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標題: 愛與痛的邊緣 [打印本頁]

作者: 123had 時間: 08-10-19 22:44 標題: 愛與痛的邊緣

I love my son so I feel very pain and heartbreak every time when he was crying while entering an interview room.

I feel disappointed every time when I received a reject letter from the schools.

I avoid to see other parents as I am afraid of being asked of my son's situation in school interview.

I can't accept the failure of my son especially when I hear the success of other kids.

I can't concenrate on my work even I am a very tough person.

I feel very stressful to open the letters from schools although I always check my mailbox.

I can't control myself to force my son to perform well in coming school interview as I am very worried that he would fail again.

I had enrolled over 10 schools as I did not feel secure in this 'game'.

If you share same feelings with me, good luck to all of us and our beloved kids.

作者: IceCrm 時間: 08-10-19 23:06

Dear stressed out parents...

Though I feel very stressed out and tensed as wellregarding the P.1 applications, I still would like to give you a tap on your shoulder....

As long as we all love our children, we have to understand their abilities and characters, also what the suitable ways are to encourage and make them to get things done. The preparation of interview takes long time for mental counselling. I bet your son would like to feel your love and patience while getting him prepared too.

The more pressure you will give to your son, the more stress he feels like going for a battle when he goes to interview room. I believe this is something you don't want to happen - crying when entering the room, I have explained why this is the consequence could be. Instead, you should encourage him to 'play a game' or 'chat to the teachers' in the room. Remind him to be cheerful and tell him he can go in without you b'coz he is now a big boy. I would suggest you to talk to him in an relax and warm atmosphere before the interviews.

In the meantime, you have to relax yourself as well. We all know that parents got stress during the interval of this 'procedure', however, keep these stress to yourself only as adult should be better to deal with stress and never push your son too hard.

All in all, supposing a worsest case that unable to get any seat in those 'Elite schools', it doesnt mean that is the end of the world. Get you and your child prepared next year and try again on P.2 and so on..... or perhaps he will feel happy to study at the school got allocated.

I wish you good luck and be happy all times.

作者: skygame 時間: 08-10-19 23:21

I love my son so I feel very pain and heartbreak every time when he was crying ....

Exactly as same as my feeling before today night, but after I have watched a TV program tonight at TVB "新聞透視" regarding a specially disease on a child, nothing is important comparing with their health.
Good luck to everyone!

作者: 123had 時間: 08-10-19 23:35 標題: 回覆 # 的文章

IceCrm,

Thank you for your support!

It is a really a very big challenge to me. I don't know what is the problem. I care about my son, I give him a lot of learning opportunities and exposure.... we give him a lot of encouragement and support.... however, he still failed in school interview.

Of course, this is not the end of the world. We may try again next year if everything gets worse.

作者: Heiyingleefamil 時間: 08-10-20 01:08

123had

In fact, only a little proportion of parents got 2nd interview chances, you have many "friends" here, including me....

BTW, can anyone of you teach me how to use "引用" in my feedback??

作者: baekdoosan 時間: 08-10-20 10:26

我也試過小一全軍覆沒. 第一二round俱落空, 考私校直資又不收(2nd in), 叩門受盡白眼結果也不收. 當時真是晴天霹靂無法接受, 好嬲好傷心, 憎死所有名校, 不給機會我. 也憎死自己, 對不住小朋友.

有些事情無法改變, 你只有去面對. 接受沒有名校的日子. 你和小朋友都要繼續生存下去, 不要給壓力小朋友. 有些小朋友成長速度較慢的. 小朋友需要你的栽培, 加油!

作者: jjbaby0307 時間: 08-10-20 10:30

Believe it or not, i have exactly the same situation as you.

I love my daughter very much, and she's a 100% mummy girl, if mummy walks aways, her tears start to drop.  I tried my best to give her more extra cirricular activities to play with other children, she was improving a lot during summer, but I guess all the children are different facing the P1 interview, my girl is going backwards, cry each time going to interview, and not only that, even cry when going to piano lessons and now when going to school......

Like all other parents, I applied 7 schools for her.  The first interview she didn't know what was happening so she didn't cry when she was walking up to the classroom with other children.  But when I picked her up, the teacher told me she might be nervous and cried a little bit at the beginning of the interview..., and that's when the nightmare begins...

