時光倒流回到初小時

motherotk

Not necessarily volunteer work at church or social service agencies. Sometimes these agencies are doing "superficial" services, or carrying out a concept that "you need to help", "we are going to help you".

I don't want my children to see himself or herself "higher" than those being "helped". Some churches or social service agencies can create this kind of "helping culture" unconsciously though their intention to help people is good. But still, that's not a real helping, no good to children.

My understanding of helping kids to know about the world in everyday life:

1) Respect your parents
2) Talk to elders in the bus or giving seats to them
3) Be polite to people different from your race, talk to them and to understand their food or culture
4) Be helpful to kids within same class, even those who are "naughty", who are "emotionally unstable", or whose academic standard different from them.
5) Respect teachers
6) talk to taxi drivers, asking questions
7) talk to bus drivers, asking them questions
8) go to the markets, see how people work there, talk to them, asking questions.
9) go to the public toilet, observe and talk to people working there
10) Be tolerate to people with different religion with you.
11) Be tolerate to people with different sexuality with you
12) Be tolerate to people with different political stands with you.
13) Respect people with different class and socio-economic background (Years ago, two universities in HK did not allow construction site workers to have lunch in their canteen, what kind of education they have for their students?

Personally I don't believe in tutoring centres with too strong "advertisements that students will be on the top of the world", schools with too strong "culture" that they are the only "elites" of the world, or religious organizations with too strong "teachings" .Basically I am not comfortable with strong "teachings" or "cultures" or "experts" or "authorities" I teach my kids to have doubts on how these strong "teachings", as I believe that they have unconsciously excluded someone else.

motherotk

Just have lunch with my co-worker today, she has two young people working together in her team:

1) Hong Kong boy graduated from famous local university
2) Hong Kong girl graduated from famous university in New York

Differences:
1) Boy: working within structure only, fear to explore new ideas, work within boundary, very boring and very narrow minded, though with good academic results, connecting with people only with practical reasons, very rigid to work within his own worldview, such as Chinese and religious and his own academic worldview

2) Girl: Very creative, comfortable to explore new ideas, connecting with people naturally, genuinely want to know and to understand people, though some of the areas or people are different from her experiences, she is able to connect them genuinely, not only because of "practical" reasons.

I am not saying that education in NY is absolutely better than in HK, but just a part of reflections.

ZZdaphne

motherotk 發表於 12-3-6 14:24
本帖最後由 motherotk 於 12-3-6 14:25 編輯

Not necessarily volunteer work at church or social service agencies. Sometimes these agencies are doing "superficial" services, or carrying out a concept that "you need to help", "we are going to help you".

I don't want my children to see himself or herself "higher" than those being "helped". Some of the agencies can create this kind of culture. That's not a real helping.

good points.
所以我不強調佢怎樣幫人, 反而係佢响過程中有什麼得著, 學會什麼, 觀察到什麼..........

motherotk

响過程中有什麼得著, 學會什麼, 觀察到什麼

That's really wonderful! Observation skills are really important!

ohnono

motherotk 發表於 12-3-6 14:35
Just have lunch with my co-worker today, she has two young people working together in her team:

1)  ...

某方面跟我的見解吻合。而家d女仔的確比男仔進取、大膽、工作上較有系統。但女仔的行事作風，有陣時我就唔係咁欣賞。

Charlotte_mom

motherotk 發表於 12-3-6 14:24
Not necessarily volunteer work at church or social service agencies. Sometimes these agencies are do ...

你知道上次我去完女女學校既親子活動日之後, 我得著係咩嗎?
1. 有個又盲又聾既弱智人士, 佢對手既接觸就係靠摸, 社工話你唔好介意佢鐘意摸人, 佢摸完我會笑得好開心, 我知道呢D就係最純真既信任
2. 有個盲既院友, 佢話自己好幸運, 因為父母無拋棄佢, 佢有屋企人錫, 於是佢要將福氣分俾其他無咁幸運既人, 佢去大陸做義工

其實陪左佢地一日, 我唔係真正幫到D咩, 應該話係佢幫到我上左心靈既一課, 生命教育就應該係咁樣

ZZdaphne

Charlotte_mom 發表於 12-3-6 14:13
我覺得呢樣野, 家長要帶頭做, 學校亦要做 (靠自己搵, 唔夠架, D福利機構其實未必樂意俾D人單次去服務, 因 ...

Charlotte_mom:


小學還可以,
中學嗎....我唔贊成太involve their school life...

myfanwy

家長們心目中的"一條龍"包括那些有附屬小學的中學嗎? 其實真正一氣龍的學校很少也很難入。

VV媽

ohnono 發表於 12-3-6 14:19
我見過一個今年讀中六的'書獃子',竟然話叫一個剛剛生完bb的媽媽,放低bb係屋企,
咁咪可以出來食飯.......>>> ...

但係學校又好喜歡這班讀書叻的人,有冇自理能力,有冇common sense, 唔關佢地事

gigivinda

Another news reflecting the education effectiveness:

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/te ... amp;art_id=16129486

motherotk

回復 Charlotte_mom 的帖子

that's wonderful..

motherotk

學校又好喜歡這班讀書叻的人,有冇自理能力,有冇common sense, 唔關佢地事

these kind of training - may have bring about "career success" in their life, but in certain time of their life, they may get lost if these are not their career goals, but their parents' goals or goals from the mainstream..

