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標題: 五歲女兒的心聲 [打印本頁]

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-27 15:34 標題: 五歲女兒的心聲

本帖最後由 iantsang 於 12-5-10 11:38 編輯

親愛的爸爸媽媽，

謝謝您們多年來為我的選校籌謀，還記得爸爸不止一次問我，是否相信你去為我決定。爸爸我想跟你説，我是真心的相信你為我的選擇，因為在我心中，你是我最信任的人。

爸爸媽媽，我很清楚您們一早為我確定了小學的路，我亦很支持這個決定，因為我也有份參與這個決定。所以我自從一年前開始，已很努力嘗試改變自己的生活習慣，希望能夠在上小學前適應不同的上課時間。我一直都不敢跟爸媽您們說，因為我害怕您們會失望，但是已經一年了，我不見得可以早一點睡、也不能少睡一點。我很害怕到上小學時，會睡得不夠，沒精神上課。

另外稚氣的妹妹，也是我們一家人很擔心的事。幸好有天父的眷顧讓我們今年可以一起上學，希望妹妹在這一年能有所進歩，不然的話，我很擔心妹妹將來會找不到適合的小學。爸爸媽媽，您們能了解我的疑慮嗎？

作為一個剛滿五歲的我，其實那會想到能跟您們一起討論自己的選校？雖然在我兩歲半時，您們亦曾經徵詢過我的意願來選幼稚園，但是當年大家的想法一致，所以我的意見並不顯得那麽重要。

可是，選小學的決定比幼稚園更重要，所以我一直埋藏着自己的憂慮，因我明白要對自己的選擇負責任，所以我亦盡力準備和努力配合。可是，我想這次我真的辦不到。

感恩的是爸爸媽媽您們在暑假完結前一天，意想不到的跟我一起談談我對小學選擇的想法。感謝您們不會像一般父母那様，只當我是一個小孩般看待，而只用自己的主意去決定我的將來。讓我可以盡情的跟您們分享自己的看法和喜好，您們更用心的聆聽和協助我去學懂怎樣去表達自己的思想。謝謝您們給我這一個機會，去分享我的憂慮，好讓我抒解這一年來的困擾。

爸爸媽媽，多謝您們最後選擇去尊重我的意見，更重要的是，您們一同支持我這小小無私和有點幼稚的想法，好讓我去尋找和等待一所直正適合我和妹妹的學校。就如我對您們說，對於我們最後的決定，我已做好心理準備去接受這漫長的等待，就算最後無法達成這個願望，我也願意接受天父的安排。

因為有您們和妹妹在我身邊，一切就已經足夠了！

您們的女兒上

作者: crystal媽咪 時間: 11-9-27 16:36

吓 !!!! 你囡囡係講出黎定寫出黎, 好成熟同好叻女喎 !!!!!!

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-27 16:51

原帖由 crystal媽咪 於 11-9-27 16:36 發表
吓 !!!! 你囡囡係講出黎定寫出黎, 好成熟同好叻女喎 !!!!!!

of course she is only able to express these in words and I have helped to put them together.

I would not be glad if she can write this at this age.

作者: janettsui 時間: 11-9-27 18:31

你真係一個好父親! 冇幾多人會詢問女兒既意見, 尊重女兒既意願, 而放棄一早已預備好大人認定光明既前路. 佩服佩服!!

以我所知, 你囡囡係讀緊聖心, 我有d好奇, 佢唔想升聖心小學? 可以知道點解嘛?

[ 本帖最後由 janettsui 於 11-9-27 18:37 編輯 ]

作者: Christi 時間: 11-9-27 23:19

thanks.由你囡囡的說話中學多一樣野.

ps/ 囡囡好成熟啊!

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-27 23:36 標題: 回復 4# janettsui 的帖子

Actually for what I have done is no special. Basically for how serious she expressed her ideas (I didn't disclose them in such detail), I believe any parents would have to respect that.

Concerning her choice, I guess I owe many parents here an answer. Will do it real soon.

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-27 23:38

原帖由 Christi 於 11-9-27 23:19 發表
thanks.由你囡囡的說話中學多一樣野.

ps/ 囡囡好成熟啊!

Hi Christi,

I am interested to know what you have learned!

The purpose of this post, is to give everyone of us a chance of self-reflection. There will be more such sharing later in my own blog.

作者: Christi 時間: 11-9-28 00:00 標題: 回復 7# iantsang 的帖子

好簡單,就是明白了5歲孩子也會有他們的選校憂慮. 本來心想,5歲孩子最多會發表[喜歡]VS[不喜歡],但談到他們的擔心,其實已是more than喜不喜歡了.可能我囡囡仍小,我沒想過,原來5歲已有這種思維.

早前在BK看過一個家長(孩子已讀中學)說過,孩子所走的路,一直都是他自己的選擇. 這話,我一直記住.

我有時會想,小朋友真的懂得選擇嗎? 然後我又會想,當我這樣質疑的時候,可能是(1)我不了解小朋友的發展,不明白小朋友真的已能作出選擇了;或(2)我仍放不下父母的[架子],話聽他們意見其實只是假諮詢,像港府在某些事的做法一樣.

well,我還須多多向小朋友學習學習...

