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標題: Too nervous, need consultation [打印本頁]

作者: leavetogod 時間: 09-10-20 16:03 標題: Too nervous, need consultation

My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that we don't even very familiar with). He has very good academic results. However, after gone through the P1 interview process. His results at this moment is not as good as I expected. Two schools have announced the 2nd interview result and he only got one. Even though the one he got is a pretty famous school, but I feel very frustrated as the one he failed is the one we think he is no problem to get in. What's wrong with him? I ask myself many many times and no one can answer me even myself. However, after attended the 2nd interview, I have some idea. He feels nervous too and therefore he cannot perform naturally. I heard at the end of the interview that the principal told my kid " relax, don't be nervous" and laugh. Even though my kid told me that he did answer all the questions correctly, I feel depress at the spot as most of the school would like to choose those kids with confidence. He is confident but cannot show this during the interview? How come???How can I release my kid and let him performs who he is?Actually, all the 1st interview were passed and I can only wait for the results. One hand, I want to know asap and on the other hand, I'm afraid to know too.

[ 本帖最後由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 21:50 編輯 ]

作者: aa120520 時間: 09-10-20 16:08

Take it easy. I really got the same problem with you. But my boy may be too active during interbiew......

作者: jeremyphlam 時間: 09-10-20 16:16

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 16:03 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

You've to relax yourself first. Although I don't know what will be the final result. My son did enjoy every interviews as we only told him we were going to play with the teachers of the school.

Everytime he would give marks to the interviews for how much "fun" he felt.

Moreover, we decided not to tell him the interview results no matter the schools accepted or rejected our applications.

Just let him have a wonderful interview memories .

[ 本帖最後由 jeremyphlam 於 09-10-20 16:17 編輯 ]

作者: espana 時間: 09-10-20 16:17

When I am in adversity, my wife will say to me:

耶和華是我的牧者‧我必不至缺乏。

他使我躺臥在青草地上、領我在可安歇的水邊。

他使我的靈魂甦醒、為自己的名引導我走義路。

我雖然行過死蔭的幽谷、也不怕遭害‧因為你與我同在‧你的杖、你的竿、都安慰我。

在我敵人面前、你為我擺設筵席‧你用油膏了我的頭、使我的福杯滿溢。

我一生一世必有恩惠慈愛隨著我‧我且要住在耶和華的殿中、直到永遠。

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 16:03 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

作者: chichipa 時間: 09-10-20 16:21 標題: 回覆 1# leavetogod 的文章

After reading your message, I feel you do very nervous and this may make your kids nervous too. So please make yourself relax first.
Also your kid may be too smart and afraid of failure so the pressure may be created by himself.
Anyway, take it easy and good luck!

作者: deniset 時間: 09-10-20 16:23

Take it easy. If you're nervous, so will your kid. Your kid is smart, as you've said. Of course, he can tell and sense by the way you behave. If you're calm, so will he. Then he'll go through the interviews with confidence. LeavetoGod, as you called yourself. Let God take care of the rest.
All the best!

作者: achow 時間: 09-10-20 16:24

First you need to relax yourself. If you are nervous, your kid will feel nervous too although you do not show in front of him/her-trust me, they can feel it.

Every time when i go to interview with my kid, I won't tell them it is an interview or so. Just ask them to see if or not he like the school. Teachers might ask you question, just answer polietly. If you do not know the answer, just say you don't know.

Nothing you can do to control the result and you will never know what are the standard in each school. Just give your kids confident because he is the best in the eyes of the parent.

God will lead the way for your kids.

作者: LaLa 時間: 09-10-20 16:28

樓主,

I think you have the answer already as suggested by your login name -- leave to god. I'm not religious at all but think that if you choose such a login name, you should have confidence in placing the destiny of you and your son in the hands of god, right? I know it's hard but do not give too much pressure on yourself. If you are nervous, how can your son take the interviews easy. Perhaps, you have exerted too much pressure (maybe unintentionally) on him. Afterall, this P.1 interview game is more a matter of luck than pure capability.

作者: LS+MCS 時間: 09-10-20 16:31

As what your name states 'leavetogod' - Leave it to God !

There's still a long way to go before getting the final allocation. Relax ! Your kid will feel the same pressure like you do !

