A Strong Foundation: reading and what else ... ?

HKTHK

Reflecting on the last few years, I have one regret in bringing up our elder child.  She was off to a slow start in reading and even though we read with her a couple times a week, we could have done more.  We should have read with her everyday, use re-reading and read-aloud to build fluency, helped her build vocabulary, taught her comprehension strategies, exposed her to more genres, ....  Thankfully, through her school's influence, we became aware of the short-comings and have addressed the issue.  She now enjoys reading everyday and we make regular trips to the library.  The younger one benefited enormously from this experience and is probably at least 12 months ahead of where the elder one was.
It then dawned on me that reading can't possibly be the only part of a strong foundation.  What else am I missing?  What is the next step?  Is it writing?  Math skills?  Self-discipline?  If you were to do it again, aside from reading, what would you have done differently to build a stronger foundation?

bobbycheung

回復 HKTHK 的帖子

I guess nothing is unimportant.  It's just that there are some more important than the others.  For example, as the saying goes "天下文章一大抄".  I believe if you don't read well, you won't write well.  Hence, reading is more important than writing from this perspective.  (But that's not to say writing is not important).  Likewise, language and maths are the tools.  "工欲善其事 必先利其器", it follows that we must master these tools in order to do well.  Of course, we can never overemphasize the importance of thinking.  (In HK, I feel that we place too much emphasis on good memory as opposed to good thinking skills.)  You also mentioned self-discipline which is obviously very important along with honesty, integrity .... etc. Nowadays, I feel we spend too much of our time on teaching our kids how to excel academically.  We neglect to teach them how to be a "好人".  This is probably the biggest failure of all.  If our kids turn out to be evil persons, then all the solid foundation we build for them will only facilitate them to do more wrongs on a bigger scale.  

HKTHK

回復 bobbycheung 的帖子

Your answer reminds me of this quote from Warren Buffet:

“Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.”

And if one believes in this quote, HK parents only focus on

intelligence but not the other two.

JTmom

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HKTHK

回復 JTmom 的帖子

JTmom> I was only referring to academic skills initially.  But as both bobbycheung and you pointed out, the moral fiber of a person matters more and I agree wholeheartedly.  I have not done anything "special" on virtues but just try to impress upon my children what I think is the right course of action when they face various choices.  Have bought the book on my Kindle and look forward to reading it.  I do believe virtue is more of a challenge for international school parents since the kids are usually given wider latitudes.
bobbycheung>  I think the importance of thinking/reasoning will only go up as our children grow up.  With the internet and the incessant flow of information, all kinds of data and information are accessible at their finger tips.  The value of being able to recall a particular fact has to decrease over time.  With Google at all of our finger tips, one can even argue that one doesn't really need to know how to do arithmetics.  What they do need to know is how to apply arithmetics to solve problems since Google, or a calculator, can't do it for them.

bobbycheung

回復 HKTHK 的帖子

HKTHK,

If you allow me to go beyond academic skills, then I would say there is another aspect of thinking which kids nowadays are lacking.  A lot of them just can't think for themselves.  Perhaps they are too well looked after.  They are taken good care of by parents and maids.  Everything is planned and done for them.  A lot of them are really 高分但白癡加低能.  Occasionally, I see some kids who are really "smart".  They are often the ones who get less attention and care by their parents.  Perhaps they have no one to rely on and they have to figure out things by themselves.   This is another "side effect" of this modern society where we focus entirely on academic achievements and nothing else.  I think parents (especially helicopter parents) should take note of this.  To me, this is even more important than having a solid academic foundation.   What is the use of having a 10 A* students who can't even think and take care of themselves?

annie40

I see some kids who are really "smart".  They are often the ones who get less attention and care by their parents.
*****    *****    ***
totally agreed!  单凭呢几句, 真系觉得你好醒!

bobbycheung

回復 annie40 的帖子

annie40,

我一D都唔醒.  只不過我個女就係exactly我講哥D白癡加低能一族(最慘仲唔係高分哥隻 ), 所以先有此體會.  我己經決定放手比佢自己handle返D野, 希望佢從實踐及錯誤中學習.

