Class Difference of International Schools

lulusing

The following is an earlier posting from a parent:  

Re: Singapore International School  
Morning YYY, 我想問一吓你, 你小朋友係SIS讀書, 裡面既同學仔會唔會好似其他INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL咁, 好多都係有$$$$$$既家庭, 睇唔起D平民同學仔?????

The discussion was on SIS. Can anybody share ideas on this theme [class difference (階級分野)] in and among other international schools?
   

oooray

it is inevitable coz u can't suddenly change your status from POOR to RICH.
It is true that more RICH students are studying in IS and  greater chance to encounter such scenario.
If I were the one being discriminated, I won't be care because POOR is my reality. But sorry, i will discriminate those poor quality students, too.

lulusing

Just want to discuss from another point of view.

Shall we consider the class difference before we send our kids to an international school? For example, a child from an average family (middle class family but not a poor family) should/should not be admitted to an international school in which students generally come from very rich families. The indicators of such a school include: very high tuiton fee or being located at an area surrounded by high class residential buildings etc.

Opposite view may be: there is not problem only if parents can afford the fees, and the main concern should be the children's academic ability and other  competencies but not the family background.  However, do you think that a child like this will find it very difficult to adapt or no problem at all?   

Ruby_Duong

Hi all,

I am new to this forum. Just wanna to share some options and hopefully get some feedbacks. For those who can afford the fee of IS, say easily around $100,000 p.a., the family should be middle class and they should feel bad at all. Many many family in HK the family annual income is around $400,000. No need to compare with those RICH families. In a typical IS, you can easily find many students from rich families. We just need to do our own best to educate our own kids. I have one good friend who is a professor in Singapore. His kid just got permission to Princeton University!!!! He is just middle class in Singapore. Another friend of mine (also a Professor) hold different point of view. He decides NOT to send his kid to IS cause he doesn;t want to be "second" class.

However my friends told me there will be many school activities which may involve quite some money.

oooray

I think no need to think too much about other people think in making your own decision.
Even if you are rich enough, you may be taller, shorter, uglier, less talent .... too many factors to be discriminated if someone wants to think in that way. No one be avoided throughout his/her life and parents cannot never keep him/her in a greenhouse.

Just in case in such extreme situation, parents should take this factor into consideration because social life is also as important as academic achievement.
Unlucky enough, all your classmates are rich and would use RICHNESS to reflect social status in school, why should we send our children there for being tortured?   

lulusing

I think the point is not whether:
1) middle class parents can afford the fees (tuition and activities) or
2) the parents think about what other parents think,
but that there are different life styles objectively and the possible development of the children. Even though there are no intentional discriminations, students from different families are probably leading different types of life. For example, their parents drive different cars, live in different residential areas with different house sizes, go to different restaurants, and have different consumption patterns and different hobbies. I think the concern would be: Can middle class kids go to any international schools in Hong Kong without problems? Or some international schools are not suitable for them since they are full of students from very rich families? The questions again: is the adaptation of middle class students themselves still a problem?                 

oooray

sorry for keeping questioning.
I'm afraid you have already had your own answers for your concerns.
I'll be glad to hear other parents who have such experiences.

I strongly believe that being a social animal, everybody(from kid to adult) is comparing himself/herself to the others everyday. Life is full of superiority and inferiority. Unless u are in utopia, everybody is labelled by his/her social status and comparison is inevitable.

inho

WYmom

lulusing,

I think no matter local or IS, some schools are more for the very rich or the upper class, e.g. Yew Chung has students who use to driving 遊艇, not cars.  Some students of SPCC, DGS, MCS or DBS, HKIS etc. live in big houses, use LV, Gucci bags...  it's the reality!

