嚴浩 半畝田 可憐小學雞

kwokyk

可憐小學雞（一）



你對學童孩子有多少瞭解？你對孩子們上學的環境有多少瞭解？有一位家長來信這樣說：「比較起我自己的童年，現在的孩子實在太早、太小就要進入成年人的世界，按成人的標準被要求。」這是一個非常準確的觀察，社會針對幼童的教育方針有四個字可以概括：揠苗助長。以下是來信全文。
Clarice：（第一封信）「這幾天讀了您一位讀者媽媽的故事，心有戚戚然，我小兒子也有相同故事，據我所知，我周圍就有至少五個相似故事。雖然您的故事還沒說完，接下來的結果大致猜得出。自從小兒四歲進入香港所謂的『名校』以來，我就沒有一天快樂過，比較起我自己的童年，現在的孩子實在太早、太小就要進入成年人的世界，按成人的標準被要求。
我小兒子曾多次被學校要求做心理評估，並建議吃藥，以壓抑孩子的天性，我個人認為有很多時候這是學校推卸責任的方式──本校無足夠支援來支持你一個學生，但一旦孩子被標籤以後，一輩子都難抬起頭來。孩子是從別人的眼中看到自己，隨着年齡漸長，我經常和他解釋，希望他能瞭解，現在他已中一，仍是畏畏縮縮。我有很多體會，遲一些再寫，希望能幫到其他身在其中，有苦說不出的家長們。」                                                                                                                                                                                          



嚴浩  




                                                                                                                     
http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/supplement/columnist/%E5%9A%B4%E6%B5%A9/art/20140421/18695391

kwokyk

可憐小學雞（二）



Clarice：（第二封信）「小兒四歲時，被香港一家人人擠破頭想進的國際學校錄取，面試之後，副校長告訴我，小兒子成績一般，握筆姿勢不對，但it's ok，會被錄取，當時喜出望外，覺得運氣怎麼這麼好，同時報考的幾位朋友孩子都未被錄取。第二天副校長在電話中要我確認錄取，但小兒需做occupation therapy，強化他的大小肌肉，一個星期至少三次，一次治療至少900元，是一筆不小的負擔。每天小兒都會被從正規上堂中叫出來，由專門老師加強他的能力，儘管如此，期末家長會時，班導師竟建議小兒降班，主因是小兒寫字不夠熟練，但我們反對，班導師也就未堅持。升上小一後換了一位年輕老師，第一次家長會時，要求小兒子除了治療外也要做言語治療，因為老師覺得小兒很多WH開頭的句子，我們實在負擔不起，後來也停止了OT治療，一來負擔不起，也覺得沒什麼用。學校召開會議，講了許多我和丈夫聽不懂的話，大意是我小兒子『有問題』，學校要求心理醫生評估。評估報告出來，小兒一切OK，唯一就是不太會讀『non-verbal language』。按理而言，學校應該到此為止，但學校又安排了幾次會議，大意仍是『你孩子有很嚴重的問題』，這次更離譜，要求小兒子早上去一間自閉症專門學校去上課，下午才能回學校，如果不照做就不能留在學校。我這輩子第一次聽到『自閉症』，從網上查詢後，很訝異小兒竟被標上了籤！再續。」   





  
嚴浩

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/su ... t/20140422/18696067

kwokyk

可憐小學雞（三）


Clarice：（第三封信）「小兒子自小不如他哥哥早熟，但也無妨，每個孩子發展速度不同，也不至於到所謂自閉的地步。我和丈夫討論後決定將小兒轉到哥哥的小學。小二開始沒多久，有一天班導師叫我到學校，問我為甚麼轉學，我說希望兩兄弟在一起方便照顧，沒多久副校長召見我們，要求心理評估，這次報告出來，說我小兒子有ADHD（過動）和Asperger（亞氏保加症，在自閉邊緣，重要特徵是社交困難，伴隨着興趣狹隘及重複特定行為），我們須自僱EA隨班幫助小兒子，一直到現在，小兒子仍有EA幫忙。下篇再續。」
Clarice：（第四封信）「後來我才發現，小兒被上次那間名校錄取時是以『特殊學生』身份被錄取的，也就是說，學校明知小兒學習表現應不及同齡，而仍然錄取，為甚麼在一位難求下，不錄取其他表現優異的孩子？如果一開始就知道孩子有肌肉問題，而肌肉問題又與寫字和學習表現有直接關係，那麼錄取小兒更加不近常理，因為發展肌肉並非一蹴可即，這是常識。這樣分析，錄取小兒的原因大概只有一個，學校並不希望我們待太久。這家國際學校除了學費以外，還向我們這些沒有學校債券的收取一次性費用，若中途離開學校，等於放棄。後來發現同期同學，若沒有學校債券，都被學校以各種不同的理由多番刁難，最終都以轉校收場，且都或多或少被冠以某種標籤，這些家長都愛面子，只好吃暗虧……」
學校債券？現在進學校念書要買債券？   





