日學生成績大跌 歸咎無壓力教育

lochan

Dear Teresa,

There is pressure everywhere. At work, there are deadlines, reports due, meetings, presentations, bosses to please etc.

At school, like in anywhere else, there are exams for University admission and of course, student is facing pressure. As Stccmc said, you do not need to overly exerting pressure to a 8 year old kid. By inserting too much pressure, they will lose interest in studying and that is the last thing parents would like to see. Self-study is lifelong which sadly a lot of schools have been neglecting. To train a child to be a self-starter shall be the most important goal. With this, the child can handle pressure when he grows up.

Missions Statement of my son's current school is what touches my heart. I would like to share it with all parents:-
Dedicating
Our minds to Inquiry;
Our heart to compassion;
Our lives to serve and global understanding

The school does not pressure kids, the kids was inspired from their own self and voluntarily prepare themselves to exams and 90% of the students went to study abroad in USA and regularly some got enrolled in Ivy League Universities each year.

Pressure, there should be, but not necessarily from parents since there is already enough or even too much from school or the world. Go to school does not equal to get good score in exams!! There are more important things than that!

lochan

To all parents,

I have seen some very constructive comments in this thread on both sides and this is truly informative.

It is vital that children be able to handle pressure. However, it is not the PARENTS to give them, but from outside world. We instead, shall help channel the pressure constructively and turn them into positive force. We should teach the children not to confront it, but to handle it, to divert and transform it.

I am sorry to say that local school misused pressure and put schoolers to the brink of breakdown. We all know that academics standards for American school kids may be lower than Asians in Primary and Secondary school since they don't pressure the kids as much as the Asians do. However, they can rapidly catch up and easily surpass Asians in University. I experienced it myself when I studied U in Canada.

My point is that even the schoolers are taught in an non-competitive environment, they can still grow up to successfully deal with pressure. Of course, that is a combined effort from the school, the parents and the child himself.

lochan

Matt'sMum,

Agree parents should channel the pressure to child instead of inserting.

Agree that parents should let the kid blossom in his own strong points and we as parents only need to give them the best nutrients. In this way, the child will have a will to thrive and excel in a competitive but fulfilling way happily.

lochan

yk,

'Luck' is 'opportunity meets prepararion. '

Pressure comes from competition, pressure comes from peer, pressure comes from school, pressure comes from comparison. There are lots of pressure exists in this world. The least we would like to do is to COMPARE your child with individuals than to standards. No child is born equal and some may perform one thing better than the other one, so be it and explain to your child that you may need more time to catch up with it or you can try something else which he is good at.

Pressure can be positive when it is self-driven or self-motivated. I do not oppose driving my boy to achieve certain standards but not direct to individual.

Moderation is the word and there is a fine line between reasonably to overly asserting pressure to a child. Afterall, if the child really enjoys pressuring himself to be better, that's fine but of course at the beginning we have to find out what he is really likes the most and encourages him to that direction.

lochan

beseem2003,

I totally agree with you that foundation is utmost important. Strategies and textics will only be effective if you possess a good foundation.

Especially when the other day, I tried to teach my son some simple math addition, I suddenly realize that he doesn't grasp the concept and the real need for additional. Therefore, I have to give him some interesting real life examples in order for him to understand the foundation of numbers and need of every day life addition (I remembered how I feel so awkward when facing the work questions when I was a kid). So often school teaches formulas and simply ask the child to memorise and apply them w/o even knowing the reason and concept of it.

Foundation takes a much longer time to build but forms an important basis for the child's future learning. The child may be slow to catch up with the curriculum but in the long run, be able to learn faster when compare witht the typical fast-track learning style in HK since he can always go back to the fundamentals and work himself up and solve the problem. Math can be fun or hell and the difference is only depending on how you teach the kid!

lochan

Dear so.san,

when you talk about 成績, do you mean report card ranking? If so, I disagree.

成績 is very important when you are comparing to YOURSELF. Any improvement is considered 成績. Local school judge a child's 成績 by measuring his abilities at a dedicated time frame against dedicated group of children in a class. I mentioned earlier that different child has his own learning path, some quicker when young, slow down when grow up; some slow starting but caught up at later stage.

Int'l School do NOT rank a child against others and they sure know that it does harm more than good. Instead they will assess the child against certain recognised standards. For example, they will rank a child's reading ability to be good, vg, surpass his age group etc but they don't tell you his ranking nor do they ever rank them. They also give out a wider range for a child to achieve a certain standard, e.g. between age 5-7, a child will be able to write in simple sentence etc. If that is not achieved, it will be time for you to alert.

