒做評估好？>，因為我覺得那家長不錯，所以當時也想著待孩子大點希望到(可能是你)那兒做評估....呀，我想應該是你吧？t是tang嗎？

gigi2

Now I think that I know who you are...

The Educational Psychologist Dr. Tang who was intervewed by today Sing Tao post....

Anyway, your messages are very impressive and thank you for your detailed & in depth professional advice to BK mommies here.

Dr.T

Faith,

Personally I enjoy reading articles and books by psychoanalysts (my all time idol is Anna Freud) as they usually have more width and depth than common psychological research reports. Yet they're also difficult to prove...

In fact if you have read my previous reply on my own interpretation of some of the autistic behaviour (such as spitting and spinning), they are also very "psychoanalytic"


Gigi2...sh:

Someone just told me what was written in that Singtao article. As I said, IQ test is often critizied by non-psychologist who knows nothing about it. They have their own agenda and other things to promote.

faith

DR.T
    你是不是 "兒童大腦xx增值...百科手冊的作者之一？(我沒有看singtao)，另一作者邵x華是不是小時在深水居住的？而且當過青年中心義工(因我覺得他好似我以前認識的一位朋友)？

    剛看過書中你的簡介(如果真是你的話)，我突然覺得自己是傻瓜.....有點驚喜，我竟然可以在這兒請教你的意見。我本來對於香港很失望，總是覺得外國人nice些和不怎麼計較。到英文yahoo的giftedgroup，真的有些本身是該方面的專業人士會親切地回答你的問題，但礙於我的英文不太好，(無法用英文去表達我腦子一大堆東西)，故此，總是無法問得多，於是就埋怨香港人都很"現實"，要專業人士和你說話一分鐘嗎？錢﹗錢﹗錢﹗香港人時間就是金錢，無乜人情味....連說話內容和態度都很專業(欠缺了額外的人情味)
在台灣生活過一段日子，比較起來，香港的專業人士真的很"專業"，對於我這個hsp()又來了)來說真的不太能適應架﹗
有空到我們的giftedgroup，不過我個人認為還是別去好，是千萬不要去，因為到時你一定被所有members看成特定目標....每個人都只會找你問一大堆....我想唔計番錢都唔得閒了，說笑﹗

anyway ，再次謝謝你﹗thank you﹗)你真是一大好人﹗

Dr.T

Faith & Gigi2.....sh

My only regret is my Chinese typing is too slow and I still haven't invested a Chinese writing pad.

gigi2

Thank you for your efforts to us.  Please continue to stay here as parents need your advice very much.

regards,

mrsphcheung

Dear Dr. T,
My son, 4 years old, has attention problem.  Private child psychiatrist diagnosed him as autistic but government doctors diagnosed him as developmental delay.  I have tried some attention training courses and O.T. for him.  It seems that nothing is effective.  I feel that his ability should be higher than his performance.  What else can I do for him to improve his problem?  Should I send him to an educational psychologist for further investigation into his problem?  Should I follow child psychiatrist's advice to give him medicine when he is 6?  Can you give me your professional advice?  Thousands of thanks.

auntie1234

Dr. T:
可否話比我知你既身分(好奇)？點解其他人會咁估?

Dr.T

網友 mrsphcheung,

Thanks for your trust. Do allow me to get back to you later next Tue. I have to concentrate on my work these few days.

I'll keep on reading but have to restrain myself from answering

Do apologize for that.

Dr.T

auntie1234 寫道:
Dr. T:
可否話比我知你既身分(好奇)？點解其他人會咁估?

I don't have a clue either  

gigi2

Dr. T,


Please check your PM.

Dr.T

mrsphcheung 寫道:
Dear Dr. T,
My son, 4 years old, has attention problem.  Private child psychiatrist diagnosed him as autistic but government doctors diagnosed him as developmental delay.  I have tried some attention training courses and O.T. for him.  It seems that nothing is effective.  I feel that his ability should be higher than his performance.  What else can I do for him to improve his problem?  Should I send him to an educational psychologist for further investigation into his problem?  Should I follow child psychiatrist's advice to give him medicine when he is 6?  Can you give me your professional advice?  Thousands of thanks.

Individualized treatments, no matter how experienced the therapists are, are seldom effective when the true problem lies in the natural habitat of the child. I think it is more important to find a KG with better teacher:children ratio so that adults can really deal with children's individual needs. But that KG needs to have some kind of structure and not too permissive. Think of a school somewhere between Kentville and 靈糧堂. Yes, it's difficult to locate one but not impossible.

