what should I do?

Butterfly927

I think the most crucial part is you. Don't mean to sound offensive, you sound quite a traditional mother. I switched from St. Paul to IS when I was in secondary school. For me, I had the best education years in IS, it broadened my international mindset and social skills, my parents didn't have to worry about my homework ever. While I was having the time of my life, doing so great at school, my mother on the other hand was getting more and more depressed, getting very paranoid easily. You have to be a certain type of cool mom to brew a confident girl. LS is your security blanket, once you let it go, will you loose your mind and put your relationship with your girl in jeopardy? Well said that she might be ready for the international gateway, but are you? Will you be the one pulling her back?

shadeslayer

Well said. If the parents mindset is not in tune with the particular IS (or any school) it is not going to the happily-ever-after ending.

alpham0m

If your girl is thriving where she is and you are very happy with the current school, why even bother? If nothing is wrong, why fix it? Just because a teacher said something that might be or might not be true? I would actually talk to that teacher in more detail and verify what she meant before I go on any further...

broadband

回覆 Butterfly927 的帖子

Hi Butterfly927, 你說得一點也沒錯, 我是一個很保守, 不想冒險的人, 而且也很喜歡當年讀書時的傳統教學. 活動教學絕對不適合我. 我問了囡囡, 她說最喜歡老師問問題與小組討論及遊戲教學時間. 而且她一直都是組長. 但她不想離開現在的老師及同學.

由於我對IS的教學模式不熟悉. 請你告訴我你們以前是怎樣上課的.

Butterfly927

If that's the case, let's think your options through.

If your girl stays in LS:
She will be happy to be where ever she is at now and you will feel contented and secure, because you think she is on the "right track". You may wonder from time to time "what if she is in IS". BUT i think it wouldn't be a major problem to handle your "what if"s. She might end up in one of the universities in HK, graduate and get a job? Be a 中產?
If your girl switches to IS:
She will go through at least 6 months of culture shock (I know she hangs around with westerner sometimes, but being in a school environment is a whole different story). This stage is a major step for her to step out of her comfort zone and learn how to deal with the international stage. The mother on the other hand will have to get prepared for her transformation. Your concern shouldn't be "IS的教學模式", you have to get prepared with your daughter's personality transformation. Would you go nuts if a boy calls her for project discussion or something more? What if you notice her skirt got shorter than before? (wearing short skirt doesn't mean you are a slut, it just LS skirt lengths have to be below knees, well, that doesn't look very smart and fashionable honestly, and IT IS DORKY) Trust me, in my days, my mother and I argued endlessly about my skirt's length and it was soooo tiring and disturbing for me and for her. So get prepared for all these side issues other than education! You won't have to worry about her education in IS. The friends I hanged around with back then, went the Cambridge, Yale and Oxford. (I was forced to go back to St. Paul's and it was a disaster, well that's another story. I hope your daughter won't have to go through what I had been through...)
Now I have a 2 year daughter and I will definitely throw her into the international school system. I want to encourage her to walk out of her comfort zone, experience the world, be able to get along with different nationalities, understand and respect cultures. She doesn't always have to be within my security zone, I would want her to be better and go further than I am able to be.
I don't have a definitely answer for you because it is your life. Hope my advice can help your family.

Fatrara

You also might go nuts with her not having much homework, playing all the time, during primary school years.   There is nothing much to really help you gauge what she has learnt, her standing in her class.....etc.

By the time she goes to secondary school, things starting to get very busy for her, and you might feel frustrated not being able to help her with her school works - they are mostly writings, projects, research, field trips.....etc.

But in return, you will see that everything will come together in her studies in secondary school, say at grade 9 onwards.  And her aspirations would lead her to aim at the very top universities, instead of just universities in Hong Kong.    Or for some, they discover the beauty of liberal arts colleges,   Then you have to go through the soul searching of "what the heck is Liberal Arts?", "Why go to Pomona College when she is also accepted to Princeton?"   And if she gets accepted to a very top schoool overseas, you then have to worry where to come up with the money to send her there, because she would be very disappointed if she cannot go there.

Oh, sorry, I am only painting the best scenario to you.  But think about this:  "The brave ones take the Road Less Travelled."

broadband

哈哈，其實我不是你們想像的保守傳統女人。反而是我老公會接受不了女兒的裙太短，他現在已整天說我買給囡囡的裙太短。

由於我很少熟朋友本人或子女讀過IS，所以可能有很多事情其他IS家長會做而我們便不懂，可能會令囡囡比其他同學遜色。這也是另一令我猶豫的原因。對於她現在的學習，我只會在她需要時出手相助，絕對不認為陪她一起讀書或整天補習對長遠的學習有用。有人笑我，連IS的學生都整天在操練公文或補習，你這個LS反而不做。

如果囡囡在IS的發展是你們說的那樣，我會很慶幸。但我最怕的是她只顧拍拖，食烟，落吧，不認真讀書，無所事事甚至吸毒。這些只是我的想像。不如大家說說中下的IS學生會是怎樣的。如她可做中上的，我已經很滿意。相信她不會是最差的，但做中下的，機會也很大。

Fatrara

broadband: "但我最怕的是她只顧拍拖，食烟，落吧，不認真讀書，無所事事甚至吸毒。這些只是我的想像。不如大家說說中下的IS學生會是怎樣的。如她可做中上的，我已經很滿意。相信她不會是最差的，但做中下的，機會也很大。"

Your worries are justified.  But then there is no gaurantee in life.  Can you gaurantee your daughter will not pick up vices growing up in local schools, even the most prestigious ones?   

Personal opinion: I think how well kids grow up depends more on how the parents "communicate" with them, than the school environment.  Often time, we parents talk "to" our children, rathen than taking "with" our children.

