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教育王國 討論區 教育講場 成績好的孩子都有八個好習慣
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成績好的孩子都有八個好習慣  

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23046
發表於 12-12-10 12:43 |顯示全部帖子
回復 eviepa 的帖子


看来您跟女儿的亲子关系, 简直是EK中的top 0.5%, 别的还重要吗?  

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23046
發表於 12-12-10 13:15 |顯示全部帖子
回復 eviepa 的帖子

3. 培養時,寧可採取穩陣的,而放棄有可能得到最大效益的選擇 — 舉個例子,女兒英文閱讀進行了一兩年後,我發現她未到leisure reading的水平,而我知道能夠到達這水平,英文就能自動變優秀,不需我的輔導。我有兩種選擇:
i) 繼續每天半小時至45分的閱讀。
ii) 用「震盪治療法」,加一、兩倍閱讀,務求一兩年內閱讀能力達到leisure reading的水平。
****       ****     ***
请恕我多口, 或许可考虑做以下:

1) 投其所好 - 想办法找出对口地书例如英文的 Art magazines, Art books 或是有趣的funny & facts, 如Guinness World Record, Riley Believe or not? 通常只要有动机, 较深的书也会追看下去的.

2) 志同道合 - 多交往一些喜爱看英文书的同辈朋友,

3) intensive training - 可否不用「震盪治療法」甘严重的形容词. 改成intensive training.  亦唔好当成是惨事. 你女儿甘听你话, 如过你又讲到好好玩, 女儿的投诉和反对不会太大的, 不出半年便见效果的, 使鬼要挨一两年才会leisure reading 水平.

Remarks: 语文能力高的孩子, 就算只是中文较优, 有需要学好英语或其他外语时, 进步也是神速的. 因为 语文能力同时反映其思维能力了. 掌握得好, 无往不胜!

點評

eviepa  謝謝  發表於 12-12-15 13:03

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32340
發表於 12-12-10 13:43 |顯示全部帖子

引用:回復+eviepa+的帖子 3.+培養時,寧可採取

原帖由 annie40 於 12-12-10 發表
回復 eviepa 的帖子

3. 培養時,寧可採取穩陣的,而放棄有可能得到最大效益的選擇 — 舉個例子,女兒英文 ...
Eviepa,

我有另一招我成日用,幾使得,睇下啱唔啱你用。

我會選一些好的書,自己看。看的時候不斷同女兒講故事點點點,有趣的,佢會追問,問問下叫佢自己睇。我的成功率很高。我以咁樣令孩子看多D不同類型,不同作者的書。

我久不久上 amazon and New York Times 找 best selling books. 或自己食飯時間去書局。



點評

eviepa  謝謝。但女兒長大了,較難用這招。希望她讀大學,較空閒時多看英文書。  發表於 12-12-15 13:06
annie40  去找书那part, 彼此是同道中人啊!  發表於 12-12-11 15:33
The more bizzare a thing is, the less mysterious it proves to be.

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19492
發表於 12-12-10 19:31 |顯示全部帖子

回覆:eviepa 的帖子

本帖最後由 ChiChiPaPa 於 12-12-10 19:34 編輯

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Multiple+goals+in+a+Hong+Kong+Chinese+educational+context%3A+an...-a0309068592

我一直有在網誌中分享升中過程和羅氏的種種。當然,女兒升中後,我的參與少了,能分享的也少了。

羅氏其中一樣特色是有goal setting exercises。唔知有冇聽過goal theory?在初中,主要係mastery goal、performance goal和social goal。在高中,就加上future goal。不過,我最近看到以上連結的文章。原來,mastery、performance和social goals都高時,academic achievement並不是最好。



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23046
發表於 12-12-11 16:47 |顯示全部帖子
回復 eviepa 的帖子

Eviepa,

看过关于低干預的個案分享, 谢谢!  所举的朋友是单一个案, 难免偏差了.  凭观察自己发现的百发百中的培养极为出众孩子方程式是:

1) 学习上是0 干預或非常低 干預
2) 家庭关系非常密切
3) 家教严谨, 良好纪律, 几乎是大力度干預
4) 父母尽力提供良好的学习环节和社交环境.

基本点是做好了 2), 3), 后, 一般孩子已是很能学习了(变成自动波), 是否还要干預,就按父母喜好和才干吧! 最后加上第4) 点, 便如虎添翼吧!

事实上父母教的学问是上一代的一套, 更不是独门秘方, 可以是非常老饼的,  学不学也没大关系! 与其听老豆讲, 不如用心听尽名家所讲呢!  佛家话空杯子才容易注入新颖事物啊!

我想你的朋友孩子成绩一般, 问题不在于低 干預或0 干預学习, 而是低估了2), 3) , 4), 的重要性.  没有真正地干預到底.

annie

p.s. 自家的2) & 3) 未算做得非常好, 暂时只能继续努力!!!  1) 就岩我呢D懒惰人, 4) 就已经提供左.
共勉之!

