How to nurture a confident and outgoing baby girl

registerzh

Hi all, I am a mother of a 6mo baby girl. I wish to send her to top IS when she's in K and I would like to do the best right now. I will send her to playgroups but I'm afraid they only occupy a limited period of time and they are not enough to develop her social skills and her self-confidence. So I would like to ask you guys what else can I do to nurture her social skills and self-confidence at home? Or what extra activities I should arrange? Thanks a lot in advance!

Goodluck2022

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你需要去小紅書找升學顧問， 錢可解決！

registerzh

Goodluck2022 發表於 23-6-5 13:22
回覆 registerzh 的帖子

你需要去小紅書找升學顧問， 錢可解決！

Hi thanks for your advice. I will also check out 小紅書. My first impression on them are institutions that jsut earn profit on putting a child in a whatever IS (no matter good or bad). I didn't know that they also teaches how parents raise their kids. Looks like I possess a wrong stereotype of them.

registerzh

Goodluck2022 發表於 23-6-5 13:22
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你需要去小紅書找升學顧問， 錢可解決！

May I also have more advice on 小紅書 consultants? Do you have any recommendations? Thank you very much.

kooliestgirl

I think the most effective way is to take your  kid out as much as possible. My mum was used to look after my girl and took her out everyday. she met a lot of strangers and became very sociable. I won't say she is strong in academic as I am not focusing to make her to be one of them but she is definitely sociable and make friends very easily.

registerzh

kooliestgirl 發表於 23-6-5 14:44
I think the most effective way is to take your  kid out as much as possible. My mum was used to look ...

Hi Kooliestgirl, thank you so much for sharing! May I know starting from what age  did your mum bring her out? I tried to bring my girl out everyday since she was 5 months old. But she looked very bored (at least her look was bored and sleepy). When I talked to others, she didn't look like interested and didn't smile at all......and when she went back home, she smiled immediately to the elderly at home... I wonder how I can improve myself to make her happy outside. Or was she just too shy to reach out outside? Thank you for your advice!

Goodluck2022

回覆 registerzh 的帖子

I dont have any specific recommendations.
I just think there is no harm to check on what they offer and evaluate independently as to whether you would like to go with them.

Are you guys from Hong Kong or Mainland China ?

No offense. Just try to make some friends. Can PM me.

kooliestgirl

registerzh 發表於 23-6-5 15:24
Hi Kooliestgirl, thank you so much for sharing! May I know starting from what age  did your mum brin ...

my mum is a super outgoing person, I think she took her out for yum cha daily since she was about 3 months, then my mum met other grandmas and went out together. All waiters/waitresses, management knew my girl well.

I am a very hand on mum too even I work full time and will take her out on every weekend. We go to church weekly where she would be on her own since very young age and we did a lot of overseas hokiday since she was 9 months old, we flies everywhere with her.

Breastfeeding seems very helpful too..I did breastfeed my girl for a very long time.

bigheadshrimp

registerzh 發表於 23-6-5 12:48
Hi all, I am a mother of a 6mo baby girl. I wish to send her to top IS when she's in K and I would l ...

I think it’s great that you care so much about your child’s education, but please try to relax and enjoy the time you have with your baby girl because kids really do grow up too quickly!

Since your child is so young, you can just start with playing games and reading to her at home. This will help develop her communication skills, which she will need to build her social skills. It doesn’t really matter what you are reading to her, as long as you are doing it. Babies can learn so much from just listening to your tone of voice. You can also describe everything you are doing with her. This will help her build her vocabulary so she will have the words when she is ready to start talking. While she will only parallel play for now, you can start organizing play dates for your baby. Again, this will help with the social skills. Playgroups are only a platform. They will expose your child to different environments and give you ideas on learning activities, but at the end of the day, what you do with your child outside of class is way more important.

I know it’s ironic, but the best way you can do to help build her confidence is to let go. Don’t try to do everything for her, as most moms will have the urge to do. Encourage her to try things on her own. Let her know it’s ok to fail. She won’t have the confidence to be on her own if adults constantly tell her to not do this and not do that. If she wants to explore a new environment on her own, let her. Just make sure she knows you will always be there for her if she needs you.

Maybe this wasn’t what you had in mind when you asked the question, but hopefully this helps.

Goodluck2022

回覆 bigheadshrimp 的帖子

Your English is brilliant.
Are you a foreigner ?

registerzh

回覆 kooliestgirl 的帖子

Haha I see. I guess the babies just watch and learn from their carers. Thank you so much for the examples. They are very inspiring. I guess the key is to be the role model of her. If I want her to be out-going, I'd better show her how to social. If I want her to live in a western way, I'd better provide her with the chance to immerse in the environment.
I guess why she's shy and "bored" is because she felt my stress when I tried to talk to strangers outside haha. I should improve myself and be comfortable to socialize before expecting her to enjoy going out.

Thank you for your examples again and now I know how to ask my mum to bring her out to yum cha (chuckle).

Adiezz

Your child is still very young. Playgroups and other activities can certainly help, but it's okay to hand off and let her explore and learn at her own pace.