Anyway, all the best with your search for a suitable school.  Oh, by the way, when I was searching for a schools for my boys, even when they were little, I took them to visit all the schools.  Let them feel the environment themselves.

gobgo

回覆 shadeslayer 的帖子

Hi shadeslayer, great sharing. Do you mind telling which international school your child is in? Sounds like a great school with lots of committed teachers! Can't believe the school would arrange that many teachers to actually meet with each parent in a parent teacher conference!

木子兔媽媽

Broadband, read your past post title in last few years. You are a mum just like me, once wish to get the best for our kids, and then you are getting a bit lost when you are reminded by your teachers that
suggesting an uncomfortable way out for your child.

Don't think IS vs LS, think for your child. When a school giving comments to your child, think about what they really want to say. I think they might hint you that if your girl stay in their school or in a similar system, she might got stressed e.g. Felt bored with spoon feed system, got a fair impression marking because she is too active and outrageous in traditional eyes, her academic results might not be up to your expectation etc., and they know you are a high demanding mum. Sometimes, before we choose, it is better to think out of the box and ask 'what is really going on?'.

I got 2 kids with totally different characters. My girl is vivid and my son is quiet and shy. Both of I and my husband survived hk educational system. We hoped they can be world citizens with good English usage, but learning fluent Chinese too. Now my girl got both IS and LS K1 offer, all from Christian / Catholic schools with good conduct. (I agree that it is quite difficult to get IS offer if a child is not active, outspoken and English not up to native standard, and not getting interviewed at R1 or year 1). We are so proud of her. But this is just the beginning. From the past experience, she has been very favored by both IS type and LS type teachers and schools. So that makes our choice even more difficult. We have to think of our younger son as well, and what should we do?

We have to leave our mind open in last several months, seeking opinions from everyone we know having kids in LS and IS. What we do is to ask about a school's details, their parents and children characters, beliefs and abilities to see if our children can fit in. Yes, not 'the best', but 'fit in', because it is the kids' school, not solely ours. And also if we, as parents, can 'fit in' that school and with the other parents, because you would suffer if your are not in the same direction as them.
Now, we will go for an IS school first because we got so many good feedbacks from our friends of similar background, and the parents of coming classmates are so nice in Whatsapp chats.

Back to square 1, I do really suspect your girl's school is hinting they have difficulty to accommodate her needs. This is not a good thing to see. Go and search any other IS or LS schools to fit your child and you. Best wishes.

nadal

Thanks for all the insightful sharing from everyone.

I, too, am looking at the possibility to switch my kid from LS to IS. My initial plan is to switch after he completed his primary years.

Does that mean I will be targeting to enter at year 7 or does it differ from IS to IS depending on each school's system?

Realistically, how hard will it be to get a place for year 7, provided he can pass the assessment?

annie40

回覆 shadeslayer 的帖子

謝謝分享！希望能看得懂的家長跟你學習。
十年前萍水相逢的遇上一位前輩家長，苦口婆心的向我分享IB的教育理念和UWC movement ，展示美麗的宏圖，甚至坦白分享兩位兒子的優秀全才能力，當年女女只得六歲，作為一位很愛孩子，又十分為孩子前途擔心的媽媽，聽在耳，記在心，不斷反思，觀察，支持孩子的正確方向，沿途中不斷認識各方好友，相互支持我們所見所信。原來只要順勢而行，培養孩子的綜合能力，讀書學習是可以十分容易的。

懂得笑，愛幻想，有親和力，就是千金難換的瑰寶，這樣的孩子特質，要好好保護，家長焦急成績，放在心中，待綜合能力䡗固，讀書便像斬瓜切菜了。小女愈長大愈發像前輩的孩子，剛考得免費奬學金往歐洲求學，朋友約她在暑假往喜瑪拉雅山探險，未知她去否？聴聞要破世界紀錄云云！

十分感謝朋友十年前的一席話，前兩天聯絡道謝，朋友話她講得很多，卻發現願意聽，願意接受這樣思維的家長是稀有，別人看到她孩子的成就，以為她是虎媽而已。我有幸聽到了，相信了，放手譲女兒走向精彩之路。

Radiomama

原帖由 annie40 於 14-03-28 發表
回覆 shadeslayer 的帖子

謝謝分享！希望能看得懂的家長跟你學習。

Bravo!

shadeslayer

原帖由 annie40 於 14-03-28 發表
回覆 shadeslayer 的帖子

謝謝分享！希望能看得懂的家長跟你學習。

你的文章很好看，女兒的升學路，或多或少受你影響。

poonseelai

恭喜恭喜，向妳多多學習

aandp

原帖由 shadeslayer 於 14-03-28 發表
本帖最後由 shadeslayer 於 14-3-28 22:20 編輯

請問你女兒在那一間IS讀？it is so good!

zzzchow

很好！謝謝分享！

annie40

回覆 shadeslayer 的帖子

相信孩子有天然能力的父母不多，最近常常想可能我們努力開發孩子智能時，更應該大力做好「保育」工作，以免赤子之心被世俗強制污染，失掉那點「真」，「誠」，「勇」，路途便変得艱鉅多了。
國際學校是小社區，跟別的小社區，沒有兩樣，照樣是好壞參半，然這裡的「保育工作」，是學校和老師的首要求任務，如果家長能明白教育者的苦心經營，一起參與推動，把孩子的童真愛心延續，隨著日漸各方認知力的增進，他們才會相信自己沒有辦不到的事。當別人還在流漣的想；幹，還是不幹，蹉跎日子，他們靜靜的已做了數千小時。按做上一萬小時能成為專才的理論，相距不遠矣。這麼就是張張刀，看似張張利的道理。請明白要強調是看似，因為是夠用而已，跟真正刀利，還有極遠大距離。