作者: LifeSharing 時間: 09-10-20 16:34 標題: 回覆 1# leavetogod 的文章

Today our kids are moving on their first little step, don't place such a big hurdle in front of "your heart". What others say on your kid is no more important than your care on him.

They would soon have their way of thinking, so you must make use of the prevailing to construct the truth of value with your kid.

[ 本帖最後由 LifeSharing 於 09-10-20 16:35 編輯 ]

作者: Charlotte_mom 時間: 09-10-20 16:36

係, 先放鬆你自己, 你既情緒會影響小朋友
我今年有o係女女學校做interview義工, 見到好多好緊張既家長, 好驚既小朋友, 我唸interview對佢地黎講, 唔會係一件太愉快既事情
有小朋友縫完針, 件衫仲有血, 就跑黎interview, 有小朋友嚎啕大哭喊到成身震晒, 我見到都心痛
interview既野, 大家見下面, 合則來不合則去, 我從來唔會令小朋友覺得佢係being chosen, 我只係俾個message佢, 大家傾下計, 應該有禮貌, 唔識不妨直講, 最緊要認真唸過, try your best, 咁就夠了
(有時校長會特登問d佢唔識既, 睇小朋友反應架, 太negative會影響印象呢)

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 04:03 PM 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

作者: wunma 時間: 09-10-20 16:46

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作者: ShinTeresa 時間: 09-10-20 16:48

relax先自己都甘緊張個小朋友米仲驚有冇諗下比甘大壓力個小朋友於心何忍

原帖由 Charlotte_mom 於 09-10-20 16:36 發表
係, 先放鬆你自己, 你既情緒會影響小朋友
我今年有o係女女學校做interview義工, 見到好多好緊張既家長, 好驚既小朋友, 我唸interview對佢地黎講, 唔會係一件太愉快既事情
有小朋友縫完針, 件衫仲有血, 就跑黎intervi ...

作者: G-Ma 時間: 09-10-20 17:02

係你文章字裡行間除左發現你自己好緊張之外, 亦覺得你懷疑你小朋友有能力上既問題 (What's wrong with him?). 你所做既一切一切小朋友係一定感受到, 包括你對佢既不信任, 呢個未係令佢無自信既原因lor.

take it easy啦, 平常心, 全力支持你小朋友, 相信佢既能力, 唔好stick to一間學校, 呢間唔得咪去第間lor, 好學校咁多, 唔洗驚無書讀.

作者: im_cyt 時間: 09-10-20 17:04

I fully understand your situation as I'm also experiencing the P1 admission process for my son now.

As other mothers said, relax yourself first. Try not to put any expectation on your child. (It seems that you've high expectation on your child cos' he's smart. But it also creates pressure on both of you.)

After each interview, give him some encouragement. I'll usually give him a letter written by myself, praising his effort and courage to face the challenge (stressing that result is not important as I know that you've tried your best), I love you, you're great and brave, etc. I also give him one sticker as a token of appreciation of his effort.

作者: good-boy 時間: 09-10-20 17:10

No one know what would happen the last. Those you may not accept the final result, it may be the best for you and your kid. Who know?

It is a process to learn, not simply to be admitted.....

作者: grDaddy 時間: 09-10-20 17:12

My daughter told me she had fun in the first interview. Then we have submitted as many applications as we could. To her, interviews are just like play group. It seems that she was not nervous at all.

We don't expect she will perform well during the interview and we just try our best to train her to be more pro-active to answer questions. But she performs much better than I expected.

Maybe, if you don't expect much, you will have more.

作者: charlottechan 時間: 09-10-20 17:29

一世人流流長, 考小學只是小朋友和家長其中一個片段,
無論得或失, 我們都希望有個美好回憶, 也能從中成長.
不要失望, 要信得過神把最適合的(而可能不是你想要的)給你.

作者: leavetogod 時間: 09-10-20 17:37

Thanks all,

Yes, I should relax myself first. I always talk to myself but it's hard to do sometimes.

I am feeling hard because everytime when I meet someone else (schoolmates parents, teachers, neighbour etc etc...) They praise my son and said no problem to him, he must has plenty of choices.......I can do nothing but only smile. Yes, I should also learn don't put too high expectation on my son and don't take too serious on others words. It's a lesson for me and I hope it won't too late.

I still have confidence on my son, he's really smart and bright in my heart.

Add oil to me and all other great parents.