Further diagnosis by whoever is unlikely a solution of your child's problem and labelling is meaningless for end-user like you. If you can identify someone within that KG who can design a behaviour programme for your child, then it should be much more effective than seeing any doctor or any medication. Otherwise get a therapist who is willing to do site visit and talk to the teachers directly.

Just curious to know who the psychiatrist you mentioned is. I know quite a few of them who almost automatically diagnoze any kids as autistic or ADD/ADHD. I wonder whether that helps.

gigi2

Dear Dr. T,

a PM to you already and thank you for your valuable comments which gave me a 'strong heart' injection!!!!!     

mrsphcheung

Dear Dr. T,
Many thanks to your valuable advice.  Dr. Wong Chung Kong diagnosed my son as autism after looking at him for 10 minutes when my son was three years and nine months old.  My son was later diagnosed as developmental delay (half a year) by a government child assessment centre.  In fact, my son has visited 4 government doctors and none of them diagnosed him as autistic.  I know that there are some parents having similar experiences like me.  I think it is wise to seek more doctors' advice in order to find out the true picture.  My son's class teacher, an experienced teacher in special education, also comments that my son has no autistic features.  The school just comments that my son is not so attentive in the lesson and the school discusses with me about the measures to help my son all the time.  I just hope that he can control himself when he is older.   
   

Dr.T

Dr. W diagnosed my son as autism after looking at him for 10 minutes when my son was three years and nine months old.   

I knew it's him once I read your description.

Another one to avoid is Dr. C, who will diagnose a child as ADD/ADHD after almost the same period of time.

思佳媽咪

Dear mrsphcheung
I have the impression that child assessment centre always diagnoses children as developmental delay or mild grade MR instead of autism, unless if the case is really typical autism.  They are very cautious in mentioning this term.  In fact, it is very difficult to define whether a child is autistic or not if he only gets mild A-features.  There is also a saying:"每一個自閉的孩子都是獨一無二的".  
I, like you, trying very hard to find out whether my son is autistic or not when he was young.  I brought  him to govt. psychiatry, clinical/edu. psychologists, OT & ST.  All these specialists could not give a definite answer.   Nearly all  of them told me that it was meanlingless to diagnose whether he was autistic or not.  The most important thing was to accept him, find out his strong & weak points and help him in his development.  
Years passed.  My son's mild autistic features, though mild, never diminish.  However, he is continuously progressing.  For example, he is stubborn  in the changing of routes to places, changing of placement of objects....  But now I can discuss with him & he is willing to make compromise.  This also turns to his good habits - he is a very tidy person and keeps his belongings tidy and in good condition.  He has very good memory - this ability helps him in dictations & he always gains high marks in this field.  However, I have to accept that he is extremely weak in abstract & logical thinking, he can only communicate in simple dialogues, he is lower than average in IQ, he is weak in social interaction......
I also met some teenagers with mild A-features/normal IQ in Caritas .  Most of them are progressing well, can finish secondary education & vocational training.  
Being parent of special children, our road is harsh.  It is also life-long!

mamee

思佳媽咪

你好.
我將你之前覆俾mrsphcheung的一則posting, 轉貼了在另一個topic[好擔心...醫生話BB發展遲緩~~]裡面. 因我覺得你既一番話, 真的很有意思, 亦很有鼓勵作用. 謝謝你既分享.
特此告之你一聲. 請原諒我既唐突.

mamee

mrsphcheung

Dear 思佳媽咪,
Your sharing is very touching. Your son is blessed as he has such a wonderful mother.  To bring up my son to be an independent person is my life goal and I will struggle for it.  Thanks.

ALAL

Hi Dr T,
thank you for your presence to help BK moms.

My son is 5, and is classified as developmental delay for 6 months. Same as mrs cheung's case, my son is very unattentive in attending school class and also in attending interest class with or without my presence. He would not leave his seat but he just like to look around, scratching or playing his stationery. He simply can't catch what the teacher has taught.

My observation in attending interest class with him is that he always need recognition or praise by the teacher before he will become attentive. My conclusion is that may be he is lack of confidence.

Besides, in school the resources teacher is revising what they have learnt in class. I thought he may rely on the revision of the resources teacher. So I have told  the resources teacher not to revise what they have learnt in class with him. And I try teach him in advance what the kinder will teach to strengthen his confidence.

My hub comment that I am too demanding. Though I always praise him, but are just superficial praise, not those really come from the heart. May be I need a big change also.

Speech therperist confirm that he don't have understanding problem. His consonant cannot be accurately spoken and he speak very slow. His memory is not very good too

Now it come to choosing primary school, which he has to attend in 05. I have registered a project approach school with no dictation and few writing homework. But I am very worried about his attention problem.

grateful for your advice.