教育王國
標題: 發現自己心理唔平衡 [打印本頁]
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-25 22:58 標題: 發現自己心理唔平衡
小朋友已上小學，但間中亦會走黎8下，當見到呢度d家長或身邊朋友為小朋友入好學校而鋪路，心裡面都有啲戚戚然...
我小朋友算smart，讀得下書，但因為種種原因，最後都係揀左一間過氣地區津校band 1，成績keep住三甲。爛船仲有三斤釘，但真係得三斤，呢間學校升band 1中學有60%，但相對大家所講既英小呀，名校呀，一條龍呀，升中靚網呀，就差左一大截....
個心1516，有時想同佢轉校，但怕一轉，只會得不償失，而家間學校，個仔讀得好開心，成績又好，校風都ok.....如果唔使同人比較的話，其實一切都唔錯。但人在江湖，好快又煩升中，到時你唔同人比，人地都會擺你上枱比一番...
轉校，名氣較好既，我怕自己高攀不來，仲辛苦左小朋友，因為我buy愉快學習，而且我無錢offer私人補習/外藉老師比佢，只係靠佢自己上堂吸收，呢種學習方法，地區band 1還可以，但應付唔到當今一眾名校。如果只係轉d六斤釘既學校，又覺得一動不如一靜。
我唔知自己想點...只係想上黎舒發一下。最近又有朋友為入名校鋪左條靚路，我又受刺激，真係人比人，比死人。教我如何平衡心理﹖如何是好﹖
[ 本帖最後由 aryee 於 10-5-25 23:03 編輯 ]
作者: 冰紫嫣 時間: 10-5-25 23:15
你的心情我真的深深感受, 覆雜....
作者: Yakult1124 時間: 10-5-26 01:07
其實心理不平衡又可止你一個, 我現在亦處於同一處境. 獨立思考好緊要, 亦係你小朋友長大後需要你教他!!!
作者: 林嬌嬌 時間: 10-5-26 08:17
在本來學校考三甲之內，已經security band 1 啦，何需轉校？如轉校，只考慮有中學直入的，不過可直上中學的都不是免費津中津小。
樓主根本無須自尋煩惱。無論是自行階段，或統一階段，留在原校考三甲之內，就是最有利升中
作者: DD仔 時間: 10-5-26 09:53
Band 1% > 60%? it is already considered very good. Famous schools like TSL only has 55% Band 1. Your "過氣地區津校band 1" has better secondary school places allocation performance than some other 当红schools. Then why do you feel bad about it?
作者: Geni 時間: 10-5-26 10:04
我諗好多小朋友讀得書o既父母都會好似你咁諗, 其實如果keep住band1成績, 又考頭3名, 到升中o既時候大可跨區考名校, 因為到時學校真係睇實力收生. 我有個親戚, 個女成績好, 最後跨區入到一間好好o既英中. 所以我覺得唔需要依家就轉校, 一來冇端端中途插入唔知佢適唔適應, 二來小朋友o既自信心好重要, 轉o左校如果由原本頭3變o左頭10, 可能佢會以為自己差o左. 無謂啦! 係咪!
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-26 10:49
原帖由 DD仔 於 10-5-26 09:53 發表 
Then why do you feel bad about it?
我唔係覺得佢唔好，係同人比完之後就覺得佢唔夠好lor，所以我話自己心理唔平衡，活在人海，不斷比身邊唔同人既名校心態衝擊，自己都想自己理智d，至弊自己都一時一樣。
sorry，我寫錯左，係>60%入英中，唔係band 1，somehow英中唔等如band 1，right? tsl係50%，又估唔到wor，點解會咁低﹖
[ 本帖最後由 aryee 於 10-5-26 11:05 編輯 ]
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-26 10:58
thanks to all mamas!