[ 本帖最後由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 21:47 編輯 ]

作者: mmmmm 時間: 09-10-20 17:47

P1 admission is just like a game. Finally, everyone will have a P1 seat as promised by our government.
Remember, if your son is smart, he will be good no matter which school he entered. We want out kid to go to those elite schools, butfor the kids, every school is the same.
The selection process depends very much on luck. Kid's preformance will be influenced by so many factors, he failed one interview means nothing, no need to postulate too much or question yourself.

作者: wootaitai 時間: 09-10-20 17:49

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作者: coachnewspaper 時間: 09-10-20 17:55

take it easy!父母最重要是平常心,希望越大,失望越大,家長避免壓力過大,會影响小朋友心理,小朋友是感受到的,因子女的壓力通常是來自父母的期望.家長要知interview過程只用很短的時間,末必完全掌握到小朋友的能力,成功與否有時都要靠些運氣,每間學校收生標準不同,有些喜歡思考形文靜乖巧的小朋友、有些喜歡活潑敢言自信的小朋友.我有朋友女兒上年考到St.Paul co-edu,但就考不到一間住屋附近的心儀普通直資小學!

[ 本帖最後由 coachnewspaper 於 09-10-20 23:12 編輯 ]

作者: alextamfl 時間: 09-10-20 18:09

我曾經都好似你咁，好緊張，攪到我個仔在都唔開心，現在我放松了許多，都是因從GOD而來的平安。很重要是我們有咗接受唔成功的預備，係唔成功而不是失敗，這也是日後小朋友一定會遇到的情況，等他們習慣一下都好，否則將來他們點樣可以面對逆境。

作者: pppp41 時間: 09-10-20 18:25

leavetogod. 如你所說, 你小朋友是上等馬, 無論去到那間小學, 都是上等馬. 你要相信你自己對你小朋友的了解, 相信你小朋友的能力. 給他足夠信心, 為他盡力就已經足夠. 正如很多回覆都說, 自己release, 小朋友就會release.

作者: Queenie_0012 時間: 09-10-20 21:34

大家都放鬆啦.

間間學校要求都唔同, 豈能盡如人意.
無 2nd in, 唔收你個小朋友, 係佢地無tastes 啫~ 我成日都係咁諗~

不過, 我同意, 其實我都好緊張.
尤其係呢個月, 齋等消息, 等有無得2nd in~
都等到我傻傻地.

作者: diversity 時間: 09-10-20 21:41

Your case is not uncommon. There were many parents writting similar things previously. the more tense you are, the more it will affect your and your kid's performance. Treat it as a learning process and enjoy it. Your son will have a place eventually under the Hk education system.

作者: dordormom 時間: 09-10-20 21:47

Hi leavetogod,

Take it easy la.. don't put pressure on yourself and you will infect your son too.

I am not very nervous on all my daughter's interview. Everytime she goes to interview I will say this ss your special date and you can eat your favourite food and ice cream until you finish the interview. She did ok for each interview. She will let me know whether the interview is fun or not too.

if you believe in God's work, you have been finished and did your best. Just relax and wait so as me.

作者: jamesbond007 時間: 09-10-20 22:39 標題: 回覆 1# leavetogod 的文章

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作者: wootaitai 時間: 09-10-20 23:35

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作者: jamesbond007 時間: 09-10-21 00:31

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作者: childrenfirst 時間: 09-10-21 07:57

leavetogod

Please take good care of yourself since this is quite a long battle. I think what you can do is trying to relax and maybe you can go out for a movie, have a day out in the countryside - anything that is not related to P.1 interview. When you are relax, your son will feel it and when he feels comfortable, he will has a better performance.

My son can read my emotions very well, no matter I am happy or not, he knows it at once. what i am doing now is completely put aside all the P.1 stuff until i receive the 2nd interview letters.

作者: wootaitai 時間: 09-10-21 09:38

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作者: ETdad 時間: 09-10-21 12:00

Suggest jamesbond007 to go to church for more information or discuss religious issues in other post.
We are here to help one another for P1 interview parents.
Let’s encourage one another.

原帖由 jamesbond007 於 09-10-21 00:31 發表
Wootaitai:

I suppose you're a Christian coz you said you pray to God just now and I also suppose a Christian should love his or her enemy. Do you love your enemy or me?

Could you teach me how to pr ...