I knew few boys from famous boys' schools, when we share about the life goals, quite a few of them said: "earn money, buy the house", not really know...as most of their time spending in school to achieve sports talent and other special kinds of "talents" for their mums, or for their schools... I felt really sad...

where am I? who am I after I fulfill my parents' wish or earn my school great honour after all? All their secondary school life has been filled with other people's expectations....

besides sadness, I felt angry sometimes..

GIPW

Motherotk, good sharing

My child is still in the primary session but this topic give me some reflection and also point for me to think back if there is anything I could do better.  

Just to share some of my experience
I avoid to use the word "stupid" instead I will say tell me and I will help you to excel.  My child is more willing to share in this manner no matter how she score.  She scored bad she will ask me for help and we go thru the paper together, if she score good then she will get satisfaction from her hardwork.
Establish a bondage is from their childhood and with this I hope she would share with me again when she is in the secondary.

I would now like to encourage her to understand the world, to be more open-minded and more important to RESPECT OTHERS, starting with some of the advice above.  

ANChan59

回復 motherotk 的帖子

You mentioned the career and life goals of a few "famous boys school" boys. Along the line, I would like to expand a bit for the discussion:
1. Do you observe the same phenomenon for non-famous boys school and co-edu schools boys? I guess more or less the same.

2. A few is 1,2...... 10?

3. Girls are better than boys? Sharing and discussion, girl is better than boy.

4. How about "famous girls school" ? More focus or aggressive goals?

5. In most international schools have more training and exposure in life and career goals, I wish the OLE in local school can patch up. In another post, I described how to nurture my son in career exploration, I won't blame school if as parents  we did so little or none (I am not talking about you.)

6. Walk the walk, talk the talk. An excellent "water blower" in career goals not necessar a high-flyer. Any follow up of your observations?

7. In the new generation, they may need more training and education portfolio than us, our economies also changed rapidlyy, they will change careers are not uncommon nowadays. Even an adult like me, I face the same challenges somewhere sometime.

GIPW

gigivinda 發表於 12-3-6 18:52
Another news reflecting the education effectiveness:

http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/template/apple/a ...

Yup, read that piece of news - I actually think about how I should be treating this 拍拖 stuff when it comes to teenage.  I want my child to let me know rather than hiding from me

GIPW

嘆. 煩完學業又要煩思春反叛期

Charlotte_mom

GIPW 發表於 12-3-7 09:56
gigivinda 發表於 12-3-6 18:52
Another news reflecting the education effectiveness:

O係我女P4時, 我同社工傾個WORKSHOP俾高年班家長, 準備迎接子女青春期, 我同社工講: 我個FOCUS係"如何避免做一個討子女厭既家長"獲益良多呢! 同仔女溝通真係一門學問, 做父母要早D去準備"接招", 攪WOR左就有排煩了

csy_ma

motherotk 發表於 12-3-6 14:35
1) Hong Kong boy graduated from famous local university
2) Hong Kong girl graduated from famous university in New York

對，我本身是內地大學畢業，而老公是本地大學的，發現友儕中本地畢業生關心的東西都相對窄，聚會話題相對少而沉悶。我反倒跟外地畢業的同事聊得更歡，縱然有些是短期留學的，對自己的見識都有較高要求。
試過介紹兩位分別來自香港和廣州的居德朋友予去書展並順道遊德的香港朋友認識，兩位都善良和樂於助人，但遊德朋友回港後，就震撼於內地八十後的世界觀、環保意識較她接觸的很多本地朋友要廣（她在雜誌編文化版，接觸的已屬較"另類"一群），進而頗擔心下一代的競爭力……

她說，自己揀逛法蘭克福書展來度假，在同期同學中已被視作另類（但她修的是人文學科），但居德廣州朋友的旅遊地卻是黎巴嫩、伊拉克、西班牙等，縱是港人熱衷的泰國，觀照角度也全然不一……轉個頭回到香港，我那群於地區名校就讀的中五學生，有精力關心的，不過是能否如期在考試前趕起選修課作業，而不致累病，能有什麼餘暇去拓寬眼界？？

DD仔

其实也不用太神化浸过咸水的学生，我也见过不少，几年都是跟香港同学会的人一起，看的都是香港节目，英文可能都“顺畅“，但不见得很好。当然，能用心利用海外升学机会，扩阔视野的同学，都是人上人了。真的，龙或虫，都在乎个人，我也碰过一些本地毕业的学生，英文讲写都非常好，言辞逻辑到位，一点不逊色。

ohnono

是否已離題了。不明這關「時光倒流回到初小時」有甚麼關係，還要在升中版？
這樣的陳述個人對兩地教育以至學生在社會上的表現和見解不是在教育講場版討論更佳嗎？樓主是想讓各家長在升中後作一個回顧。「悟以往之不諫，知來者之可追」，正正就是樓主的目的！