多謝你地明亮既目光，有時人在江湖，不自覺同人比較，比完之後又自尋煩惱，難免有d迷失。我會盡量克制自己，叫自己理智d，利用呢幾年時間好好幫小朋友充實自己，將來努力考間更高一線既學校！大家努力！特別係同我一樣感受既mani，我諗大家都明白個心條蟲成日攪攪陣，祝我地又英明又理智！
作者: DD仔 時間: 10-5-26 11:00
ic... take Net 91 as an example. LMC City One has Band1 % >60%, 英中% > 70%, it is now one of the top 3 most popular subsidized schools (other 2: LMC STW and Pooi Kei) in the net. 梁钜缪is a second tier school. it's 英中% = 57%, but is already being "ignored" by most of the parents in Shatin. Now I understand your concern...
原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-26 10:49 發表
sorry，我寫錯左，係>60%入英中，唔係band 1，somehow英中唔等如band 1，right? tsl係50%，又估唔到wor，點解會咁低﹖
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-26 11:09
原帖由 DD仔 於 10-5-26 11:00 發表
ic... take Net 91 as an example. LMC City One has Band1 % >60%, 英中% > 70%, it is now one of the top 3 most popular subsidized schools (other 2: LMC STW and Pooi Kei) in the net. 梁钜缪is a second t ...
exactly! i'm the parent of 梁钜缪 but in other net. always being compared with LMC.
作者: davidmimi 時間: 10-5-26 11:10
點計都唔可以轉校，我覺得唯一影響到小朋友讀書的成績，不要介意講句--係你的情緒，父母緊張還緊張，心急還心急，但一定要在小朋友面前裝成若無其事的。
作者: DD仔 時間: 10-5-26 11:20
but if you can stay in the top 3 of the class at 梁钜缪,I'm sure you can go to very good school too, though may not be schools like 皇仁 or LS.
原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-26 11:09 發表
exactly! i'm the parent of 梁钜缪 but in other net. always being compared with LMC.
作者: DD仔 時間: 10-5-26 11:23
TSL's band 1 = around 50% or 55%? well, not even close to LMC City One, but is already quite good. My guess is that their Chinese level pulls down the overall result at the S1 entrance exam.
原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-26 10:49 發表
我唔係覺得佢唔好，係同人比完之後就覺得佢唔夠好lor，所以我話自己心理唔平衡，活在人海，不斷比身邊唔同人既名校心態衝擊，自己都想自己理智d，至弊自己都一時一樣。
sorry，我寫錯左，係>60%入英中，唔係band 1，somehow英中唔等如 ...
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-26 11:32
原帖由 davidmimi 於 10-5-26 11:10 發表
點計都唔可以轉校，我覺得唯一影響到小朋友讀書的成績，不要介意講句--係你的情緒，父母緊張還緊張，心急還心急，但一定要在小朋友面前裝成若無其事的。 ...
深明此道，會收得好好。始終小朋友響開心愉快環境下自動自覺學習係我首要既基本要求。
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-26 11:38
原帖由 DD仔 於 10-5-26 11:20 發表
but if you can stay in the top 3 of the class at 梁钜缪,I'm sure you can go to very good school too, though may not be schools like 皇仁 or LS.
如果我話你聽我都幾想入皇仁，你係咪覺得我痴線，大想頭。曾幾何時，我都得到一個offer係皇仁既附屬津小，但最終放棄左(跟住受千夫所指)，因為路途太遙遠，小朋友舟居勞頓，唔能夠好好enjoy課餘時間休息同學習，我過唔到自己果關。我最後揀左原區安置，但我同自己講，放棄左個offer，用利用呢六年舟居勞頓省下來既時間好好充實自己，將來再去皇仁考一考。
作者: DD仔 時間: 10-5-26 11:42
I'm sure you are a good mother loving your son very much.
QC won't just look at the academic result. If you son manages to get some good results on some significant EC activities, he will still have a good chance. don't give up!
原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-26 11:38 發表
如果我話你聽我都幾想入皇仁，你係咪覺得我痴線，大想頭。曾幾何時，我都得到一個offer係皇仁既附屬津小，但最終放棄左(跟住受千夫所指)，因為路途太遙遠，小朋友舟居勞頓，唔能夠好好enjoy課餘時間休息同學習，我過唔到自己果關。 ...