作者: SmallTungmama 時間: 09-10-22 09:16

leavetogod,

當年我二少考小學時我同你一樣甘緊張, 因為我家大小姐已經入了一間我地的dream school, 而二少的資質比大小姐好(我自認為), 但當第一間學校出2nd In result 時, 榜上無名, 我當時與你一樣, 不斷問自己, 在那裡出錯, 就是因為自己的緊張, 加上姐姐入了一間女校, 而囝囝考政府學校跟本沒有分, 更加令我的壓力大增, 囝囝都感受到壓力, 在這日子真的很辛苦, 不斷叫自己放鬆, 但做唔到, 你的心情我很明白, 當年幸好我身有很多好朋友支持, 經常陪伴我, 最終都度過這些日子, 不要被一間學校把你嚇怕, 每間學校有自己的要求, 可能這不適合你囝囝, 不代表囝囝不標青, 重有很多選擇, 當年我囝囝除被這一間reject外, 其他間間都收他, 如今他已入讀了我地的dream school. 去年到我細女, 我已經董得放鬆, 雖然未能同姐姐同校, 但我地都已經努力左. 不要放棄, 希望在明天, 好消息會陸續來.

作者: andrewpapa 時間: 09-10-22 11:42

Leavetogod,

I think I know which school you have just gone thru the 2nd interview. (coz you can hear and watch your son, right?)

many friend here have told you how to calm yourselves, all those are correct.

One point I need to point to you, this small step is the start, everyone has a different started line, but the most important is who can run thru the finished line eventually.

I have heard so many kids in famous school end up with poor academic result.  Why? Too nervous both parents and child.

you have many years to walk with your childred, if you are panic, how can you lift up your son? don't question his ability.

remember there is a poster with footprint on the beach.  God with lift you up when you have difficulties, so does you have to lift up your child.  the most important message in this poster is ---- confident and trust

work hard, hope your son can get into a school that he can live with.

If possible, see you in the school function you have just finished the 2nd interview lah

作者: leavetogod 時間: 09-10-22 12:04

Really thanks to all the advices. It's so touch and warm to have so many responses even though we don't know each other. It's a good platform to release myself.

I feel better now and will try my best to stay calm as I really love my son.

I learnt a great lesson. My son is a very mature and considerate little boy. How come his mother, me, is so emotional. Therefore, I will always remind myself that the most important things I can give him are love, care and guildance. Let's him walk his way.

I grow up with my son and he is my treasure forever.

Million thanks.

[ 本帖最後由 leavetogod 於 09-10-22 12:32 編輯 ]

作者: SmallTungmama 時間: 09-10-22 13:23

leavetogod,

我當年因自己的壓力在無形中給了囝囝, 雖然最後他都不負眾望入了心儀學校, 但當我每次見到有人post 出來關於這些問題時, 我便再次想起我囝囝當年的眼神, 我真的很後悔, 一個五歲小孩了為何要承受這無形壓力. 五歲小孩不是要開心的嗎? 我真的很心痛. 我不想這壓力再給我細女, 所以去年我輕鬆面對任何結果, 雖然結果有未盡如意, 但我和囡囡都好開心, 無壓力.

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-22 12:04 發表
Really thanks to all the advices. It's so touch and warm to have so many responses even though we don't know each other. It's a good platform to release myself.

I feel better now and will try my bes ...

作者: tracytang 時間: 09-10-23 14:48

Very very touching!!! Thanks for sharing.

原帖由 SmallTungmama 於 09-10-22 09:16 發表
leavetogod,

當年我二少考小學時我同你一樣甘緊張, 因為我家大小姐已經入了一間我地的dream school, 而二少的資質比大小姐好(我自認為), 但當第一間學校出2nd In result 時, 榜上無名, 我當時與你一樣, 不斷問自己, ...

作者: cutekiddy 時間: 09-10-23 23:45

阿仔第一次面試後我同佢做賽後檢討,突然之間他眼睛紅紅,跟住眼淚就不斷流出嚟!我嘗試問佢点解唔開心,但係阿仔最終都話唔知道原因!嗰一刻我真係好心痛,係唔係我無形之中比咗壓力佢?就算我地大人去見工都會緊張有壓力,何況係一個5歲嘅小朋友?

我依家面試前唯一會做嘅,就係同阿仔講'老師問嘅問題你未必全部都識,但係只要你係盡咗力,爸爸媽媽都會好開心!有一樣嘢你一定要記住,就係爸爸媽媽永遠都o甘愛你!'