The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th school, she cried each time....

The 2nd school was the school I like the best as the school is well-known to provide a happy environment for children.  My girl cried and would not go up to the classroom at all.  The teachers were very nice, they let me accompany her all the way to the classroom, let me sit right beside her.  She felt more comforted and performed quite well with my presence, but of course, I was crying in my heart as I know for sure I'm going to fail this school...

The next day after the interview, I wrote a letter to the school's principal to express my gratitude to the teachers who didn't give up my daughter when she was crying, and encouraged her to complete the interview successfully.  Two weeks later, I received an acceptence letter from the school.

I think it's very harsh for a 5 year old child to face this kind of pressure, although most kids are enjoying the interview and are just like going to play.  I have another few interviews in the next few weeks, but I have decided to give them up as both my daughter and I cannot afford this pressure, I told her:  no more school interviews, you only need to be a good girl and I'll be very happy.  Both of us feel relax now.

原帖由 123had 於 08-10-19 22:44 發表
I love my son so I feel very pain and heartbreak every time when he was crying while entering an interview room.

I feel disappointed every time when I received a reject letter from the schools.

I av ...

作者: aniwong 時間: 08-10-20 10:38

Try to release your sadness & stress on the post. May be more comfortable. Everybody could share with you! You are not alone! Go, Go, 123had, & 123 get up!!!!!! & 123 had good result!!!!

原帖由 123had 於 08-10-19 22:44 發表
I love my son so I feel very pain and heartbreak every time when he was crying while entering an interview room.

I feel disappointed every time when I received a reject letter from the schools.

I av ...

作者: itbaby 時間: 08-10-20 11:16

見到你個post都好開心,我諗你個囡囡真係搵到間適合佢的學校.

原帖由 jjbaby0307 於 08-10-20 10:30 發表
Believe it or not, i have exactly the same situation as you.

I love my daughter very much, and she's a 100% mummy girl, if mummy walks aways, her tears start to drop. I tried my best to give her m ...

作者: kaka1124 時間: 08-10-20 11:17

I felt the same too. I feel so bad when my son was crying while entering an interview room. As I knew he will fail and it's the truth.

Even he attend a few interview , I never told him the result , I just don't want to give him stress. And hope he can be bold enough to attend another interview.

作者: loy211 時間: 08-10-20 11:44

don't be so upset,gear up.

作者: mother904 時間: 08-10-20 12:28

我替女兒報了十間直資及私小，開頭我非常緊張，當收到第一封信告知不被取錄時，我憤怒得連信也撕掉...

後來去得越多interview，我的心情相對地放鬆了。有一次去interview時，老師叫小朋友在禮堂排隊等候面見，女兒去了排隊，我不放心地也想跟上去，hubby對我説：「Hold her big.」
我發覺原來我一點也不相信女兒是可以的，一直以為她需要我在身邊，但原來，其實她也可以很獨立的。

於是我越來越看得開，完成interview後就全家去吃茶點，不再理得失，奇蹟出現了：陸續接到取錄信！

相信你的小朋友，別為他們過份擔憂。就算這次真的沒有心儀小學取錄，也不代表他的人生就此完蛋。反過來說，就算今天給最心儀的小學取錄，也不代表他將來一定前途光明。

作者: anniehong0918 時間: 08-10-20 12:37

我也幫仔仔好多間直資/私立﹐而家已經rejected by 2 school,我真的好擔心!我有如實話比仔仔聽已經兩間小學reject左﹐要佢跟住要加油了!其實我仲緊張過佢!希望跟住運氣會好d~!

原帖由 mother904 於 08-10-20 12:28 發表
我替女兒報了十間直資及私小，開頭我非常緊張，當收到第一封信告知不被取錄時，我憤怒得連信也撕掉...

後來去得越多interview，我的心情相對地放鬆了。有一次去interview時，老師叫小朋友在禮堂排隊等候面見，女兒去了排隊，我不 ...

作者: mother904 時間: 08-10-20 12:42

原帖由 anniehong0918 於 08-10-20 12:37 發表
我也幫仔仔好多間直資/私立﹐而家已經rejected by 2 school,我真的好擔心!我有如實話比仔仔聽已經兩間小學reject左﹐要佢跟住要加油了!其實我仲緊張過佢!希望跟住運氣會好d~!
...