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-26 12:03
原帖由 DD仔 於 10-5-26 11:42 發表
I'm sure you are a good mother loving your son very much.
QC won't just look at the academic result. If you son manages to get some good results on some significant EC activities, he will still hav ...
THANKS will try our best.
作者: im_csb 時間: 10-5-26 23:07 標題: 回覆 7# aryee 的文章
老實說, 自己都係咁, 明明阿仔表現都令我滿意, 但看到其他人, 就想阿仔係唔係仲可以好d
:evil:
作者: childrenfirst 時間: 10-5-26 23:20
aryee我覺得你唔係心理唔平衡，其實你好肯面對自己的掙扎，好有awareness。唔係咁多人肯認。現今HK考小學氣氛令人好stress，唯有同多D人舒發下，相信好多mummy也有相同感受。
作者: kschow 時間: 10-5-27 11:54
aryee,
睇完你的發表, 很感動, 因為俾我感受到你的確係一個偉大的媽媽, 真真正正係為小朋友着想, 並不是以滿足一己私慾及虛榮
小朋友的自信心真係很難培養到, 假若當時入到名小學, 但人上有人, 小朋友在某方便比了下去, 未必有這樣的鬥心争取到現時的成績及得到你所要求目標 - 愉快學習
有時我們真係要為小朋友長遠的發展着想, 並不是單靠十多年的學業生涯去判斷他日後成功與否
作者: bobo1314 時間: 10-5-27 12:38
很同意以上大家的意見！但我想講一句，名校有些老師很不負責任！樓主想小朋友讀QC,我姨甥仔正是QC生，由屋村小學，到小四跨區讀九龍小學，到跨區讀QC中一...由小學top1-3,到QC 考中上，我見到好多drawbacks....小朋友自信心大跌！無曬方向，同姨甥仔溫習，都發覺名校都有唔少無曬熱誠的老師。。。。
我個小朋友仲細，k1,但未來我都會同大家一樣，係happy learning vs " branded-school" learning掙扎！
作者: milka 時間: 10-5-27 14:09 標題: 回覆 7# aryee 的文章
Hi aryee,
我忍唔住入嚟, 想比你掌聲
!
你好清醒亦好顧慮孩子 , 其實做到咁已好難得!:loveliness:
二星期內分別聽了二個有关話題的二個個案:
1) 朋友親友的兒子(沒有問多大呢..):-
孩子在地區小學名列前矛 (第一名, 不知全级/班), 母親替小孩轉到跨區名校, 之後考最尾. 小孩變得很反叛, 在學業+操行都差的情况下,"被邀" 轉往別的學校.
轉往的是一間個人覺得不是特別"優秀"的學校, 但聽说因操行的問题, 再次"被邀" 轉往別的學校.
個人覺得這個孩子很可憐!
2) 在職同事個案:
同事在北角地區小學成績優異,他媽媽為他報考港島名校成功, 在那校裹他仍然成績優異, 之後畢業於HKU 及再升學英国.
我不知該说些什麼....但本人丈夫覺得個案1反映母親高估小孩能力, 低估學校程度.....但我連小囡的能力有多少及將入讀的小學程度有多高也未清楚....
我想也不能怪個案1的媽妈.......沒有一個不为孩子好的母親吧? 但我會量力而为!
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-27 14:18
childrenfirst, kschow, DD仔,
好多謝你地既鼓勵，令我覺得自己方向正確，將來無論入左咩學校都好，只要繼續努力，我相信都一樣咁光彩。希望我唔好再成日迷失，做一個理智既媽媽。
bobo1314，叫你姨甥仔唔好放棄，自強不息，努力呀！
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-27 14:31
原帖由 milka 於 10-5-27 14:09 發表
Hi aryee,
我忍唔住入嚟, 想比你掌聲 !
你好清醒亦好顧慮孩子 , 其實做到咁已好難得!:loveliness:
二星期內分別聽了二個有关話題的二個個案:
1) 朋友親友的兒子(沒有問多大呢..):-
孩子在地區 ...
