時光倒流回到初小時

motherotk

"看書，但不要沉迷"

When you child "看書and 沉迷", then it will be good. So difficult to develop children's passion on certain interest. I love my children to be "看書and 沉迷", then more curiousity to explore more, really benefit learning, at least at comprehension and compositions and general studies.

Also another benefit : Stress release. Children love reading as part of release for them when they feel stressful on academic learning. Within their own reading world, there are so many comforts and dreams, and also feeling of autonomy, that's all children need in their developmental stage.

motherotk

I won't change much. Sometimes it is very interesting to see children grow and I understand them each day, day by day, and sometimes I change some parenting skills based on my understanding of them.

Basically readings are good and I encourage "passionate" and "obsessive" readings, but not "obsessive" computer games.

Exam skills - mild reminders, but not "intensive training". No tutorial class and extra training. But will buy some exercises on Maths and English for checking if he grasp the concepts or not.

motherotk

當孩子在學習上遇上困難時, 我希望自己多体諒, 而不是用成人的角度/ 理解

I like that, wonderful reminder for me as well!!

motherotk

Not necessarily volunteer work at church or social service agencies. Sometimes these agencies are doing "superficial" services, or carrying out a concept that "you need to help", "we are going to help you".

I don't want my children to see himself or herself "higher" than those being "helped". Some churches or social service agencies can create this kind of "helping culture" unconsciously though their intention to help people is good. But still, that's not a real helping, no good to children.

My understanding of helping kids to know about the world in everyday life:

1) Respect your parents
2) Talk to elders in the bus or giving seats to them
3) Be polite to people different from your race, talk to them and to understand their food or culture
4) Be helpful to kids within same class, even those who are "naughty", who are "emotionally unstable", or whose academic standard different from them.
5) Respect teachers
6) talk to taxi drivers, asking questions
7) talk to bus drivers, asking them questions
8) go to the markets, see how people work there, talk to them, asking questions.
9) go to the public toilet, observe and talk to people working there
10) Be tolerate to people with different religion with you.
11) Be tolerate to people with different sexuality with you
12) Be tolerate to people with different political stands with you.
13) Respect people with different class and socio-economic background (Years ago, two universities in HK did not allow construction site workers to have lunch in their canteen, what kind of education they have for their students?

Personally I don't believe in tutoring centres with too strong "advertisements that students will be on the top of the world", schools with too strong "culture" that they are the only "elites" of the world, or religious organizations with too strong "teachings" .Basically I am not comfortable with strong "teachings" or "cultures" or "experts" or "authorities" I teach my kids to have doubts on how these strong "teachings", as I believe that they have unconsciously excluded someone else.

motherotk

Just have lunch with my co-worker today, she has two young people working together in her team:

1) Hong Kong boy graduated from famous local university
2) Hong Kong girl graduated from famous university in New York

Differences:
1) Boy: working within structure only, fear to explore new ideas, work within boundary, very boring and very narrow minded, though with good academic results, connecting with people only with practical reasons, very rigid to work within his own worldview, such as Chinese and religious and his own academic worldview

2) Girl: Very creative, comfortable to explore new ideas, connecting with people naturally, genuinely want to know and to understand people, though some of the areas or people are different from her experiences, she is able to connect them genuinely, not only because of "practical" reasons.

I am not saying that education in NY is absolutely better than in HK, but just a part of reflections.

motherotk

响過程中有什麼得著, 學會什麼, 觀察到什麼

That's really wonderful! Observation skills are really important!

motherotk

回復 Charlotte_mom 的帖子

that's wonderful..

motherotk

學校又好喜歡這班讀書叻的人,有冇自理能力,有冇common sense, 唔關佢地事

these kind of training - may have bring about "career success" in their life, but in certain time of their life, they may get lost if these are not their career goals, but their parents' goals or goals from the mainstream..

I knew few boys from famous boys' schools, when we share about the life goals, quite a few of them said: "earn money, buy the house", not really know...as most of their time spending in school to achieve sports talent and other special kinds of "talents" for their mums, or for their schools... I felt really sad...

where am I? who am I after I fulfill my parents' wish or earn my school great honour after all? All their secondary school life has been filled with other people's expectations....

besides sadness, I felt angry sometimes..

motherotk

回復 ANChan59 的帖子

Hi ANCHan, that's good question..

These are personal experiences. You have good reminders for the reader to understand that my personal experiences are not statistically significant and infer to all other boys in HK.

I came from girl's school and my husband came from boy's school. We decided to send our children to co-ed school in primary school, Of course, the selctions of school match our children and also match our own philosophy of parenting or education.

Back to the post - how this discussion relate to secondary school selection: remain the same philosophy, select a school that match my son's personality, potential and our parenting philosophy, may be co-ed or boy's school, more liberal and less technical skill training school, such as WY, CKY, will try, .but..not very sure about his last two years' perfomance, also with great anxiety as all other mums at BK at this stage...etc.. etc..