點評

eviepa  夠膽用這個方法,而且做到3與2沒有抵觸,則肯定是高人。子女成材機會甚大。  發表於 12-12-15 13:09


293
發表於 12-12-11 16:51 |顯示全部帖子
提示: 作者被禁止或刪除 內容自動屏蔽

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889
發表於 12-12-11 17:44 |顯示全部帖子
annie40,
方法看似可行。
十分有興趣知道可以如何做好3而又不影響2?

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23046
發表於 12-12-11 18:14 |顯示全部帖子
回復 nadal 的帖子

BB 是白纸一张, 规矩是由父母定的, 重要是父母是定得出而自己又做得到.  等孩子觉得原来自己的家教比其他别家的孩子严格, 都已经十五六岁了, 习惯成自然, 将来也会行差不多的一套给下一代的.

至于跟孩子的亲密关系, 记住抽空跟孩子努力玩, 偶尔吃一顿非常特别的晚餐,  偶尔干带孩子经历难忘的傻事. 不用不停地讨孩子欢心, 知道爸妈守护关怀便可, 开心的孩子特别听教, 玩完要读书跟爸妈玩完要返工是相同的, 要等待,要盼望的快乐,往往比顺手得来的无时无刻快乐, 更让人珍惜和享往的.

基本两者是没有冲突的, 朋友们做地好的, 孩子真的非常长进啊! 我懂得少, 但死学或copy 吓已经非常不错了!

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112603
發表於 12-12-11 19:45 |顯示全部帖子
MissChanCC 發表於 12-12-11 16:51
Too difficult
唔係,只是簡單複雜化!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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1524
發表於 12-12-11 20:11 |顯示全部帖子

唔覺意clicked咗入ChiChiPaPa嘅網誌。嘩,好正!

點評

mldaddy  係呀,之前都 bookmark 咗!  發表於 12-12-12 13:15
judy  真係好正!  發表於 12-12-12 09:00

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1776
發表於 12-12-12 13:13 |顯示全部帖子

RE: 成績好的孩子都有八個好習慣

eviepa 發表於 12-12-7 22:30
[size=15.333333015441895px]Dear all,

[size=15.333333015441895px]有一點要和大家討論一下:我是否介入女兒的學習太多?
無意中遇上http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2782391/,記起近日的討論。還未細看,純粹分享。

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13222
發表於 12-12-13 14:49 |顯示全部帖子
annie40 發表於 12-12-11 16:47
1) 学习上是0 干預或非常低 干預
2) 家庭关系非常密切
3) 家教严谨, 良好纪律, 几乎是大力度干預
4) 父母尽力提供良好的学习环节和社交环境
見到各位前輩坦率分享自己既親子經驗,很有得著。想當年,Eviepa和ChiChiPaPa都著力要給囡囡一個愉快學習經驗的,Eviepa給囡囡選了間"概念股"學校,ChiChi則就讀最熱門並以升中戰績靚麗見稱的私小。Eviepa的策略是做女兒的貼身家庭語文老師,而ChiChiPaPa則只是用滿有信心和期待的眼光,旁觀著ChiChi的成長。






老實說,Eviepa的做法不是太多家長有能力或餘力或耐性可以去效法的,ChiChiPaPa的無為而治心法也很高超,敢不敢跟是個問題,有沒有有利的升學條件,也是一個現實阻障。


多年過後,兩位公主發展看來都不錯,都是位列頂尖18%上;但ChiChiPaPa在學業上已放手很久了,Eviepa仍樂為囡師而不倦。

跟沒有最好的學校一樣,讀書方法似乎也沒有最好的(我囡就頗抗拒用很多老師推薦的腦圖方法溫書),親子教育自然也一樣。各人找到令自己最舒服的方法便好了
謝謝Annie40的分享,您所說的方法對我簡直是明燈:idea::早在小五,我已想偷懶學ChiChiPaPa的方法,後得Uncle提點,知這方法不是人人有資格用,因此不敢放得盡,到女兒上了中學,沒了即時危機,雙方都大解放。不過,我發現同校的家長很多還是很勤勞的,讓我不禁很慚愧……不過,女兒根本沒有留下機會和時間予我插手,我的干預,只在不斷問詢她什麼時候休息完結,放下閒書重回功課上,其餘都沒處用力您的方法,我只學得頭兩點,第三點因我自身其身不正,學習無望,不過,平日會盡力保持簡單的生活規律,也不斷在囡囡看閒書時提醒她時間的流逝;至於第四點,可作為努力的方向。謝謝您感救了我的困惑呵