首先多謝你既掌聲，其實我無咩值得讚，因為我都有一份虛榮，想小朋友成績好，入名校，呢份虛榮感得閒無事就黎騷擾我，攪到個心1516，好彩暫時仲係以理智取勝，上黎聽埋大家講，我就更加安於現狀，知道自己唔應該跟住人後尾追。我地會努力keep住而家既成績，同時亦將省下來既時間心力好好裝備自己，將來考到心儀學校就好，考唔到都練得一身好武功，讀其他學校相信都會有幫助。
你既case 1正正係我既顧慮，我怕成績大落後之餘，連刻意經營為小朋友建立既學習興趣同志氣都無埋，到時咩名校都假。但我都認為，不能怪case 1既媽媽，佢都估唔到會咁，有時d野，都係好難估計。希望佢小朋友快d重拾返讀書既意志，做個積極快樂既小朋友。
[ 本帖最後由 aryee 於 10-5-27 14:35 編輯 ]
作者: 中山人 時間: 10-5-28 00:52
我小時是讀一間學術程度深嚴的天主教小學，記憶中老師很嚴厲，我的成績中下，因此沒有自信，性格很文靜內向，不喜愛上學讀書，學校亦沒有課外活動供同學參與。到了小四那年，我全家搬進荃灣區新屋邨，在屋邨樓下新校讀小四，可能新校程度淺又多課外活動，我年年考第二，自此性格突然變得開朗活潑好動，還很有自信鬥志，時常參與學校上台表演，又受同學歡迎，投票選我做班長，中學當然被派去地區Band one中學，此中學無論校風及公開試成績都比名校不相伯仲。現在我是專業人士，回想起如果我仍然在第一間小學就讀，我肯定不會派去Band one中學，而且亦沒有現在的成就！
[ 本帖最後由 中山人 於 10-5-28 01:02 編輯 ]
作者: talent2000 時間: 10-5-28 02:11
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作者: Longan 時間: 10-5-28 10:51
No parents want to make wrong decisions for their kids. Understandable that aryee has such struggle as same for me.
In my opinion, school culture and standard of parents are equally important. My kid's govt school has good academic results, but 禮貌&品德很弱 even for being a class monitor. We found that the teachers have been trying their efforts in teaching students 品德, but the result is far from satisfactory because the families cannot 配合. My son has been hit by classmates, and schoolmates on school bus for 5 times during 9 months. That is also why I hope to source for better schools, not because 虛榮 but for my son's long term values and development, and safety. My son is relatively shy and not the targeted students of popular schools. His language abiliies are outstanding but still difficult to get a seat from these schools because of his characters. As parents, 試問怎樣心理可以平衡, as I feel so helpless!
原帖由 kschow 於 10-5-27 11:54 發表
aryee,
睇完你的發表, 很感動, 因為俾我感受到你的確係一個偉大的媽媽, 真真正正係為小朋友着想, 並不是以滿足一己私慾及虛榮
小朋友的自信心真係很難培養到, 假若當時入到名小學, 但人上有人, 小朋友在某方便比了 ...
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-28 13:04
原帖由 中山人 於 10-5-28 00:52 發表
我小時是讀一間學術程度深嚴的天主教小學，記憶中老師很嚴厲，我的成績中下，因此沒有自信，性格很文靜內向，不喜愛上學讀書，學校亦沒有課外活動供同學參與。到了小四那年，我全家搬進荃灣區新屋邨，在屋邨樓下新校讀小四，可能新校程 ...
thanks for sharing. you're a good example.
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-28 13:09
原帖由 Longan 於 10-5-28 10:51 發表
No parents want to make wrong decisions for their kids. Understandable that aryee has such struggle as same for me.
In my opinion, school culture and standard of parents are equally important. My ki ...
咁你而家係咪四處叩門﹖希望你快d搵到適合既學校。品德既要求絶對不能下於成績，呢樣野，比成績影響仲要深遠。
作者: sa_sallychan 時間: 10-5-28 15:07
其實好多父母都好像你,因為我都係其中一個呀
作者: talent2000 時間: 10-5-29 13:29
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作者: Longan 時間: 10-5-29 15:50
Thanks to all for the sharing n advice.