  
嚴浩

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/su ... t/20140423/18697070

kwokyk

可憐小學雞（四）


Clarice：（第四封信）「但這暗虧我們可吃大了，小兒轉學後，新學校馬上向舊學校拿紀錄，成見馬上形成，在那麼小的年齡，只要有人說你有問題，馬上周圍的人也會覺得你有問題，小兒從一開始只不過是寫字不太行的孩子，在被標籤後，變成了帶有標籤的人。從"non-verbal learning disability"變成"Asperger和ADHD"，當老師認為你是某種人後，甚至告訴其他小朋友你的問題時，就算你是個正常人，都會表現的如周圍人所期望。
又因為小兒子經常被由正規上堂叫出，接受加強訓練，當他回正規堂時，同學都看着他，他從此以後都不敢上台領獎。也不喜歡別人看着他，因為那代表他不同，他不希望與人不同。
後來他被配置EA，也形成他無法自己做功課，因為EA都會幫他做。小兒子變得在學習上很依賴。直到現在中一了，都還要依賴EA。我擔心他一輩子都要依賴別人而無法獨立。」
家長Clarice的來信暴露了時下學校的幾個問題：
1，學校要求家長購買所謂學校債券，這不是強逼的，但買債券的家長與沒有買債券的家長是否有不同待遇？學校不會承認對兩種家長分別對待，但不可以否認其中有漏洞，既然有漏洞，誰來監管？債券是百分之百的商業行為，是否適合在學校推行？「買了債券學校會對孩子好一點」，這是家長們的心理，學校利用家長的脆弱心理推銷債券，是否有道義？好比醫院要求病人先購買「醫院債券」，病人是買還是不買？   

  
嚴浩

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/su ... t/20140424/18698182

kwokyk

可憐小學雞（五）



Clarice信中說：「小兒轉學後，新學校馬上向舊學校拿紀錄，成見馬上形成，在那麼小的年齡，只要有人說你有問題，馬上周圍的人也會覺得你有問題……」
新學校問舊學校拿轉校生的紀錄，這叫調閱人事檔案，在民主制度下，只有罪犯才被成立人事檔案。在從前大陸，幾乎每一個人都有人事檔案，只有中共黨員或領導有權查閱，而且特別規定本人和親屬不得查看。在非民主制度下，人事檔案是決定個人升學、就業、評定職稱、提拔，開具證明所必需的，由公民所在單位管理，對個人命運影響很大，但公民本人沒有知情權，所以也很難改正其中的錯誤，即使是被陷害也沒有辦法改變。如果單位拒絕將個人檔案從本單位轉移到另一個單位，公民就無法自由流動，例如報考大學，學校要先收人事檔案再發錄取通知，公民於是被剝奪了接受高等教育的權利。香港的學校居然成立人事檔案制度，如果是真的，你可以想像其中的野蠻和愚蠢嗎？而且被監控的對象是孩子，孩子的心智隨着年齡的增長和環境的改變而改變，一個夏天過去已經有可能是成人的心智，換了一個壓抑的環境也可能變了一個人，這時候讓新的學校看孩子從前的人事檔案有甚麼積極的意義？我不願意在看了一兩封讀者來信後就為現在的教育制度下結論，但從來信中我感受到的學校不是一個教育和學習的氣氛，反而是一個為了更有效管理囚犯而設計的懲教氣氛。
為甚麼孩子要被成立檔案？文化教育不止是積累知識，更重要的是心智塑造，除非想把孩子塑造成一個內心陰暗的人。   





  
嚴浩

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/su ... t/20140425/18699403

jolalee

Hm, many parents do not believe in (or does not WANT to believe in) their children having some sort of issues in reality, be it ADHD, ASD or SPD etc., and they try to blame it on the school. From the repeated over-generalized statements like 大意仍是『你孩子有很嚴重的問題』, it does seem like the parents are really quite clueless as to what's wrong with their child.

Nowadays we have an increased understanding about autism and ADHD, meaning more children are being diagnosed earlier than ever before. Early diagnosis is the best way to effectively treat both conditions. Most of the time, with sufficient early intervention, kids can improve drastically. However, it does require great effort from the parents.

We are fortunate to find out very early on that due to being born with a mildly twisted neck my son has SPD (sensory processing disorder, or Sensory integration issues - 感覺統合問題). It took me half a year to get it through my thick skull, but given we found out early, we still had sufficient time to rectify the issues. The golden period for settling any neural developmental problems is before age 3, but even by age 6 if sufficient effort is put forth into therapy (both at home and at the OT), the child should be able to resolve any detrimental problems.