Of course, when a child grew older, he will face a lot of competition not only in academics, but in sports and music competition  etc. However, the initial years of schooling must be aim at triggering a child's urge and eagerness to learn instead of blindly chasing after 成績 that is ranked by comparing with others. 成績 is just a by-product after you have successfully triggeria child to learn with eagerness. Ranking a child amongst his peers is in itself not fair since the "young" ones in the class are in a adverse situation when compare with the "older" ones in the same class.

Yes, 成績 is important but depends on how you apply it.

My two cents

:wink:

lochan

Matt's mum,

Well said, what if a child come back and ask you to have lots of money or deamnd to have a better car etc., what would you say, tell him no need to compare with others? But on the other hand, you are using your child's results to compare with other parents' child. YOUR CHILD IS NOT A TROPHY OF YOURSELF!

ykwong,

Agreed wholeheartedly. Not many schools in HK have the vision or dare to even mention this approach!

Wunma,

The danger in blindly chasing good results is that the purpose of learning is distorted. Achieving good results on a subject does not necessarily mean the child will fully understand the subject. A child will chase for good results and study only the minimum required in the syllabus and will not concern whether they fully understand it or not. He will also tend to memorise without understanding thoroughly the material if time is not allowed and that is more terrible than getting poor results in long run during his life long quest for knowledge!

I agreed a child shall thrive to improve himself, but not by comparison with peers, but instead by recognised standards.

lochan

Wunma and other parents,
Please see my reply in bold.

wunma 寫道:
lochan,

"The danger in blindly chasing good results is that the purpose of learning is distorted"

I don't think the purpose of learning will be affected if we want to get good academic results. It depends on how you achieve the goal.

I don't disagree with you. As I said, if the goal is to thoroughly learn and understand the subject and the end result is good grades, that's fine.

"Achieving good results on a subject does not necessarily mean the child will fully understand the subject. "

I don't think a child can really achieve good result if he/she cannot fully understand the subject.

Believe it or not, I am a typical example or victim. Like many of my schoolmates, we swallow the material without chewing nor actually tasting it. I did get good grades but fell short when compare with other Caucasians when studying University abroad (This happens to most of my old schoolmates in HK who studied abroad) Don't you realise that education system in HK does not require a child to fully understand the subect?

"A child will chase for good results and study only the minimum required in the syllabus and will not concern whether they fully understand it or not. He will also tend to memorise without understanding thoroughly the material if time is not allowed and that is more terrible than getting poor results in long run during his life long quest for knowledge!"

Again, I don't believe that if a child just memorizing things without understanding the content, he/she will get high marks.

Believe it or not, I am again a typical example or victim! I used to memorise what the teachers tipped us, studying tons of past papers and memorise the answer, skip the topics if the teacher said he would not put it in exam, study mechanically tons of workbooks. I prepared for the exam for the sake of getting good grades and I did get good grades! Oh my, I did all the bad things and I certainly don't want my child to follow my footsteps! I have been through the pain and am not afraid to speak out my experience in  hope that parents can at least give a little thought about it

lochan

Sounds like a dream school!

My old school was supposed to be one of the top schools in HK but of no match to this school in terms of school's belief and motto.

lochan

Wunma,

If what you said is true, that is good news. But according to my friends whose children used to study in some of the top schools in HK, it is still the same as what I have experienced many years ago. The teacher came in not to teach, but instead expecting the students to study beforehand at home or by homework assistant. They do not encourage questions as it will slow down the teaching, they do not allow student to challenge the teacher even if the teacher is wrong, they demand the student to memorise massive loads of study material. The school simply killed the creativity of a child. One of my friend's child finally switched to Int'l school and is excelling in in many aspects and most importantly, she is much much happier than before as well as her mom.

I really hope what you have said is true,  I also think that some schools are more open-minded than others. But the examples are yet too few...

This is only based on my exposure, can you name a few schools whichare as good as what you have mentioned above for my reference?

lochan

I studied in LSC ages ago. I still think it is still an excellent all-rounded school apart from the fact that the method of teaching which is spellbound by local education system, which is not the school's fault.

My son will be studying at DBSPD next year. Of course, he will have to give up the quota for LSPS.

Philwhau,
Well said. Pressure and expectations, not inserted by parents, is positive element to stimulate a child. Bear in mind moderation and balance is the key word though it is hard to strike a balance.

lochan

If that is true, then Wah Yan  = Cambridge in HK!

Anyways, this is a very informative forum and although we may differ in opinion, there is no sense of personal attack like those found in many other forums.

lochan

As parents we provide him the best possible, the rest is up to the children. There's no guarantee that the child will perform. If he does, that's count as bonus. If he fails, well you did your best.
Also, hobbies are for kids to enjoy, not to suffer. Luckily, my son likes what we give him since we regularly ask him if he liokes it or not.

Raising children is NOT an investment, it 's a burden that we love to carry or have no choice but.

lochan

One thing parent must practice is to let go. We cannot be overly protective. It may seem hard to let your child fall without lending a hand, but in the long run, small defeats will help to build the confidance of the child.