點評

annie40  坦白从宽, 我的 2) & 3) 点也是一般的, 唯有相互鼓励, 大家不用心慌慌!  發表於 12-12-13 18:09
samuel89  我仲慚愧.....我教阿仔完全冇立場, 冇章法, 有時強逼, 有時利誘, 有時講理,  有時講尊卑,隨興而為,我估阿仔都幾難適應.......  發表於 12-12-13 15:32
Yanamami  唔洗慚愧. 我陪你.  發表於 12-12-13 15:06

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1524
發表於 12-12-14 02:30 |顯示全部帖子
本帖最後由 laorenjia 於 12-12-14 12:50 編輯

I always claim myself as a relaxed parent because I believe in schools. The primary and secondary school I went to made me what I am today. It's not just me saying that. I recently read a book written by a teacher who had experience in teaching at both state schools and public (i.e. private) schools in the UK. The boys in the latter school told her this, "...I’m not like this because I was born this way. I’m the way that I am because of my school.” While one cannot ignore the great advantages that privilege and family background may bring to the children, one should not underestimate the influence that schools and teachers have on children. We all see ANChan is doing a lot for his boy, but I guess his son is what he is now mostly because of DBS. I did not go to a school as prestigious as DBS but I can tell you I am still reliving the memories of my school days, my teachers and my mates every now and then. The A, A* whatever are important, but they are not the most important things parents should look for when they send their kids to a good school. This is also part of the reasons I don't like eviepa's approach. Parents are not the subsitute for the children's teachers.

點評

csy_ma  講得好借來一用  發表於 12-12-14 15:36
annie40  How come you voice my thought?  發表於 12-12-14 13:50

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112603
發表於 12-12-14 09:58 |顯示全部帖子
回復 laorenjia 的帖子

I want to clarify one of your assumption, I did more career exploration and exposure for my son , nothing to do with his school. More on his giftedness and refer to some longitudinal researches, kids with more exposures can help them to open their minds, better whole person development
Our case is also exceptional in my son's school and I guess the same in HK. Because I am supporting a relative talented kid.

Later on, after my son get into university with his consent, I will explain more of our experience.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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112603
發表於 12-12-14 10:03 |顯示全部帖子
Most of parents here have an wrong impression, gifted kids with less problem.  From my personal experience, gifted kids more or less the same like slow learners, ADHA and other kids with learning disabilities.

I shared a blog in EK recently about his development in primary stage.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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11251
發表於 12-12-14 10:12 |顯示全部帖子
I always claim myself as a relaxed parent because I believe in schools. The primary and secondary school I went to made me what I am today. It's not just me saying that. I recently read a book written by a teacher who had experience in teaching at both state schools and public (i.e. private) schools in the UK. The boys in the latter school told her this, "...I’m not like this because I was born this way. I’m the way that I am because of my school.” While one cannot ignore the great advantages that privilege and family background may bring to the children, one should not underestimate the influence that schools and teachers have on children. We all see ANChan is doing a lot for his boy, but I guess his son is what he is now mostly because of DBS. I did not go to a school as prestigious as DBS but I can tell you I am still reliving the memories of my school days, my teachers and my mates every now and then. The A, A* whatever are important, but they are not the most important things parents should look for when they send their kids to a good school. This is also part of the reasons I don't like eviepa's approach. Parents are the subsitute for the children's teachers.


同意!

父母和學校對孩子都有極大影響,在小学階段,父母影響可能大一點,一方面,功課上仍有餘力幫忙;另一方面,課餘時間之安排,要求子女密密麻麻地做練習,或是鼓勵看書,發展影響一世(甚至影響下一代)的體藝活動,在乎父母之眼光和適度安排。

中學階段影響最大的是老師和同輩。我常說40多歲的那一批中學教師是香港之精英(top 5%)。好幾年前,我到一大學讀一两年夜校,和阿大一個老師做同學,結果阿大個老師全班第2、3名畢業,而我常常向他請教(抄)功課。雖則很多父母也是大學畢業,但隔行如隔山,人家在那一行做咁多年,點都值得尊重。當然,教師教的是全班,功課之目標也是全班,未必適合個別孩子,叻嘅父母可能找到空間帮助孩子。

中學階段怎樣帮孩子呢?我認為,父母本身就是一本書、一扇窗。孩子大了,他們透過和父母交談,得知大千世界。所以父母也應盡量開拓眼界,讀多點書。

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4440
發表於 12-12-14 11:56 |顯示全部帖子
ANChan59 發表於 12-12-11 19:45
唔係,只是簡單複雜化!

甘請問用李小龍說的「以無法為有法」,「以無限為有限」將問題複雜簡單化之ok嗎?

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1524
發表於 12-12-14 12:51 |顯示全部帖子
My last sentence should have read:

Parents are not the subsitute for the children's teachers.

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694
發表於 12-12-18 15:26 |顯示全部帖子

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1062
發表於 12-12-19 14:22 |顯示全部帖子
回復 eviepa 的帖子

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