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-28 00:22 標題: 回復 8# Christi 的帖子

Hi Christi,

Honestly, it was a valuable learning experience for my wife and I.  At that moment, we were actually at a cross-road and couldn't figure out what schools are really suitable for us.  And so, I decided to turn to my daughter and tried to see if she can give us some hints.  Turned out, we were shocked by how detail her thinking is and to a point, amazed by her integrity through this conversation.

This is originally just a private and family matter which happened 4 weeks ago already.  The reason why I decided to share it is because, when I discuss with other parents and realize we all share this common thinking that  they couldn't express their ideas so clear and precise.  As I shared with a few parents, and learn that they also had such special encounter with their children.  So this is why I think may be it is time to awaken the mind of us as parents.  That we should never look down on our own children.

I do hope this is something useful for everyone.  But one thing to remember, the development of each children are different.

作者: janettsui 時間: 11-9-28 01:26 標題: 回復 6# iantsang 的帖子

你女兒肯同你講佢既想法, 因為佢知道你真係會聽, 會尊重. 如果唔係, 佢根本唔會同你講. Only係尼一點, 已經知道你係一個好爸爸.

你囡囡既心聲, 提醒左我要好好聆聽小朋友既意見. 祝你囡囡能夠入到一間適合佢既小學!

作者: anteater 時間: 11-9-28 07:30

咁現在會跟她選擇什麼小學呢?

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-28 08:27

原帖由 janettsui 於 11-9-28 01:26 發表
你女兒肯同你講佢既想法, 因為佢知道你真係會聽, 會尊重. 如果唔係, 佢根本唔會同你講. Only係尼一點, 已經知道你係一個好爸爸.

你囡囡既心聲, 提醒左我要好好聆聽小朋友既意見. 祝你囡囡能夠入到一間適合佢既小學! ...

Thanks for the good wishes!

I would say there is a strong trust built between us. Whether I am indeed a good father, I would hope I could do better.

Ian

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-28 08:32

原帖由 anteater 於 11-9-28 07:30 發表
咁現在會跟她選擇什麼小學呢?

Hi anteater,

The choice is no longer in our hands now!

Basically she has expressed her preference on gov't aided schools. So, we have applied for DP which probably have tiny little chance. We will let God lead our way through lucky draw.

We may choose to move late this year if we failed all three private schools applied (sorry, one less than the four I told the reporter in my magazine interview, for those who still remember it). And sorry, we didn't apply to any of those top schools as my daughter has a very clear idea what sort of schools she prefers.

Ian

[ 本帖最後由 iantsang 於 11-9-28 08:33 編輯 ]

作者: lyhv 時間: 11-9-28 12:39

好登你高興有個咁乖同咁明白事理嘅女! Cong & Best Wishes to her!

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-28 13:36

原帖由 lyhv 於 11-9-28 12:39 發表
好登你高興有個咁乖同咁明白事理嘅女! Cong & Best Wishes to her!

We are thankful for that too.

Thank you very much!

作者: dienalitie 時間: 11-9-28 15:49

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作者: IRK 時間: 11-9-28 17:31

Dear Ian,

Very touching, thanks for your kind sharing.

Even though I haven't posted too much message in BK (due to a bad experience which make me learnt to keep slience here), I have read your posts over 1 year. As you've said, God will guide your family. All children are His treasure and we are only His appointed "treasure keepers". (I always keep this in my mind to warm myself) He will pave the way of your girls. This is what I have experienced in last year N1 hunting.

BTW, god bless and hope to hear your good news soon.

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-28 23:12

原帖由 dienalitie 於 11-9-28 15:49 發表
咁細個就咁明白事理，叻女
多謝你囡囡為我上左一課

Thanks for the compliment to my daughter. She is just a regular child.

Hope you do enjoy this sharing.

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-28 23:15 標題: 回復 17# IRK 的帖子

Interesting, this is something I just heard from my Catechism class yesterday! Actually I didn't relate to this during the class but seems everything just tie together.

Thank you but again, it will be quite a while before we will have good news.

btw, it is difficult to discuss here but we should always find a way to face our fear. If my 5 yrs old daughter can do that, so can you! Hope to hear from you more often! God bless.

[ 本帖最後由 iantsang 於 11-9-28 23:16 編輯 ]

作者: 小K 時間: 11-9-28 23:17

本帖最後由小K 於 14-10-30 17:12 編輯

Thanks

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-29 08:53

原帖由小K 於 11-9-28 23:17 發表
Hello Ian, just read through all your paragraphs and glad to hear that your daughter already grow up! She's really very mature thinking compare with those kids in the same age group. But one thing you ...

Thank you!

Sure I didn't mention it here but I always thank the kindergarten to bring the best of education to my daughter and myself.  Actually I did say this in another recent thread to share this.  One of the key thing that we have learned through these years, is to love the people around us.  It is on another level from what we usually care about just the kids are receiving the love and care, but they learn to love each others.  I think this is the most important thing on earth.