Still, this is case study from my personal experience, not able to infer to all other families.

motherotk

回復 csy_ma 的帖子

Yes, that's what we need in primary school and secondary school in Hong Kong -人文學科

Our primary schools fill with very technical training - computer skills, exam skill training, presentation skills, bra bra bra....skills skills where is humanity training, not at all...We are conditioned to be machines to operate these skills without creativity and critical reflections.

Back to the post - for my son, I think I can have more time with him to have critical discussion on his school policy and curriculum. Since change of principal, changes of policies, not necessarily good to kids (in my point of view of course)...

If people ask how this discussion relate to this post - benefit to the secondary school selection-- then this critical discussion is an "interview" training, to train his independent thinking and communication skills of course!

motherotk

回復 csy_ma 的帖子

關心的東西都相對窄，聚會話題相對少而沉悶

Really shared your feelings!! Probably due to their education and parenting experiences. Knowledge base is not extensive, and perspective is very limited.....

Most of my "soulmates" are quite rebellious, critical and reflective about what they have received education in HK, and most have extensive life experiences other than their own career or education.

motherotk

"中文作文題目加入考學生融合能力和切入角度的選擇，僅＂檸檬茶＂三個字要學生成文，顯示平日不按框框的胡思亂想的重要（我通常會叫學生避開這種題目，因為冇得教"

That's a new expectations for kids in this new generation. I do not think that skill training, e.g. computer skills, PPT skills, or communication oral skills training will have met this requirement in the long run..

It's about attitudes on exploring something you don't know, self reflection abilities - to know and admit own barriers, to understand own strengths and appreciate that, as well as extensive knowledge base, without extensive knowledge base, how can you integrate (cross-discipline) ?

motherotk

About "一條龍": Most of us understand that this will be better than going through again the secondary school selection ...most of us are asking for 一條龍, including me at the time of P1 admission application, thinking about if this is the criteria ..

My friend shared with me 6 years ago on her two daughters' experiences. They said that sometimes we have to observe children's potential and talents at different stages of their development, and based on that timely assessment to find a good fit secondary school for them. The couple actually has education allowance to allow their children to be admitted to "一條龍": internaitonal school.

They chose to have their children to go to local Chinese school (for the reasons to build foundation Chinese language), not famous one. Then go to a band 1b local secondary school. Then admit to international IB curriculum at Form Three (pre-planned)..to establish enquiry based mind, creative and independent thinking bra bra bra....

Her daughter admitted to HKU and accepted by few good universities in UK.
A lots of exchange programs at HKU to expand her life experiences at Europe and other cultures.. Their second daughter is now on the same way..

Their experiences and advices gave me some reflections on my understanding of 一條龍, and to remind me to refocus on my child's real developmental needs, and to tthink what is the best interest for the child?

motherotk

If you have money, expensive IB is still available..not difficult for admission, but you have to think about if the english foundation is solid or not as IB needs good language competence.

IB= expensive+good english..

motherotk

但深入接觸的來來去去都是同一群人，能否有礙小朋友切身體會到世界的多元可能性？

Wonderful perspective!!

motherotk

發現來自不同地方的同學，身上都有其地方的水土特性，有時是他們自己也覺察不了的晶石（因屬於其地方的人文特質，孕育的時間遠較同學們當時的年齡長），例如來自蒙古同學比較率真，來自江浙的同學說話較委婉，所謂講野有骨，來自北京的同學－－最初只能聽到他們一句的頭尾幾個字……這些不同的地方品性，固然也帶來交流障礙，但更多是衝擊火花。

Totally agree with you.. how about international school in HK, will that be able to see diverse views from different culture? How about the new trend in Universities in HK, their insistence in "Internationalization", recruiting more diverse student populations? all these help as well? or just a superficial kind of policy?

motherotk

A friend of mine is researching school culture, on those schools cultivate "perfectionism" and understand how these cultures affecting the academic development of children in primary school. She used to be a teacher of these kinds of school.

I really want to know her research results. Her experiences in schools gave me some reflections on parenting, especially when facing children's "perfectionism" - as my son has this kind of inclination, I perceive this sometimes barriers for his social and emotional development, interactively may affect his academic achievement. I tried to put him in a less "perfect" school environment, to train him to feel more relax about his "mistakes" or not to compare with others, but to have more internal reflections...

I believe that if a culture is full of "perfectionist" values, kids are more inclined to feel good about self based on external comparison, less focus on self ... I guess....back to the topic, if back to P1, I will use the same ways.

If on secondary school selection, based on present situation, I found my son has good feelings about himself, his self-estemm has been built quite solidly. So I think he is prepared to face more challening environment in secondary school now, but still, I prefer more space for children to grow in secondary school as well...

My observation on my own kid, case study only, not statistically significant...

motherotk

Parenting can be very diverse, no absolute right or wrong.