In just 2 weeks with weekly private OT & daily home therapy i noticed my son really calmed down, and after 1/2 a year of OT even our neighbor swore he's a totally different person -- much less agitated and more focused. His attention span is still a bit behind kids his age (currently 3.5 years old), but with daily effort he is improving. Our OT tell us the next improvement really depend on the parents now, and that i must give him appropriate daily exercises and home therapy. It is quite draining for me but i saw results, and that's what's matters. I see another slightly older boy in my son's soccer class that behaved exactly like how he acted a year ago, and i am so glad that we went through all the therapies. Of course i also told that boy's mother what we went through so that she can help her son as she sees fit.

For the above article, I truly believe that the school saw some potential in that boy during the interview (kids with Asperger can turn out to be geniuses), and really want to give him a chance. When they spotted the problems and had meetings with the parents, it is the school's way of reaching out to get the parents on the same boat to help them. Unfortunately, the parents do not seem to want to understand and seem to blame the debenture of all things...! [For parents who did not purchase debentures from their IS please verify what i suspect? that it is not the reason that this family is being 'discriminated' against?]


It is true though, that in American public schools kids do get over diagnosed so that teachers do not need to deal with over active kids. Is our societies becoming less tolerant, or that this happens in all generations, depending on who you meet? I heard of a girl who was over active and the mom took her to a psychologist (this is back in the 60's). The shrink told her, "your daughter does not have a problem, you just need to let her dance!". That girl later became the top choreographer in USA. Whoopi Goldberg, Tom Cruise, Anthony Hopkins, Keira Knightley all has dyslexia.  Walt Disney (The Founder of Disneyland), Justin Timberlake, 陳奕迅, Michael Jordan, Jim Carrey,  John F. Kennedy, Richard Branson all has ADHD. Even Albert Eistein, we now suspect, had Asperger and/or adult ADHD. So although the boy in the story many have issues, his life is not set in stone yet.

It is good to notice problems early to help the children to overcome their issues, but it's something else when the society start popping drugs into children's mouths and ask them to sit still. There's a fine line between help & covering the problems, and all parents and teachers must tread carefully. For my son, i am giving him as much help as i can at this point, but will gladly celebrate who he is and who he want to become as he matures. I just want to give him options. As to whether he wants to be an actor or scientist or chef or banker or athlete, as long as he finds passion in what he does, i am a happy mother.

hkparent

原帖由 jolalee 於 14-04-26 發表
本帖最後由 jolalee 於 14-4-26 01:29 編輯

Hm, many parents do not believe in (or does not WANT to  ...

Well said. I think Yim Ho simply wants to sell his 食療 for children with learning problems. I suspect the one who started this thread has some kind of connection with him. You may see if any type of advertisement about the effectiveness of his recipes will be posted here.

jolalee

feipow 發表於 14-4-26 08:59
I dun agree with the parents in the letter at all!!  I thought the school just want to give their so ...

Given my son is born in Nov (one of the youngest in the class) and boys do mature 1-2 years later than girls, i'd more than happy to keep my son back a year if the school allows him to do so. (For school application purposes we had to apply in accordance to his birth year). However, one must also look at how the child feel if everyone moves on and he lags behind, and i am sure the parents in the above article meant well for their boy... You are right Feipow, it is important to look at the bigger picture in the long run. My husband did repeated a year after he moved to Australia while he was still in kindergarten, and academically he turns out to be exceptional ;)

kwokyk

回覆 hkparent 的帖子

I have no connection with Yim Ho. I only want to share the information here. No other meaning. May be I should post it on other forum.

hedonist

原帖由 kwokyk 於 14-04-26 發表
回覆 hkparent 的帖子

I have no connection with Yim Ho. I only want to share the information here. N ...

There is a book by a famous psychologist called " Back to normal": http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0807073342?pc_redir=1398432618&robot_redir=1

Basically he cites statistics that indicates a significant number of mental disorder cases (ADHD, Autistic spectrum disorder etc) are mis-diagnosed!  40% something  children diagnosed as Autistic spectrum disorder in early years are normal several years later.  It's not due to early intervention, but due to false positive aka misdiagnosis in early years.  

So I think there is merit in this article, our education system puts too much pressure on kids and parents, whoever just deviate from so called "average" is considered abnormal.  Insane!

jolalee

hedonist 發表於 14-4-26 11:43
There is a book by a famous psychologist called " Back to normal": http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/080 ...

I agree with you, that many are misdiagnosed. The kid in this article do genuinely  seem to have a problem, if he has been 'noticed' by several teachers though.