I totally appreciate the opportunity that we can be part of this kindergarten and would love to continue in this school system.  It's just that we have slightly different priority in life so my daughter would feel it is more important to help her sister, than to achieve better academic result.  I have asked her questions on this topic specifically to assure she fully understand what she will be expecting.

I agree with your point concerning top schools.  It is actually part of the conversation that I didn't disclose and it has covered her own concern in such matters.  And she has expressed clearly what she is comfortable on handling at this stage.  We accepted her reasoning and so we have moved on to consider schools that fit her.

Ian

作者: Christi 時間: 11-9-29 23:41 標題: 回復 13# iantsang 的帖子

Well, Ian,

你話:We may choose to move late this year if we failed all three private schools applied.

你是不是指你會為了大抽獎而搬屋(如心儀私小不收的話)?我有冇理解錯了呢?因為我係想問吓當你知道3間私小的結果之後,再去搬屋,流程上可來得及?(我是指來得及將新地址報給教育局嗎?)

因為我都有同一煩惱,我有一間心儀私小,亦不想搬屋.但我想來想去,無可能待得悉心儀私小肥佬後,才搬屋啊...

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-30 00:01

原帖由 Christi 於 11-9-29 23:41 發表
Well, Ian,

你話:We may choose to move late this year if we failed all three private schools applied.

你是不是指你會為了大抽獎而搬屋(如心儀私小不收的話)?我有冇理解錯了呢?因為我係想問吓當你知道3間私小 ...

Hi Christi,

The timing is okay, consider the three that we applied will have results announced by end of Nov. Of course, as a parent reminded me, probably they won't offer us the seats after reading my posts here!

I guess we will see how the situation will be later this year to decide. But if move in December, it can still meet the time to submit the lucky draw application for the new net.

Ian

作者: Christi 時間: 11-9-30 00:39 標題: 回復 23# iantsang 的帖子

thanks.Ian.

正如一位BK家長所說,有時機關算盡,結果卻出人意表.所以,又何須擔心'probably they won't offer us the seats after reading my posts here!'

努力之後,就將餘下的交給神.互勉. 並祝你囡囡在未來的小學能開心快樂學習成長,好奇心求知慾長學長有.

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-9-30 00:55

原帖由 Christi 於 11-9-30 00:39 發表
...好奇心求知慾長學長有

Thanks!

p.s. btw, we are not worried.

[ 本帖最後由 iantsang 於 11-9-30 00:56 編輯 ]

作者: Mat_Dad 時間: 11-9-30 09:35

主佑

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-10-2 22:19 標題: 回復 26# Mat_Dad 的帖子

Thank you very much!

作者: samsheep 時間: 11-10-3 13:04 標題: very thoughtful

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作者: iantsang 時間: 11-10-3 14:06

原帖由 samsheep 於 11-10-3 13:04 發表
Hi Ian, this is indeed very thoughtful of you sharing with us.
We as parents tend to think we understand our little one well enough to label them and put them to a different situations... types of sch ...

Thanks for your sharing.

Actually this is a teaching method that I adopt since my daughter was born. Communication skill is not something that you can quickly develop over short period of time. So, one important factor on parents are we have to be patience. Through the conversation, we need to help to guide them through the development of their ability to express ideas and concepts.

作者: maozit 時間: 11-10-11 13:51

Hi! Ian,

I like to read your posts & thanks for your valuable sharing in the past.

Regards what your elder daughter said, I have some thoughts, or you may already deal with, I guess:

1. It seems she cares so much about her younger sister, so her younger sister is also one of the key factors for her in choosing a primary school. If so, she has high pressure that she must be the light for her younger sister, leading her to the bright future. In fact, everyone is special & unique, her younger sister may have her own thought in her education path. She may like SHCS, & stays there, who knows?
Just pick up any primary school she prefers, based on her personality, ability & interests, etc., that's all!

2. She couldn't change her sleeping habbit in coping with school time.... seems not the reason for choosing primary school wor.... It is a general practice that kid needs to sleep early & wake up early to school. btw, u already consider to move closer to her shcool, so sleeping time in fact not a big issue at all.

Anyway, your decision has already made, I guess u may have analyse what she concerns & how u could deal with them with her together. blessings your family!

作者: iantsang 時間: 11-10-11 17:34 標題: 回復 30# maozit 的帖子

Thanks very much for the suggestions!

Frankly, it is impossible to share everything to the public so I have only managed to tell part of the story. Concerning what you have mentioned, those have been well covered during the discussion but thank you for your kind advices anyway!

作者: CKBCHU 時間: 12-1-12 12:04

Do you have second part?

作者: iantsang 時間: 12-1-12 14:49

回復 CKBCHU 的帖子

Oh you are digging out my old posts!

I wanna write a second part and there indeed is a second part as a sequel to this. unfortunately no time to do so yet.

But you can find the ending of this story here:

媲美坐「過山車」的一星期

歡迎光臨教育王國 (/)