放心，好消息會陸續來。

作者: anniehong0918 時間: 08-10-20 13:04

多謝你的鼓勵﹐希望承你貴言啦~!

原帖由 mother904 於 08-10-20 12:42 發表

放心，好消息會陸續來。

作者: carsondaddy 時間: 08-10-20 13:13

Absolutely agree with you.  My son is now in p1. I shared similar experience with you and I even had a lot of fights with my son when I asked him to do the rehearsals for interviews.  And he was very betrayal and incooperative in the first few interviews.  Later on, I decided to let it go and let him relaxed. The results turned out to be better and began to receive acceptance letters, though not from my first choice.

In June, we tried again one DSS which held a open to public 2nd round (even those failed in the first round could apply).  It was even tougher and it got 2 stages to go thru.  Unexpectedly he was accepted.  Right after I paid the school fee, another school of my first choice (which put him on the waiting list since last Dec) called and I chose this one as the final.

I just want to share with you that things will get better and better when you don't put pressure.  And like many BK parents said there are a lot of chances in Jun-Aug since many people like to hold several places till the last minute.  And in fact it is more or less the same group of kids to fight for the same number of school places. No matter there are 1000 or 2000 kids to submit the application for each school, a major portion of them are duplicated.

It is a painful and stressful process which we have to and will go thru.  But don't worry, trust your kids. They can make it.

原帖由 mother904 於 08-10-20 12:28 發表
我替女兒報了十間直資及私小，開頭我非常緊張，當收到第一封信告知不被取錄時，我憤怒得連信也撕掉...

後來去得越多interview，我的心情相對地放鬆了。有一次去interview時，老師叫小朋友在禮堂排隊等候面見，女兒去了排隊，我不 ...

作者: okokdad 時間: 08-10-20 13:20

Agreed. Don't put pressure on the kids and relax and play with kids. Tell her that the school invite to play and meet the kid...
I think it is very useful......

原帖由 carsondaddy 於 08-10-20 13:13 發表
Absolutely agree with you. My son is now in p1. I shared similar experience with you and I even had a lot of fights with my son when I asked him to do the rehearsals for interviews. And he was very ...

作者: LS+MCS 時間: 08-10-20 14:14

Believe majority of the parents share the similar feelings. Don't be too anxious or it will affect your normal daily life. There must always be the way out. Only sometimes it takes time for you to see.

作者: loy211 時間: 08-10-20 14:21

我報了8間私小和直資,已有2間衰左,係要d時間適應,不過機會總是有的,不要氣餒,互勉之.

作者: 123had 時間: 08-10-20 22:18

Dear all,

Thank you for your whole-hearted support!
It is a harsh time to my family.  In fact, 2 private schools had accepted my son.  However, they are not our first or second choice.

After getting your views, I need to adjust my cognition.  I regard the P.1 interview is a way to test out my son's ability and his talent.  Maybe, I am wrong.  The rules of game are actually unfavourable to those kids who are passive, shy and silent.  Therefore, I told myself that 'the interview could not clearly and correctly reflect my son's ability and this is only a chance for the schools to pick out those kids who are verbal, expressive and cheerful.... etc.'

There are still 2 interviews to go in coming Saturday (if I had good luck, I had 2nd interview??).  I think my family need to celebrate the success and braveness of my son during the past 2 months....

作者: aniwong 時間: 08-10-20 22:58

According to your first post, every parents are supporting & comfort you regarding your stressful feelings. But I think it is unnecessary now.

原帖由 123had 於 08-10-20 22:18 發表
Dear all,

Thank you for your whole-hearted support!
It is a harsh time to my family. In fact, 2 private schools had accepted my son. However, they are not our first or second choice.

After getting ...

作者: Heiyingleefamil 時間: 08-10-21 00:38

原帖由 aniwong 於 08-10-20 22:58 發表
According to your first post, every parents are supporting & comfort you regarding your stressful feelings. But I think it is unnecessary now.

If you really don't like those 2 private schools, you should release at least 1 of them, many even more desparate parents/children are waiting for it.