Frankly speaking, my character is strong esp when taking care of issues of my kid, n I'm not that kind of mother that just sit there n do nothing, and blame the whole world. I had talked to teachers, principal, and to the parents of those kids myself in order to tactfully handle the issues without causing too much harm also to these kids, because they are still small. However, I can no way teach these kids in 品德 esp in front of their parents. It is easy to understand that 良好品德 always starts fm home. Eg, if parents speak strong language, no matter how the school puts effort, it is difficult to prevent the kids from following. I always believe in 身教.
The principal also know the problem n tries to resolve all cases, but prevention is better that correction. My boy is shy but not weak, n there is never a fight which is much more serious. He understands and tries to forgive, n learn fm experience.
I believe your case is very worse n that's why u use such kungfu as a 非常method which should never apply to us. U are right that I have to train my boy to be independent n solve issues by himself, we are doing this. But there are so many such kids in a school. The main point is whether the parents can 配合 the school's mission n views, n do something at home. Changing school is pessimistic fm a certain point of view, but optimistic from the good sake of my son.
原帖由 talent2000 於 10-5-29 13:29 發表
To fight or arguement among primary schools is frequently occurred. I am very typical and crazy, perhaps. Just look into your case, firstly, have you tried to settle these fights in school or reflecte ...
作者: Longan 時間: 10-5-29 15:52
Thanks for your consensus. A lot of parents do not understand its importance.
原帖由 aryee 於 10-5-28 13:09 發表
咁你而家係咪四處叩門﹖希望你快d搵到適合既學校。品德既要求絶對不能下於成績，呢樣野，比成績影響仲要深遠。
作者: mingb 時間: 10-5-31 02:39
唔係卦, Band 1 學校考三甲仲要不安? 真係冇野諗搵野黎諗.
作者: aryee 時間: 10-5-31 17:21
原帖由 mingb 於 10-5-31 02:39 發表
唔係卦, Band 1 學校考三甲仲要不安? 真係冇野諗搵野黎諗.
可能你覺得我庸人自擾，但我又覺得，咩程度既人，都可以繼續追求進步空間。
作者: CHIULHJ 時間: 10-6-1 09:33
以下個案可能會給樓主一點啟示:
http://tkk88.com/index2.htm
作者: aryee 時間: 10-6-1 09:44
我睇過呀，謝謝！對升中部署，確係得益不少！
作者: yypapa 時間: 10-6-1 14:36
Aryee,
I think it's too risky to change school. It is hard to tell how well your kid will adapt the new environment and the competitions. If I were you, I will let him/her to develop other non-academic skills and interests ....... sports, music, dancing etc. How nice to have "周身刀,張張利".
原帖由 aryee 於 10-6-1 09:44 發表
我睇過呀，謝謝！對升中部署，確係得益不少！
作者: aryee 時間: 10-6-1 17:28
原帖由 yypapa 於 10-6-1 14:36 發表
Aryee,
I think it's too risky to change school. It is hard to tell how well your kid will adapt the new environment and the competitions. If I were you, I will let him/her to develop other non-ac ...
Thanks for your advice. 週身刀，haha, 會練返一兩把
作者: InitialD 時間: 10-6-1 21:11
Go ahead to change.. otherwise ou will regret for whole life.(no one can predict the future).
原帖由 aryee 於 10-6-1 17:28 發表
Thanks for your advice. 週身刀，haha, 會練返一兩把
[ 本帖最後由 InitialD 於 10-6-1 21:47 編輯 ]
作者: aryee 時間: 10-6-2 16:05
原帖由 InitialD 於 10-6-1 21:11 發表
Go ahead to change.. otherwise ou will regret for whole life.(no one can predict the future).
哈哈，咁峰迴路轉，暫時我傾向majority既講法，留響現校，再磨返兩把刀
anyway，thanks
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