無論結果如何,我都會欣然接受!因為對我嚟講,最重要嘅係阿仔可以有一個快樂嘅童年!下年就到阿女報小一了,有咗今次經驗,希望下年同阿女可以從容面對!

作者: mattsmum 時間: 09-11-11 13:52

after all these exercise and years after your child attending your dream school or non-dream school, you would find that it just does not matter. school only plays a part in children's education, your play a part and your children play their part.

作者: semideaf 時間: 09-11-11 14:23

There is nothing much I can say except to share with you my own thought.

I am currently undergoing the same P1 process.  So far news have been disappointing.  I applied 5 schools and so far only one accepted my son and that that one was originally a back up.  I tried to tell myself to take it easy thru out the process but it is really not easy.  It was just like a coach seeing his player performing really bad during a big event when he could have finished first.  (I am biased of coz.)

Yet, the more I understand the game, the more I think getting to whatever school have plus and minus.  In longer run, which outrun which is still hard to tell.

Good famous schools nowadays are all DSS or private and demands high tuition.  They did not turn DSS until recent years.  The tuition part, I am very please to pay if they accept me.  Yet, I sometimes do feel odd with the upbring of my kid in such environment.  For instance, my dream school will cost probably $10k per month.  To be able to avoid this tuition will mean whole class will be from middle class or up.  Will this create an distortion of what the real world is during their upbring?  (For this same reason, I did not apply for one of the most famous school around.)

In addition, most famous schools are competitive in learning but at the same time try to achieve fun learning.  Many of them have lesser homework and try to keep "studying" fun.  Yet, when I saw the pupils' work, the level of output and input does not match.  This implies parents have to actually teach themselves and do the "dirty work".  Will this be too much pressure for me to handle?  I am not sure.

Yet, again, I am not saying famous schools are bad.  If my dream school now accept my kid, I will be celebrating with fireworks.  However, I just hope to point out that what seems good now may not be really good in longer run.  What seems bad now may be good in future.  Only time can tell.

Now, I really leave the destiny of my son to who ever up there.  The more I look into current system, the more I know there is no black/white answer.

I am hoping for the best and if the best don't come, it may be a blessing.

Take it easy.

Cheers.

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 16:03 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

作者: littlefaith 時間: 09-11-11 17:14

原帖由 semideaf 於 09-11-11 14:23 發表
There is nothing much I can say except to share with you my own thought.

I am currently undergoing the same P1 process. So far news have been disappointing. I applied 5 schools and so far only on ...

有學校取錄，已經比好多人好(有些朋友到現在連一個offer都未有)，何必強求？

很多時，我們會認為自己的小孩子很smart(基於自己、身邊的人等等)，但當眾多「smart」的小孩子都一窩蜂擁向熱門學校時，自然會出現「一山還有一山高」的情況。我報了三間學校，亦只有一間學校取錄。

若真的很想很想入讀某心儀學校，唯有叩門。但一切皆以平常心面對，就算叩門失敗還有退路，無謂令自己太緊張，不值得﹗

盡了己力，問心無愧。

作者: smartmatt 時間: 09-11-11 17:29 標題: just the second step

原帖由 semideaf 於 09-11-11 14:23 發表
There is nothing much I can say except to share with you my own thought.

I am currently undergoing the same P1 process. So far news have been disappointing. I applied 5 schools and so far only on ...

So true! The whole process is draining on parents and kids. I try very hard not to hurt my kids in anyway now or later.

Getting into a famous school does not mean automatic great job / career, etc. I've worked with and hired people from famous schools and my experience has been so and so. I've colleagues with so and so backgrounds but do very well and go on to do extremely well by continuing their education and striding to do their best.

Giving kids the right attitudes is probably more important.

作者: makmak615 時間: 09-11-11 17:33

Your name is the answer you need.

Leave to God. I will pray for you.

The problem is not with our kids, it is the system and our expectation.

So far, we have not secured a place in any school, I still trust God will have the best arrangement for us.

原帖由 leavetogod 於 09-10-20 16:03 發表
My kid is now going through the P1 admission process and this makes me very tense and stress.

My kid is smart and bright in the eyes of others (school teachers, friends, and some others people that w ...

作者: wootaitai 時間: 09-11-11 17:46

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作者: wootaitai 時間: 09-11-11 17:47

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