At this stage, the most important thing is giving her love and care - spending time in playing and interacting with her, reading books, singing songs. A strong bonding between you and your child will help boost her self-confidence.

When she grows older, you can expose her  a variety of activities and experiences that can help develop her social skills and interests. But now just take it easy and enjoy the time with your daughter.

Top IS are always competitive. Just try you best but don’t put too much pressure on you and the kid.

simonchan1986

If your only intention is to send her to top IS, then I would recommend you to get a FP (if you don't have one) asap, and buy debenture from these top school asap (some have waitlist)...

As for social skills, I think you may have worried too much...she is only 6 months old...As long as you speak more to her daily, arrange play-dates with other kids it should be good enough...but that being said, some of the more famous PG like ITT may help

janellechan

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When baby is 6 months old, I think they just need to sleep and eat/milk. I am a mom of 3 kids. My elder daughter is 6 now and she is totally an extrovert. She’s in a good IS now. I have to say, it’s not the case that everyone in her class is extrovert. Children only develops their social skill after 1 year old (personal experience, no prof support). So you don’t need to give so much pressure to yourself. It’s really true that kids imitate the care givers. I m also an extrovert and I always talk to strangers in coffee shops or chit chat with neighbors or even security guards. I guess it would help.

If turn out your daughter is an introvert, it doesn’t mean that the chance for her to get into top IS is lower. Being independent is very important too. If children is capable of doing a lot of things by themselves, they would somehow be more confident.

After 3 years old, kids start to make friends and have their own conversations with friends. You can organize more play dates which definitely helps.

Goodluck2022

A 6-month old baby can develop social skills and communication skills through interaction with parents and strangers.
You should have your kid to be exposed to different environments.

registerzh

bigheadshrimp 發表於 23-6-5 18:04
I think it’s great that you care so much about your child’s education, but please try to relax an ...

Hi Bigheadshrimp, thank you so much for the advice! You give me quite a few directions to explore. And now I know the logic behind how reading to my baby can facilitate her to social. I bought some reading materials too but I found her not interested in the readings too. And that's the point where I give up. I will pick it up again and hopefully I gradually develop her interest into readings. Glad that you guys remind me when she is only 6mo. There are still plenty of time for me to spend with her.
And yes your suggestions on building her confidence sounds uncomfortable at first. But you are right that I shall let her go to try on her own. She build her confidence by making her own decisions. If I set too many rules for her to follow, she won't be good at exploring her own possibilities in the future. That's a very valuable advice that I will take. Much obliged!

registerzh

Adiezz 發表於 23-6-5 20:04
Your child is still very young. Playgroups and other activities can certainly help, but it's okay to ...

Hi Adiezz. Yes when I look back to the past few monthes, I find that I've been too anxious about her development and future path. I have been searching for IS all day long but spend little time to play with my daughter or to hug her. I always think that after I finish work, there will be time. But there won't be an end or a full stop of my work. So I just now realize that I should arrange time routinely to spend with her instead of making fake wishes to play with her after all my things done. The strong connections and trust is more important than any training/learning for her at this age.  I will keep that in mind. Thank you so much for your sharing! Much appreciated.

registerzh

simonchan1986 發表於 23-6-5 20:57
If your only intention is to send her to top IS, then I would recommend you to get a FP (if you don' ...

Hi Simonchan1986, thank you for your advice. Yes we will consider the debenture but it's also hard as we don't find the sellers or platforms to trade. If you have any idea where the debentures are listed could you PM me a clue? Thank you in advance!
Yes haha after discussion with you guys I realize that maybe I've been too nervious on the competetion of nourishing a kid. I will try to arrange play-dates first and see what's the next to go for.

For ITT, I thought it was merely a stepping stone for Braemar Hill. Since we are only middle class in HK, we didn't even "daydream" to apply for it. That said, I never did any serious research into ITT itself. I would like to know why you suggest ITT for building her social skills? Is it because of the parent community? Or do you have other insights about this playgroup? Thanks a lot for your suggestions!

simonchan1986

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There are not that many top IS that allow their debenture to trade in secondary market...for those still having secondary market, you can try google it...for some others, there is no secondary market and you will need to contact the admission officer of the school directly.
For ITT, full disclosure I didn't enrol my kid to it but I heard a lot stories about kids joining ITT and went to CIS (though there is no official connections between the two)...

registerzh

janellechan 發表於 23-6-5 21:31
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When baby is 6 months old, I think they just need to sleep and eat/milk. I a ...

Hi Janellechan! Haha  I and my husband are introverts. We always admire those who make friends easily and who can express themselves in front of people without pressure. Maybe I should change myself before turning her into talkative/outgoing haha. Good to know that they really begin to socialize after 1 year old. It means I still have some time to change. I will definitely arrange play-dates with friends. Hope it can help her to overcome her anxiety to meet and talk to new friends.
Thank you for your advice for building her self-care skills. Yes after digging a bit more about this idea I found that it helps to build confidence for child in their early age. And I guess it will help to build their self-esteem too. Glad that I found another valuable piece of advice! Thank you!