As a middle class parent, I will choose schools matching our class more, so our kids won't feel too inferior.  In fact, I feel that foreign families' kids won't show off even they are very rich, unlike the local Chinese.  Afterall, it is more important to teach our kids to have good value judgement, money is not everything.

lulusing

Dear oooray,

I am sorry that the discussion comes to    .
In fact, I did not mean to produce questions only without generating answers. Be honest, I really don't have any definite answers and I sincerely want to have ideas from parents. You are very right that we need the real experience but not logical thinking only. Anyway, if you come up with any other ideas and got some friends with the experience, please do share with me.

lulusing   


Hi oooray, WYmon and Ruby-Duong,

Many thanks for your contributions. The tentative ideas are:
1)  We need to take our family background into account on choosing a 'right' international school. That is, the family background of the students should be similar to ours.
2) If we are middle class paretns and have got two oustanding ISs for considerstion, our child(ren)should go to that one with more foreign students.

The questions would be:   
1) Which ISs in Hong Kong are (most) outstandng?
2) What are the family backgrounds of the students there?
3) What are the percentages of foreign students?
4) Can any middle class parents with child(ren) studying in ISs share their experience about the discussion------middle class children go along with other students from very rich family?      

ChingChingDad

I am a middle class parent, my son is studying in SJS.  I think He has no problem with rich kids studying in his class.  He said that they are luckier, no bad feeling.  Whenever He talks about money, I always make use of this opportunity to ask him to work harder and don't waste money.

The teachers don't care about who is rich and who is not.  They like smart, friendly and well-behaved kids, who doesn't?  

Don't worry, at least, some IS are not snobbish. In fact, some local elite schools are really snobbish.

oooray

Dear Lulusing,
Sorry for my wording (maybe too aggressive) but i do appreciate all of parents having a good chatting here. Your topic is a really good topics for open discussion!

Dear christf,
U have demonstrated what i am thinking.
I believe parents' attitudes are very, very important in handling these scenarios.
Our most important mission is to send our children for best education. Parents should be in positive attitude even if you are the poorest/richest amongst other classmates.
As ChingChind Dad said, snobbish students and parents are ueverywhere.
I think they just like cockroach that you are non-demolishable. Simply ignore them is good enough.
  

Govinda

Not at all

lulusing

Govinda 寫道:
Not at all

Dear Govinda,

Please elaborate. Thanks!

lulusing

Kycmc

What appears to be disturbing to adults may not bother children at all.

"We are friends to each other, rich or not, makes no difference in our school." That's my child's response.

lulusing

Kycmc 寫道:
What appears to be disturbing to adults may not bother children at all.

"We are friends to each other, rich or not, makes no difference in our school." That's my child's response.

It may not be the case in secondary schools. Any ideas?

oooray

Hi lulusing,
There must be some +ve and -ve examples in the real world.
Take it easy... :

emily06

lulusing,

Relax!

There are all kinds of people around.
It is just unrealistic to believe that children would be happier if they are in a school that is made up of children from almost the same financial background. There is simply no such school!

My children and I are quite "open" when we talk about money and luxurious goods. They know that I like nice handbags and diamonds. I know they would really like to have all Lego Bionicles. My husband has always wanted a Ferrari.

Everyone would have something he desires, even the richest. It is nothing to be ashamed of and in fact it is this desires that are the "energy" behind everyone - If you want a Ferrari, work hard. It is just not practical to try to avoid seeing a Ferrari or being friend with a Ferrari owner.

The best way is to teach children to think positively of their own desires; and befriend with all people, whether they are more fortunate or less fortunate. I have some friends that are much richer than I am, and also some that are less. We can all be good friends, so I do not understand why my children cannot do the same.

Kycmc

lulusing,

My child is in secondary.

Children's behaviour reflects family education more than how wealthy a family is. Rich families do not necessarily produce snobbish kids. But parents who feel ashamed of their average incomes are likely to instill in kids a sense of inferiority.

My child has no problem at all in getting along with rich classmates. I wouldn't like to see my child lose the chance to make friend with a good kid simply because he or she comes from a wealthy family.


[quote]
lulusing 寫道:

It may not be the case in secondary schools. Any ideas?

[quote]
Kycmc 寫道:
What appears to be disturbing to adults may not bother children at all.

"We are friends to each other, rich or not, makes no difference in our school." That's my child's response.