作者: goodmama2003 時間: 08-10-21 00:50

提示: 作者被禁止或刪除內容自動屏蔽

作者: aniwong 時間: 08-10-21 00:56

Heiyingleefamil

You need to quote refer to the post of 123had, not me. Thanks!

原帖由 Heiyingleefamil 於 08-10-21 00:38 發表
If you really don't like those 2 private schools, you should release at least 1 of them, many even more desparate parents/children are waiting for it.

作者: ma90a31 時間: 08-10-21 01:02 標題: 該放輕鬆點。。。

香港的這個遊戲制度就是這樣在走
這個遊戲　已經無所謂公平或不公平了

但是　各位媽咪們
一定要對自己的孩子有信心
他們才五歲
一時的失敗　不代表孩子永遠失敗
妳的失望　孩子都會知曉
這樣對孩子的成長沒有幫助　只有害處
若是因為這樣讓孩子覺得全都是他的錯
那麼　他的成長還會有快樂嗎

他／她們才五歲呀

放輕鬆點

人人一定有學校唸的

作者: Heiyingleefamil 時間: 08-10-21 01:27

Dear aniwong

Thanks for your correction.

作者: aniwong 時間: 08-10-21 01:30

You are welcome!!
Thanks!

原帖由 Heiyingleefamil 於 08-10-21 01:27 發表
Dear aniwong

Thanks for your correction.

作者: loy211 時間: 08-10-21 18:55

我都要參與這個遊戲,呢幾個月人都顛,未來兩個月還要in.

作者: 941媽咪 時間: 08-10-21 21:17

其實無必要報10間！唔通10間你都噤喜歡！
妳和妳的孩子也辛苦了！如果未如理想，不如等中央派位！政府和津貼的學校很多也有高質素呢！

作者: skygame 時間: 08-10-21 21:57

雖然小朋友只得五歲．但他已知道小學面試是學校選擇他與否．當他知道明天要面試時的前一個晚上．他睡著了都出現磨牙．我知道他是很緊張的，雖然面試日他都表現得很平常．早期，我們對失敗的結果十分不開心．但現在我們都以平常心看待．只要我們一家人已盡了力．

作者: 123had 時間: 08-10-21 22:07

原帖由 Heiyingleefamil 於 08-10-21 00:38 發表
If you really don't like those 2 private schools, you should release at least 1 of them, many even more desparate parents/children are waiting for it.

Yes, I had already declined the offer from a private school. I hope this chance could help another kid....

作者: 123had 時間: 08-10-21 22:26

最幸福的孩子不一定是在最好的學校中找到,
而是在一個溫暖快樂的家庭中生活及成長..

我們的孩子, 對不起....在這段時間中, 由於我們的問題 (希望你入名校), 使你們小小年紀便要接受壓力及失敗的滋味.....我們知道你們都和我們一樣不快樂及對自己失了信心...

其實你們每個都了不起, 每個都是我們的小天使, 好寶寶.......希望大家經歷這次體驗之後, 學會了珍惜每個學習機會....一生受用

[ 本帖最後由 123had 於 08-10-21 22:30 編輯 ]

作者: ononprincess 時間: 08-10-21 23:00

Hi,

I am also facing a very great pressure during the recent interview process esp my child is a shy person. However, I don't think we, as a parent, need to tell our children the results of the interviews.

All the pressure should be faced by the parents instead of the children. Try to buy a gift or bring him/her to a place where he/she likes to go or some other encouragement that should make your child to enjoy the interviews.

作者: 123had 時間: 08-10-21 23:30

原帖由 ononprincess 於 08-10-21 23:00 發表
Hi,

I am also facing a very great pressure during the recent interview process esp my child is a shy person. However, I don't think we, as a parent, need to tell our children the results of the inter ...

I totally agree with you. Good luck to your kid...

作者: Heiyingleefamil 時間: 08-10-21 23:56

Dear 123had

"Yes, I had already declined the offer from a private school. I hope this chance could help another kid...."

作者: Ben2003 時間: 08-10-22 00:37

原帖由 123had 於 08-10-21 22:07 發表

Yes, I had already declined the offer from a private school. I hope this chance could help another kid....

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