HKTHK

回復 bobbycheung 的帖子

Are you referring to the ability to take care of oneself like tying shoe laces, doing laundry, cook a meal, .... or just common sense?  I have also met plenty of extremely intelligent people with minimal common sense.

HKTHK

For me, the best training for common sense, ability to take care of one-self and social skills is the same - send them to a boarding school.

bobbycheung

回復 HKTHK 的帖子

I am not referring to tying one's own shoe laces, doing laundry or cooking a meal etc.  I am referring to the ability to think for oneself, to identify the problems and to take steps to solve them.  For instance, if the exam or test results are no good, some kids will think for themselves and try to find out what the problem is.  Let's say it turns out that it is all because of the fact that the school teacher is really bad.  Then these kids might consider seeking outside help.  They would ask around to see which tutor is good so that they could go there for private lessons.  These kids are the "smart" ones.  You don't need to tell them what to do and they will take the initiative and do it themselves.  But there are others who would just do nothing.  They will just wait there for your "instructions".  You will have to tell them what the problem is and you will have to find them a tutor and arrange private lessons for them.

HKTHK

Oh, being self-aware and taking initiatives is asking for a lot.  I am not sure most adults would be able to do this!

Any other thoughts on the academic side?

金瑪姬

我老細在上学途中見到一架工程車，他好奇的问我那是什么; 放学，我便把圖書館所有工程車的書放在厅中间。
如是，每日他最好奇的東西，学校的Topik，Harry  P，…都出現在厅中间，也不需要我跟他一起看
初小期間，每天指定动作。呀!深淺是否适合，也極之重要。那幾年，我每天都花2个小時以上在图書館找書的啊!

Julianlele

想請教大家關於閱讀的問題：

我的孩子四歲多。我從他六七個月開始就一直給他讀書。各種圖書，中英文。他也非常喜歡聽。可是他到現在卻不喜歡認字，無論中英文。所以我一直很頭疼應該怎樣教孩子閱讀。但他就非常喜歡看書，祇看圖畫，各種書雜誌都看。遇到興趣的東西就讓我讀。如果我指著字一個個讀給他聽，他就非常排斥。所以直到現在他認識的字單詞還很少。可否請大家介紹一下你們是怎樣教閱讀的。

另外一方面，如果我用那些字卡教認字，孩子覺得索然無味，沒有興趣。如果用簡單的故事書，他會覺得內容太簡單且認字太累。所以請大家指點我應該怎麼辦？另外孩子從小究竟應該怎樣教閱讀？謝謝

金瑪姬

如果你5識，或者老花睇5清，个仔大概会夠自己多d

金瑪姬

靠自己多d

Mighty

回復 Julianlele 的帖子

4 year and a little bit is very young.  I know lots of children can read a lot at this young age but doesnt mean EVERYONE is the same.  Give him some time and do not push him and nature takes its course.  However, hv you checked if he is by any chance suffering from dyslexia?  If not, then provide him with the reading environment as you are doing it now and I m sure one day you wl be surprised.  

Julianlele

謝謝您的回復。雖然我沒給他檢查過，但我認為我的孩子沒有識字困難，而是他覺得認字很枯燥乏味。比如，我和他一起看基礎漢字500。他很快就可以把一本書認完，讀完，但沒多久就不想再學下去了。他問我：＂媽媽，書上究竟講的什麼故事，為什麼那個小朋友要爬高山？＂我無言以對，因為該書內容確實每頁之間沒有什麽邏輯關係，也無故事情節。於是慢慢就變得不再想讀了。我無意強迫他學習，但我一直在思考是否我教孩子閱讀的方法有誤。我也發現過一個有趣的現象，有的孩子雖然認識很多字，但卻不喜歡自己拿起書讀，只喜歡認字卡。我的孩子有閱讀的興趣但卻不喜歡認字。所以我在想早期的閱讀啟蒙是以閱讀習慣的培養重要？還是認字重要？（先避開升學的競爭因素而談）

Julianlele

HKTHK,

您經歷過兩個孩子的閱讀學習過程？可以介紹一下您教孩子閱讀的經驗和方法嗎？謝謝

elizatyy

從小就每天跟小兒讀故事書、他對識字咭—點興趣都無。