Again, better safe than sorry. I won't go to the extent of popping pills, but if kids need their daily dose of running and jumping and rolling on the grass, then why should we be stopping them from doing it? [this is what OT does in therapy anyway, just more focused and well programmed]

During an SI class earlier on, the therapist asked my son to jump down from a low table... that's exactly something that i have prevented him from doing at home    Now i learn to let him do more jumping when we are out to play. I think parents in Asian in general have prevented kids from developing normally since birth by strapping them in strollers and high chairs all the time in the name of "the ground is dirty". Kids in K1 are expected to sit quietly etc in some KG... that's not very child-minded. Kids who can adapt are fine, but kids who cannot sit still are labelled as "naughty" in traditional schools, and "ADHD" in International schools.

Some kids are just naturally more active than others, but in the long run that's their energy level too, and would be beneficial as they mature into another top entrepreneur, chef, athlete, singer or actor. The key is acceptance by both the family and school, and help them channel that energy to hone a certain skill / passion.

紅紅

一個保護孩子的母親的片面之詞，她不喜歡學校label孩子，嚴浩亦不應以一人供詞用假設方式來label兩間學校的制度。

『 。。。『特殊學生』身份被錄取的，也就是說，學校明知小兒學習表現應不及同齡，而仍然錄取，為甚麼在一位難求下，不錄取其他表現優異的孩子？如果一開始就知道孩子有肌肉問題，而肌肉問題又與寫字和學習表現有直接關係，那麼錄取小兒更加不近常理，因為發展肌肉並非一蹴可即，這是常識。這樣分析，錄取小兒的原因大概只有一個，學校並不希望我們待太久 』

很陰謀論，家長也懂說有表現更優異的孩子，其實可以直接取錄那些孩子，學校為何要那麼轉接，要收了她兒子後再迫佢走呢？每星期開會就是為了“屈”小朋友有問題，你估學校好得閒?

信中提及學校很多幫助小朋友的建議，只是家長不願配合， 她提及説小孩有問題，即是學校推卸責任，我就覺得推卸責任的是家長，認為所有問題都是源於學校，自己只是不斷的in self denial mode ... 千錯萬錯都是学校的錯，别人的錯，社會的錯，自己完全冇問題的，得罪講句，十分怪獸。

KinkiAbby

原帖由 jolalee 於 14-04-26 發表
本帖最後由 jolalee 於 14-4-26 01:29 編輯

Hm, many parents do not believe in (or does not WANT to  ...

我睇左你篇回覆好感動呀，我的兒子現時兩歲，剛剛發現有發展遲緩，語言及理角有自閉症特徵。
我本身都係打算俾仔仔讀IS，由診斷到開始言語治療都係呢個月發生，所受既壓力真係從來未試過。
看了你的回應，覺得有所頓悟，小朋友應該grow with the way they are，我地更應該做一個happy mom
謝謝你。

jolalee

KinkiAbby 發表於 14-4-27 14:45
我睇左你篇回覆好感動呀，我的兒子現時兩歲，剛剛發現有發展遲緩，語言及理角有自閉症特徵。
我本身都係打 ...

你是一個好媽媽，一發現孩子有issues便立刻去處理！二至三歲是治療黃金期，做得幾多做幾多，你會發現孩子這個時段能進步得很快! 我姪仔也有語言遲緩及Asperger特徵, 二歲多近三歲才發現，做了年多治療後好了很多。現在五歲social及上學都沒有大問題，數學依然非常好。老人家或朋友不明白的話，他們的說話不用多聽，一年半載後孩子的results會替你說話。如果可以，不要讓孩子看電視玩phone玩ipad等，多溝通多運動，特別是對感統有益的對自閉和ADHD都很大幫助。這一年會較辛苦但是是值得的，將來孩子怎樣我相信你都會很愛他和認同他。<3

oooray

回覆 kwokyk 的帖子

如果你只是想分享和理性討論；你沒有來錯地方；如果你只祈望認同這些文章；不想聽反對面意見；你真的來錯了。

我一直欣賞嚴浩的分享；也看過他寫的書。但奇怪是花了5天篇幅分享別人的故事；卻沒有指出及正視問題(其他家長已作詳盡分享)；反諉過於人；某程度把IS妖魔化。實在令人費解。
與其把標題作"可憐小學雞"；不如改作"可憐天下父母心"更合適。

Artie

oooray 發表於 14-4-28 11:16
回覆 kwokyk 的帖子

如果你只是想分享和理性討論；你沒有來錯地方；如果你只祈望認同這些文章；不想聽反對 ...

在香港，IS 是少數，醜化 IS  基本上應該得到大部份人歡心，真係用心良苦。
不過可惜，公度自在人心。
教育講場那邊都有討論這幾篇報導，很多不是國際學校家長的網友，都不認同文中家長的思維就是了。