It is the child's own life he will have to face, we can only give help on the side, give him the right tools. He will have to walk his own path, spread his own wings, breathe his own air and build up his own experiences both success or failure in order to make his life complete.

lochan

Wunma,

Interesting question..

La Salle were brought up in childhood to take DB boys as lifetime enemy! In most cases, we handle the emotion positively through competing in sports and academics although a few fights broke out but is nonetheless serious imo.

I would love to send my to LSC but it is the education system that I object from Day One that stop me from doing so. In the beginning, I have not even thought about DBSPD since the school that my son is studying currently is imo the best choice. Having considered in both finnancially and child's lifetime development of contact/buddy, I am 90% sure that I would let me son attend DBS since I tend to buy the education sytem offered by DBS and am crossing my fingers that they can established the IB in secondary school.

Today, there's no more hostile feelings with DB boys and looking back the years, I can't help but think how naive (but no regrets though) we were! Today, some of my good friends are from DBS too.

lochan

I am thinking.. when a child grows up, must he find a 9-5 job or be his own boss. There are others things that he can do e.g. artists, atheletes, writers etc. There are numerous possibilities other than "enter into business world" and some of us will have difficulties in competing in this business world but that doesn't mean we are of lesser quality. It's just that every individual has its own talent which so happen this is not our strength.

Parents always, especially in HK, hypnotise their children such that when they grow up, they need to survive the cruel commercial world, be a warrior and fight their way through battlefield.

To earn a lot of money or get a high-paid job is not the ultimate goal though it is important to make both ends meet. Moreover, it is utmost important that the child will grow up to live a meaningful, fulfilling and happy life. He can be poor but rich at heart! It is our brought up that has encaged owr thoughts and I don't want my next generation to limit his visions.

lochan

beseem2003,

You may be right, my ultimate choice will be having my son studying in IS, but an excellent IS has a hefty price to pay. DBSPD's school fee is more down to earth though...

My son loves the school he is now studying and tell me so every time I ask him. It may be hard for him to readjust to a new school having to part with some of his buddies.

There will be competition from some other parents, but I notice that there are some parents in this forum and whose sons will be studying DBSPD are sharing my views. Therefore, I am cautiously optimistic that things will work out well. Perhaps, DBSPD might be able to combine the virtues of two types of school philosophy and form an unique style of its own, time is yet to tell. Afterall, I do not object to competition if it is coming out from within. One day, in order to go to a good University, as much as I loathe, good grades is a prerequisite and is still one of the governing factor.

At one time, the DBSPD principal gave a speech to the parents and said if he knows any parents employing more than 2 teaching assistant for the child, she will give them a whack, as quoted by my cousin whose son is studying P.5 now.

I also noticed a lot more local schools are employing IS' teaching methods and this is very encouraging.

lochan

Philip,

I love HKIS and so does my son. I've got two sons and for them to complete the education in IS is very costly. Maybe one day I will send them back to Canada ot States for continuing education. Or maybe, I can have my sons reapply IS later.

Well, there are more parents bearing the same belief in my office and majority of them I know have put their siblings to ESF, IS and IS-approach local schools. We all gone through the love-hate relation with local schools and would like to pave our children to a better alternative.

Philip, btw, where is your son/daughter studying right now?

Also, in reply to Wymom, demanding parents are not the sole rights of Chinese, it does happen to other countries even in USA though in a lesser extent. But it is still a big no-no!! :evil:

lochan

It's never been more difficult to be a parent nowadays. Competition is more fierce than 20 years ago, there are more and more U grads walking in the streets jobless than before. One must be really outstanding in order to set foot in the world.

We have to strike a balance on how much guidance we have to give to a child before we would be named tyrant . As a  child grows older, he will have more of his own will. If you suppress his decision making when he was young, he would not tell you his inner thoughts when he reaches adolescent, which is the most rebellious years of a child that all parents fear.

Must he enter University? I do hope so, since I still believe in Univ. education will enhance a child's life. Some might argue Univ. might restraint a child's risk-taking abilty and becoming more conservative which is still debatable. Remember, Bill Gates never finished his Degree!

I keep asking myself, am I being too lenient or stringent to my son from time to time and I cannot tell if I am doing the right thing sometimes.

However, i do believe good parents have to set good examples and we are trying hard to correct our own shortcomings at the same time too!

lochan

The result is very discouraging, those 37% parents should be re-educated. Simply too narrow-sighted!

There's nothing wrong to be a prof., but there are so many more things to do! there are lot more meaningful career in this world.

I do hope those parents will not insert pressure to their children towards these profession, especially Arch. and Eng. since they are a sunset prof in HK speaking from my own experience.